


To Those Who Wait

by jimblebird



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically this is a romantic comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, but with war criminals, redemption stories are my jam and i hope you like them too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-03-30 03:57:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 128,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19034296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimblebird/pseuds/jimblebird
Summary: Patience was never a word in Akane's vocabulary. Life was fast, rough, exciting. Life would never be afraid to drag her down, just so that she could bounce back up and kick sand into its eyes. For a long time, Akane liked this idea of life. Or maybe, it was the only life she knew.Being stuck on a tropical island in the middle of the ocean contradicted everything. For once, Akane had no footing, no balance, no alley to escape through. But there was a reason she made herself feel this way. There was a reason she visited the pods way more than she should have, and there was a reason she continued living. She just didn't know the answer yet.





	1. White Sands, Realizations

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so...I am so nervous posting this because this is my first fic. But omg this game caused me to die from feelings at least 14 times...and I just gotta write something about it because WHY NOT?! I honestly really like this fandom. It seems much more relaxed from other hell fandoms I have seen or been in, and I need to break out of my shell and be less shy! Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you all enjoy it or whatever! 
> 
> Mostly I'm writing this fic because I feel as if Akane is overlooked? She's very interesting once you get past the "food xD or booby" stage. She's more fleshed out than we give her credit for, and I figured writing from the perspective of someone nuts like her would be fun. So far it has! She can be a little frustrating but tbh I really love her. 
> 
> It's probs gonna be long fic dealing with all of class 77 and the horror of their actions. Redemption stories have always been my fav trope, so you know I had to do it to them. I might break from canon only sometimes, but mostly I'm planning on keeping it close to canon. Let me know if I screw something up! Thank u so much!

It was Akane’s birthday today. She was just surprised she remembered it at all, given the context of everything that had happened. It had only been a few months since the five of them had woken up, and still...There was a sense of a feeling that she couldn’t quite place. Akane wasn’t even familiar with it, if she was being completely honest. The only way she could describe it was if she had just witnessed a building burn to the ground, and then won the lottery, or got a free pass to a buffet. Yeah, that was it. Suddenly, that feeling turned into hunger. She held her stomach and felt the sand between her fingers.

It was almost a joke that she was actually here: Jabberwock Island, a place that had been real, then fake, then real again. When she had woken up every morning, usually too early and covered in sweat, Akane had almost thought that every time, she was still there. Either it was back home or stuck in the killing game, she was still there, running from something or someone or…

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t just become like that; a shell of a human being, a weakling. She was strong, and that’s why she was here on the beach and not a vegetable stuck in a sleeping pod. That’s why she had somehow beaten the odds, despite everything, and was okay. Yet sometimes, she wished that it wasn’t her, with everything that she had done to fulfill her own personal gain. Thinking back on it, maybe they deserved a second chance, all of them. It wasn’t like she believed she deserved punishment, but rather that she wasn’t…

She wasn’t like them. That was all there was to it.

Without thinking, Akane quickly stood up on the sand and kicked the ground as hard as she could, particles of sand bursting in every direction. She pulled back her arms and screamed as loud as she could into the direction of the sea. To one of the others walking past the beach, it must have been quite the sight. She couldn’t even move her body, utterly exhausted from her own anger.

“Dammit.” She muttered. Since she had woken up, her muscles hadn’t been as vigorous as they usually were. That was probably because of her immobility for God knows how long. The sight of her emaciated limbs was almost too horrifying to even consider, and she remembered forcing her eyes shut for minutes, maybe even longer, to get the image out of her head.

The worst part of all, was that she recalled everything; the blood, the fire, the acts she had committed, the things she subjected herself to do. She vomited for days afterward, trying to get the taste out of her mouth. Worst of all, she remembered Junko Enoshima from years ago. How easy it was, to control all of them with a cruel joke. The sight of Chiaki Nanami, a close friend, suspended in the air by dripping spears still appeared in her dreams.

Seeing death used to be a normal part of Akane’s life. In her old home, dead bodies would turn up at the snap of a finger, and she would physically have to find unique ways to maneuver herself around them. Her old town was a crappy one, with even crappier people. Some places were just like that, and Akane had chose to survive. That was all.

But seeing someone you knew you could trust being slaughtered in such a way. Why…? What did she do to deserve that? And why her?

It was cruelty, in its most carnal form. It was a sin that Akane had grown familiar with, and knew the costs.

Akane grabbed a fistful of sand and threw it into the air, yelling furiously once again, blinking herself out of her distractions. Refusing to look down at her body, (which was slowly recovering from years of neglect) Akane closed her eyes and tried to breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe. It was her birthday, July the 15th, and she still couldn’t figure out her age. Her hair was longer, and there were scars covering her skin, and…

Man, she wanted to punch something. Hard. Faster than the speed of lightning!

So she stuck with the best thing she could find: a single, harmless palm tree planted on the beach, leaves swaying in the wind. Akane ran towards the tree, and delivered a strike to the bark. She ignored the pain and surged forward, knocking more sense into the tree than a dictionary. Over and over again, she attacked the defenseless tree, feeling the bark come off of the stem. She tried kicking the tree again, and felt it curve backwards a bit to support the weight. That’s good! Akane thought. Maybe her legs weren’t as bony as she thought.

Another punch, and she could feel a crack resonating from the tree. Not being able to control her anger, Akane did not stop, delivering blow after blow after blow-

“A-Akane, what are you doing?!” Someone had quickly, but firmly pulled her out of the way of the tree. Akane saw red and lashed out at the nearest object. She was stopped by firm, feminine hands and manicured nails locking on her shoulders.

“What the-What the hell? I was just gettin’ started!” Akane screamed, looking at her intruder full on in the face.

“I am sorry!” Sonia said, closing her hands against her chest. Akane had just realized that Sonia must have been a few inches taller than her, or maybe it was just the new shoes. The clothes they had gotten recently were much better than the rags they had before. Sonia, of course, looked great as always. She spotted a bright pink sundress, though her porcelain skin did not fare well with the bright sunlight. She appeared to be nearly invisible, and Akane did not want to think about ghosts right now. “I did not want you to injure yourself.”

“I was fine! I was just practicing, that’s all!” Akane grunted and turned around, embarrassed. “You don’t gotta worry about me.”

“But...the coconut had almost fallen on your head. You might have suffered a concussion!”

“Coconut?” Akane asked, looked around the tree, until her eyes landed on it. It was a rather large one at that, and would have probably done worse than just a concussion. She hadn't really seen one of those before. It fascinated her beyond belief.

“I was...on my morning stroll, as I usually have every morning, and I happened to hear strange screaming noises coming from the beach.” Sonia said, appearing gravely worried. Akane just didn’t get it. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? What were you even thinkin’?” Akane stopped herself right there. Of course she knew what she was talking about. The thought alone stirred something deep in her gut. “Oh, yeah. That.”

“One can only dread, Akane. I trust you all very deeply. However-”

“It just happens, I know.”

“I’m...a-ashamed just by having those thoughts! I’m so sorry!”

“No, it’s not like I blame ya!” Akane started to scratch her back roughly. “Man, I think some bark got stuck in my shirt.” While not as tight as her previous top had been, the blouse she was wearing was still constrictive.

“You should have been more careful, Akane!” Sonia had changed into a seemingly new person, still holding that “princess charm” while doing so. “I know you are frustrated, but-”

“Frustrated? Ah, I was just punchin’ the tree! No harm done!”

“Your...knuckles?” Sonia suddenly grabbed one of Akane’s hands, much to her dismay. She felt around the knuckles, and Akane realized how much blood was flowing from the wounds. Mikan would have helped easily with this. “Oh, Akane. What have you done?”

“I was...fightin’ that palm tree. I was-”

“A tree that cannot fight back?” Sonia questioned, lifting one eyebrow. Akane turned her head to look at the sand. How could she even compete with that eyebrow raise? At least then, Akane had admitted weakness in the face of utmost royalty.

“Ergh, I just wanted to hit something. I didn’t care how long, or how much. I just...needed to get it all out.” Akane admitted.

“You have been thinking about it all again?” Sonia asked.

“...Yeah, but it hasn’t even really gotten to me or nothin.’ I-”

“That is enough. Come with me, Akane.” Sonia pulled her gently by the hand, minding the cuts on her knuckles. During her school life and the killing school life, Akane had never paid much attention to Sonia. Maybe she had just seemed too soft, too feminine. But...it was a shame she had not. Sonia was...Simply to put it, she was good. She was a very strong person, maybe just not the way Akane had hoped.

“Sonia-” Akane exhaled softly, “Thanks.”

“Hm?” Sonia turned around in curiosity. She was smiling.

“About the coconut, with you savin’ me and all from having a concussion or whatever-” Akane’s eyes lit up, “Wait! We shouldn't just let that thing sit on the beach all day!” She ran back to the shore, earning Sonia’s displeased orders for her to return.

“Akane, you must stop beating that poor tree!”

“I ain’t! I’m not!” Akane’s voice exploded with delight as she ran up to Sonia, coconut in her arms, nestled on her chest for support. “We gotta eat this later, right? I heard coconuts have weird liquid inside ‘em.”

“You mean the milk, am I correct?”

“What! That’s weird. I ain’t complain’ though!” Akane grinned. She could already hear her stomach grumbling. “C’mon, let’s go!” Sonia let out a small chuckle, and followed Akane off of the beach.

**...**

Unsurprisingly, the coconut was incorporated into their dinner. And worst of all, coconut “milk” wasn’t as great as Akane had hoped it would be. It tasted watery, and sort of bitter. Nevertheless, she’d take anything as long as it was indeed, consumable. She had to build up her muscles again, after all. The thought of herself fighting and practicing again had gotten her all pumped up. She clenched her chopsticks so tightly that they had just snapped in half without her knowing.

“Jesus Christ, Akane.” Fuyuhiko muttered. Akane had to admit; he looked pretty badass with an eyepatch. It fit him in a way.

“Whort?” Akane mumbled around a mouthful of rice. Hajime was especially quiet this evening, not once saying a word. Kazuichi was still trying his damn hardest to impress Sonia, and it was so awkward, that Akane almost wanted to die. Besides him, no one else had really said much. Sonia had spoken about the incident with the coconut, but mentioned nothing about Akane losing it at the beach, much to her relief.

“Yeah, you’re like, really intense today.” Kazuichi noticed. “You feeling alright?” Kazuichi hadn’t been affected as much as the others. (in the physical department) The only factor that had proved time had passed for him, was his black hair hidden under the beanie. He wouldn’t shut up about his hair dye, and needing it more than anything in the entire world.

Akane swallowed the rice too quickly, feeling it lump in her chest. She coughed, “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m feeling pretty great!” She laughed and flashed a quick grin. Hajime looked up from his plate and shook his head.

“That’s the most fake excuse I’ve ever heard, no offense.” Fuyuhiko said.

“Fake excuse? What the hell is fake ‘bout it?” Akane shoveled another ball of rice into her mouth, chewing too loudly. Sonia was politely staring in feigned horror at the sight.

“Akane, you must not hide your feelings.” Sonia offered.

Kazuichi smiled widely. “Yeah, listen to Miss Sonia. She’s the expert!” He gave her a thumbs up.

“Kazuichi Soda, I was a normal student with the rest of you! You should not present me as the exception!”

“B-But, Miss Sonia!” Poor Kazuichi tugged his beanie closer to his ears, as if he were trying to escape from the conversation. She just wouldn’t let him have it.

“She’s right... It’s just the five of us. We gotta learn to run things together, y’know?” Fuyuhiko got up from the table and walked off to wash his plate, away from the dining hall. It was still almost alien to hear the actual former Yakuza, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, saying corny things like that. “Thanks, Sonia; for the food.”

“No problemo!” Sonia held her arm with one hand and winked. Akane had nothing to say. However, Sonia held her gaze onto Hajime, who had still not said a single word. Akane couldn’t help but be a little bit concerned. Sonia decided to smile innocently across the table. “Hajime, how has your day been?”

“Hm? Oh-” Hajime seemed to blink out of his corpse-like state, “I uh, didn’t really do much. What about you-”

“I would like to hear about your day, Hajime!” Sonia said clearly and almost aggressively.

Kazuichi saw his chance, and leaped. “Ah, Miss Sonia! Today I-”

“Not now, Kazuichi.” said Sonia. Kazuichi only let out a garbled cry of frustration, and his cheeks became the color of his old hair. His head laid uselessly on the table. Akane hoped he didn’t die from embarrassment, or something of that caliber. Akane would have butted in, but her mouth was full, and her stomach was not.

“Trust me, Sonia…” Hajime nervously smiled. “I was just...waiting around.”

“Waiting around?” asked Sonia, eyes full of questions. She looked sort of like the stray cats around Akane’s old neighborhood. Her eyes were opened wide with excitement. Her mouth hung open with the shape of an "o".

“I honestly don’t remember much.” Hajime’s red eye was going to take getting used to, but at least his hair was gone. When he had gone to cut it off, Hajime ended up tripping over the greasy tendrils and spraining his wrist. In the end, all of them were professional barbers. Well, maybe not Ultimate Barbers, but still. It was the thought that counted.

Akane suddenly finished all that she could muster, for then at least. “You were at the pods?”

Kazuichi almost spit out his drink in surprise, and Sonia jumped from the sudden boom of her voice. Hajime looked around at all of them, and slowly nodded. “Yeah. She’s right.”

“Hajime…” Sonia murmured.

“Heh, gut feeling.” said Akane, pulling herself off the table at long last. “It’s okay, Hajime. I go there all the time.”

“So you’ve been in that room all day, huh?” Kazuichi was confused. That alone was understandable. For the first month, after desperately trying to wake their friends, most of them had just...backed off. They hadn’t really given up, as there was barely anything left to hope in. Still, she knew Hajime was never going to quit, especially when he had taken it all so close to heart. After...her, Hajime just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a surprise though, in a way, he had started everything. Or at least, he had pushed it into a direction that ultimately went up into flames. Then again, was it ever really him? It just didn’t make any sense to her.

Sonia was the next voice to be heard. Akane was already getting up from the table, already zoning out of the conversation. “Well, that is kind of you, Hajime. I’m glad someone is watching over them.”

“It’s what I should do.” Hajime stated. He straightened his tie, which he still wore around his neck. “You want me to help clean up?”

“Ah, no. You’re fine, Hajime.” Sonia said, brushing off her dress.

After Hajime left the three of them, Kazuichi proved once again that perseverance was key. “Miss Sonia, I’m willing to help you wash the dishes-“

“Yes, that will do.” Sonia had her back turned away from him, gathering utensils and extra plates.

“H-Huh?” He was left astonished, and hadn’t moved a muscle. His eye twitched. “W-What?” Akane had to admit she was surprised as well, but she didn’t really care all that much.

“That will do. Thank you, Kazuichi.” Sonia’s words were clipped and barren, but that didn’t stop him from nearly leaping up in joy, and racing to the kitchen’s dishwasher.

“Miss Sonia, I’ll make you proud!”

Before Akane headed downstairs, she and Sonia exchanged a half-amused/half-scared grin, and then she was off to somewhere else.

 

**...**

Every time she was here, the air seemed different. Maybe it was her holding in a breath, or the dreadful stench of time passing by. For every moment she was walking around and awake, all of them slept almost too peacefully. It angered her more than anything.

Of course, she felt no sympathy for Nagito when she passed by his pod, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t affected by it. She didn’t want to look at his nappy hair and almost crazed look he still had when he slept. In fact, the bastard was...smirking. Yes, she knew Nagito was just as vulnerable in the situation as the others. He just happened to be their most difficult player.

Holding off the blind rage to punch glass, Akane wondered why she was even here. All five of them had sworn to give the pods a break. They would never give up, but not hold up their hopes either. Akane and apparently Hajime had clearly broken this swear. As long as he was still asleep, Akane would never be able to rest.

Passing by the one they had once called “Byakuya”, was especially strange. She had never really got it. The whole imposter angle was hard to believe. It was way more probable for someone to become obese, right? Even though, she had met the “real” Byakuya…and…while he was a bit different from the one who laid in the pod, he...

Akane walked away before her brain started to ache. Strangely enough, she missed the “Imposter.” He was a good eating partner, someone with her same tastes. At least there was someone other than her and Teruteru who enjoyed food more than just a little.

Passing by friends and sometimes near strangers got her to the last pod in the right corner. She could hear the beeping of the life support machine come much slower than the others, and she hated to even hear it. Forcing herself to kneel down next to it, Akane saw him: Nekomaru Nidai, looking alive enough despite dying twice.

She couldn’t really explain her own reasoning for it, but for the last months, she had visited the pods almost everyday. It was sort of her secret, and it would show a weakness to everyone else if they knew.She would force herself to sit down and save her energy. To maintain her body again, she had to rest for at least a little while. That’s what Nekomaru would have told her after a spar.

Just looking at him lying there, was almost enough to make her go off the edge. What was he doing? Lying there? He should be training and yelling and living his life with the rest of them! It just made her feel useless, seeing him and knowing there was almost no way to get him back. It...It…

Akane looked away before she almost broke the glass. Her eyes were beginning to sting again. Damnit! She thought bitterly. Damn him for making her feel like this, terrified and horrible and lonely. She wished more than anything that she could have been a better friend to him, given that she had put him in danger countless times. She didn’t even get to say goodbye.

Even when Akane was used to the threat of death, the shock of seeing dead bodies remained. The thought of one of her siblings turning into a mangled corpse was one of her worst fears, and she had taken every precaution to make sure that didn’t happen. And while it worked for them, it hadn’t worked for Nekomaru. He had just… decided his fate, along with Gundham. Finding that out had only made it worse.

Impatiently, she tapped her finger absentmindedly on the glass. Below the white tank top that he wore, she pretended not to notice the surgery scar that went up to his collarbone. Nekomaru had once told her stories of his childhood stuck in hospitals, and that only made matters worse. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to train with him, she… There was something else, also lingering in her mind. She never wanted to know what it was. It just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t…fair. The worst part was, she didn’t even know what was wrong with her. Still, she wanted to keep trying, and make sure he wouldn’t die a third time.

“Akane?” She recognized Hajime’s voice and she turned around. Her eyes were wild, mirroring her hair that stood out in every possible direction. Hajime stepped back a few feet from where he originally stood. He must have been taken aback.

“Oh. Hey, Hajime!” Akane leapt backwards from where Nekomaru laid, and forced out a grin. “You came to see ‘em as well?”

“Yeah...That’s what I do now.”

“You...barely ate anything at dinner!” Akane pointed at him, “You gotta eat, Hajime.”

“I know, I know.” Hajime nodded as if he wasn’t listening. Akane exhaled heavily and followed him around the circular room. In the middle, sat the monitor where Makoto and the others might have set everything up. Akane didn’t want to think too much about it. She’d leave computers for someone else.

“Hey, don’t just ignore me.” Akane grunted as Hajime adbenstly typed on the keyboard suspended down on the computer. Word after word being entered into the machine, it still made the same damn beep it always did. When that beep was heard, the usual text would be displayed on the screen in cherry red text.

**THE ATTEMPT TO BRING A PATIENT OUT OF STASIS IS NOT ACCEPTED. PLEASE TALK TO THE ADMINISTRATOR FOR MORE INFORMATION. THANK YOU : )**

Hajime almost yelled with frustration, jerked away from the monitor. “God!” Akane watched as he pathetically went to one of the walls to slide down it. He sat on the floor, feeling the cold tile with his fingers.

“Hey, Hajime! You can’t just give up like that.” Akane jumped over to him and knelt down, feeling her long hair sway beneath her. It accidentally hit Hajime in the face, and he recoiled backwards. “Oh, crap. You okay?” She definitely needed a haircut, if anything.

“I’m not giving up.” he said.

“Well, you gotta get up...from the wall!” Akane shouted, “C’mon!” She pulled Hajime up to his feet, watching him try to keep his balance with that lanky body of his.

“It’s just so discouraging, Akane.” Hajime said.

“Well, you’re being disacouragin!’ You gotta push forward past the hard stuff!” Akane spat, feeling fired up. Man, she really wanted to punch something again.

“Alright, just don’t punch me or something!”

“Damn, how did you know?” Akane asked.

“So you actually were gonna punch me?”

“If you were gonna be a wuss bout it!”

“I’m not...trying to be a wuss, Akane. I’m just...tired.” Hajime sighed deeply. Akane chewed on her cheek. Damn, she was hungry again. However, she stood still and beckoned for Hajime to continue. He gave her a quizzical expression in return. “I don’t have much to say, really. Just...I don’t know.”

“Well, I want the same you do, so don’t don’t act like we’re strangers!” Akane huffed, “I’m about as desperate to get ‘em awake! The others are weak for not trying enough.”

“I wouldn't call them weak.” said Hajime.

“But I would. We shouldn’t just...give up on the ones still...like, brain dead!” Akane crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. Her knees were shaking. She didn’t know why, and did not want to know.

“No one wants to give up on them, Akane. It’s understandable… to take a break.” Hajime looked up at her. “Even if I won’t rest, that doesn’t mean they have to copy me or something.”

“No. It’s not. It’s not understandable!” Akane clenched her fists.

“Maybe not to you. I’m just not sure what else we can try.”

“There has to be some smart computer stuff you guys can try! I’m not good at that kinda thing but-”

“Akane.” Hajime’s face shifted from emotionless to perplexed. Taking on the responsibility of being their leader had really changed him, maybe for the worse. Akane couldn't remember the last time he smiled. Then again, what he was feeling was understandable. It really was, but she couldn't help but despise this new facade more and more.

“Hajime, I might punch you if you don’t stop disagreein’ with me!”

Without even giving her the satisfaction of a response, Hajime turned away from her for a moment. Then, he started talking again. “Wait, Akane...do you think we could create a program?”

“Uh...what?”

“Imagine...maybe that way, we could actually save them? Maybe….” Hajime’s light bulb flickered on. “Where’s Kazuichi?”

“Uh...in the kitchen with Sonia. Whadda’ you talkin’ about?”

Hajime didn’t respond, running down the hallway and probably out of the building. Akane stood still, arms swaying in places, knees shaking. She hated, hated, hated it; that feeling. The only way she could describe it was tinge of nervousness, fear, and...was it happiness? Wanting to try and keep it under wraps, she ran around the room 15 times, and did 45 sit ups on the floor. Still, the feeling would not go away. Feeling the constricting fabric of her shirt, she yanked it off her head, along with the shorts she had embellished. There she sat on the floor in her underwear, looking absolutely pathetic and strange.

While her hands combed over the dust bunny littered tile, Akane leaned her head against one of the pods. She hadn’t even told anyone that it was her birthday. Of course, there wasn’t really any reason to for her. Birthdays were never very important to her own childhood. No one had celebrated or even remembered it, so why would she? Still, birthday cake did sound nice. She looked at the digital clock installed on the front entrance of the room. It was 9:32 PM.

In a few hours, it would be July 16th, and she would remain the age she had passed today. And to tell the truth, Akane was not hurt at all. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt to know how old she was now. At least, she’d be over 20, and looking like a shell of her former self. If she did the math, or logic… she would be…

22 years old. Oh.

She hadn’t done it like that before. Birthdays were… interesting. Akane knew that everyone who had a birthday got a wish completed, a gift opened. During her childhood, it was hard to just find a crumb of food, dare a nice present. She wasn’t used to the privileges of daily life.

Yet, if she could have her own kind of present, and that would be anything she ever wanted...It could be anything: Food, money, clean skin, strong bones. But when she thought about it hard enough, Nekomaru and the others safe and sound was the only gift she would ever need. So, she sat and silently hoped for anyone to hear her, that might have been listening. If anyone was there at all, Akane needed them to listen. If Hajime could truly fix his mistakes, then he’d be a friend for life.

Akane held both arms behind her head and closed her eyes, feeling the cold air hit her roughed up skin. Her heartbeat had slowed down to normalcy. “Here’s to hoping, I guess.”


	2. Young Smiles in the Last Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually created months worth of chapters so im just gonna go crazy go stupid. BTW there are flashback chapters in this story so get ready!

It was a beautiful day to survive. The sun bright and cheery, the nicer side of town bustling with life, even if that life was bleak and disgusting. There was a sense of hope in the air, even if she had barely anything left to give. Eight pairs of hands grabbed at her side, small ones. Life today, was filled with wonder for them, and that was all that really mattered.

Akane Owari, 15 and still fighting, had just won her 5th gymnastics competition. She had been the talk of the community, with her ill-fitting clothes and raggedy hair. The judges had surely judged the teenager more than just her ability to swing from bar to bar. But natural talent was still natural talent. Akane was, for the first time in a long time, happy. Perhaps the creep at the restaurant was right. Gymnastics did come in handy after all. If it meant bringing warm smiles to her siblings’ faces, then maybe that was what life was all about.

Winning the prize money of $1500 had gotten the “lil’ ones’” bellies fed, if only for the moment. Despite their skinny frames, they ran around her legs and yelled about like normal kids. The four of them were excited, carefree. Even if they were heading back to a worn down shack in a worn down town with dangerous folk, that didn’t matter now. That didn’t matter. The men and dogs who chased her could wait.

“Akane!” Miki, the youngest, laughed joyfully. She was only just four, enjoying life while she still could. “Protect me, protect me!”

“Protect you?” Akane grinned as the five of them walked forward down the streets.

“She’s just being a chicken.” said Haruo, second oldest and only eight years old. Following Akane’s footsteps wherever she went, he longed to a be a baseball legend. Currently, he adorned a modest, blue baseball cap. It had small holes in it from years of wear.

“Am not!” shouted back Miki.

“Are too!” Ume, six years old with a pink sundress and ribbons in her hair, jumped in front of her sister and sent her flying backward. “Haha! You almost fell on your butt!”

“Okay, cool it a bit.” Akane hushed. They were approaching the bad side of town, and Akane gently curved them toward herself.

“Please, calm down!” The only child walking straight by Akane’s side was Satoshi, the oldest and had just turned nine. His lips were curled down, barely noticeable by the short scarf that laid on his neck. “You guys are gonna cause trouble if you don’t-”

“Shut up, Satoshi!” Haruo shouted, realizing his mistake at once when he looked up to see a pissed Akane.

“C’mon, Haruo. What did I tell ya about the rules?” Akane sighed.

“Rules…?” Haruo's previous behavior had him shrunken into a cautious butterly, he walked with shuffled feet. Akane tried not to laugh at the sight.

“You dummy! You forgot the rules?!” Ume giggled maciously, and once again faced the same traumatizing glare from her big sister. “O-Oops, sorry.”

“What the hell happened to you guys? I thought you guys loved each other!” Akane rolled her eyes and coughed for dramatic effect.

“We do! We do love each other!” Ume, Miki, and Haruo all screamed at the same time. Satoshi covered his ears at the sudden, harsh sounds.

“Then prove it!” Akane said, “What are the rules?!”

“U-Uh, ‘Never call eachother names?’” Haruo mumbled.

Ume straightened her posture, “Obviously it’s that we gotta get along with each other!”

“We’re all on each other’s side, right?” asked Miki.

“That’s right. Don’t you guys start anything else.” Akane turned her attention to the men they passed. Their squinted eyes gave her the chills. Silently, she moved her family faster down the crumbled streets.

“I’m sorry, Akane. We’re just so excited and stuff.” Haruo said.

“Yeah! You got so much money! Maybe we can move to the city soon!” Ume hopped up and down.

“When are we moving?!” Miki squealed.

“As soon as possible.” said Akane, “I’ve still got some more to win, but soon.”

“How soon is soon?” Satoshi asked.

“I dunno. I still gotta work that out…” Akane peered around the dirty sidewalk. There weren’t as many people around as before. This was good, as she didn’t want anyone following them home. “Come on, lil ones. Home ain’t that far off.”

**...**

Her foster mother hadn’t blinked an eye when she returned, as she was passed out on the couch. The door had just been wide open, and the home was tainted with the stench of liquor and cigarettes. Miki coughed as they walked inside. Her eyes watered from the smell. Anyone else could be in the house, and Akane would to check. She heard several male voices talking amongst themselves in the kitchen. Akane’s blood ran cold just from the sound. If she could just get her siblings around the corner without them noticing, then-

“Hey, girlie-“ One of the men slurred from one too many beer cans. He had really bushy eyebrows. “Akane, was it? What’s up?”

“Why are there so many of you this time?” Akane pushed her siblings forward down the hall, ushering them in front of her as she forced herself to stay still and endure it.

One of the men shrugged. “We’re getting a bit thirsty again. Can you get us some drinks, pretty please?”

“I’m...kinda busy right now.” Akane muttered. She hoped to God they wouldn’t ask for anything weird this time. Down the hallway near the entrance of their room, Satoshi watched with worry. He seemed to be the only one to fully grasp their situation. Still, it wasn’t like Akane could just make it better automatically. Rolling with the punches is what she did best.

“That’s a little rude, ain’t it?” The tallest of the three men spoke, and curled his tongue as he did so.

“When you have guests, it’s crucial to obey em.” said the second man.

Akane spat, “You ain’t my guests, okay? I’d be happy if you all just went and blew up or somethin.”

“That’s too damn rude, even for you, sweetheart.” said the third.

He was right. That was too harsh, even for her. But they weren’t supposed to be here, invading her siblings’ privacy, threatening her family’s peace with their twisted words and terrible breath. Akane sighed and leaned against the open doorway.

“Alright. I’ll get you the beer.” Akane said. “Is that it?”

“Hm. Lose the panties, and then we’re even.”

Akane frowned, then reached underneath her skirt and pulled down her undergarments. There really was nothing special about them. It was strange to why they were so fascinated by a teenage girl with no underwear. Still, she felt nothing by it except annoyance. Akane then walked over to the fridge and brought out three cans of cold beer. She nearly slammed them on the tabletop, scattering several boxes of takeout in the process. A few cockroaches crawled behind them on the cracked wall.

“Thanks, sweetheart, for the help.” Said one of the men, “Your mom just had her last drop. Couldn’t take anymore.”

Akane didn’t respond, and turned to leave, only to be caught at the hem of her skirt. A large hand moved up her backside, and she almost shot forward from the alien feeling. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to imagine her siblings safe.

“What ar-What are ya doing?” Akane’s voice seemed foreign in her throat.

“Ain’t my fault I don’t get much action.” The first man, the culprit, smiled a cheeky smile. His hand eventually slid downward and toward his body again, and Akane’s fingers tightened in an odd sort of relief. With her panties locked tightly in her fist, she slinked away from the men and toward the open exit of the kitchen. Just a few more competitions, and she would be out of here.

She could hear the men chuckle to themselves as she exited the kitchen, and moved to find her siblings. Not to her surprise, all four of them were sitting on the cot they called their bed, staring up at her with awed eyes.

“What happened, Akane?” Haruo asked.

“Did you punch those ugly men?!” Ume put her arms behind her back and grinned. She had her two front teeth missing.

“Nah, but I wish I did.” Akane said.

“I wish you did, too.” Haruo mumbled. “It’s cool when you punch things.”

“I can’t punch ‘em whenever mom is around.” Akane brought her knees up to her chest. She needed to put her underwear back on, as she realized they were still in her hand.

“Are you holding your undies?” Miki giggled.

“Ugh, again?” Satoshi groaned. “Akane, please stop letting them do that.”

“It’s fine. I’m not bothered too much by it.” Akane muttered, playing with the buttons of her shirt.

“But I am. It’s really gross.” Satoshi walked across the small room, picking up a worn comb and began to brush his hair.

“Boys are gross.” Ume said.

“No, they’re not!” Haruo grabbed a pillow and whacked it on Ume’s head. Since there was nothing holding the fabric together, the seam split and the pillow burst into goose feathers. They cascaded down from the air in harmony, some landing peacefully on the children's’ heads. Miki started to laugh with joy.

“Haruo!” Akane screamed, “What’s all this?”

“Uh, I didn’t k-know that would happen!” Haruo closed his eyes and prepared himself for the worst, yet all Akane did was lean forward and flick him gently on the nose.

“Now you guys gotta clean all this up!” Akane smiled, and stood up. She needed to find another pillow, since they could only afford one. Still, she decided she wouldn’t entirely blame Haruo for the incident, as the cushion was close to becoming nothing but feathers and seams anyway.

“I wasn’t even doing anything!” Satoshi said, while Miki nodded.

“Ah, okay. Well, Ume and Haruo should do it though.” Akane scratched her head. It was not shocking that she couldn’t find any pillows. Amenities were hard to come by, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but her “parents.” Her “father” was on some sort of trip, and her “mother’s” best idea was to invite several men over and mess around. The pay was good, though. She had seen the yen being traded around by her mother, only to be replaced with bottles of wine the next day.

“Aw, man!” Haruo called, “This is all your fault, Ume!”

“How is it my fault?!”

“Because you were being fucking mean!”

Akane paused and turned around to look at her brother, “Where did you learn that word?”

Haruo paused again, incredibly silent. He would not meet her gaze. “Mommy’s friends.”

Oh, her friends. Akane sighed, “Don’t say that word. It’s a bad word.”

“Bad word?” Ume asked, “Haruo cursed at me? Wow, Haruo.” She started to laugh rather deviously.

“You’re not in the clear either, Ume. Start picking up those feathers!” Akane pointed at Ume, causing her to leap with surprise and start to throw the feathers into one corner of the room. It was simply called the “trash corner.”

“Wait, no! We could still use them.” Satoshi ran over to where Ume stood and grabbed the feathers out of her hands.

‘What for?!” Ume asked.

“For…anything, I guess.” Satoshi took the feathers and stashed them into a drawer. It was hanging off its hinges.

“He’s got a point.” Akane said. “Don’t just throw anyway anything. You gotta see if it’s useful first.” She stared down into the drawer. Yeah, those would do nicely. They could even make a new cushion.

Yawning, Akane glanced over at the window. The sun was set, and the night had settled in. She could make out the city on the skyline, nearly hearing the civilization, nearly smelling the fresh food that she wouldn’t have to scourge trash cans for. One day, she might never go hungry again.

But that would have to wait. Until then, it would have to just wait.

Without even having found a pillow, Akane settled down the mattress that sat on the carpet. It was muggy, and without air conditioning, the house was miserable. She felt as if she would melt, yet she still leaned down against the wall, feeling the floorboards creaking as she moved in place. Almost on cue, her siblings crawled on top of her, using her as their own personal pillow. Miki laid on her chest, Haruo in her lap, Satoshi and Ume by her sides.

“At least we won’t have to fight over the pillow anymore.” Satoshi stretched his arms and wormed into her shirt for comfort. Akane just realized how tight it felt, around her waist like a vice. She forced herself to shut her eyes.

“It was my turn…” Miki mewled.

“I’ll get you guys a new one. I’ll...use a bit of the savings, so don’t you worry.” Akane stared at the crack of light that was shown through the door. She could still hear the men laughing at a joke that would probably be forgotten the next day. “It’ll be okay.”

“Will it?” Satoshi asked.

“Yeah. Maybe one day I’ll actually build us a bed, though I’m not that good at it.”

“Nah, Akane. You’re good at everything.” Haruo yawned. “I bet you could kill a giant if you wanted to.”

“Hah, maybe I could.” Akane huffed. The money in between her breasts was starting to itch. She couldn't take it out, when it was inside her shirt, safe and sound. Outside, she heard the boom of several gunshots, and closed her eyes. If she could just shut her eyes, then in a another world, she would be somewhere else. In another life, Akane wouldn’t have to worry about scrounging around to find the next meal, and peering every alley corner to make sure her siblings would be safe. All she had to do was win prize money, and do what she was best at. Then if that happened, her siblings might know what a bed might feel like, and what a home could really be.


	3. Down Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you to anyone willing to stick with me! i love you all!

The inside of her cottage was even messier than it was yesterday. Littered around the small room were bits of plastic, food containers, and forks. A couple bottles of liquor were strewn around as well, though she felt ashamed just by their presence. Before everything, Akane had sworn she would never become like the men her mother kept around, and yet it pulled her in. She was of legal age, so there weren’t any laws being broken. Still, she wondered what her siblings would think of her now; sad and slightly hungover. Only slightly.

Twirling one of the bottles in her hand, Akane forced herself up from the hardwood floor. Stretching her back, she gathered up stray clothes that were lying around and slipped them on. She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing tirelessly at herself. There Akane stood, in a red tank top and black shorts, hair down to her shoulders. The cuts on her hands were starting to heal by this point. In other news, there were so many scars that she didn’t even know where to begin. Akane was physically worn, and even if her body was a little fuller than it was weeks ago, she could still see the outline of her spine.

She had another dream last night; one that had reduced her to cold sweat. In the dream, Akane was pressed against the wall, fingers digging into her throat. She remembered that she could not move or break free, no matter how much she struggled. She hadn’t even seen her attacker, and she woke up feeling exhausted. These types of dreams were extremely common to her. After a while, they just became old and boring. Her brain must have not liked her much, if it had been projecting all of that information. Who knows? After all, she was the Ultimate Gymnast, not the Ultimate Cognitive Scientist.

Curious, she lifted her arm and smelled. Then, she recoiled in surprise. Hm, she could have sworn she took a shower. Time was just different now. Being stuck in the killing game had prevented them from having much time to themselves. She hadn’t even known most of her classmates’ names. She practically had to force herself to remember Hajime. It wasn’t her fault he was just so damn plain, or at least that’s how he had seemed at first.

Now everyone was probably meeting up for breakfast. It was one of those traditions that they kept as a group. In a way, it had kept a memorial for the others that were fallen.

Akane sighed, and entered the shower.

**...**

“Akane, you’re late.” Sonia, who was sitting in front of the pool, nearly gasped when she saw her. “But it is ‘hella sweet’ to see you!”

“Hm? You guys should have started without me. I’m fine.”

“Well, since you’re a full two hours late…”

“What the hell? Two hours?!” Akane shook the towel on her shoulders, drying her hair in the process.

“Don’t worry! A plate has been gathered for you!” Sonia smiled and dragged her upstairs. It was amazing how similar the hotel looked to the virtual one. Knowing it was all fake, it make her Akane’s head spin.

When they arrived upstairs, the boys were sitting at the table. They were talking amongst each other, not noticing Akane and Sonia walk in.

Akane paid no heed, and rushed over to her plate. The breakfast was devoured in seconds. It was a pitiful sight to see.

“Hey! Sleeping beauty is up.” Kazuichi said without glancing up. He was working on something small and metallic. Akane narrowed her eyes to see, but ultimately lost interest.

“And about damn time, too.” Fuyuhiko’s eyes appeared absent. They had all since abandoned their now empty plates. Sonia stood just plain confused, Kazuichi looked without sleep, and Hajime writing something down rapidly on a small notepad. Akane squinted, and saw a small object attached to the front of it, like a Bobby pin. She walked over to get a closer look, and froze…

Oh. It was Chiaki’s.

Akane found herself pulling a smile at the sight. How small it was, and how prominent it’s memory had become. One small hair clip in the shape of a spaceship, was more of a scapegoat to the past. No wonder Hajime kept it around.

Akane found a stray rice ball on Kazuichi’s plate. He shouted in defeat, but didn’t try to stop her. He just… was not stopping whatever he was doing . In his hands contained some sort of flash drive.

Akane took a bite out of the rice ball, “Have you guys eaten?” She played coy to Kazuichi’s glare.

“Yeah, of course we fucking ate. We’re just busy.” Fuyuhiko snapped, then realized his temper. “Uh, I mean...thanks for asking.”

“Fuyuhiko is nervous.” said Sonia. “I must admit, I am as well…”

“Yeah, he sure is.” Hajime looked up from the pad, cracking his back.

“I-I’m not fucking nervous, goddamnit.” Fuyuhiko muttered again.

“Don’t worry, Fuyu. I’m like, positive this is gonna work.” Kazuichi tampered a bit with the metal device, and slid it over to Hajime. “What do you think?”

“Really...good. Really good.” Hajime turned the piece around in his hand. He hummed. Fuyuhiko’s knee started bouncing.

Sonia noticed this, “Fuyuhiko, you must drink tea to calm your nerves…”

“I’m fine.” Fuyuhiko said.

“What an absolute lie! Go into the kitchen and fetch yourself some tea at once!” Sonia’s gentle demeanor had changed for the worse, or maybe better. She stood with posture and power, not once cracking a smile. In her eyes, shown kindness and believability.

“Goddamnit, fine! Alright!” Fuyuhiko ran off into the kitchen, breathing deeply. Sonia nodded to herself, and then skipped after him.

Akane frowned, “Can somebody please tell me what’s happenin?”

“Hajime, explain or something!” Kazuichi snatched the piece back. He then brought out another one that was extremely similar. “It’s way too complicated to explain right now! The first developmental stages are the-“

“Wait. What the hell are you talking about?…” She looked over to Hajime who, for the first time in a long time, was smiling. Akane could feel her heartbeat quickening. She couldn’t look away. “I don’t….know what you’re doin.”

“Akane, I think we did it.” Hajime’s smile was special. It was one of those odd events that would occur once in a millennium. Akane felt something hot bloom in her chest. Kazuichi’s sharp grin had finally put the final piece into the puzzle. It was… happening? Maybe? Akane felt floored. She couldn’t speak.

What could she even say?

 

**...**

Wanting so desperately to calm down her nerves, Akane brought back some of her former skills; parkour being one of them. From the use of these said skills, she stood tall on the roof of the supermarket. The wind was moving through her hair. She felt confident, real. She felt…

She honestly didn’t know what to say. She honestly didn’t even understand what Hajime and Kazuichi had done, but she couldn’t even say ‘thank you’ enough. And she hadn’t, not yet.

So she sat down against the gravelly surface, legs kicking at the air around her. Oh, the air, which felt so nice and warm and fresh in the sky. Everything seemed brighter. Everyone seemed hopeful. Even just the small chance of one person waking up, it was enough for her. Akane just wanted to hold onto that feeling forever.

She could almost could see all of their friends standing down below her, talking amongst themselves. To live in a world where no one would die, where no one would chase her, where no one would leave her; it just gave her a slimmer of hope. She had been so overwhelmed that she had ran out of the hotel before anyone could continue further. She just needed to think about it. She just needed to-

“Akane!” The voice of someone she knew appeared from below. She looked down.

“Hajime, what’re you doing?” Akane said, her legs full force into a pendulum swing.

“I’m getting you. We were just about to-“

“But I gotta think! I gotta think by myself to make it real.”

“It’s...already real. Akane, we did it.” Hajime’s spiky hair held back against the tropic breeze. He stood tired, yet confident. His hands were on his hips. He appeared proud of himself, proud of Kazuichi.

“I just…Eh, hold on!” Akane saw just how puny Hajime appeared from this height. She shook her head, lunging herself from the ledge.

“Akane, what the-“ Hajime stepped out of the way before Akane had nearly landed on him.

“Couldn’t hear ya from this far up.” She said.

“Okay, but... don’t go jumping off buildings next time.”

“But I used to jump off buildings all the time! It’s really fun!”

“H-Huh?”

“Y’know, like that city climbing and what not.” Akane itched behind her ear and grinned. “Parchore!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t do parkour when you’re healing. It’s not safe, at least I don’t think so.”

“Ugh, I know my limits! God, you sound just like Ne-“ Akane stopped herself before she said anything more. Quickly, she gathered up her remaining strength and smiled. “Don’t go round callin me weak, Hajime.”

“We’re going to save him too.” Hajime said. Damn him, thought Akane. Always one step ahead of me.

“You better. There’s no way Coach is gonna be stopped from sleeping or whatever. When he comes back, we won’t even be ready for him!”

“Yeah, I’ve missed him.” Hajime smiled. “It’ll be great to have all of them back.”

“Who are we gonna wake up first?”

“Well, uh…” Hajime paused. “The program we created doesn’t really work in that way. You see, it will assign a person based on how physically and emotionally stable they are. If they are well fit, they will therefore, have a greater chance of surviving.”

“Uh…” Akane was dumbfounded.

“You get it?”

“What are you talking about again?”

“You didn’t listen?” Hajime groaned.

“I just don’t get it. Explain again.”

“Basically, whoever is the most healthy and more likely to survive will go first. That’s how we programmed it.” Hajime said.

“I’m...tryin’ to understand.”

Hajime was at a loss of words. “It’s just our way of ensuring that all of them live.”

“That’s a...lot of words that you just said.” Akane really was trying, though sadly she would never succeed.

“Well, we haven’t found our candidate yet, Akane. It could take a while. Maybe a few days at best, months at worst.”

“Months? But we gotta get em out of there now!” Akane gripped Hajime’s shoulders. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! Don’t just stand there…!”

“It won’t be safe! They could easily die without the proper procedure.”

“Heh, don’t you try and talk to me all smart. I know…what you’re doing!”

“...And what is that exactly?”

“You’re trying to…” Akane paused. Hajime stared back. “I...dunno yet. But when I figure it out, I’ll show you!”

“Akane, you don’t have to be so difficult.” Hajime sighed, hand to his brow.

“No, I’m not. I’m not!” Akane so badly longed to swing her arm. She felt the muscles in her arm flex involuntarily. “They just deserve to live.”

“I know.” Hajime said. “...There’s no way we can just ignore it now. Since we woke up, I haven’t had the time to think about anything else. Maybe it’s a bit of an obsession, but still.”

“What?”

“I can’t just forget her. Saving the others, is exactly what she would have wanted.” Hajime brought his arms to cross over his chest. He was refusing to look at Akane in the eyes, and the awkwardness in the air only seemed to thicken.

“Her? Oh, you mean Chiaki.”

“Well, yeah…” Hajime’s face shadowed an expression of hurt. Akane sighed. She wasn’t too good at this. She just couldn’t...She couldn’t…

Akane suddenly smacked her arm down onto Hajime’s shoulder. He stared right back at her, astonished and slightly afraid. It was as if he were afraid she would knock him out. Maybe she would have several years ago, as a high schooler in Hope’s Peak Academy. But she stood her ground, and squeezed his shoulder once.

“I miss her too. She was...”Was all she could say. A faint smile crossed her lips.

“Everything.” Hajime said slowly, “She was everything.”

Sensing the conversation was traveling to forbidden territories, Akane quickly spun it around. “You can’t let that control you! You just gotta keep moving.”

“I know that, Akane. I’m still grieving-“

“Damn that. It’s wrong to let something like that bring ya down.” Akane bit her lip. She could taste blood by that point.

“I can’t forget her. If I forgot about Chiaki, what would be the point?!” Hajime finally snapped, locking eyes with Akane. “I couldn’t save her, even as I watched her die.”

“We all saw her die…”

“No...You don’t understand, Akane. You don’t…” Hajime’s eyes glistened bright. A slight tremor filled Akane’s spine as a sliver of tears hid under his eyes. Hajime looked away. There wasn’t much saving this conversation.

“It ain’t your fault, Hajime. I’m…” Akane breathed out deeply, struggling to keep it together. Above them, the sun was setting behind the stormy clouds. It reminded her too much of her first day “here”.

“You don’t have to apologize. Damn, I shouldn’t have…” Hajime’s lip quivered. Akane had never gotten a sense that there might have been something between Hajime and Chiaki. She was always too caught up in whatever she was eating or fighting. But...man, even to her it was obvious that Hajime still loved her. Thinking of that girl could only damage him more. It hurt to see him this way.

“Hajime, I’ve got ya.” Akane reached out and gripped his hand, mostly for support. She did not blink, staring at him with big, grey eyes. Her expression was intense. Her fist was sweaty and calloused.

For once, the sweet sound of tropical birds and insects was not to be heard. Absolute silence, except for the rumbling of distant thunder, had taken over the peaceful parking lot. Akane pretended to not notice the warm streaks of tears that rolled down Hajime’s cheeks. He stood there, gripping her hand fiercely. Akane smiled weakly. At least he still had his strength left.

Then, the body of Hajime suddenly collapsed into her own. She could feel his head against the crook of her neck. Arms snaked around her sides, and squeezed.

Naturally, she decided to fight back.

“Akane, please…!” Hajime’s cries of pain were stopped by a swift push to the chest.

“What the hell, Hajime!? You trying to cop a feel?” Akane breathed out through her nose loudly. Huh, and what a surprise that was.

“N-No! I was just hugging you.”

This time, Akane was attacked; although it was not physical.“...Huh?”

“I just-I wasn’t ever a hugger or anything, but… after everything-“ Hajime moved away.

“You...hugged me?”

Hajime didn’t respond at first, “I mean, we are friends, and I just-“

“Could you...do it again?”

Hajime couldn’t help but smile slightly at that. “Have you never been hugged before, Akane?” It was more of a pity smile. She frowned, feeling heat rush up to her cheeks.

“Just do it, before I change my mind.” Akane watched as Hajime slowly slickered up to her, and naturally pulled her into a friendly hug. Akane, being slightly taller, let her head rest onto his. That stupid spike of hair had poked her in the nose, and she grunted with surprise.

Still, it was so warm against the chilling winds. The feeling of the sudden sense of...belonging seemed to ooze in the atmosphere. Time had stopped. Dried tears were left on her shoulder, where Hajime rested. She let out a deep sigh of relief. Neither of them spoke.

Yeah, she was going to have to get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is where things get crazy!!!!!!!


	4. A Broken Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> family drama ensues. felt pretty uncomfortable writing this, because...you know.

Akane was running, and she was running fast.

Through cold streets and icy rain, she escaped her pursuers with almost cat-like grace. The raindrops that fell down her skin did not matter as she escaped. The roar of rolling thunder guided her to safety. A few stray dogs barked at her from where she passed them. Not many people were around, and this was the perfect time for a little game of tag.

Quickly glancing behind her shoulders, Akane picked up speed. The food packed inside her shirt almost fell out, and she rushed to pick it up again. A sturdy set of adult footsteps resonated behind her, and she pushed herself to the limit, forcing herself to never give up. Her legs picked up the pace, and she almost screamed when she came close to a dead end.

She had hid into an empty alley, and with her pursuer behind her, she had to act fast. Seeing a simple ladder mounted on the brick wall to what looked like a restaurant, Akane ran to it.

Climbing the jagged ladder out of an alleyway, Akane looked behind her. A strange man followed her, limping at the side, from the blow to the hip she had inflicted earlier.Nevertheless, he was not giving up. A sick groan escaped from his lips. He cursed at her, struggling to walk to the ladder.

Akane just smirked in response. The wrong types of people hung out at the old diner. It wasn’t her fault she was being sought after. Maybe it was her fault that she had stolen some table scraps, and he had seen her do so. She sighed while she leaned on the ladder, long hair cascading downward. This type of game happened all the time. It was fun being able to test her abilities. She thought of it as a dangerous form of Cat and Mouse.

“You b-bitch!...” The drunken man started to wobble in his tracks. His eyes were half lidded, and he looked sleep deprived. Akane stared back without saying a word, and quickly climbed up the ladder.

His cries of frustration echoed over near where she stood on the roof. Rain was falling hard and fast now, and it was hard to make out where she would be going. Stubbornly, she stayed put to see out the end of the storm. Every few minutes, she looked over to the ladder, to check if the man would continue to follow. After close inspection, he was not going to peruse her any time soon. He lay passed out on the wet ground. Akane huffed, and climbed down the ladder again.

Beside him, was what was interesting: two small garbage cans filled recently. She ran over and peered inside. One was topped with orange peels and cans. The other had actual food in it. Of course, this food was either half eaten or stale. But Akane didn’t mind.

Taking everything she could and stuffing it down her shirt, Akane left the alleyway with the man lying inside it. Then, she started her journey home.

**...**

 

“Akane, what’d you get this time?” Ume nearly jumped up and down when she got home. “Huh, huh, huh?!”

“What about the tips?’ asked Satoshi.

“And the gross, old dude? What about him?” Haruo rocked back and forth at the kitchen table. Miraculously, the table was still standing, even after her mother’s friends had nearly busted it from laughing so hard a few weeks ago.

“Did you get candy?” Miki smiled.

“Too many questions, you guys.” Akane shook her head and unbuttoned the first few buttons of her top, freeing the food from inside, A couple soft fruits, a bag of stale chips, and a decent looking granola bar fell out. “Here’s what I got!”

“Wow, this is way better than last time!” Haruo instantly ripped into the bag of chips.

“Hey, Haruo. Why don’t you just share already?!” Ume snapped.

“Aw, what?” Haruo frowned dramatically and sighed.

“She’s right. Let’s split it up, okay?” Akane carefully divided the food into portions for the four of them, only leaving a slither of fruit for herself. Her stomach didn’t even care when she finally ate it. She was still starving, but she still had to hold on. Just for a little bit longer. She just had to-

“What about mama? Will she get some?” Miki asked meekly.

Akane almost wanted to say no, but held her ground. “Yeah, I’ll give her some later.”

“But she’s not even home right now.” Satoshi sat with his hands crossed. He looked like a tiny adult, glasses crooked yet still containing power.

“What?” Akane felt anger rising up into her throat like bile. “She just left you all alone?”

“She said she had to meet someone!” Ume said. “Could it be daddy?”

Akane didn't respond for a while. She was too deep in thought. No, their father had been gone for a while. Akane was starting to doubt that he was ever coming back. “When...all of you finish eating, go straight to your room.”

“Aw, but why?” Haruo and Miki said in unison.

“Because I said so. I don’t-” Akane bit her cheek, “Now’s the time for bed, anyways.”

Satoshi saw straight through her lie. “Yeah, come on, guys.” They had eaten everything they had, and slowly left off of the table. The thunderstorm raged outside, and Miki quivered in fear as she shuffled away with the others. Akane breathed a sigh of relief.

“You’re just being bossy.” Ume sneered as the four walked down the hallway.

“No, I’m the oldest.” Satoshi pushed up his glasses, “That’s just how the oldest acts.”

“Yeah, whatever you say, Bossypants.” Ume giggled along with Haruo.

“B-Bossypants?” Satoshi quivered in shame as he began to shuffle down the hallway.

“Yeah, you’re a-“ Ume was stopped by her big sister’s petrifying glare. “Oops. Sorry.”

Watching them disappear down into their shared room, Akane heard the lemon car rumble weakly in the driveway. Two voices rose up above the noise; a male’s and a female’s. She ran into the hallway, and disappeared into the bathroom, hearing the scene unfold.

One was unmistakably, her mother’s. Her sighs of pleasure and drug induced feverness proved almost too accurately. The other was some man she had never heard before. He was probably old news, to be thrown out the next day. For now, they didn’t seem to mind waking up the whole neighborhood with what they did. And what they would do, exactly...Akane did not know entirely for sure, but the idea was there alone.

Akane did know one thing, and that was that she was extremely uncomfortable. It was an unpleasant experience, and listening to it was torture enough. She wondered about her siblings. They wouldn’t have to see their mother being...well, you know. That was good enough for Akane.

Faster than expected, the disgusting session between the two had come to an end. She heard a few, raw words of ecstasy, and then they softened into a blissful silence that Akane adored.

Stepping out into the hallway, Akane saw the sweaty naked bodies of her mother and a strange man she had not seen. He was rather scary looking, but luckily he was fast asleep on the couch. Akane didn’t want to continue staring, so she left to her siblings.

When she walked into the room, most of them were asleep. Everyone crawled out in a perfect circle around the mat. Satoshi sat awake, however.

“Did...mom...just do it?” Satoshi asked wearily. Akane nodded, and he groaned with disgust. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“No, Satoshi. You gotta save your strength for tomorrow.” Akane kneeled beside him and brushed his curly hair with her fingers. He relaxed into her touch, ever so slightly.

“Akane,I can't wait until we get out of here.”

“Me too.” Akane replied, settling into the flat mattress.

“How much money do...we have?”

“Hey, I told ya not to worry about that stuff.” Akane said, “It’ll be fine.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“You don’t gotta say sorry, either.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Akane sighed deeply, and noticed a small area of her leg that was in pain. She hadn’t noticed it before. It was a small, red cut on the back of her thigh. Must have been from when she climbed up the ladder. It must have stuck her at some point.

“Are you hurt, Akane?”

“...No. Just an itch.” She smiled.

**...**

Akane awoke to the smell of morning dew sitting on the cracked window of the room. There also an almost unbelievable noise that had called her awake, chasing any sleepiness that could have remained. Akane had heard a scream.

Rushing out of bed, from the bedroom which her siblings were not there, made her even more frightened. Frantic like a cornered animal, Akane ran out in the hallway, panting even with breath in her lungs.

The scene in the kitchen, was something out of her nightmares.

There in the center of the floor, lay Ume bleeding at the mouth, unconscious. A tooth was a couple feet from her face. The man standing near her was fully clothed now, but Akane recognized him easily as the man from the night before; the man her mother brought home. Drops of blood dripped from his closed fist. He appeared disorientated, beer bubbling out of his mouth, not unlike a dog with rabies.

In an instant, Akane saw nothing but red. Red, red, red, red-

She was on the man before he could understand the situation. Fist after fist after fist colliding hard against his cheeks. A couple yells of distraught followed her actions, but she did not waver. Akane laid one punch after kick after punch onto the man, until-

“Akane!” A woman’s hands had pulled her away from the man, who was unconscious as well. “What are you doing?!”

Akane only let out an animalistic growl in response, and pushed herself out of the woman’s hold. She was back on the man, delivering a swift kick to the rib cage. She heard a deafening crack, which had never sounded better.

“Akane, stop!” The woman, whom Akane had recognized as her mother, had swiftly slapped her across the face. Akane blinked a couple times, and felt the red spot on her cheek.

“Look what- Look what you made me do to you, Akane…” Her mother backed away from her, afraid and cautious. Behind her, the three other siblings stood and watched in awe.

“Mom, I-“

“No. Don’t even go there.” Her mother said, “You have done enough.”

Akane knelt beside the body of Ume. She was still breathing, thank god. “Then what about Ume? She deserved to get hurt?!”

“I wasn’t saying that. But you should know better than to just...attack Masuyo.”

“This one has a name?” Akane sneered, “I could care less about him. He deserves to die.”

“Akane, what has happened to you? You’re…” Her mother started pacing around the puddle of blood in the kitchen. She appeared slightly hungover from yesterday. She swayed slightly while she struggled to walk among the blood puddle. “You've become a monster.”

“Your boyfriend could have killed Ume! How are you so damn stupid!?” The urge to punch her mother got stronger and stronger. It was a forbidden action, and it seemed ever so tempting.

“Get out.” Akane’s mother said. “I don’t want to see you here.”

“No. I gotta take care of-“

“This is as hard for me as it is for you, but I can’t let you harm him. It was just an accident, is all.” Her mother sat beside Maysuyo, and touched his face gingerly.

Akane directly ignored her, picking up the limp body of her sister, and walking down the halls. Akane’s arms were tingling, the urge to actually end the life of that man still lingered in her mind. She couldn’t...It wasn’t like her...But still, it was there.

As she set down Ume, the others crowded around her. They began to whisper among themselves. Akane wished that a door hung in the frame, but that was a wish she decided not to give a second thought. What mattered most was Ume to be safe away from that man, and her mother’s words. The girl’s nose still looked to be bleeding, but not broken. One of her front teeth was gone, and the bruise on her chin got worse and worse.

“Go get a towel, Miki.” Akane said, “Satoshi and Haruo, grab everything you can find in the bathroom.”

“Will...Will she be okay?” Miki asked.

“Just go bring the towel, Miki.” Akane turned away from them, and began to touch Ume’s pale face. Akane’s own cheek was still stinging, and she had to shake herself out of the shock of it all. Never in all her life had she been hit by any of her parents. This was...new to her. She wasn’t sure what to do about it.

Without another word, Miki and the other two ran away, leaving Akane in total silence. She could hear the man in the kitchen groan about the room, waking up. Her mother let out coos of concern for his well being. Akane felt sick, and gripped onto Ume’s smaller hand for support. Akane felt her heartbeat quicken not unlike the wings of a hummingbird. Her chest felt as if it were about to give out. Her fingers...were shaking. She couldn’t take it anymore. Every single day in this place was hell, and it only made her siblings’ lives worse, and-

She needed to get out. They couldn’t try to wait anymore. They had to leave.

Akane bit her hand to stop herself from crying. She could not cry. Dare she let out tears of weakness, she would never forgive herself. Even as the mark on her cheek stayed longer than usual, even as her mother worked herself over the man, even as Ume lay unconscious and puny, Akane would never become weak. That was all she could muster, and that was all she could give.


	5. Second Chance, Miss Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first non survivor wakes up! Judging by the name of the chapter, I'm sure you'll know who it is.

“So...are you sure this is the one, Hajime?” Kazuichi asked. All five of them stood at the pod, staring blankly at the one who lay still and asleep. In spite of everything, Mikan Tsumiki was peaceful in her dreams. She was even smiling.

Hajime looked down at the notebook in his hands. There seemed to be a list on it. “This is who the program picked. I mean, it is your program-“

“Well, shit! Don’t try to pin it on me!” Kazuichi walked nervously over to the monitor, and plugged the small device into the mainframe. A small text appeared on the screen, and Hajime went over to try and help him.

Mikan Tsumiki, the murderer of Hiyoko Saionji and Ibuki Mioda, was about to be awoken. Of course, she was just corrupted by despair when she had done so. But still, with the memory of her screaming in pure fury still fresh in their minds, Akane understood the others’ hesitation. However, the Mikan she knew wasn’t a monster. In fact, she was extremely weak. A fragile flower that would be crushed by the smallest drop of rain. Mikan had stayed by her side when she was sick, and had patched her up from numerous scraps. It just wouldn’t be fair to just do nothing now, at her most vulnerable moment.

Akane sighed, pushing ahead of the others. “C’mon. Let’s wake her up already.”

“Not so fast, Akane. We must figure if it is safe to pass.” Sonia held her arm to stop her. Akane glared back, desperate to get away.

“She’s right, she’s right.” Fuyuhiko stood with his hands delved into his pockets. He appeared slightly more dressed up than usual, actually putting on a suit this time. “We just gotta...Do whatever you guys do.” He gestured to Hajime and Kazuichi, and sat down kneeled beside Mikan’s sleeping pod.

“Look, uh. You know, I’m not like some fucking computer genius or something. Not even I’m sure this gonna work.” Kazuichi scratched his head. It was still so strange to see no strands of artificially colored hair peeking out from under his beanie. Now, he seemed to hide his hair, rather than force his style in other people’s faces.

“Well, by God, we have to try!” Sonia strolled over to Hajime with all the power in the world, and place both hands daintily in her lap as she stood. “Hajime, whenever you are ready.”

“Y-Yeah…” Hajime noticeably swallowed and with shaky hands, typed a few code words and plugged the small flash drive into the USB.

It was an excruciating couple of minutes. They dragged by without mercy, taking the energy out the room. A few beeps of confirmation blipped on the screen. A wall of text scrolled down without Hajime’s help. Kazuichi jumped in surprise, biting his fingernails.Fuyuhiko straightened his tie, Sonia bowed her head, Akane stood shaking in her shoes. The cold air shook all of them still, forbidding any actions between them.

Akane rubbed her arms against the hem of her shirt. She could feel the throbbing heartbeat from under her ribs. She was so itchy, and she didn’t know why.

A few more minutes passed. Nothing but the sound of Hajime’s newfound computer skills remained present. Since the switch between Izuru Kamukura and Hajime Hinata, a few traits had remained. Programming being one of them.

“Ugh, it’s taking too long…” Akane began to pace.

“Just...Just quit being so damn high strung.” Fuyuhiko muttered. “Or else, I might fucking lose it.”

“What if...she remains fucking crazy?” asked Kazuichi.

“You should not doubt our friend, Kazuichi.” Sonia replied rather quickly, and turned to Mikan. Hajime remained vigilant beside the monitor.

“M-Miss Sonia...Looks like I can’t ever win with you, huh?” His reply went unnoticed in the dark. No one seemed to notice. Kazuichi groaned and put a hand to his forehead, muttering a simple “dammit.”

Hajime almost leapt backward when a single sentence appeared on the screen. It was lime green, and shining brightly.

**YOUR ATTEMPT TO BRING A PATIENT OUT OF STASIS WAS A SUCCESS. THANK YOU FOR COOPERATING. : )**

Seeing that text had made the room go still. There they stood, barely able to comprehend the meaning behind it all.

“Oh, thank god.” Hajime’s entire body shook with relief, and he smiled the brightest smile Akane had seen him wear.

The next minute was full of cheers and sounds of victory. Everything was beautiful, amazing, wonderful. The program had worked, and Akane almost felt as if she were walking on the clouds. The small chance that Hajime had taken...it had paid off. For the first time in a long time, Akane felt joy.

“Rejoice!” Sonia shouted with full attention. “Hajime, you’ve saved them all!” She was crying, eyes damp with happiness. In a frenzy, Sonia wrapped her arms around both Fuyuhiko and Akane. Tears were streaming down onto Akane’s shirt. She didn’t mind at all.

Kazuichi was still grinning, although slightly down. “I...uh, helped with the program too…”

His comment went ignored over the steady rise and fall of exclaims of all of his friends. Even Fuyuhiko was beaming from ear to ear, laughing without a care in the world. Everything was fine. For once, hope was legitimate. And because of the excitement and the small party beginning to emanate, a small voice rose barely above the others.

“H-Hajime? I-I....” And there she was, sitting up, clutching her knees and shaking. Mikan’s skin was pale, and her hair was tattered. A faint blush was apparent on her cheeks. Most importantly, the stutter was back. “Fuyuhiko, K-Kazuichi, S-Sonia, Akane….”

“Mikan, just try to calm down. You’ll...you’ll be okay.” Fuyuhiko kneeled down next to her, gentler than usual. He reassured her with a kind smile. Mikan was seeming to grasp what was even happening to her.

“W-Where is...M-Monokuma? T-The o-others?”

“Monokuma isn’t...here anymore.” Hajime pressed. “And the others…”

Mikan’s facial expression started to change, as if she recalled something drastic. “O-Oh…I...I remember.” Her eyes became wet, and she squeezed them shut and cried. She cried and cried and cried. Perhaps it was the memories that had flooded back, of a hanging Ibuki and a bleeding Hiyoko. Perhaps, it was the situations she had endured, of all the abbreant acts she had put her through. But no matter the issue, Mikan sobbed by herself for a long time, muttering to herself obscenities and shameful words.

“So I’m guessing she isn’t psycho anymore.” Kazuichi said.

“Shut it.” Fuyuhiko snapped.

“Sweet Mikan…” Sonia pressed a hand on her back. “You’re safe now. You will be okay.”

So they waited along with Mikan, grateful for the time they had. Akane could feel the tenseness in the room fall away as the tears subsided, both happy and sad. Slowly, she released her fist, and kneeled down beside Mikan as she sat with her hands on her eyes. Kazuichi leaned back against the monitor and sighed, a content grin resting on his face.

**...**

 

“W-Wh-What I did to them…? Please, don’t s-say it actually happened!” Mikan was shaking by the time they all had dragged her to the hotel. She had asked questions, though she seemed to not want the answers to them. Akane noticed that Mikan bore a cold sweat. Interesting, that the nurse had seemed to be sick.

“Remember? We told you about the program?” Kazuichi said.

“I-I’m sorry, I must have forgotten. Pl-Please don’t be mad at me.”

“You don’t gotta say sorry all the time. Things are different now.” Akane crossed her arms onto the dining table.

“I-I’m s-sorry…”

“Mikan, please.” Sonia affirmed her. “When they wake up, I know...well, I know Ibuki won’t be that angry.”

“Sure, yeah! Just listen to Miss Sonia.” Kazuichi grinned.

“She did murder the both of em, though.” Fuyuhiko said. He wasn’t smiling or even trying to be rough. In fact, he was wearing a mask of intelligence and serenity.

“I-I know! Th-That was s-so horrible of m-me!” Mikan teared up again, much to the table’s disapproval.

“Fuyu, that is not what she wants to hear.” Sonia gasped with horror, and turned her shoulder to him. Hajime had recently gone into the kitchen area, to fetch snacks of nutiential value. Since Mikan had looked almost dead, that was a good choice on his part. Akane didn’t really want to admit it, but her stomach was rumbling as well.

“I’m just saying that we can’t just ignore what she did.” Fuyuhiko looked directly at Mikan. She shrunk underneath his gaze. “I’m sorry, Mikan.”

“N-No...you’re right.” Mikan said, “What I d-did was unforgivable, and I need to be punished.”

“So what kind of punishment are we talking about?” For a few sick moments, Kazuichi let out a sly grin.

“Y-You are f-free to draw on me, or cut my hair-“

“That will not be necessary!” Sonia affirmed.

“W-What?”

“We all fucked up, and we’re trying to get better. Ain’t that right, Sonia?” Fuyuhiko leaned on the table, sighing deeply.

“Yes, Fuyu...I don’t think dwelling on our pasts will make the situation better.” Sonia said.

“B-But what happens to H-Hiyoko and Ibuki…? If-If I really was in a computer program...and you d-did really wake me u-up…”

“Then were obviously gonna bring em back! It’s this really sweet tech Hajime made!” Akane noticed Kazuichi’s sunken frown. “Oh yeah, Kazuichi helped too.”

Kazuichi was extremely grateful for the attention. “Hell yeah, I did! It’s like, super complicated.”

“I’ll do everything I c-can...to bring them back.” Mikan said, her lips turned downwards. “This-This is what I need to do.”

“Well, yeah. Good for you.” Fuyuhiko muttered. “I’m the same way, with...Peko.”

Sonia spoke slowly, “And I with Gundham. I feel as if I never got to truly say goodbye.” Kazuichi grimaced a little, oblivious to Sonia.

Akane’s fingers twitched at the mention of his name. She couldn’t help it, no matter his reason. She didn’t say anything more, silently trying to dull down her intense feelings. It wasn’t that she hated Gundham. It wasn’t. If Nekomaru hadn’t died, (for the second time) then Gundham would have been the victim. In times like those, Gundham and Nekomaru had saved everyone’s lives.

Yet, it still hurt. And it still was hard to understand why he had to leave her twice, once as a man, once as a machine.

Mikan smiled meekly, overcome with heavy emotions. A small track of dried tears stayed on her cheeks. “But...what about C-Chiaki? I never saw a pod for h-her, not like the others.”

A moment of hesitation fell on the group. No one knew what to say. Perhaps she did not remember the real Chiaki?

“Oh, shit.” Kazuichi said. “Guys, what do we tell her?” Sonia, Fuyuhiko, and Akane all exchanged looks of bewilderment. Just then, Hajime walked into the room, holding a large tray of breakfast items. It was the perfect storm.

“Okay, Mikan. I uh, don’t really know what you like...so I got you everything I could grab.” Hajime set down the tray in front of Mikan. Akane had to resist jumping in front of her and gobbling the delicious meal. Rice balls, miso soup, sunny-side eggs, and one piece of toast all sat in front of Mikan.

“M-My goodness, Hajime.” Mikan blushed, “Pl-Please don’t say th-this is all f-for me…?”

“Well, yeah. Of course it is.” Hajime smiled. Man, if Mikan wasn’t gonna eat it...then…

“Thank you…! It’s j-just I haven’t eaten this much before…” Mikan looked down at her lap.

“For a nurse, you’re not that healthy. Come on! Just dig in!” Akane lost it, cheering her on.

“O-Oh, I’m sorry, Akane. Please f-forgive me!” Mikan squealed. Luckily, Hiyoko wasn’t here to call her a whore pig. But that didn’t mean Hiyoko wasn’t missed.

“Oh, great.” Fuyuhiko put his head in his hands.

“Please, Mikan.” Sonia added, “We just want you to charge life headfirst!”

“And uh, eat your food before I do.” Akane said, grinning despite the rumbling in her stomach becoming too unbearable to ignore. “Screw it! I gotta go eat something.” Without a second glance, Akane ran to the pantry and brought out a single bag of chips.

When she came back, Mikan was slowly starting to eat around her plate. She even looked innocent while doing so. A small, shy smile was playing on her lips. The others talked amongst themselves, happy and content. It was a good day.

Still, the question Mikan had asked earlier still hung heavy in the air. Even if they answered her correctly, it would take a while for the poor girl to begin to understand. She was still shocked about the disappearance of Gundham, Nekomaru, and Komaeda. Not to mention Chiaki...It wouldn’t be fair to push all of it on her at once. Even Akane, months later, wasn’t sure if all of this was real. There was still the doubting left in her mind. There were still things she was trying hard to figure out. Sometimes, she would hold the sand in her palms and wonder if it would truly go away. If she blinked hard enough, she would just go back home, to her siblings. And then, they would be safe again.

If only that were possible. If only she could just go back.


	6. Gravely Mistaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane throws hands with her mother. This chapter might be a lil shorter than the others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you ever just.........wait i forgot what i was about to say wth.

It seemed like hours waiting by Ume’s body. Many times, Akane wished to leave and run around, maybe throw something. She knew having patience was necessary for the situation, but the longer she had to sit and watch, the more she longed to do something drastic. Wiping off the blood had been an experience to remember, having found a broken nose besides just the missing tooth. If Ume wouldn’t end up having a concussion, then it might have lightened Akane’s load.

Outside the room, the man from before sat, cradling a bag of ice over his cheek. From what little Akane had noticed, the man was nearly unrecognizable. Despite his current state, Akane did not feel anything close to remorse. In this world, people died like flies. Dead bodies were the norm for her. However, she would never allow her siblings to become one of them. That man had been a threat. She had simply tried to dispose of him.

“Akane, I brought all the bathroom stuff.” Haruo was holding several items in his shirt, and he released it on the floor. Most of these were either soaps or bottles of liquid. One of them being an actual bottle of vodka. Akane sighed, knowing her father had probably put it in there. She picked it up, setting it beside the sleeping Miki.

“...Haruo, Satoshi, why did this happen?”

“U-Um, I was asleep. I didn’t know.” Haruo spoke, “But Satoshi was there. He should know everything.”

Akane looked at Satoshi with anticipation. He stammered, desperate to find words. “Y-You know how Ume gets all hyper? Well...She was the first to wake up, and she went to the kitchen.”

Akane nodded for him to continue. Satoshi sighed, “And um, I remember her getting all excited about something. The man was right at the table, and…”

Satoshi sighed deeply. “I think he got annoyed by her. That’s when he started yelling, real loud.” Satoshi paused to collect his thoughts. “She yelled back at him. I couldn’t find Momma, and-“

Haruo butted in, “That’s when he kicked her, I heard. He knocked her to the floor, and kept hitting her-“

“That’s enough.” Akane said. Her hands were shaking violently. She struggled to keep herself together for the lil ones.

“Akane…?”

“I...I can’t believe I didn’t stop it.” She muttered, gripping into her shirt.

“But you were asleep. You didn’t know!” Satoshi said.

“Then why didn’t any of you wake me up?” Akane hated feeling this way, angry at no one but herself. She couldn’t help the words that came out of her mouth, dripping with toxin. “Damn it, why didn’t you?!” Beside her, Miki started to stir awake.

“I-I…” Satoshi stammered, unsure what to say. Haruo didn’t say anything at all.

“I...I could have helped her.”

“Akane, I’m sorry…I didn’t know what to d-do.” Satoshi looked at the floor.

Akane breathed in deeply, attempting to cover up frustration. “You...shouldn’t be sorry. It’s not your fault, you know.”

“We’ll wake you up next time.” Haruo smiled.

“No. It’s not your job to do that, and it’s not your fault.” Akane said.

Satoshi glanced up at her again. “Akane…?”

“I’m fine. I’m...okay.” Akane looked the stirring Miki, and the unconscious Ume. How innocent they were, especially as they slept. “I’m just...sorry.”

“Akane, you don’t hafta be sorry!” Haruo boomed a bit too loud, “It’s that gross man’s fault, not yours.”

“I shoulda been there for you guys.” Akane affirmed, mostly to herself than her brothers.

“Akane, you saved her. Ume might have...died, but you saved her.” Satoshi said.

“I should have killed him.” Akane growled. “That bastard doesn’t deserve to even breathe.”

“Akane!”

“But then you’d go to jail or something. We’d never see you ever again!” Haruo’s eyes glistened, and Akane took both him and Satoshi into her chest. She cradled them for the longest time, fighting off her own tears that threatened to slip.

“Akane…” Satoshi murmured. “It’s okay, Akane.”

“No, it’s n-not.” She stuttered again, feeling her weakness beneath her facade.

“But, Akane, we love you.” Haruo sighed, feeling the softness of his sister’s chest. He nuzzled against her shoulder, exhausted. “And I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“You’re right. I gotta...I gotta just…” Akane mumbled. “I gotta get stronger for you guys.”

“Akane, stop pushing yourself. You just gotta calm down…” Satoshi laid a small hand on Akane’s knee.

“How can I even relax when Ume almost died? How c-can I?”

“I guess when she puts it like that, she can’t relax, Satoshi.”

“I just meant…! Oh, forget it.” Satoshi sighed heavily, flinging his arms up. “Ume is alive because of you. You have to stop blaming yourself for everything!”

“Yeah, he’s right.” Haruo chimed in.

“Lil ones, I-” Akane’s voice broke. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t keep hiding her emotions like this. Yet, she still held on, not allowing one single tear to drop. She kept this up until Haruo and Satoshi fell asleep, pushed against her in the early afternoon glow. Afterwards, her mind wouldn’t stop spinning. It was untamed and wild and just plain unfair. The way the world worked, it just wasn’t fair.

Yet, she wouldn’t forget what Satoshi had said. Maybe she was pushing herself too far, to the point of herself almost collapsing. Akane had never done something as drastic as nearly killing a man before today. Then again, her reasoning was pretty solid. Ume’s life had almost been taken away, and Akane had seen nothing but red.

In the world she and her siblings lived in, there was no such thing as “calming down.”

 

**...**

 

Ume woke up crying. She wouldn’t stop commenting on the pain. That alone was the most horrible part of the experience; trying so hard to calm down the poor girl, after all she had been through. She would scream, “It hurts, Akane! It hurts!” Keeping her act together after that had been the most difficult task of all, especially after seeing the injuries. Bruises littered her face and sides. A black eye was starting to form. Thank god the tooth she had lost was just a baby tooth, or else that would have been permanent.

Akane had never felt weaker than she had in that moment.

Apparently the man was gone, judging by their mother who stood in the doorway. She donned a gaze of concern for one daughter, and only disdain for the other. Her mother knelt down beside Ume, whispering encouragement to her, and crying for her safety. Akane had said nothing, only glaring at her mother’s crouched over form, hoping she would leave as soon as necessary.

But she didn’t.

“Ume, h-how does your cheek feel? Perhaps I should apply a gauze.” Their mother looked at Ume’s different bruises, carefully picking her up.

“Momma, I-” Ume coughed. Akane hadn’t noticed before, but her sister’s throat had been bruised as well. For god’s sake, where did the man not harm her?

“No, baby. I’ll help you.” Her mother had gotten to work, shakily applying whatever she could find to the child’s face. Akane had remembered her mother’s past experience as a small time nurse. She was pretty decent at her job, from what she recalled. Too bad she was fired. “There. You should be fine now.”

“I-It still h-hurts.” Ume whimpered. “It makes it all bubbly and stuff.”

“That just means it’s healing, dear.” Her mother slowly placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Now, get better. I wouldn’t want anything worse to happen to you.”

“Then maybe don’t invite any more guys.” Akane couldn’t help herself when those words spilled. Just like that, they were out in the open, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it. All of her siblings stared in nervous anticipation.

“I don’t have time for you, Akane.”

“But you had time for him, huh?” Akane couldn’t help but hiss about the mention of that man. The man who had harmed her small sister. The thought of his crooked teeth haunted her mind. His stench, the way he walked and spoke; it was all fucking disgusting.

“You just don’t get the sacrifice I made for all of you.” Her mother spat. “You’d be worse off without me here.”

“Without you, Ume wouldn’t have gotten hurt!” Akane screamed, standing up to face her mother.

“I think you f-forgot that I didn’t want him to do that, Akane.” Her mother met her in the eyes, her own height coming under a few centimeters below Akane. Akane could see the fury in her expression the moment she had spoken those words. Her thin lips were curled into a scowl, her skin paler than Akane’s.

“You shoulda have known. You don’t get to just s-say that!” Akane’s fists felt as if they were burning. They were burning to destroy something, to send someone or something flying backward into oblivion.

“I don’t even remember the night with him? How am I supposed-”

“Just shut the hell up! You don’t even know our family!” Akane seethed, “Who’s the one working two jobs just to feed them for one day?!”

“Akane…”

“Who’s the one risking her own life just to make sure they’re safe?!” Akane could feel her grip on reality become slower and slower. And yet, everything was moving way too fast. She could barely see her mother’s troubled expression through the blur of her eyesight. Wait. Why were her eyes blurring?

“Akane…!”

“You’ve added nothing to this family! Nothing!” Akane could barely stop the fist that surged forward, right below her mother’s rib cage. It had happened too quickly, without anyone noticing, except Satoshi. Quickly he ran up in between them, and reached up to stop her fist.

There, she felt her hand meet a smaller, softer one. She looked down, afraid.

“Akane, stop it! Just stop!” Satoshi’s eyes were wild, and he was almost close to tears. Miki clung to his shirt. Haruo stared in disbelief at the sight he had just seen.

“...Huh?” Akane could only mutter the smallest sound imaginable.

“You have to stop fighting all the time. Please.” Satoshi broke down, looking Akane right in the eye. “Please, just stop.”

“I…” Akane could only make a few sounds in response.

Her mother scowled with incredulity. “I can’t believe you would do that, Akane. To hit your own mother…? I just-I just can’t believe that.”

“I...I didn’t realize.” Akane murmured. She simply didn’t know what to do. Her hands moved around each other, searching for something.

“That excuse won’t work on me anymore. You’ve just become feral.” Her mother walked over to Ume, and grabbed the almost empty bottle of Vodka. There, she took a long swig. “You’ve given me nothing but trouble, you know.”

“Mother…” Akane wanted to apologize, but her gut screamed at her to remain untouchable. So she did. She stood with her head bowed.Her hands went straight to her sides.

“You’re...a criminal in the making.” Her mother’s words were poison, dripping down Akane’s spine. She squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to close off anything she could. Just go away, go away, go away, go away-

“A-Akane” Haruo called to her. Her eyes snapped back open.

“...Haruo?”

“What are-What’re you doin?”

“I was just…” Akane looked around the room. Her mother had indeed disappeared, and her siblings the only ones that remained. Miki looked as if she wanted to cry, her lip quivering. It must had been an upsetting sight for them. Immediately, Akane felt shame leaking out of every pore of her being. It was hot, boiling shame. It only made her want to hide.

Slowly, she sat bat down with the rest of them. Ume was extremely tired, but still held on. She closed her eyes, trying to pinch off the pain. Akane gently held her hand, silently asking her for forgiveness. Ume squeezed back.

“Why- Why did you wanna hit Mommy?” Miki asked.

“I uh, I didn’t realize it.” Akane admitted. “I didn’t wanna, I just-”

“She had a fit of rage. It’s okay, I have those all the time.” Haruo beamed. “It’s okay. I know Momma won’t be mad at you long.”

Satoshi raised his brow. “I don’t think Akane and Momma have ever gotten along.”

“Man, this Momma is so much different than our last one, huh?” Haruo said.

“This Momma is good at helping us after we get hurt…” Miki supplied. “She isn’t that good at making us food though…”

“Or picking boyfriends!”

They kept talking, and talking. Akane laid down against the flat carpet. The uneven floorboards bothered her as she tried to doze off, and eventually she gave up. So she decided to lean against the wall, head turned towards her lap. She heard the soft snores of Ume, and let out a small sigh of contentment.

After a while, she felt the bodies of Satoshi, Haruo, and Miki gather on top of her. There were few words spoken, the sun was ready to set, and the night would soon come. Satoshi’s cheeks were now dry, much to Akane’s alleviation. The sound of frogs croaking from the open windows had mean that the sky was getting darker and darker. At the edge of the countryside, Akane and her siblings were barely safe, if only for the moment.

As long as the crickets sang, they would have complacent dreams.


	7. The Tip of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's favorite sword wielding bodyguard wakes up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE HIT DOUBLE DIGITS IN THE KUDOS DEPARTMENT! woo!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad!!!!!!! thank you guys for the support!

The following weeks were silent. News of the next waking student would have to wait, because of Mikan’s own troubles as she began to adjust to their own society. Of course, living on an island hypothetically with 15 other people would need to have its own set of ground rules. Akane had seen Kazuichi nailing a simple board to the side of the hotel one afternoon. When she had walked closer to inspect it, she had found only a few columns written into it.

**AS FORMER REMNANTS OF DESPAIR, WE MUST STRIVE FORWARD TO FIND A BRIGHTER FUTURE TOGETHER.**

**1.**   **No one must succumb to despair. Doing so destroys the reason we survive.**  
**2.Helping around Jabberwock Island’s first island is appreciated. Especially cleaning up in the kitchen or otherwise.**  
**3.No littering!**  
**4**. **Other than this, feel free to do whatever you please.**

“First island?” Akane had blurted out before she realized it. Kazuichi recoiled back from the sudden noise, hands gripping onto his beanie for support.

“AH, FUCKING SHIT!” Kazuichi had leapt at least a few feet in front of her. Akane was sort of impressed, hands to her hips. She smirked at him, trying to appear friendly. She...still needed to work on that, the friendly approach and all.

Akane grinned. “Did I scare ya? Whoops, must be because I’m barefoot or something. That way I can sneak around!”

“Why-Why the hell are you barefoot when you could like, burn your feet?” Kazuchi groaned.

“I dunno. Hey, what are you nailing?” Akane was starting to lose interest, and she needed someone or something to regain her energy back. Kazuichi, as high maintenance as he was, was not her ideal choice.

“...Hajime wanted this up, and I don’t blame him. It’s not too shabby to have some rules around this dump.” Kazuichi scratched his neck. Everything he said from this point became melted to Akane’s ears. After all, she hadn’t eaten since the day before.

“Uh-huh…” Akane was already gone, leaving the bewildered Kazuichi to continue his manual labor.

“Wait up, Akane! I, uh-” Kazuichi had to physically stop Akane in her tracks, grinding her to a stop. “Have you, uh, seen Miss Sonia anywhere?”

Of course he would ask that. Even after everything, Kazuichi Soda would not give up. Akane sighed, “Nah. She’s probably going to eat lunch though.”

“Lunch, huh? Well, I’m coming with you! Nothing like good food to ease the mind, huh!?” Kazuichi beamed and ran inside, leaving Akane to sulk in the midday sun. Yeah, good food...Right…

Nevertheless, Akane bounded off behind him. She ran up the stairs, past the gaming cabinet that Chiaki would waste mornings playing on, burning through her eyes. When her feet had finally come to a dead stop, the rest were there to finally greet her. Mikan, Sonia, Fuyuhiko, and Hajime all sat and ate with each other quietly. They would occasionally mumble to themselves, but Hajime hadn’t said a single word. Kazuchi was also extremely confused, as if he’d walked in on something private.

Getting closer to Hajime, Akane saw the laptop that Hajime was happily typing away on. Beside his half eaten plate of leftovers was the small notebook, with Chiaki’s hair clip tagged on. Inside, probably contained the answers to who would be the next to wake up. No one knew really, except Hajime and his own little computer program. A surge of hot curiosity filled through her veins. She had to know. Maybe, just maybe...he was next? The thought alone brought uncontained relief to her. She didn’t know why.

“A-Akane...Good afternoon.” Mikan greeted her, and Sonia waved with a bright smile.

“Yeah, hi.” Akane forced herself to sit down and eat a hearty meal with sausage and some other substance. But she didn’t really notice, for once. Her eyes wouldn’t leave the notebook the entire time meal.

The others talked around her as she carelessly stuffed her face. She could sense that Fuyuhiko was nervous. He was almost shaking the table, that’s how nervous he had become.

“Fuyu, are you feeling alright? You seem...pale.” Sonia chimed.

“Y-Yes...Normally, one’s heart rate doesn’t go this f-fast!” Mikan’s small hand was suddenly resting above Fuyuhiko’s heart. It was a miracle he didn’t push her away. Instead, he sat in place, sweating profusely.

“I’m fine. Just…” Fuyuhiko muttered, trying to convince himself along with everyone else, that he was okay. “Just... not sure what I’m gonna say to her.”

“Wow, damn. He’s got it bad, huh?” Kazuichi asked, even if he was just as positively clueless as Akane.

“S-Shut up!” Fuyuhiko snapped. His breathing had become erratic, his eyes wide and afraid like a child’s. “I mean….sorry.”

Oh. No wonder Akane’s gut had been going nuts. The next one to wake up was indeed, Peko Pekoyama. If Akane remembered correctly, Fuyuhiko and her had been some kind of mafia team up. She wasn't sure what, since the whole trial was just a blur. All she really knew was that Peko had murdered poor Mahiru Koizumi. With the photographer’s blood on her hands, perhaps that would make things quite difficult.

“We’re waking Peko up?” Akane was even surprised to remember her name, given her terrible people skills.

“Yeah, in a few minutes we’re all gonna leave.” Hajime didn’t look up from his computer. “The program just picked her. I guess it knows best, right?”

“Hey, that was fucking fast!” Kazuichi said.

“I know. It really was.” At once, Hajime shut the laptop and started walking for the stairs. Everyone, minus Fuyuhiko, followed him. Fuyuhiko’s hands were slightly vibrating. Akane couldn’t blame him. The thought of someone you obviously loved coming back, was...extremely cathartic. But at the same time, it must have been terrifying. The pressure, the excitement, the pain...Akane couldn’t even imagine.

“Akane, you must come with us!” Sonia called out.

“Yeah, yeah. I gotta finish this rice ball real quick!” Akane held up one finger, and winked. Sonia seemed pleased by her answer, and all of them left. Akane was just alone now. She was..alone with the notebook. Painfully, she tore her gaze down at the small book. She just knew the cost of what might happen if Hajime had just...lost it. Of course, she would return the notebook in time. For now, she just had to take it. The answers locked inside the pages needed to be released!

But for now, she pushed the book inside her shirt, snug in between her breasts. Hajime wouldn’t care, would he?

“What the fuck are you doing?” The harsh quipped question was in the air faster than Akane could think. Fuyuhiko was glaring at her.

“Hey, Baby Gangsta! I didn’t really see you there.” Akane smiled, trying to hide the notebook even harder now.

“I told you to stop...calling me Baby Gangsta.” Fuyuhiko sighed, “But I saw what you did.”

“You didn’t see nothing!”

“Yes I fucking did! And also...” Fuyuhiko looked ill. It reminded her of when Haruo had gotten sick that one time. He had been close to death, and she wasn’t sure where to find an antidote. It was thanks to a home made remedy that he had survived.

“Buddy, you gotta chill a bit.” Akane came close to him and pat down his shoulder reassuringly. She squeezed gently and slowly let go. Fuyuhiko appeared mesmerized.

“What...did you just do right now?” He asked.

“Just something I learned. Please don’t tell Hajime that I borrowed his book.”

“I...won’t, I guess. Whatever you do is your business.” Fuyuhiko muttered. “We should probably go now. I gotta-“

“I’m happy for ya, Fuyu.” Akane smiled brightly. “You get to see Peko again!” From what she remembered, Peko was a stoic and graceful creature that hardly ever spoke at all. She was something out of a storybook: A perfect killer.

“Y-Yeah, I do. I’m…” He appeared to be sweating profusely, hands clammy and eyes watery. “I’m not sure what I’m gonna do.”

“Fuyuhiko, come on now…” Akane couldn’t help but reach out to him. Fuyuhiko was a broken boy. He was born into a family of yakuzas, trained into a world of violence and death, and he was just now thrown into what Akane guessed was love. It could be romantic, or maybe something else. But nonetheless, it was love in its most carnal form. “It’s exciting!”

“I know, I know. I just…” Fuyuhiko bowed his head, and Akane gradually put her hand back onto his shoulder. He seemed to appreciate the gesture. Overwhelmed by everything, Fuyuhiko didn’t utter a peep.

“You ready?” Akane asked. The two of them were probably late by this point. As relaxed as Akane was, she knew Fuyuhiko wouldn't miss Peko for the world.

Fuyuhiko met her eyes, and nodded firmly one last time. His eyes were bright and hopeful. He smiled somewhat warmly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

**...**

 

Peko was easier to adapting than Mikan, that was sure. She had just taken the whole “We’re actually the Remnants of Despair and caused mayhem and destruction” thing pretty well. In fact, she had taken it scarily well. That was how Akane knew that Peko had seen enough in her life to know that this wasn’t a joke.

However, the first thing she did do, before everything, was leap toward Fuyuhiko, and clutch him firmly in her arms. He had been flabbergasted, to put in into simple terms. With the memories of her death still gravely in Peko’s mind, she must have been so scared. Akane remembered Fuyuhiko himself almost dying as well. It was an awful day.

With Peko embracing him, Fuyuhiko had eventually collapsed into her arms. Akane knew that he probably didn’t want to cry, to show weakness in front of the others. Yet she could tell he was quietly breaking apart in Peko’s hold.

It was a touching scene, even for Akane’s standards.

No one had said a word for awhile, but eventually all of them regrouped at the hotel’s lobby for a small celebration. Thank god, that Hajime or anyone else had noticed the notebook’s disappearance. The seven of them were too wrapped up in what they were doing to care. Once again, a wave of hope hung in the air. This kind of environment, one with smiling faces and a joyous atmosphere, is just what Chiaki wanted. Now, Akane thought, Hajime could sleep happily.

Still, no matter how much food Akane chowed, or how how much conversation she could take, the burn of the notebook still bothered her. She decided when to finally open it. At night, when no one would mess with her, and inside her own cabin. Then, she would finally know everything.

For now, the aroma of freshly made party food was too delicious to even resist. Akane couldn’t stop herself from nearly leaping onto the table, earning a couple laughs from her friends. That’s right. They were her friends, right? The thought alone was encouraging. Akane just hadn’t thought of them like that before. All of them, surviving against all odds, to live happily and in peace. Together, they would wait as long as it took for the rest to awaken. That was something Akane could sink her teeth into.

“Young Master,” She heard Peko’s raspy voice fly into her hearing, “How long must we wait until everyone is awoken?” The two of them were separated from the rest of the party, only occupied in each other's company. Akane could see that below the table, Fuyuhiko’s knee was shaking.

“I told you to stop calling me...that.” Fuyuhiko muttered. “And we don’t know. It’s kinda impromptu.”

“Ah. I must repay for what I did.”

“To Marihu?”

“...Yes. To think I participated in the killing game, to take an innocent life.”

“Peko, you’re going to get your chance, okay? It’s...my fault too. Don’t forget that.”

Peko didn’t say anything for a while. “You’re anxious.”

“No, I’m not fucking anxious.”

“Young Master, I-”

“Please stop...fucking calling me that.” Fuyuhiko turned his attention to only her. Even if one eye was gone, Akane could see every fleck of emotion bounce off his face. “While we’re here, you don’t need to do...all of that...anymore.”

“I see…This might be difficult for me to get used to.”

“I d-don’t care, okay? No more killing, Peko. We’re done, okay?” Fuyuhiko wasn’t angry, despite the red flags that waved above them. He was simply trying so badly to wind down. Akane could tell he was having a hard time breathing. His face was flushed, and he was avoiding eye contact.

“We’re done…?”

“Yeah. Now we just gotta…” Fuyuhiko shrugged, “Do whatever we missed out on.” He looked up at her with a small, almost invisible smile. Rather carefully, Fuyuhiko’s hand shaikly wrapped around Peko’s, and she froze for just a moment, as if she were contemplating something huge.

Then, the two of them relaxed in each other's presence. Though they were not embracing, it was obvious that Fuyuhiko so badly wanted to. However, there was something distant in Peko’s eyes. It wasn’t as if she did not want to be there, but rather was that she did not know what to do.

Simply put, she was clueless.

Akane decided the two needed some privacy, so she looked away. There were more important events to notice anyway. Sonia, for example, was strangely dancing to some pop song that blared on the speakers. There was a peculiar, almost outdated way that she did it, swaying her whole body to the beat.

“Oh, Akane! Are you digging this beat? I sure am!” Sonia beamed, golden hair flying in all directions. In the corner of the room with a red party cup, Kazuichi stared in honest disbelief.

“It’s so loud, I can’t even make out a tune.” Akane moved a bit closer to Sonia.

“That is the appeal of plebeian music! You must lose yourself in the rhythm!”

“Yeah, sure.” Akane had one leg of chicken already in her mouth. She stood by Sonia, who was still dancing to her own delight, and awkwardly placed a hand on her hip.

Kazuichi’s face had turned a brighter shade of shade, mostly because someone else was talking to Sonia that wasn’t him. Hajime and Mikan, however, seemed pleased in whatever conversation they were having. Mikan was smiling cheerfully, leaning into Hajime’s shoulder.

“She fancies Hajime, does she not?” Sonia asked, finally putting an end to her wacky dance moves.

“She...what? Mikan ain’t that fancy.”

“I meant that she has a huge crush on him!...” Sonia smiled. “It’s indeed understandable. Hajime is a very nice boy.”

“You’re talking about Hajime like he’s your son or something.” Akane scoffed, now reaching for a bowl of potato chips that laid uninhabited.

“I care for him, Akane. It is natural for us to be fond of each other in such a way.”

“Well, sure. I like Hajime too.” Akane said. “But I dunno about Mikan havin’ a crush on him. That’s just weird.”

“Is it weird to find romance blossoming, Akane? Hm, I wonder…” Sonia’s eyes flickered with excitement. She was turning over her peaceful demeanor into something totally mischievous. It scared her!

“That sounds boring and...gross.” Akane laughed hard. “Why flirt or whatever when you can fight for a living?! Now, that’s what life is about.”

Sonia hummed softly, beneath the thundering speakers. “I see...You are what most Novoselic citizens might have classified as a ‘Tsundere’!”

“What the hell…?”

“However, you are unlike any I have come across before!”

“Uh, I dunno what any of that crap means!” Akane yelled, feeling the notebook snug between her breasts almost fall out of place.

“That is on par with what a Tsundere would say!” Sonia shouted with fierce enjoyment. She was getting a kick out of this. Because of this turnaround, Akane felt disorganized, embarrassed, confused.

“Before you, I had thought that Fuyu or maybe Mahiru were the Ultimate Tsunderes...I guess I was wrong all along.”

“What the crap does that even mean?! You callin’ me names?!” Akane wanted to punch a double tiered cake, violently. After the destruction of the delicious and magnificent structure, she would devour every last piece.

“No name calling is necessary, Akane. You must admit your feelings for Hajime before it’s too late!” Sonia grabbed her firmly by the shoulders. Her eyes were...really blue. It was almost scary how blue they were.

“...Feelings for Hajime? What...are you talkin’ about?” Akane was truly speechless. Nothing could have prepared her for this.

“There is no need to further deny it. I myself, have struggled with containing romantic scenarios and thoughts to myself.” Sonia admitted softly.

“...Huh?”

“One of my biggest regrets is not being able to tell him. So, my friend, you must surge forward and admit your feelings!” Sonia almost looked sad for a moment. However, that expression was immediately covered up by an assured grin.

“But I don’t have a crush on Hajime, or anyone at all.”

“...Oh?”

“I haven’t gotten one before, and I never will.” Akane shook her head, “I had no time for that baby crap from where I used to live.”

“I...see. You really don’t love Hajime?” Sonia was now, extremely disappointed. “I guess the Ultimate Tsundere title goes back to Fuyu, then…”

“Well, I guess that’s something you gotta know about me.” Akane’s chest started the itch. That damned notebook must had been in her shirt for 4 hours by now! She just had to…! She just had to-

“However, Akane...It is most interesting you answered that question with that you would never gain romantic feelings!”

“Because it’s freaking true. I don’t have time for that kind of crap.” Akane stretched her back, feeling the grotesque pop that came along with the relief.

She looked back at Sonia, who was gleefully smiling, hands in front of her mouth. “That is exactly what a Tsundere would say!”


	8. Lessons in Normality

 

The party had lasted for a longer than Akane had originally thought. Maybe she had eaten or drunken a bit too much, because on the way back to her cabin, Akane was stumbling like a drunken fool. Hey, she was of legal age. _Why should anyone care?_ She thought as she almost fell flat on her face. The wood boards of the pathway creaked as she wobbled along to her cabin.  

 But when she looked at the stars, she saw something worth looking at. Beautiful, bright lights covered the sky and nothing else remained. The waning moon shined down on the water that glistened under her. Even the weather was perfect. It was a beautiful, tropical night. The air was cool, breezing, and fresh. There were no sounds in the night, save for the faint boom of the hotel’s speakers. The others were still inside, dancing like the world was ending...which it already had.

 For a short while, Akane did nothing but gaze up at the sky. She thought about something, for the first time in a while. Despite being drunk, her mind remained mostly sober. Perhaps it was the beauty of the night that had calmed her into nothingness. Akane stood, and leaned against the post of her cabin, breathing in the fresh salt-licked breeze.

 “It is a beautiful sky.” A voice said to her right. Akane jumped from the shock of it all. There stood Peko, who by some chance, escaped from the party. Though her face remained stoic and almost unbothered by the noise that was around her, the fear of something powerful and unknown still shown in her intense stare.

 “How...long have you been there?” Akane asked, moving ever so slightly closer to her cabin door. She wasn’t sure what to say, or even do. Peko was someone she had never really even talked to, let alone thought about.

 “Not very long. I was just heading back myself.”

 “Uh, I…” Akane struggled to keep herself interested in the almost dead conversation. “How’s...it like being back?” Asking other people questions was a good thing to do, right?

 Peko barely acknowledged her question, lips turned downwards. “It will be difficult for me to transition.” 

“Like... with what we all did or whatever?”

“No. I have had no qualms about killing in the past.” Though her face showed no emotion, Peko almost looked disappointed in herself. “However, I am not saying I agreed with it.”

“So you actually really killed people?!” When Akane really thought about, perhaps Peko wouldn’t be a bad person to spar with. So what if she was more centered on kendo?

 “When it was necessary. I had put myself through anything to protect my Young Master-” Peko looked as if she had swallowed her tongue. “Forgive me. This is what...I was saying, about it being difficult.”

 “Sure. But Peko, you’re really strong.”

 “Strong?”

 “Yeah, you, erm…” Akane straightened out her words. “Someone like you should not be mopin’ around!”

 “I...see. I suppose I should be grateful for the chance I have been given.” Peko bowed her head in silent thanks. “Perhaps, Akane Owari, you can teach me.”

 “Huh-What now?” Akane blinked several times, probably because she was extremely tipsy.

 Peko placed a hand on her jawline and thought about something. “Someone as carefree and somewhat dense as you...fascinates me.”

 “But we haven’t really even talked before!” Akane protested.

 “That does not mean we can’t talk now.” Though no one except for Fuyuhiko could tell, Peko was slightly amused. “To become more adjusted to a ‘domestic life’, I must first become accustomed to all life’s quirks.”

 “What...does that mean?”

 “It means that I must become normal.” Peko said. “Well, as normal as someone like myself can be.”

 “Well, first you gotta stop with the _‘I am a tool’_  crap.” Akane couldn’t help but grimace. “That’s really annoying and weird.”

 “Annoying and weird, got it.” Peko looked as if she were writing on a notepad inside her own head, concentrated in thought. “Fuyuhiko also mentioned this to me.”

 “You know what, Peko? Maybe…” Akane slurred, and fell over nearly on top of Peko. Thankfully, the girl picked her up and leaned her against the small cabin.

 Peko sighed. “You’re intoxicated.”

 “Mhm...Aren’t you too?”

 “No. I don’t believe that alcohol will solve your problems.” Her answer was short and precise, yet it cut Akane deep.

 “Solve my….problems? Look, I don’t got any problems, okay?” Akane huffed with annoyance. She looked at Peko in the eyes, whose hair was flowing in the night’s breeze, her skin pale like the moon itself. She was an oddity, a ghost, a girl by the likes of which Akane had ever seen before. And Akane...appreciated that.

 "Very well. I do not want to presume.” Peko nodded. “I am sorry if I crossed any barriers.”

 “Uh, nah...It’s just-” Akane breathed deeply and sighed. “Maybe I can teach ya. Y’know, about the normal life stuff!” Secretly, Akane wished Peko had picked someone else. Even she wasn’t sure her life was considered normal to someone like Hajime. Then again, Izuru Kamukura was anything but.

 “Hm? You are willing to take me up on that?” Peko almost appeared pleased.

 “Yeah! First thing tomorrow, meet me at the ranch!” Akane beamed widely, finally able to accomplish something other than wasting away on the floor of her room. “You better be ready!”

 “Tomorrow? At the ranch?” Peko considered it, and made her decision. “Very well. I will meet you there at 7:00 AM.”

 “ALRIGHT! You won’t regret this!” Akane laughed with excitement, a bit too loud and a bit too drunk for Peko’s taste. “See ya!” With that, Akane ran inside her cabin and slammed the door shut.

 “Yes. See...you..” Peko stood at the door, simply dumbfounded. Then, after a while, she finally left on her own.

 Akane heard the footsteps gradually fade away, and she lost herself in the eerie quietness of her room. Speaking of which, it was way messier than she left it. Cans and containers of food, sometimes not even microwaved, were littered around. A stink of day old bread and beans also lingered. Till, Akane did not bother picking up the trash as she moved toward her bed. It still remained on the floor, per that was how Akane liked it. Being closer to home, even if it was not comfortable, sometimes was better.

 When she rolled over to close her eyes, stomach gurgling from everything she had devoured, Akane felt a small tug in her shirt. She buttoned it loose to find Hajime’s notebook, sitting right smack in the middle. Akane frowned, and shook her head. She had forgotten she even had it with her. To look in it now, would be…

 Well, it wouldn’t be right. A minuscule voice deep in the back of Akane’s mind told her no, but the feelings of secret rebellion had yet to be quenched. Akane ignored the voice directly, and tore open the small book. She just had to know! She just had to!

 Hajime’s handwriting was scratchy and kind of dull. He wrote all over the page, scribbling theories and questions asked to no one but himself. Most of it was used as a diary, so Akane forced herself to skip past those parts. A man’s own secrets were something a person like her could never snoop. So Akane moved forward, scourging the rest of the book.

 Apparently, it had been used as a part time sketchbook. Small doodles of flowers, seagulls, and the beach were especially impressive. Akane didn’t know anything about art, but this was seriously good. The amount of detail was immaculate, no matter what he had been drawing. Then, Akane had finally found it. She had turned from a sketch of  a hibiscus flower to a rather long list, composed of names. She gasped, seeing the text scrawled at the very top. In a way, Akane almost didn’t want to read it.

  _Thanks to Kazuichi and Izuru’s talents (If I can even call them that) it’s finally possible. Also, that tiny Alter Ego program helped a lot as well. Thank you, little fella. (￣▽￣)ノ_

_But according to the list, this is straight and accurate to medical examinations or something found on their bodies. I’m a bit worried for the ones at the bottom. With the trauma they went through, the waiting time could take years at most, but who knows? I’m not a doctor. Let’s just hope this works. After all, this skeptical nature of mine has gone on far too long._

_Mikan Tsumiki (was not traumatized at all due to the despair disease. Should be easy)_

_Peko Pekoyama_

_Gundham Tanaka_

_Mahiru Koizumi (It’s good she didn’t suffer)_

_Ibuki Mioda_

_Hiyoko Saionji_

_Imposter??? (I really gotta get to know this guy once he’s up)_

_Nekomaru Nidai (Weird how he’s so low on the list.)_

_Teruteru Hanamura (I shouldn’t even be surprised, but I am)_

_Nagito Komaeda (I don’t even want to think about him)_

 Akane sat with her jaw hanging open for the longest time. She almost wanted to throw the book against the wall. Years? It could take years? And why was _he_ so low on the list? Despite Nekomaru and Gundham’s suicide pact being well, a pact, Gundham was just after Peko. Why?

 Akane almost wanted to scream, because she didn’t even know why. Why did she even take the book in the first place? It wasn’t going to fix anything. It wasn’t going to make her feel better. It didn’t even answer her questions! Screaming with ferality, she tossed it in the corner of the room. It plopped against the wooden floorboards with a thunk. Even if he would come back, it could take forever. It could take...forever. She could be grey by the time he would wake up. Maybe...he wouldn’t come back at all?

 “D-Dammit.” Akane sighed. She felt the weakness beneath her angry facade. She could feel it building up beneath her eyes, under her skin. She felt...something she had never wanted to feel. She had felt fear, raw and deep and cold under her ribcage. That feeling, one that Akane had so badly wanted to not bother her, had come back. Its essence tore at her chest, gripping her heart with a freezing grip and sharp fingernails. Squeezing her eyes shut and exhaling through her nose, Akane tried desperately to fall asleep.

**...**

She woke up hungover. Sick and tired, she sat up in her bed, feeling the rays of newborn sunlight warm her bare skin.  She still hadn’t forgotten. The memories of the stolen handbook were still absorbed into her mind. She just...couldn’t stop thinking about it. Poor Hajime, probably turning over his room just to find it. If only he knew who had taken it, and for such a selfish reason.

 Still, she forced herself to fully wake up. She took a shower, she ate some chips, and she sat on her bed again for five minutes. There was a feeling in her mind, still burning deep, that there was something she need to do today. For a few seconds more, she sat and stretched out her neck and back. Akane yawned, and suddenly lurched forward.

  _Peko!_

 That was it! Well, good thing Akane remembered! That was something she could wrap her head around. Something to get her mind off of everything she had just read, and just relax in the moment with a former murderer.

 Smiling to herself, Akane pulled up a musty T-shirt with hamburgers printed on it that hadn’t been washed in about two weeks. She smelled, examined, and slipped it over her head. She forced herself to wear a bra this time, no matter how uncomfortable it was. Then, she left out the door. It must had been a little after 7:00. She would be a few minutes late, no problem.

 When Akane finally arrived at Usami Ranch, she saw Peko looking rather odd around the homely surroundings. Imagine a girl, scary as hell, dressed in dark clothing. Now imagine her pressed against a tacky, red barn. It was a sight to behold.

 "Akane, you are fifteen minutes late.” Peko perked up when she saw her, but did not smile.

 “Yeah, sorry. I slept in, and I’m hungover as hell!” Akane smiled despite of her pathetic behavior.

 “It is fine. I took the time to experience the nature around me.”

 “Nature? Like...bugs or birds or whatever?”

 “I like bird watching. However, I have not engaged in such an activity.” Peko admitted. Her cheeks were lightly dusted with pink. Did someone like her really have hobbies?

 Bird watching sounded horribly boring to Akane. Just sitting around looking at birds? Man, she saw pigeons all the time back home. What made bird watching so exciting? However, if that was what Peko wanted to do, Akane wouldn't want to be the one to stop her. “We should start out your Normal Lessons with that then! Come on!”

 Akane ran toward the barn, leaping up and gripping onto one of the lower parts of the roof, and hoisted herself on top. Her legs kicked the air once before she stood on two legs and waved down to Peko.

 “What are you-“

 “Come on! Let’s start out your normal lessons with this!” Akane yelled down to Peko. “You’re good at fighting, so I’m sure you’ll be good at parkour!”

 With ease, Peko leaped upwards and followed Akane’s footsteps. She possessed almost catlike grace, swinging her body upwards and landing beside her. Akane laughed and cheered as her only audience member.

 “Yeah, that was so cool!” Akane whooped, “Now we can do that bird watchin’ crap!”

 “This is rather strange. I have an odd feeling in my…” Peko murmured off into the distance. Carefully, she sat down on the barn’s rigid roof. “This doesn’t seem safe.”

 “Of course, it might not be! That’s what makes it fun.”

 “And this is … normal to you?” Peko inquired.

 “Duh, yeah.” Akane plopped down right next to Peko. The barn’s wood structure began to creak slowly.

 “This is not safe!” Peko repeated.

 “C’mon! You just gotta relax. Just calm down for Baby Gangsta!”

 “...What?” Peko could not think of anything else. “Baby...Gangsta?”

 “That’s what I call Fuyu! I think the title suits him.” Akane mumbled.

 “Interesting.” Peko nodded. “He must despise it.”

 “Whatever. I like it.”

 “I...do too.” Peko seemed very confused, if not slightly amused. 

 A few minutes of nothing but quiet filled the void while they looked onward. Onward to the hotel, the airport, the market, the ocean. Akane could smell the salt now, as it rose gradually above the sand. There was a lingering thought, in the back of her mind. Not too long ago, she was in the same place. She had first met Hajime and Komaeda here. he didn't know any of their faces, or even their names. It was surreal that all of that, which seemed so real, was just an illusion.

 Then, Peko broke the silence. Of course, she did so carefully and quietly. “There. By the fence.”

 Akane perked up, and saw an interesting bird hanging about by itself. It was tall, white, and elegant. It stood straight and moved its long neck to adjust its head, and even larger beak. Back home, Akane never had the time nor interest to look at nature. Now she could sort of see the appeal. Back home, a moment of peace was some kind of mystery. It was just strange to now relax and do nothing, while at the same time, doing something.

 “A white egret.” Peko had a small, almost invisible smile on her face. She was undoubtedly excited. “What is it doing here?”

 “I dunno. It looks like a long chicken or something.”

 “The two are vastly different, not even comparable.” Peko was hard set on this. Akane wasn’t gonna change her mind.

 “Woah, geez.” Akane muttered.

 “I am...sorry for that sudden excursion. I just really like birds.”

 As if on cue, the egret picked up the wind on its wings and took flight once more. It flapped all the way to the beach, like an angel out of sight. Looking to her left, Akane could see that Peko was absolutely breathless.

 “Thank you, Akane. This has been...rather enjoyable.” Peko bowed her head to her once again.

 “Wait. You’re leaving already?!”

 “No. I just wanted to say my thanks for these Normal Lessons.” Peko said. “I believe they will strengthen my bond with...everyone here.”

 “Hey, we should pick a day every week and do it!” Akane smiled. It was a strange feeling to help another, when you knew you would get absolutely nothing in return. In fact, it was a really satisfying feeling. Akane decided that it was good she had gotten out of bed today. “What about Tuesdays?”

 “I like the sound of that.” Peko hummed softly, gazing at Akane sideways. “You should feel proud to be this carefree.”

 “Proud? Uh, why?”

 “Maybe you don’t think so, but your optimism is what makes you interesting.” Peko turned to face her, eyes betraying her stoic expression.

 “Yeah, I guess?” Akane laughed awkwardly.

 “Most people don’t realize how much optimism is needed.” Peko said, “Just something I noticed.” Akane shook her head, and simply grinned as an answer.

“Come on, Peko. It’s time for your next lesson.” Akane pushed herself to her feet. “Luckily, I brought something for us.”

 “What’s this-”

 “After all this hard work, don’t you think we oughta eat something?” Akane unleashed the snacks hiding in her shirt. After another, the endless supply of food tumbled out of the endless void known as Akane’s own clothing. Chocolate bars, potato chips, Karamucho, and rice crackers laid limply on the roof of the barn.

 For the longest time, Peko didn’t say anything. “How did you fit all of that in there?”

 “There’s so much room with these babies it's unbelievable!” Akane pointed to her...assets.

 “You put the snacks...near your breasts?”

 “Hey, there's nothin' wrong with that!”

“There...is a lot wrong with that.” Peko muttered. There was a lot willpower keeping her glued to the barn.

 “But hey, I’m actually willin’ to share these with you, so dig in!” Akane pushed some of the snacks towards Peko, who frowned.

 “I don’t...snack.” Peko said. She also probably didn't want to touch anything that was in a woman's shirt.

 “Hey, I’m the  one teachin’ you. I said, DIG IN.” Akane bellowed at full blast, and threw one of the chocolate bars at Peko’s face. Luckily, she caught it before it had smacked her in the cheek.

 “Very well...” Carefully, Peko unwrapped the bar, almost as if she were afraid of the thing. Then, after an exhausting amount of time, Peko finally took a bite. Akane sat with her hands on her cheeks, eyes wide with curiosity.

 “This...is…”Peko swallowed, slowly blinking her eyes. “This is good.” The look on her face was absolutely priceless.

 “See? It’s good to indulge a little!”

 Then, Peko did something surprising. She took two more bites, quicker than before. Crumbs remained on her lips as she chowed down, completely forgetting about Akane’s presence. In that moment, Akane felt as if she had accomplished something great. Finally, after Peko had finished her small course meal, she realized her own depravity. Frantically, Peko covered up her tracks, brushing off her sleeves and mouth, When Akane thought about, these Normal Lessons really were a good idea.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peko is very interesting to me. She is fairly popular, but kinda existed to boost Fuyuhiko's popularity. Believe me, it worked. Fuyuhiko and her are both fantastic characters, but I wanted to try something different. The concept of Peko trying to break free of her toxic mindset is so fascinating to me tbh. She needs to have friends. Poor girl.  
> And alo, thanks so much for the kudos and comments!


	9. Beginning of the Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i've got 21 chapters of this baby but i dont want to update too fast. i'm trying to maintain a steady pace but yeah. thank you all of you for the support and comments! just a reminder that the story is a slow burn, so its gonna be slow. however, im gonna try and tie every little plot point into a satisfying finale!

“Akane, this place is so nice!” ~~~~The shouts of excitement came from the small group of children as they rushed into the apartment. All of their faces were bright, all their smiles wide and content. Akane followed suit, listening to them as she leaned against the door.

“Do they have air conditioning?” Haruo asked. “If so, that’s awesome!”

“I’ve never seen some place like this before!” said Ume, now with one missing tooth, yet no scars or bruises to be seen. Despite the horrible occurrence, she was spotless save for the freckles that kissed her cheeks. “The carpet is so soft!”

Soft? Maybe it wasn’t that soft. Well, compared to the poverty they had experienced before, maybe it really was comfortable and easy to walk on.

“You’re right! I wanna sleep on it!” Miki, on cue, flopped onto the carpet.

“Aw, don’t do that. We have beds this time. Right, Akane?” Satoshi asked.

“We have...one. One for the moment anyway.” Akane really was excited, but her energy was depleting. She could feel the uneasiness in her stomach rise, as if a miracle like this could never really happen. After several seconds of convincing herself that her family was indeed, safe, Akane began to relax.

“We actually have a bed! We have a bed!” Ume screamed over and over, running around the living room, soaked with sunlight.

Akane allowed herself to finally breathe, letting her lungs take in air. The past few months had been the absolute worst she had experienced. Doubled work hours, and  stressing gymnastic competitions had already put a strain on her before. But it was finally when the incident with Ume that had made her push even harder. Never again would her siblings have to go to sleep starving, bathe in the pond, or suffer through things no child would need to go through.

Now, thanks to her winnings and savings, she had found the key to their freedom: a small, low budget apartment further uptown. It wasn’t that great, and it was extremely dingy in places. But, the price was knocked down, and Akane had enough in her pocket to share.

Seeing her siblings run into every individual room and gawk at everything in the area, was the best Akane had felt in a long time. Now, if only she could eat something,because she was just starving. Grumbling to herself, Akane ran off to the new kitchen and set down the fresh bag of groceries. Actual groceries, full of many different ingredients and snacks, were just there in her new home.

Going to the grocery store had also been an experience.  Inside there had been no foul men, no drug addicts or questionable hobos, but instead just average people. They were dressed fine, smelled normal, and didn’t stare at her back for too long. Feeling a new sense of comfort and safety was something of which the likes of Akane had never felt before.

Her brothers and sisters had been ecstatic. They had tried to toss every “cool” thing they saw into the cart. A few of the items were a toilet plunger, a milkshake machine, and a few toys. Of course, Akane had to throw most of the products away in secret. However, a few toys were kept. As children, toys were necessary to keep them at bay. It wouldn’t damage her bank account much, right?

Akane had never really...prepared food before. She was more of a scavenger, someone who scourged trash cans and leftovers from the diner. A few morsels was always enough for her, and a few more for the lil ones.

After setting all of belongings (which weren’t many to begin with) down into the apartment, Akane set to work with some cheap noodle packets she had bought. She had also bought a pan, for obvious reasons, and set it on the stove.

A stove...She wasn’t really sure what to do with a stove. You had to just...turn on all the knobs, right?

“Akane, are you making dinner?!” Miki called.

“If I can figure this out…” Akane fiddled around with the knobs, until a bright gush of flame nearly caught onto her hair. “Oh, shit!”

“Akane cursed! Akane said a bad word!” Ume began to sing an abhorred song of her own making. Haruo and Miki joined in, utterly joyful in the worst possible way. Satoshi sat on the floor, probably counting the pieces on the carpet.

“Hey, I had a good reason to!”  Akane yelled.

 

**...**

 

In the end, she only had three burns on her arms! Through luck alone, Akane had figured out the stove, and eventually cooking the ramen. It was extremely mediocre and rather hard. The children didn’t seem to mind, though.

The five of them ate dinner together, and it was like nothing Akane had experienced. As they sat on the floor, talking to each other, Akane realized that they could finally have a normal life. The lil ones could go to school, and maybe...she could too?

 

**...**

It was a morning in spring when Akane got the letter.

She wasn’t really sure where it had come from, or who had sent it. It arrived in a golden letter, carefully mended and dropped by her front door. For a couple days, it sat and was eventually worn down by the outside climate, and Akane’s shoes. I twas until she finally noticed it sitting lonely on the concrete, that she finally decided to open it.

At first, she had thought it was from her “mother”, before she remembered that her mother had never even sent her a single note. Since moving away from their old home, Akane had never even looked back. Pretending to be of legal age to move was easy enough anyways. She had a mature enough body to prove it. All she had to do was forge some documents and pay some bills.  Speaking of which, bills were annoying. She absolutely hated how boring they were.

However, Akane forced herself to open the peculiar letter, ripping the envelope without even looking at the address. The following letter inside, was something else entirely.

 

___

 

**_Dear Person of Interest,_ **

**_We have noticed your work from a distance, Akane Owari. For many weeks, our talent scouts at Hope’s Peak Academy have seen how you perform in your talent. There is yet to an “Ultimate Gymnast” here at the school, and we are offering for you to join our family._ **

**_If you are indeed, interested, please visit our staff here at our address. We welcome you into an exhilarating school life full of hope and excitement. I’m waiting for your arrival._ **

**_Sincerely, Koichi Kizakura_ **

 

___

 

For a few minutes, Akane stood in the kitchen, unable to comprehend the meaning of such a letter.She was entranced, truly, that someone had truly taken the  time to write to her. Never in the now 16 years she lived, had she received a single letter from anyone at all. Slowly, she put the paper down on the counter.  She had been...accepted into this school, right? At least, she thought it was a school.

If the place really was a school, then why didn’t she hear about it beforehand?  And she hadn’t even needed or really wanted to go….How did they find her? How did they know about her? A dozen questions raced through her tired mind, and she grew the more curious the more she peeked at the flowery words.

“Akane? What’re reading?” Miki came around the corner, carrying a stuffed rabbit. It was an older toy, torn by years of playtime and moths.

“Just...something I found.” Akane hummed, absentmindedly pacing around the room. The real question was, would she actually consider attending? She already had two jobs she worked on the side, and taking care of her siblings was a full time workout. She could barely get a break, always running around, dealing with boring things like  bills and working.

But it was when she thought about it, the name “Hope’s Peak Academy” rung something special in her head. A name like that, a name that promised success from just the title alone. Perhaps...a few years in that school could truly save her ass. Success, promise, a solid future built from just attending a school? Maybe...something like that could work out.

 

**...**

 

On a cool day in the Fall, Akane went to school for the first time in her life.

She had dropped the four lil ones off at their own school, as they screamed with excitement and burst with laughter. While walking to school, they had talked about a certain topic that had made them bust up. Akane had softly nodded her head with a smile. The children...weren’t afraid anymore. Of course, there was no reason to, but with no dangers and no creeps to hurt them, all four of them remained happy. Akane reminded herself to keep her mind set on her siblings, no matter how tired she got, or how worn she was.

After watching all of them walk through the elementary school’s doors, Akane turned and ran for the bus station. If she remembered correctly, Hope Peak was about three hours away. She would probably be extremely late. But with her already enrolled, and with her own idea of a school uniform: a plain white blouse (possibly too unbuttoned) and a short, red  skirt, she’d probably be fine. On her feet, she wore white loafers, with no socks. That’s what students dressed like, right? It was basically all she had, anyways. Akane didn’t want to stress about it, and kept running.

The bus ride was tortuously long, way too long than it had to be. Akane had to physically stop herself from jumping out one of the windows. She stretched a little, balancing on the sill or leaning on the pole. Many other passengers leaned uncomfortably away from her as she did so.

When the bus rolled to a stop hours later, Akane almost leaped outside onto the sidewalk, smelling the fresh air, taking in the sight of a proud building that stood taller than the rest. Pathways made of stone merged together in the middle of the courtyard. In the center, was a fountain. Several people who looked her own age were walking forward into what she could only guess was Hope’s Peak Academy... Several people...her own age?

Akane simply didn’t know what to do. This whole experience...was new for her. Still, she couldn’t just panic. She had to go in there with everyone else, and just be a teenage girl Yeah, a teenage girl! She was 16 after all!

With veracity, Akane jogged forward, leaving her hesitation in the dust. Faster and faster, she ran. Her hair flowed behind her as the wind became stronger against her face. Feeling immense energy, Akane shrieked with joy and punched the air. She could do it! She could do it! She could-

She crashed into something, and _hard_.

In a violent clash, Akane was thrown backwards, screaming all the way to the ground.  A sudden, sharp pain lurched in her head, and on her back. Akane groaned, feeling around her head for blood. A small scrape burned on the side of her arm. Akane figured she could just take care of it later by spitting in it.

When she finally wobbled to her knees, she saw the other person still on the ground, rubbing her face. She was a peculiar girl, having a strange color of her hair: a rather grey pink. She wore a school uniform, mostly average save for the strange jacket she wore on top. Her face was round, and her body was rounder than her own. Not fat, just kind of soft. Her backpack had been thrown over her head, probably by the fall.

Akane didn’t really have time to chat, but she couldn't help but leave a comment. “Where did you come from?!”

The girl didn’t answer for a long time, way longer than she needed to. She still sat on the small stones, feeling them in her hands. Her face was a perplexed one, eyes distant. “Oops. I wasn’t really paying attention.” Her voice was almost unheard, extremely soft. She didn’t look Akane in the eye.

“I wasn’t either.” Akane admitted. She held out her hand. “C’mon! Lemme pull you up.”

“Oh….okay. Thanks.” The girl slowly took Akane’s hand, and was pulled to her feet. Her palm was so soft, so delicate and feminine. Now that they were parallel, she appeared to be several inches shorter than Akane. She looked her up and down, mouth open. The girl probably forgot it was open in the first place.

Together, the two girls stared at each other for a very awkward 30 seconds. Akane was trying to see if she would blink. The other girl tilted her head, studying Akane.

“So, why didn’t you see me running towards you? What gives, huh?” Akane finally blurted out, wanting so badly to be freed by the tense air.

“Oh. I was playing my game. See?” The mystery girl held up a gaming console, with visuals on the screen. “Requiem: Vampire Saga.”

“Why didn’t I see you, then?!” Akane bellowed. “Usually, I’m on top on things!”

“Well, I’m not...very flashy. In fact, I hadn’t moved for like, 5 minutes.” The girl murmured. She hid her left eye behind a few strands of hair.

“5 minutes? Hey, you always gotta move around! Somehow!” Akane poorly attempted to pump up the poor girl, who appeared confused and slightly frustrated. “Maybe you should do some sit ups to spice it up!”

The girl huffed, blowing out her cheeks. “Too much energy.” She picked up her backpack from the grass, dusting the dirt off of it.

“No, it’s not!  Ugh, your eyes will be fried off or something by all those games!”

The girl didn’t say much for a while, softly humming as she began to walk toward the entrance. Akane decided to follow her. “I think you would like Road Striker.” The girl mumbled as she shuffled along the pathway.

“Huh?”

“It’s a really fun fighting game. There are two players, and you each have a health bar. Whenever the health bar is destroyed, you can use a special move to-” It was like she was another person. She was ranting on about something Akane had never known about. Akane hadn’t even touched a video game in her life. Why was this girl even talking to her?

“You want me to play a video game?” Akane asked. “A video game where you fight people?”

“Sure. It’s really fun.” The girl mumbled off again, as if she were insecure by her own comment. “I can teach you how, if you want.”

Akane frowned. Maybe a few people to know was a good thing. Perhaps she could become acquainted with the girl. Even if Akane was a lone wolf at heart, it wouldn’t hurt to have...friends. Friends her own age…

Akane sighed. She guessed the game did sound pretty cool. “Okay. When?”

“Um, as soon as I find my homeroom and my schedule, I’ll find you at lunch.” The girl slipped the gaming console inside her backpack.

“Yeah, okay!” Akane began to jog away, before she stopped in her tracks by the girl in question. “Wait. I guess I better just say it.”

“...Huh?”

“I’m Akane Owari. Nice to meetcha.” Akane turned around, and shook the girl’s hand.

“...Oh. Nice to meet you too.” The girl paused, smiling at the ground, although it was almost invisible to the naked eyes. “My name is...Chiaki Nanami.”


	10. Redemption in Hamsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fires of pandemonium...

 

The notebook was right. Gundham was right after Peko. Almost no surprise to anyone, he began murmuring about his hamsters the moment he woke. There was no sign of them around, and his voice was more fragile than it usually was. Even though his dark manner of speaking still remained, Gundham’s breathing was slightly uneven, and became even more so when Sonia had embraced him tightly, sniffling right into his ear. Both him and Kazuichi were both trying hard to hold it together, despite having two different reasons.

Akane remembered seeing Sonia’s smiling face, the way her eyes smiled along with her mouth. Akane was also happy to have another friend awake, but she couldn’t help the bitterness that settled in her heart along with the relief. She stood at the farthest end of the room, watching the others interact and hug and do whatever they did. Gundham seemed almost more uncomfortable than she did. Akane almost felt bad for him. Almost.

“Oh, Gundham! My precious Gundham.” Sonia had sobbed, holding him tightly as he tried to squirm out of her grasp. However, a faint blush was on his cheeks.

“Lady of Darkness...your hold rivals the fires of hell.” Gundham bellowed. “Ha! The fires of hell, indeed!”

“H-hey! You can let go now!” Kazuichi whined through a painfully faked laugh. He looked miserable.

Strangely obeying his order, Sonia stepped back and set both of her arms on Gundham’s shoulders. “And what of the Dark Devas? Did they-”

“It appears they have slumbered well. My Four Dark Devas of Destruction will never falter to even an advanced machine, such as this.” As on cue, the hamsters crawled out of his scarf. There had to be more than just four hamsters this time around! It couldn't be possible, could it?! Around him, everyone except Kazuichi cooed with adoration and relief. Who wouldn’t be worried about four hamsters?

Apparently Akane, who rushed out of the room as soon they began talking again. She slipped out quietly to avoid drawing attention, and carried the notebook in her hands. It was strange how Hajime hadn’t even noticed yet. Maybe he was just so worked up with Peko and Gundham’s return, that he hadn’t even paid attention in the first place. But Akane didn’t just want to keep it forever. In fact, the longer she had to look at it, the more she longed to tear it into shreds.

So she continued going down the long, metallic hallway. Her nerves were going crazy, and she just had to keep moving. In her chest, her heartbeat made a rhythm not unlike a drum. She could feel the soft leather of the book slightly tearing underneath her fingernails.

When Akane made it into the sunlight, her eyes were shielded by her own hand. The day was still fresh. There was no need to just and sit around in a cold room talking to Gundham. Forcing her stubbornness to stay, Akane pushed forward to Hotel Mirai. When she made it inside, she threw the small book on top of the table and left, before taking a snack with her.

The rest of her day was just spent lounging around on the barn. For some reason, Akane wasn’t really feeling it. Her energy levels were depleted, and she just felt tired. She gazed up the sun, barely turning her head. Swinging one of her legs, Akane happened to notice a few bugs on the roof. They looked like ants, from their small bodies and six legs. One of them was carrying a crumb from her snacks. Akane didn’t pay any heed. It was alright with her.

“Go on, little buddy. You need your energy.” She pushed one of the bigger pieces towards the creature. It shyly took it and scamepered away. Something so small, still needed to survive in this world. Something that small didn’t even know the truth of everything outside of this island. It didn’t know about the Tragedy, or Junko, or how almost everyone died off. To be an ant, and to live in complete ignorance, was-

“Hello, Akane.” The sound of a woman’s voice appeared in the air. Akane jumped backwards from the ant.

“What the hell! A talking ant!” Akane screamed, utterly astonished at her own discovery.

“Akane…” The voice came from behind her. It was Peko, sitting cross legged and peaceful as always. “It is Tuesday.”

“Huh? Whadda’ you talking about?”

“Our…lessons. I do apologize, if you do not want to participate today, I will-” Peko stood up politely to leave.

“Oh, yeah. Our lessons.” Akane got up and stretched her back. “Didn’t we do that last week, too?”

“You seem absent.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Akane laughed. “Come on! Let’s do this!”

Peko clearly sensed that something was wrong, but didn’t say anything else on the subject. Intead, she sat back down with attentive eyes. “What shall I learn today?”

“Oh okay, well…” Akane was thinking a bit too hard. She needed to burn energy, despite feeling utterly exhausted. “Maybe we could fight!”

“I am not the type who learns with violence.” Peko said.

“What are you talkin about? I’m just sayin we should spar a little!” Akane brought out her fists and motioned at Peko. “Whadda you say?”

“No, Akane.”

“What...do you mean ‘no?’ I just-“ Akane breathed out through her nose. “You’re bein’ difficult!”

Peko turned from her. “You’re the one who wants to fight me. I can only assume something is bothering you.” Akane knew Peko wasn’t trying to act petty, but the comment bristled her nonetheless.

“What do you want?” Akane growled.

“Originally, I can here for a different reason; to ask you if you wanted to eat dinner with us.” Peko said. “But then I realized that it was Tuesday.”

“I’ll come eat in a second.” Akane looked at the wood, scratching it with her finger. “Just...gimme a second, okay?”

Peko hesitated. “What is the reason that you are angry with Gundam?”

“Huh?”

“You hold resentment towards him.”

“No, I don’t!” Akane snapped, “I like Gundham!”

“You may like him, because we all are allies bound by each other's hope.”

“Ugh, you sound just like Komaeda…” Akane held her breath. Her heartbeat was quickening.

“I remember when Young-I mean, Fuyuhiko was like you.” Peko’s eyes shadowed at the memory, red and intense and cold like ice. “He never relied on anyone, always a survivor, and incredibly stubborn.”

“You don’t hafta remind me. I already remember-“

“I remember...being frustrated, underneath my code. Even though he cared for me, it was only until now when he really showed it.” Peko’s voice grew soft. There was something different about her aura. In Akane’s eyes, she was becoming weaker by the second.

“Agh, what does this hafta do with anything?!” Akane bounced up to her feet, swinging her fists.

“Perhaps, I was drawn to you...because of him.” Peko held a hand to her chin. “You...do not need to avoid your weaknesses.”

“W-What the hell happened to you?”

“I...do not truly know.”

Akane groaned, “Look, I’m not weak, and I’m not a damn coward. I’m not someone who just avoids talking to other people! That’s not who I am!”

“I was not saying you were weak.” Peko said. “That was only you.”

“H-Huh? Whadda you-“ Akane tore her gaze away from Peko, appearing completely offended. “Stop acting like a damn mind doctor!”

Now it was Peko’s turn to be confused. “You mean a therapist?”

“I don’t give a crap!”

Peko seemed awkward. “Akane, perhaps I can teach you in these lessons as well?”

Akane was now slumped over. “I don’t….care.”

“Please. If you want to teach me to become a healthier person, then I shall repay you as well.” Peko held her gaze, incredibly serious.

Akane didn’t respond. She just couldn’t understand what Peko meant. She couldn’t do anything.

But Peko kept going. “Fuyuhiko also refused my help, but I know he had changed. I have to thank you...for that.”

Akane only grunted in answer. She didn’t want to give Peko the satisfaction.

“Now I can finally see what I had missed for...for essentially my entire life. I believe he does too.” Peko finally did something that surprised Akane. A small, sweet smile made its way to her mouth. Her cheeks turned pink.

Oh. So that’s what love looked like.

“Whether you confront your frustrations or not, just know that these past few weeks have helped us.” Peko prepared to leave the roof, looking down the ground. But before she did so, she turned to Akane and gave a small wave. “Thank you.”

Then, she left.

Akane truly didn’t know what to say. She was speechless. So she didn’t do a thing, and absently watched Peko run down the pathway to the hotel.

 

**...**

Akane spent her evening with the pods, specifically Nekomaru’s. With no interest to join the others at dinner, Akane stole some food and ran away. No one would have to know. Even hours since she talked to Peko, her words still ran in her head. That girl...it was like she thought she was the teacher now! The audacity of her! It made Akane want to punch something.

But then again, with her energy being depleted still, Akane had just found herself lying on the floor. She was waiting. Waiting and waiting and waiting for some miracle to happen where she could just be like how she used to be. Waiting for someone to just snap her out it.

_But nothing happened at all._

In fact, life was taunting her to an unfair extent. If there really was a god up there, he probably hated her guts. Well, if that was true, then she hated him too. Any other day, Akane would force herself to stay strong and proud. Yet with every day seeming longer than the last, and every night waking up screaming with desperation, Akane almost felt like she was losing her mind.

She wasn’t even as hungry as she usually was.

Akane sighed, and rolled over on the floor, playing the victim and feeling the cold tile on her arms. She had felt and heard the heavy footsteps of someone who wanted to move incredibly gallantly. She shut her eyes, ignoring him. She knew it was him.

“What are you doing, fiend?” Gundham asked. At least he was feeling his old self.

“...Mind your own business.”

“It appears you have fallen to the overbearing might of the floor. A common fate for some.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Gundham didn’t say anything else, but Akane heard him shuffling around the room. It sounded as if he were stopping at each pod, then moving over to the next one. She grew irritated by the constant noise.

Akane turned around to face him. “Can you just leave me alone-“ She shut up before she could finish. Her own feelings of confliction had gotten even worse.

Gundham stood in his usual attire, but it was the object he was holding that bothered him. A small gathering of flowers, probably hand picked. He looked at her, slightly embarrassed. Although, his embarrassment was hidden by his scarf.

“What...are you doing?”

“I, Gundham Tanaka, have gathered these trinkets of dark power. One fateful day, our companions will be revived by-“

“Just cut the crap, Gundham. I-I gotta go.” Akane went to rush past him before he could finish. She neared the exit and held her hand on the frame. Akane paused, and turned backwards.

With such delicate hands, Gundham placed one flower on each pod. He was oddly serious while doing so. Then again, being dramatic was something Gundham was natural at. With each pod, a unique flower with a different color was placed softly on the glass. Akane could it help but sigh, walking over to him. And of course he had to be at _that_ pod.

Gundham placed a red flower, fresh and beautiful, on the glass. “Unlike most humans, he fought valiantly.”

Akane crossed her arms against her chest. The room seemed too tight. The air was so dense. She didn’t know what to do, so she didn’t say anything.

“Perhaps, the fires of pandemonium will return him to his form of flesh.” Gundham kept rambling on, gazing at a peaceful Nekomaru. “One day, I shall test his might once more.”

Akane only grunted back. “He’s gonna come back. I know he is.”

Despite the growing tension between them, Akane and Gundham had never really talked before this. Akane didn’t even know his last name, or his favorite color. It was probably black, or purple. Yeah, probably purple.

“A fool such as himself would have to come back from the depths of the underworld. To think of having that amount of soul energy…” Gundham’s hamsters crawled around in his scarf, squeaking to themselves. “I know puny humans alike to you have sought to be-“

“Okay, that’s enough!” said Akane.

This time, Gundham was taken aback. “What…?”

Inside Akane was a ticking time bomb. There was a suspenseful gap to when she would actually explode. “I don’t want to talk...about him anymore.”

“Very well. I will respect your wish.” Gundham spoke just as slow as usual. “However, I am aware of the hatred you bear towards me, Gundham Tanaka, and-“

“Woah...hatred? Why would I hate you?” Akane grumbled. She just wanted to go back to her cabin and drink herself stupid, and maybe knock herself out.

“A demon slayer such as myself is used to being mistreated or despised!”

“But I don’t hate you, okay? Why does everyone think that?!” Akane stopped, “You’re not the one I’m mad at, okay?”

Gundham slowly nodded. “I...see. Even for a foolish mortal, your grip on the demonic realm is prominent…”

“...Huh?”

“I must say this, and that is to reclaim your prize at the flames and charcoal of Tartarus, when Nekomaru rises from the ash.”

“What the hell are you sayin?”

“Hm...Normal for an insulate fool not to know a warlock when they see one.” Gundham said. “Thanks to the all seeing power of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction, and also their offspring, I have seen the soul bond between you and Nekomaru.”

“That sounds...way too deep for me.” Akane turned away and muttered. “I don’t get what you’re talkin' about.”

“Then forget I spoke at all.” Gundham flashed his scarf with dedication. There was a knowing smirk upon his face. “I have seen the hatred bloom in your eyes. To look at me is look at the Devil himself.”

“For t-the last time, I don’t hate you.” Akane said. The vulnerability of the  situation was starting to grow. The intensity was like that of two hands squeezing around her windpipe.  “Why does everyone think that?!”

Gundham raised with head with interest. To be as strong as him in such a situation was making Akane jealous. The weakness that threatened to escape was pounding on the exit, hammering, hammering, hammering away. She shut her eyes tightly. Maybe Peko was right. Maybe she did need to express her feelings. Gundham deserved to know that her anger wasn’t directed towards him.

_No. No, no, NO!_

Akane almost broke under the pressure, finally succumbing to nothing but her own stubbornness. She slammed her hand on the pod, causing Gundham to jump. Akane grinned and leaned back, laughing wildly. She combed her hands through her hair, feeling the knots underneath her fingers tear away. Gundham’s face was the most priceless Akane had seen him.

“Ha, I can’t believe you think I’m weak, Gundham!” She tore her grin away to a snarl of pure competition. Inside her heart, she felt the hesitation suffocating her lungs. She knew it wasn’t right.

“Naturally, all humans are weaker than an overlord of ice like myself.” Was all he could say.

“Not me, dammit!” Akane prepared to roll a smooth punch, right to Gundham’s face. Luckily, he passed out of the way.

Gundham released his fist, standing his ground. “You have the intention of fighting me? Very well then, I will have no problem smiting you from whence you came…!”

Akane reeled back, feeling the exhilarating moment as she moved forward, about to land a blow on Gundham’s shoulder. Second by second, time got slower. Then, it stopped.

Or rather, she did.

She didn’t know why, but Akane didn’t hurt him. In fact, she had moved several feet backwards. Gundham, who was still in a fighting stance, raised one eyebrow.

“The winds have changed.” Gundham growled. “One of my Four Dark Devas, Mirage Golden Hawk Jum-P, has smelled fear in your aura.”

Akane’s fingers twitched. She turned her head, ashamed of herself. It was a critical moment for her, and she had just given up. To give up even with knowing she would win against a secret soft body like Gundham was worrying. Then again, maybe Peko was right. Maybe she was changing, turning into a weak puddle of sludge.

Gundham had every right to berate her, but for some reason, he didn’t. Instead, he slowly relaxed into a normal position. He was incredibly confused, never once uttering a single syllable. The only sound in the room was the almost silent squeaks of the Devas.

Akane continued to look at the floor. Inside, everything hurt. No one really could understand her problems if even she couldn’t. She didn’t even know what was wrong with her. It wasn’t Gundham, and it never was. The feelings of joy seeing Gundham alive and well still existed in her heart. It just..couldn’t be the case.

Those bitter feelings...hadn’t entirely been jealousy, had they?

That was all she could make of it, but he longer she thought about it, the more she grew frustrated with herself. God, the thought of Akane with an actual functioning personality and mindset. To think of such a thing.

But she was glad he was back. She really was.

“Akane Owari,” came the voice of Gundham. “I shall leave you to your duties.” He was acting very strange as well, almost too courteous. Before he stood to left, Akane reached out suddenly and touched his arm. It was the one covered in strange bandages.

“Gundham…Thank you.” She couldn’t bring her voice to say another word. She was finished, exhausted and confused.

The strangest thing happened next. Gundham, even with the scarf covering most of his mouth, gave a small and almost shy grin in return. Gone was the maniacal laugh and evil smile, and in was this. Genuine care, shown on a young man’s face.

No wonder Sonia liked him so much.

 


	11. Old Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Them girls, am i right or AM I RIGHT? A party is planned. more like a fluffy chapter than anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> though plot relevant, there is gonna be a few chapters that are really fluffy and innocent. I'd feel bad going crazy with angst all the time and stuff. And also thanks so much for the love and attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaa... im so glad people are enjoying my work

The next months happened so quickly, it was like one day had passed. It seemed every day more news would come in. Every day, more chores got handed out. That was a disappointing factor to Hajime’s clinical personality. Chores on a tropical paradise wasn’t exactly home for Akane, but she guessed she had to go with something. And the most important part was that, of course, three more people had woken up from their stasis. All had gone according to plan, and Ibuki, Hiyoko, and Mahiru remained on the island, alive and well.

It was a beautiful reunion for some, and a dreaded one for others. Peko had been incredibly nervous, though Fuyuhiko gripped onto her hand the entire time. It had looked as if the circulation was being cut off for both of them, but Peko did not tell him to let go.

When Hiyoko and Ibuki had awoken, now taller and matured compared to her younger self, Mikan was physically shaking, unable to control her emotions.

Not to anyone’s surprise, the three took a while remembering what had happened. However, even with a bit of amnesia, the shock of being awake again had caused the most of the drama. Mahiru had woken up screaming, Hiyoko had woken up crying, and Ibuki…Well...Ibuki was alright, considering the other two. All in the span of 12 days, a lot had happened to say the least.

First things first, Mahiru had berated Fuyuhiko for about fifteen minutes. There was so much raw anger in her voice. She mentioned names of which Akane had never heard of.

There were two names of two young girls: Sato and Natsumi. These names were so familiar, and yet Akane couldn’t put together the pieces.

And thanks to his new attitude, he gave her nothing but a few, curt nods in return, before bowing in apology. After a while, Mahiru had stopped, only looking at him with suspicion and worry.

_“That can’t be him, can it?” Mahiru had asked. There was fear in her eyes._

_He didn’t say a thing, too engrossed in what Akane had guessed was hit shame._

But being Mahiru, she had taken the truth of their identities to a new extent. No one would have expected the fiery but sweet Mahiru to be associated with Junko Enoshima. No one could have predicted such a truth. The poor girl had broken down, unable to comprehend her own actions, towards her own family, and the world.

Even Mahiru wasn’t angry at Peko, which wasn’t even that surprising. Peko had bowed in apology twice, almost convincing Mahiru that she had, in fact, committed murder. However, Mahiru had brushed it off, except with being a little perturbed. She even admitted her surprise that Hajime had survived that long. It had looked like she was back to her old self in no time.

Ibuki had taken everything in stride. Choked to death? Hey, that’s a pretty wild way to go, especially if it was a girl who did it! As long as she had a guitar and her wits, Ibuki would be fine. Even Akane had forgotten much Ibuki had contributed to the group. Someone as bubbly and crazy like her was needed in a time like this. So despite being shocked, Ibuki was ecstatic to be back. After all, being alive was miles better than being dead.

It was just those certain moments in which Ibuki would talk just like always, that Akane knew something was wrong. Ibuki was friends with everyone, but she didn’t have everyone. There was no way a person could walk away from trauma like that.

Being as gullible as she was, Akane truly wanted to believe Ibuki’s facade. She was just too funny, too energetic, to imagine crying herself to sleep. It just wasn’t right, but perhaps Akane was never meant to know.

Hiyoko, on the other hand, had locked herself in her cabin for about a week. Only Mahiru was allowed to visit, which Hiyoko accepted almost always. It was obvious the brat had missed her. And she was really was trying to change, along with her...physical changes as well. If anyone else interfered, Hiyoko would just call them a skanky, crack whore. Poor Mikan hadn’t been able to speak to Hiyoko before she had ran away in tears, shaking with fresh anger and memories long forgotten.

Long story short, it had all been a mess.

But now with ten people finally awake, the light had finally begun to sink in. Just the ten of them against the world, the world that they...had helped destroy. It had seemed hopeless, and pitiful and beyond helping. But no more. No more could they soak in their own despair. No more could they sit around and do nothing but moan in their own pity.

The ten of them...could really do anything.

I mean, besides getting off Jabberwock Island of course. The horrifying realization that they would never see their family and others friends again was still fresh in all their minds. Mahiru was especially aghast, about never seeing her mother’s face again. To think that her mother was dead or perhaps worse…

Akane still had to force herself not to think about her siblings from time to time. Oh, how happy they had been. Doing all that work just for nothing. In the end, fate had come and kicked dust in her eyes. Still, she had to remain strong for them. They were just...back home, in a way. If she thought about it like that, then everything would be fine. Yeah! Everything would be fine!

Everyone on the island would wake up! Everyone would be happy and alive and well, and they could eat breakfast together, and make crafts together, and talk to one another. She could eat all of Teruteru’s food before he even started making it, she could eat said food with the Imposter in a competitive match of wits and might, she wouldn’t do anything with Nagito, (because he was Nagito) and Nekomaru...Well, she would probably spar him to death when he came back. That’s what she hoped, anyways.

In Akane’s mind, things remained simple and lighthearted. That was how things should have been. That’s how it always should have been, before everything. Before Akane would wake up in cold sweat each night, before blood had stained their clothes and hands, before Chiaki….

_Before Chiaki had been murdered._

That was just. In her world, that was destined to happen. She could feel in her gut, prodding her and prodding her until she could barely take it. The hope of the situation was at an all time high. Besides maybe Hiyoko, the island remained in bright spirits. Everyone stayed for the others. Only four remained, and Akane wouldn’t miss it for the world, even if it took them years to wake.

Yet sometimes, when it was all quiet, she could almost hear his laugh. It was at times like those, when Akane felt truly lonely. When that happened, she’d just punch herself in the arm, hating herself to feel so powerless in the scale of fate. Still, she held on for her siblings, for herself, for Nekomaru. If she had those hopes in her heart, then Akane could do anything.

**...**

Akane had made it to breakfast late again. She wasn’t even hungover this time. Then again, Akane wasn’t even that hungover anymore. She had decided being drunk felt awful, and throwing up was even worse. Her reason for being late was mostly her own sleep schedule.

When she had finally made it, putting a load of fruits and pancakes on her plate, she had noticed two figures in the hall, quietly talking amongst themselves. No one was else was around. Akane guessed that they had better things to do. Since waking up, Mahiru had taken Hajime’s role as leader. She couldn’t stand not being bossy, Akane guessed.

Still, it was great to have her back. An energetic soul like Mahiru needed to be in charge at least somehow…! To have the heart and soul of your group gone, was almost like a punch to the gut.

But Akane couldn’t think about that right now. For now, she saw Sonia and Mahiru talking to one another. They were both smiling with great excitement.

“So...what time are you thinking?” Mahiru asked. She began writing it down on a small pad.

“3:00 is always successful when planning a good get together!” Sonia cheered. “However, we must remain stealthy. I wouldn’t want any eavesdroppers to intervene.”

“You just mean Kazuichi.” Mahiru put bluntly. “And yeah, that’s a really good idea.”

“...He did crash our beach meeting before…”

All of the sudden, Mahiru’s eyes clouded over with dread. “And that was when I was…”

Akane was finally noticed, and Sonia cut off the intruding negativity of the conversation.

“Akane! What will you say?” Sonia asked.

“What will I say ‘bout what?” Akane scratched her head. It was extremely itchy today.

“We are having a small get together, Akane. Would you like to join?” Sonia said with her hands pressed together on the table.

“It’s girls only.” Mahiru added.

Akane paused. “Will there be food?”

“Of course! It will be a picnic by the beach!” Sonia smiled with a childlike excitement.

“Alright! I’ll be there! I’ll eat all the food I can find!” With being pumped up, Akane ran out of the dining hall. Mahiru and Sonia sat, perplexed out of their minds.

Mahiru gazed out at the open doorway, taking in the sight of a room with Akane in it. “She didn’t even ask the time of the picnic…”

Sonia clasped both of her hands to her heart. “Same old Akane!”

**...**

Akane arrived to the picnic surprisingly early, most likely to eat everything before everyone else did. However, Akane wasn’t entirely a disingenuous person, so she brought one measly bag of chips. The others deserved to eat too!

The picnic was extremely elaborate, and set up in such a way that that screamed “Girl’s Trip!” Pink ribbons were strewn from around the palm trees, fancy picnic baskets sat around the very pink blanket that stood against the white sand. The intoxicating smell of delicious sandwiches hung in the salty wind. Sonia, Mahiru, Mikan, and Ibuki were already standing around talking to themselves. Ibuki seemed to be leading the conversation, holding a boombox.

“And that’s why I think some music will help the party!” Ibuki shouted.

“But it’s not a party, Ibuki!” Mahiru said. “I mean, what kind of music are we talking about here? Pop? Maybe some Latin?”

“Only Ibuki’s one of a kind music! Perfect for our get together!” With that, Ibuki placed the stereo on the ground and pressed play. In two nanoseconds, the blasting sound of heavy metal booked through the beach. Everyone’s hands went to their ears.

“A-Ah! Ibuki, t-the-“ Mikan squirmed around her own discomfort. Akane didn’t really mind, moving past the dancing Ibuki and the others to snatch a sandwich from a basket.

“Ibuki, the music is way too loud!” Mahiru screamed, hands over her ears like a vice.

“WHAT? Louder?!” Ibuki turned the volume even higher.

Mahiru was absolutely mortified. “What?! N-No!”

“I...rather like this!” With that, Sonia began jamming out to the sounds of throat screeching with Ibuki.

Over the sound of screaming around the area, Akane heard a rather...squeaky voice rise over the others. “What the- Why does it sound like two cats screwing?!”

When Akane turned around, she saw Hiyoko, of course, taller than ever. With only one golden ponytail curled around her waist, she stood with the nastiest expression Akane had ever seen. It was one of judgement and disgust. She didn’t like it all, but just continued to eat her sandwich, and maybe one more.

Ibuki livened up. “Ah! Hiyoko! How do you like my magnifying song, ‘Every Plastic Surgery is a Nightmare’?”

Then, Hiyoko calmed down at once. “Never mind. That explains everything.” She walked down to the others, greeting Mahiru with kindness and the others with distant looks. Mikan was avoided entirely.

“H-How about we t-turn it off for now, Ibuki?” Mikan asked, “N-Not like I dislike your music taste or a-anything!”

“Okie dokie! I know most of you are as refined as I!” Ibuki switched off the stereo, releasing the picnic into a calming silence. The only sound was Akane’s obnoxious munching.

“Now that everyone is here…” Sonia muttered, “Wait! Peko must be late...She has not appeared as of yet!”

“Now Akane is hogging all the food!” Hiyoko snapped. “You greedy dumbass!”

“Huh? You talking about me?” Akane asked.

“Uhh! Peko must be slicing melons or chopping wood planks!” Ibuki added.

“No. I believe she was interested in coming...” Sonia said with defeat. “It is not like her to be so late!”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure she’s fine.” Akane shoved a slice of orange into her mouth. She wasn’t really even hungry anymore.

“Well, whenever Peko arrives, I have my camera here with me.” Mahiru showed it off, catching Ibuki’s immense interest.

“I s-see! You’ll take pictures? O-Of us?” Mikan smiled timidly, “M-My, pictures of m-me?!” She blushed.

“No one is going to want to take pictures of a snotty pighsit like you!” Hiyoko sneered with nothing but malicious intent.

It clearly caught Mikan off guard. “I-I’m sorry…!” To think that she had once killed Hiyoko...And to think that Hiyoko hadn’t even spoken of it.

“Hiyoko, please.” Mahiru sighed and held firmly onto her friend’s hand. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves, okay?”

Hiyoko shut her eyes and shrugged. She sat on the beach and smushed the sand between her hands. “Hm. Alright.”

“Now, why don’t we get our munchies on? The temptation of the food taunts my soul…!” Ibuki grabbed a particular sandwich that Akane had her sights on, and took a bite. “Woohoo! Almost as delicious as curry!”

“Ew, curry is gross.” Hiyoko barely had the energy to mock Ibuki for her tastes. Even by being lightly scolded by Mahiru, she was as stiff as a rock.

For the next few minutes, the girls had as much fun as they could. Now with all the girls of the 77th class, except...her, it was like they were all a family again. Akane could easily sink into the situation without a worry in the world. That was that. A perfect world on a perfect island with shipments of perfect food that came every five months.

Akane had laid down into the sand, letting her natural tan become darker in the heat of the noon sun. The ocean crashed over feet away from her, the tide becoming higher. The sounds of laughter echoed from the picnic. Ibuki seemed to be having the best time of all. A few clicks of a camera were heard.

Then, a shout emerged. Ibuki shrieked especially loud this time. “Eek! It’s Peko returned from the grave!”

“She is not dead, thankfully.” said Sonia. “Come and join us, Peko!”

“I am sorry.” Peko looked slightly unwell. From just glancing at her for about a second or two, Akane could see the uneasiness in her cheeks and in her eyes. She was holding her gut, in pain. “For the...inconvenience.”

“Don’t tell me you clogged the toilet again!” Hiyoko grinned.

“N-No. Nothing like that.” Peko walked down to them, sitting on the sand gracefully. “I am fine now.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Sonia asked.

“M-Maybe I can perform a medical c-checkup?” Mikan walked toward her.

“No. I will be fine.” Peko nodded to mostly herself, and saw Akane sitting alone. Seeing Akane was probably about as tired as she was, she schooched over to her.

“My gut’s goin’ crazy right now.” Akane said. “You sure you’re doing okay?”

“This morning, I was just a bit unwell. But I am here now, am I?”

“Uh...yeah.” Akane said.

Beside her, Peko was holding her stomach. Her face was contorted with discomfort. “Perhaps I got food poisoning.”

“For real this time, maybe!”

Peko didn’t respond, but tightly shut her eyes and held a fist to her lips. Obviously she would rather be somewhere else. Akane leaned forward and pressed a hand on her shoulder.

“Peko?”

“Mhm, I’ll be fine. Thank you, Akane.” Peko said.

With that, Akane backed off. The steady sound of the conversation came back, and Akane leaned back with her arms behind her head. Now the boombox was quietly blasting Ibuki’s music, and the others continued to talk amongst themselves. With a full belly, Akane could finally kick back and relax.

A few splashes were heard, and she saw that quite a few of them were in fact, swimming. They didn’t even have their swimsuits on, but the laughing was enough of a sign of the fun that was felt. Akane had the sudden urge rush into her mind to join them, and she began to run towards the shore, feeling the wet sand beneath her bare feet.

“Hey, wait up!” Akane said.

It was when the commotion of Akane jogging towards them was heard, the girls toward around and screamed all at once. Looks mixed with amusement and terror were painted across their faces. Akane raised an eyebrow, and then realized the problem. Of course they would be bothered by that.

A blush covered most of Mikan’s entire body “O-Oh m-my…”

“Akane, my gosh.” Mahiru held one hand to shield her eyes. “For the love of everything, put on a shirt!”

“I still gotta do that shit? Well…” Akane sighed and slipped on the article. “There, you happy?”

“Very much so!” Sonia said.

Despite the trauma inducing incident, the girls seemed to forget their worries., and relax in the ocean. Akane remembered in the very beginning, Usami had encouraged that to happen. Akane had even taken off her shirt. In a way, the memory brought back a sweet sensation. All the girls that still lived, all the girls that had murdered, lived horrible lives under Junko, were now in harmony.

In other words, Usami got her wish in the very end. Even if Usami wasn’t liked much by Akane, she could admit her good intentions. And when Usami was mentioned, the image of her crashing into a clumsy Chiaki ran to mind. The first day, before everything had happened. Who would have thought?

To think that now she would be splashing around with her good friends on a tropical island, waiting patiently for the rest to awaken. Now with all their hope contained within their hearts, a life on Jabberwock Island might have not sucked that hard in the end.

Again, who would have thought?

  



	12. Inscrutability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Ham Hands returns, bringing more mysteries than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotta say that the ultimate imposter is one of my favorite characters from the danganronpa 2 cast, but we know nothing really about him! imo this chapter seems a bit rushed, so i apologize for this. Everything is just leading up to the finale....which im currently writing right now and WHEW....them feelings amiright?

  
Hajime had the notebook in his hands, an intense expression heavy behind his eyes. His finger tapped the inside of the book with an impatient energy, his lip was bit until it probably almost started to bleed. The ten of them stood still while Kazuichi typed into the monitor rather quickly. It was almost if they had moved just slightly, an explosion would take place. To keep as still as possible was the only option left.

It was the same process they always went through. Hajime said it was time, they went, they waited, and then the one who woke up would scream and cry and become miserable. The eventual waiting got so painful that Akane noticed her fingernails were digging into her palms. She looked down and saw blood stemming from the skin. The only ones who had not followed this cycle were Gundham and Ibuki, and Akane truly didn’t know what to expect with the Ultimate Imposter. When the time came, they would see for themselves.

It was 2:31 on a Wednesday when the Imposter woke up. Dressed in a black suit and donned with white hair that covered his forehead, he was now extremely different than who Akane had known him for twice. Gone was the animator and progeny, and here was someone who she had no clue what to do with. The only thing that stayed the same was his weight, and even so, he was a completely different person.

He woke up like no other, with complete posture upon his face. He barely even blinked, as if he knew the situation he was placed in. Looking at each old face with suspicion and remembrance, the imposter tilted his head.

“Who are all of you?”

“Huh- Don’t tell me he got the worst of it!” Kazuichi pleaded.

“He might be pretending still. Don’t forget who he is, you know.” Fuyuhiko stood by Peko, who didn’t say anything at all. Her face was an iron mask.  
  
“Yo, Byakuya! You look so different!” Akane said. “Good to have you back!”

“Now’s not the time to be stupid, Akane!” Kazuichi snapped and turned to Hajime. “Hajime! What is happening?”

“I don’t know.” Hajime answered.

“Why...does he look so different?! Don’t tell me he had face surgery!” Ibuki shouted and backed away from the pod.

“Don’t you remember, Ibuki? Are you...okay?” Mahiru asked.

“It has been a long time…” said Sonia.

“He still has his ham hands!” Hiyoko smirked, “Doesn’t he?”

The imposter, who was witnessing all of this, stood with complete confusion upon his face. He felt around on his stomach and chest, where Teruteru had stabbed him multiple times. Once that body had been streaked with blood, and hidden underneath the table. Akane could almost smell the blood again, and how strong it was.

“Now is not the time to be foolish.” Gundham crossed his arms. “Let the man speak. He has suffered through the flames of his own night terrors alone, than to be tampered by the whims of the flesh...”

“Uh...what did you say?!” Ibuki laughed.

Mikan stammered out. “G-Gundham isn’t w-wrong. To be st-stabbed that many times...The t-trauma would be catastrophic…”

Hajime stopped everyone before anymore could speak. “Guys...seriously, let’s hear him out.”

The imposter was stricken with a face that read as nothing. It was as if he were trying his hardest not to panic, and forcing his composure to stay. He opened his mouth to speak, but didn’t say anything at all. His hands were slightly shaking.

Everyone was absolutely quiet in return. Kazuichi coughed once to stiffen the awkwardness. Akane couldn’t help but smile at the thought of having “Byakuya” back, no matter who he really was. She offered a friendly grin to him, and the imposter didn’t even return it. He just kept looking forward, in his own world. He was in his head now, not once looking at the others, his hand on his chin.

“How...How…” The imposter muttered. “I don’t understand.” He appeared more amazed than frightened.

His voice was much different from Byakuya’s. He still wore the stern expression of a leader once lost, someone who barely had the time to tell them anything. They had barely knew him, and now they were left with a man that was a complete stranger. Still, Akane remembered him from before. He was her friend. They would eat together, talk together...He was her friend, and she wasn’t going to let him get away.

“Hey. We’re gonna help you understand!” Akane held a hand to him, as he sat in the pod, barely moving. Gradually, the imposter grabbed Akane’s hand and was pulled to the ground. He still towered over most of them, still containing that powerful stature from before.

“I see.” said the imposter. “I...know all of you.” With a new form of memory, he glanced around at them, and smiled shyly. “But you do not even know me.”

Akane had remembered it when she saw his real face, and his real hair. She wondered if she would be able to meet that guy again.

“You’re oddly calm.” Hajime noted.

“Yeah! When I got up, I couldn't stop craving fruit snacks.” Ibuki swooned. “You’re so cool, Byakuya!”

“He’s not Byakuya!” Kazuichi said harshly. “That’s right. We caught you, dude. So come clean.”

“I noticed that.” said the imposter.

“You must be more confused than us.” Fuyuhiko mumbled. Peko nodded beside him. Her hand was on his shoulder.

“Confused? Maybe.” The imposter sighed. “Where’s...Ryota?” Hajime was noticeably confused as the others collectively mumbled in discussion.

“You mean the really shy kid? He was so cute!” Ibuki played with her hair. She looked at the imposter with a dark blush upon her cheeks.

“Who?” Hajime asked.

“You...were...him, weren’t you?” Mahiru leaned forward slowly, studying the imposter’s face. “I remember...that you were.”

The imposter didn’t answer. “Is he not here with us? On the island?”

“Whoah! How did you know?!” Kazuichi shrieked.

“I figured it out.” The imposter said.

“Damn, I bet you know about everything else too, huh?” Akane grimaced.

“Yes. I remember some memories, if that’s what you’re wondering.” The imposter shook his head, as if he were trying to get a horrifying image out of his mind. Hajime, at once, knew of what he was thinking of. Then, out of nowhere, the imposter stomped out of the room.

“Where the hell are you going, fiend?” Gundham shouted down the hall. The imposter’s light jog turned into a full blown sprint. He became a speed demon, dashing down the hallway and out into the sunlight.

“He’s getting away!” Akane ran after him, followed by the others.

“Hey, come back here! We’re not finished with you!” Mahiru added in, surrounded by the mixed voices of shrieking young adults. The resonance of several shoes echoing through the empty hallway.

When they finally made it outside, Hajime followed last, head deep in his notebook for answers. Akane blinked the heavy sunlight from her eyes and focused on the imposter, who was now just casually strolling around the bend.

“What the hell-”

Hajime pushed ahead in front of the others, and stood by the imposter’s side. “Hey, don’t just run off like that.”

“And go where? There are no bridges like before.” The imposter swallowed. “But this is, no doubt, Jabberwock Island.”

“I don’t get you.” Hajime scoffed. “I just don’t get you.”

  
The imposter looked from Hajime to the other kids. He let out a small smile. “You will soon enough. I guess I wasn’t one step ahead like I used to be.”

Hajime stopped, and looked into the imposter’s eyes. In those eyes, Hajime could see the hot panic behind them. The imposter narrowed his brow, constricting his emotional range. “Ryota Mitarai. Where is he?”

“Sorry. I-I don’t really know him.”

“If he isn’t on the island, then…” A flash of concern appeared in the imposter’s voice. “He…must be…”

“Do you...know what happened?” Hajime asked.

“I believe so. We were...in a simulation?”

“Yeah.”

“And...Chiaki?”

Hajime didn’t answer. That alone was a reason for the imposter to stay quiet. So he placed a steady hand on Hajime’s shoulder, one of friendliness and respect. He nodded his head, and waited for Hajime’s response.

“I’m sorry.” The imposter said.

“Who...are you, really?” Hajime finally asked him, snapping out of his trance.

The imposter held his arms close to his chest. Knowing he was cornered, he gave nothing but a small, curt nod and walked away. “Who do you think?”

**...**

  
The past couple of days had been tedious, in that the imposter hadn’t even given into their demands. He would mostly explore the only island they could explore at all, and eat when he had to. Meeting him again had been incredibly disappointing, to say the least. Akane had expected a huge reveal, or something of that caliber. Instead, she got a stuck up fat guy with too many secrets to hide.

Hajime had just told them that in due time, the imposter would reveal his true identity to them all. It would just take some time, and Akane hated time more than anything. The idea of not ever knowing the imposter’s actual name bothered her. She just didn’t know what was taking him so long. He was just being selfish, that’s what he was. Or was he not being selfish? Were his intentions pure? Did he just care about his own identity in the end, and not anyone else?

Akane just didn’t want to think about it anymore.

So when it finally happened, she wasn’t sure what to think.

It had started with the eleven of them sharing a late dinner. That night, Ibuki had planned yet another firework show for all of them. Excitement was high, and poor Hajime didn’t have to set everything up this time. With Ibuki in the lead, they all ate as quickly as they could to get the clearest possible sky. But on Jabberwock Island, with the weather always beautiful, they was no logical rush.

Akane remembered the time they had done this in the simulation. Ibuki had planned it all with Hajime, and seeing the actual fireworks had been the most breathtaking sight Akane had seen. Chiaki, Mikan, Nekomaru, and Sonia had all been there with them. It was one of the last times she had felt happy in that virtual world.

She could almost feel his loud “OOH’S!” and “AHH’S!” that rivaled the fireworks’ own booms. Before that night, Akane had just seen Nekomaru as her coach, her friend, and nothing more. She wasn’t sure what happened, but when looking up at him glowing with sparks and laughter with the others, Akane had felt a sudden ache in her chest. It felt as if someone had kicked her in the windpipe. She just...didn’t understand. She still didn’t get the feeling to this day.

“C’mon, everyone! We gotta eat to the beat! Let’s go, people!” Ibuki almost got up and walked across the tables, but Mahiru grabbed her leg posthaste.

“We’re trying, Ibuki! Just hold on…!” Mahiru pleaded.

Ibuki made a small, humming noise. “I accept for now. But imagine the colors of them all! Ibuki gets so excited!”

Hiyoko actually tried being cheerful for a change. “I’ll bring my fan. Dancing under fireworks has always been a dream of mine!”

Akane had already finished her plate by the same time as the imposter, the second fastest eater in the group. Across the table, she stared at him with her most intimidating glare. Interestingly enough, he did not peer down at her as if she were an insect.

It was when they got to the beach, that Akane somehow noticed the imposter was behaving rather strangely. He was quieter than usual, gazing longingly at the sea. On the other side, were the loved ones they had all left behind. It was a lot to think about. Sonia’s whole country was waiting in ruin, and yet she could never see it again.

Still, Ibuki remained in high hopes. She helped light the first firework, and with baited breath, the former remnants of despair watched the first cracker fizzle into the empty sky. It exploded into a bloom of reds and yellows, a thickening pop filling the beach.

Seeing them in person only shook Akane still. Man, her siblings would have loved this. But still, she could not waver now. The faint tunes that played from the boombox also helped set a friendly atmosphere, distracting Akane from becoming bothered. She held in her fears, and stared at the sights of colors and sounds.

“They’re s-so loud! And bright!” Mikan held both hands on her lap as she sat on the beach. A cute smile sat on her face. She wasn’t even afraid.

Peko and Fuyuhiko were more drawn back than the others. They were laughing together about something, his hand resting gently on her stomach. It was an interesting sight, but Akane didn’t pay it too much heed. The one thing that caught her eye however, was their overwhelming joy and love. It practically overflowed from their location on the sand.

Mahiru, Hiyoko, Sonia, and Ibuki all danced together. Even Kazuichi started to join them, for once forgetting Sonia and twirling around with Ibuki.

“You dance really well for a mechanic, Kazuichi!” Ibuki let out a small “meow” at the end of her sentence.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” He snapped, almost letting go of her shoulders.

“It means you dance really well for a mechanic, silly!”

Hajime and the imposter stood side by side, quietly talking. Without Chiaki by his side, Hajime appeared almost barren. When thinking of them all, as a group, that was when Akane missed Chiaki the most. She didn’t usually let feelings of regret or mourning her to her, but looking at Hajime…that was when it hit her the hardest. Missing someone you loved...Akane could understand that, even if she could not understand herself.

She could hear snippets of their conversation.

“What made you want to become the way you are?” Hajime asked calmly.

“Distrust, mostly.” The imposter thought hard about this. “People usually don’t trust a person like me. So I just thought the same.”

“And…?”

“And what?”

“Well, it just sounds depressing.” Hajime laughed pathetically.

“Ironically, it isn’t anymore.” The imposter hummed thoughtfully. “Knowing you all...That was my savior in the end.”

“And yet we barely know you.”

“No, you don’t.” The imposter said. “I don’t intend to keep it this way. Don’t think that.” There was the imminent glimpse of a smirk.

After a while, the last firework had finally gone into the sky, the whole beach smelled like smoke, and everyone was exhausted from the party. Everyone was packing up their bags and bottles and whatnot. No one really spoke at all, and still, the friendliness rang true. A content aura washed over all of them. It was a beautiful night. Akane was truly at peace.

Then, the slightest noise was heard: a voice. It was just loud enough to be heard.

“Shohta Sasaki.”

When everyone collectively turned to see the source, a gasp was heard across the island. There stood the true imposter, dark hair down to his shoulders and cold, slanted eyes. He was incredibly serious, and broad shouldered. In his eyes, he was akin to an animal cornered, finally revealing the thing he hated the most. However, he did not shoo away, and he stood his ground. Akane tilted her head. What did he mean by that?

Fuyuhiko was the first and only to speak. “What...was that?”

The Ultimate Imposter couldn’t help but take a deep breath, as if he were running out of supply. His hands balled into fists. Every heart was beating like his. “My real name...is Shohta Sasaki.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO i gave him a name! well honestly we never even really knew the true gender of the imposter so uh...hopefully the name is pretty good


	13. Decisions, Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane gets impatient, and then she gets angry.

It had been at least a year since Akane had woken up. Life on the island was getting easier to understand. Months went by without any murders, any investigations, any Monokuma. Waking up to see no dead bodies was something Akane had never realized she would experience.

Akane still had the dreams. She had several about her siblings, several more about Nekomaru, and others just involving nothing but sweat and acceleration for her in the damp mornings. She didn’t want her mind to linger on said dreams, so she’d start her day with a lukewarm beer and maybe a few pieces of cheese or chips. That being said, Akane was a simple woman. She was easy to please.

Still, her patience was running low. It was nearing February, and the other three had not awoken. Even when Akane was used to bitter February's back at home, the tropical weather felt the same everyday. There was no leaves that fell, no smoggy skies, no beeping of cars below her apartment window. Compared to the city, a tropical island was rather boring.

Of course, there were its perks. The weather was nice, but it was always nice. There was a steady supply of food and water, but then again, they were still trapped on an island. Without the bridges connecting to the others, the 15 of them would be trapped here for the rest of their doomed lives. Then again, Akane wouldn’t really mind spending her whole life with them, her old classmates. They were a good bunch, she figured.

But without anything to give her reason to wake up, Akane felt rather tired. She still had the Normal Lessons with Peko every Tuesday, and now it had seemed like Akane was getting taught at her own game. Peko seemed...happier, better. It made a small piece in Akane feel proud. Despite everything, Akane had finally done something worthwhile. Peko would actually smile naturally, her entire energy transformed into a new person. She would hold herself up, in a higher regard for herself and others. Fuyuhiko even seemed happier. Akane didn’t recall the last time he cussed someone out. The two of them were like something Akane had never seen. A couple actually being happy together? They...loved each other? It just seemed unrealistic.

Her whole life, Akane had been running and never looking back. Relationships to anyone besides her siblings were meaningless, pointless, and foreign. In fact, she wondered what people even saw in such a thing. Perhaps it was fine, and some people were meant to be together...But…

Feelings just didn’t make any damn sense. At 22 years old, she still felt as if she were still 15, surviving against the odds in the ghetto. Feelings were just something that would usually get in the way. There was either dying because you were weak, or surviving because you were strong. People just didn’t understand. That was the world she was born into. She knew the costs.

But now...she wasn’t sure.

“Whadda’ mean it’s gonna be rare?” Akane had been yelling for the past five minutes. No matter how much Mikan and Hajime persuaded her to stop, Akane just didn’t care anymore.

“P-Please, Akane…!” Mikan pleaded, but it was no use.

Akane broke free of Mikan’s arm, and backed away violently. Again, she was a cornered animal, wild in the hair and eyes. Her mouth was barred.

“Akane, stop it.” Hajime said.

“Don’t t-tell me to stop!.... It’s not...fair.” Akane muttered. “It’s not fair, you hear me?”

“We’re trying everything we can.” Hajime exhaled softly. “Just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t.”

“Dammit! That’s not what I mean!” Akane snapped and threw out a solid punch. It hit nothing and no one, which only made her angrier.

“W-We’re trying our very best…!” Mikan turned pink in the cheeks. She was trying to steady herself from stuttering too much. “Taking precautions is necessary in my field.”

“What field? Why do you have a field?” Akane asked through her clenched jaw.

“I m-mean, in being a nurse.” Mikan squeaked.

“Oh.” Akane paused, “Well, if you’re a nurse, why don’t you just fix him right now?!”

“W-Well that would be i-incredibly dangerous...and impossible.”

“Impossible?! Screw that!”

“Look, Akane. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” Hajime but in.

“It’s just…” Akane curled up her arms. “I didn’t think that he would be a problem.”

Mikan’s eyes nervously darted around the room. “With Nekomaru dy-dying twice in the Neo W-World Program...and h-his chronic heart disease-”

Akane didn’t hold back. “Damn it! Just shut up! Shut up!”

Mikan shut her eyes tight, and squealed for forgiveness. “I will! I’ll s-shut up!”

“Akane!” Hajime scolded her at once. Akane felt the guilt rise immensely in her chest.

Looking up from the lobby’s floor, Akane saw Hajime and Mikan staring right back at her. Hajime’s lip was held down in frustration, and Mikan had tears running down her cheeks. Akane immediately looked away. Damn it all!

“I’m sorry, Mikan.” was all she could mutter. The girl sniffed loudly and nodded, forgiving Akane without a second thought. Akane guessed that's what made Mikan so lovable.

“Akane…” Hajime said. “I miss him too, but we have to be careful about things.”

Akane didn’t even look at him. “Fine, you win. You win, you win-” Hajime’s arm stopped her there before she had completely taken off her shirt. It was raked up halfway up her bra.

“Akane, stop whatever you’re doing.” Hajime averted his eyes, and pulled the shirt down.

“I was just gonna let you touch my boobs! That’s good, right?” Akane asked.

“N-No! Akane....” Mikan’s face was completely red. She was breathing unevenly. “That’s n-not…”

“Ah, right. I forgot you guys don’t like my boobs.”

“It’s not like we don’t like them!” Hajime paused. “Wait, no. That sounds wrong.”

“I’m sure your b-breasts are very wonderful, Akane…” Mikan’s hands started to vibrate nervously. “B-But n-now is not the time!”

Hajime gasped. “That sounds even worse!”

“A-Ah! I didn’t mean to sound so...perverted! Please-”

“No, you’re fine! Thanks for calling my boobs wonderful!” Akane gave Mikan a thumbs up, despite not feeling well.

“I don’t want to be in this conversation anymore.” With that, Hajime got up and left the lobby.

“Hajime!” Akane ran after him, and stopped him when they made it outside. Mikan must have still been indoors, crying in embarrassment.

“You won’t take off your clothes again?” Hajime peered over his shoulder to her.

“Not if you don’t want me to.” She bluntly put it.

Hajime shook his head and sighed. “Akane, I need to show you something.”

“What are you-”

  
“Just follow me.” Without another word, Hajime strolled off to the visitor’s center, where the pods were located. Akane could only sense her mood dropping further as she realized this, but she pressed forward and followed him. It took a while, until the two had finally come to a stop before the pods. Most were empty at this point, only three remaining. Hajime walked across the tile to the computer. He started clacking down on the keys like an expert, leaving Akane to watch him in the dust.

For a minute or two, Akane could only hear the sound of her own heartbeat and unsteady breathing. She ruffled her hair a little, keeping herself occupied for the time being. The air was very cold, and seemed to bite into her bones. An icy feeling began to form in her chest. Her heart almost seemed to hurt. Never before had it beat this fast, at least not in a long time…

Finally, Hajime talked to her again. His voice rose over the steady hum of the machines. “Mikan helped me create this. It’s really a big help.”

In front of Hajime, and planted on the computer screen, was the three remaining subjects, and their corresponding information. If that’s what Akane could understand, she could also see their own vitals, and their cardiac pulses being monitored. Each person was represented by a small picture of their face. By far, Teruteru held the strongest heart rate. The other two were not so lucky.

Akane held her hand to her mouth, and bit into her palm. She could feel the skin tearing. No matter what Hajime did, Akane wouldn’t even look at him in the eyes. A hot, burning fire seared through her veins.

“Akane, please.” he tried, with no results.

She didn’t even have to look at it, because she knew what it would say. It was his own fault for dying twice. The stupid idiot he was, trying to play the hero. Of course he had to be the one that did that, sacrificing himself for her three times. What an...idiot. Akane looked downwards, and closed her fist. Blood was seeping down her right wrist. She grimaced, and held onto the pain. As long as she felt pain, she was alive. She was alive, when Nekomaru was not. At least, he wasn’t present.

“It’s...fine.” She clenched her teeth, feeling the quiver in her lip betray her emotions. Damn it. She wanted to throw the closest object she could find into the monitor. Who cares if the other three would die for real? At least they’d be put out of their comatose state, that they would most likely never wake up from. Those three...weren’t like the others. That was what Hajime’s notebook had said, anyway.

“I didn't bring you here to let you down.” Hajime muttered. He was extremely quiet, almost as if he would collapse into thin air if Akane were to reach out and grab him.

“Then...why? Now I just know for myself…”

Hajime didn’t know how to respond for a moment. He glanced between Akane’s hunched over form and the monitor. “It’s not impossible.”

“That’s what I wanted to believe!” Akane snapped. “B-But…”

“Then just listen, okay?” Hajime put his hand on Akane’s shoulder, before she flinched backwards with a sneer.

“I’m...not goin’ weak on ya, am I, Hajime?” With her nose pointed down, Hajime didn’t exactly know what her expression was. She could be smiling, based on the almost sarcastic tone she carried.

“What?”

“I’m not...w-weak.” Akane groaned. “I don’t care what you think, damn it.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“You were...thinkin’ it, huh?” Akane finally met him in the eyes. The aura she gave off was truly ominous. If she wasn’t his friend already, Hajime would have grabbed a weapon for self defense.

“Uh, no…” Hajime slowly backed away.

“You’re such a bad liar! You should just tell me already!” In one motion, Akane pushed forward into Hajime’s chest, knocking him to the ground. Hajime collapsed with impact, letting out a final “oof!”

“Akane, what the heck?!”

“I’m definitely not letting you touch my boobs now!” Akane, standing proud above him, let out a fake smirk.

“Who said I wanted to touch your-“ Hajime forced himself up to his feet. “You’re being really frustrating.”

“You’re being even more frustratin’.” Akane huffed and crossed her arms. “You keep talking like Nekomaru’s gonna come back.”

Hajime thought it strange, how Akane was now acting the opposite of when she was in the killing game. There were her moments of rage and confusion, but keeping a positive and empty mind was one of her most envied traits. Now where was the Akane that had helped push them towards the victory line? Instead, she was almost close to bursting into tears. It was an awful sight.

In front of him, was an emotionally stunted and damaged young woman. With her strength complex, things could only go down from here.

“You keep saying he isn’t.” Hajime reaffirmed her.

“I just-I just don’t get it.” Akane said. “And you don’t either. You don’t get it at all!”

“Of course I get it. More than anyone, I do.” Hajime’s response was like ice. He dusted off his shoulder, no doubt thinking of  _her._

Akane took a moment to think about his response as she limped over to where Nekomaru lay. Seeing him so peaceful and content, so unlike his usual self...It felt like a branded iron was being stabbed into her ribs. Her nails grasped the glass, leaving marks as she stared at him with blinking eyes. Her face felt funny. The muscles in her cheeks hurt from clenching them too much. Back then, she hadn’t even thanked him. More than anything, it made her furious.

Hajime sighed. “If you would just look here.” He was pointing to the computer screen. Gray circles were under his eyes. He appeared more exhausted than he had ever before. Without answering him, Akane forced herself to look away from Nekomaru. The screen itself seemed the exact same. The feeling she got when she saw that Nekomaru’s heartbeat was the slowest, despite Nagito being last in the book’s list. A feeling of bubbling fear and anxiety was brewing deep inside in her soul. Why did Hajime want her to look at this? What was his end game?

“I know you looked at my notebook.”

“...Huh?!”

“So...I knew that you expected Nekomaru to be next.” Hajime said.

“Who said I looked at the notebook? That’s-That’s not true at all.” Akane sputtered.

“I saw you take it the night Peko came back.”

Without anything to lose, Akane shook her shoulders as she laughed. Although, she was laughing, there was an underlying toxin that lined her voice. “Oh. Well, you got me, Hajime!” There was no denying it. Either Hajime was incredibly attentive, or Akane was incredibly stupid. Maybe it was a bit of both.

“I’m not mad or anything…” Hajime muttered. “You deserve to know, after all.”

Akane chewed on the inside her cheek. “I didn’t wanna see that. It just makes me all confused.”

“If you would just listen, please.” Hajime paused. “Please, Akane.”

Akane hesitated, and thought about it. What more harm could come from the situation? Other than getting her pissed off, nothing else could really happen to her. “Fine.”

“Look here.” Hajime pointed once again at the screen. There were no changes this time. No text had flipped or no pictures had switched. Absentmindedly, Akane stared back at the smiling pictures of her sleeping friends. Well, maybe Nagito wasn’t apart of that category. In fact, Akane would rather him stay asleep.

But looking at Nekomaru’s happy profile had made her heart sink into her stomach. A cold, almost detached feeling crawled up her back. Hajime noticed her drastic change, and opened his mouth. “What I wanted to say, is that there is a chance, Akane.” He pulled Akane closer to the screen. “He’s still alive.”

“And he might stay like this.” Akane snapped. “Mikan said that, because of his stupid heart-”

  
“That doesn’t mean he can’t come back.”

Akane shook her head quickly. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying so desperately to let go of the emotions that chased her. She felt her instinct tell her to swing her fist and hit something. Anything at all. Though nothing happened. “I want to believe it.” She forced out a dry chuckle. She felt nothing.

“There is always a chance. As long as his heart is still beating, there is a chance.” Hajime said.

“Y-Yeah. But blind faith really won’t get us anywhere.” Akane would have felt bad if she wasn’t so bitter. His heart wasn’t good any how.

“And what about hope?”

“God, Hajime! You’re actin’ like Nagito right now!” Akane laughed. Nagito, just like Nekomaru, was also trapped in a sleep he might never return from. The thought was almost too frightening, it made her want to throw up.

“But I’m not wrong, am I?”

“Maybe not. But I…” Akane stopped herself from admitting her fears. “It’s really not...like Nekomaru to just sleep the whole damn time…!”

Hajime nodded with a small smile. “Heh, yeah.”

Akane, despite feeling miles weaker than she had before, tilted her head upwards. “He wouldn’t want me to just moan around and do nothing! No, he wouldn’t.”

Hajime beamed. “Now you get it…”

“Most importantly, I’m not weak. So don’t think I am!” With that, Akane forced herself out of the room. The smile that graced her features had now been wiped away as he ran from the pods. Sure, hope existed. Hope was a thing that Hajime liked, and she supposed she did too. But there a time and place for those kind of flowery thoughts. Of course, Akane would wait for as long as it took. She had already promised herself that she would thank Nekomaru for everything he had done for her. She did get it, what Hajime was trying to say. However, she just needed to be alone. She needed, more than anything, to get rid of the weak feelings that lingered still inside her, squirming like parasites.

Back home, if you ate the wrong thing, there were strong chances that you could get a tapeworm. Akane would scourge the food her siblings ate just to save them from such a menace. People in her hometown died everyday just from little things like that. With only limited food, many wouldn’t care to check their own morsels. It was a depressing fate for many, and a fate that Akane had narrowly avoided many times.

But if she had ever had a parasite inside her gut, she was pretty sure it would feel like this. Crawling and eating up inside her, taking her energy, starving her almost to death. Perhaps that little parasite was the idea of hope, or the fear that crippled her deep down inside.

As she was running and running away, escaping to nowhere, Akane stopped in front of her cabin. She opened the door and stepped inside. Slamming it behind her, she picked up a half empty can of beer off of the floor and started chugging as hard as she could. It bubbled in her mouth, and she spat it out before she choked on the liquid. It didn’t taste nearly as good as it used to…

Akane kept drinking. It seemed like hours until she had had five cans. She was immensely tired, worn, and beyond compromised. There were particles of sand still stuck to her feet. She could feel sweat trickling down her forehead. Sunlight that had leaked from the windows was starting to heat her face. In the end, Akane didn’t know truly why she ran away. She should have stayed and talked to Hajime more. She could have gotten more answers out of him.

She knew that if she just clung onto hope, like that guy Makoto, then she would feel a lot better. The thing though was, that Akane had held onto the hand of hope for so long, that she hadn’t realized she had been really longing to let go, if just for a silent moment of peace.

Questions that still raced through her mind wouldn’t let her rest. Events passed so quickly through her life that she had learned to live in the moment, never really taking anything for granted. People were temporary, gone the next morning by drugs or gang violence. Food was scarce. If you didn’t eat, then you would die. Home was short-lived, and wasn’t a place to really call her “home.” It was just a simple shack, falling apart by the seams.

But she saw everything now. Perhaps the life she had once lived wasn’t normal at all. That was why the others looked away and scolded her if she removed her shirt, or scarfed down food. They just weren’t used to her type of behavior. It was scary to them. And that was when she had an epiphany. Back home, where the only lives she watched out for were herself and her siblings’, Akane had never paid attention to others. Before this, she simply didn’t care to. But it was seeing the killing game, feeling the lives of her friends slip away, watching Chiaki become a lifeless shell of her former self...Akane had realized that life really was precious, and that she would cling onto it as long as there was a chance. A small chance was all it took.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhh i love nekomaru a lot so it was physically painful not being able to add him in the story for a long time. I guess the title of the story really is literal ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯¯\\_(ツ)_/¯¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	14. At Long Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ; D

 

Time slipped by like a brick through water. A few weeks was all it took to get Akane blasted drunk almost every night. She’d always wake up the same way, and throw up into the toilet. Her behavior didn’t go unnoticed either. Either Sonia, Peko, or Mahiru would check on her daily. Akane would eat with them, talk cheerfully with them at dinner and breakfast. It was just as soon as she was by herself, Akane turned self destructive. There was no beating around the bush: Akane had an addiction.

The reality of the situation only made things worse. Fuyuhiko understood completely, about being drawn to the bottle. Akane wasn’t alone, but the only one who could save her was herself. At least, her optimism and spirit still lingered.

But she had been thinking lately. That alone was dangerous, but it was nearing her brother Haruo’s birthday. Just thinking about him had brought her to a new low. It was between Nekomaru and her four brothers and sisters, that she felt as if she were about to snap at any given moment.

Damn them for letting her become weak.

Peko would try and ask Akane to hang out with her on Tuesdays, but eventually settled to bringing her food instead. Every Tuesday, the two would sit in Akane’s room and talk and eat. Of course, these conversations were mostly one sided. Akane had her habits still, but Peko did not really mind.

So life continued as normal. Well, as average as an eternity spent on Jabberwock Island could be, anyways. Akane would wake up hungover most of the time, she’d eat lunch, talk a bit with the others, sleep, and repeat. It was an endless cycle of boringness.

She woke up the next morning incredibly sick. Akane stood in the mirror and scratched her rear, then her back. Small leg hairs were growing. Her body seemed a bit more soft than usual. Damn it. She needed to train again.

Akane picked an oversized t-shirt from a clothes pile and slipped it on. It smelled like old ramen packets and mothballs. She breathed in the thick aroma. It was gross, yet succulent. Suddenly, with the craving of ramen noodles, Akane ran to the hotel.

It must have been midday, given how late she had slept in. She saw no one outside. It felt like a ghost town. Akane shivered a bit, and opened the doors to the lobby. Walking inside, she heard a plethora of voices. The others must have been eating together upstairs. She would just be a little late, is all. When walking up the stairs, she heard a few snippets of conversation.

“It was truly an honor.”

“That it was!”

“You guys wonder when Akane will get up?”

"Man, she's gonna flip."

“Ah, Akane…!”

“Um, I'm not sure yet.”

“She’s probably being drunk and pathetic again…!”

“Drunk and pathetic? Now, that’s rude.”

Today, there was something strange about their voices. Lilted bursts with excitement and anticipation, anxious chattering and joyful laughter. One of the voices, however, was one she could have sworn she would _never_ hear again. A shot of panic flew through her veins. She couldn’t move her legs up the stairs.

Gathering her remaining strength, Akane leapt forward a few steps  Right then and there, she couldn’t even speak, or move a single muscle. Her lips twitched only once, and she wondered if she was indeed, hallucinating. Surrounded by the remaining 12 students…was…

_God, she really was weak after all._

“AKANE!” Nekomaru laughed his usual, show stopping laugh. “Late as USUAL, I see?” It had been so long ago when she had heard it last, that Akane wasn’t sure if the Nekomaru standing in front of her was actually real. Perhaps, all along, they were still trapped in a computer program. Her legs felt wobbly. She couldn’t keep her back straight.

He was standing among the other 12, hands at his hips, as if he had never died. He wore simple clothes, the white tank top and sweatpants. Besides the gakuran and chain whistle that had vanished from his body, Nekomaru looked the exact same as he had before. Maybe he was a little older, but the same nonetheless...

“N-Nekomaru…?” The hope that she had held onto, no matter how false it had seemed at times, was the very thing that had brought him back. Well, maybe not on a technical level.She could barely even breathe. Tears that she hadn’t even wanted there were threatening to escape.“H-How…?”

Hajime moved a bit closer to Nekomaru, breaking the tension. “We tried knocking on your door, but we had to move fast.”

“The alarm had gone off too quickly.” Shohta, the Ultimate Imposter, said. It was rather strange how well he fit in.

“You must have been really drunk if you couldn’t even hear that!”  Ibuki said. “I would have brought my air guitar if I could!” She began to imitate a guitar solo. Akane stared at her aghast.

Sonia leaned her elbows on the table. “I am sorry for this abrupt intermission, Akane.”

Akane could only slowly move her head. “N-Nah. It’s fine…”

Fuyuhiko raised an eyebrow. “Hey, Akane. You okay?”

Akane saw Nekomaru talking to Mahiru, Mikan, and Peko. Though their conversation was muted, she could see him chuckling to himself about something. He rubbed Mikan’s head, laughing even harder when she blushed and squealed in surprise.

For the first time in a long while, Akane’s heart felt full. It was a full feeling, one that she would never want to run away from.It wasn’t weakness, but at the same time, had melted something deep in her subconscious. She smiled, “Yeah. I’m okay.”

**...**

 

The party this time was centered around the pool in the hotel’s courtyard. Everyone had been so surprised by the return of Nekomaru, that the party had been rather impromptu. The music had been loud, the hopes had been high, and Akane was content.

She had been closely observing Nekomaru all throughout the night, and noticed he was not as boisterous as he usually was. Oh, of course he was still foul-mouthed, extremely intense, and magnanimous as all hell, but there was just something off. He had to be shocked about his lost memories, did he not? But it was strange. He hadn’t mentioned anything about the situation they were in, about his memories, about Junko, or Chiaki…

He was just eerily upbeat, just like Usami had wanted. Worried that he would crack at any moment, Akane watched him front the water she swam in. A song played on the radio, that was Sonia’s choice. Hard rock wasn’t really the first thing that matched with the Ultimate Princess, but Nekomaru was digging it. Akane didn’t mind much.

Having people like Ibuki, Mahiru, and Nekomaru gone was like having the light and energy wash out of a lightbulb. Something so intact and full of electricity would be zapped away, broken in a millisecond. She just wasn’t even there yet, still confused to how suddenly he had just...appeared. No smokes and mirrors, just Nekomaru Nidai.

Amidst the party banter, Gundham was talking to Nekomaru. Akane prepared herself to dodge for any flying bodies, or broken limbs. “You have returned to a form of flesh, thanks to the natural order.”

“Yes, maybe so! But you probably aren’t here to talk about my body!” Nekomaru still smiled, and held out a hand to pat on Gundham’s smaller shoulders.

“No, I have no means to.”

“I know you must have won, right?!” Nekomaru asked. “AMAZING! You have triumphed over my techniques like no other!”

“A game of life and death is not meant to be won.” Akane guessed it was Gundham’s way of showing his regret of ending a life, even if that life was a robot at the time.

Nekomaru’s voice suddenly got lower. “But if killing me meant saving everyone...Then don’t assume I’m mad at you. That would be extremely petty!”

Gundham held his head high. “One must truly be a master of darkness if they are to defeat Gundham Tanaka. You...might have done so.”

“It was your hamsters-I mean, the Dark Devas that hit my goodnight button, right?!” Nekomaru laughed again. “INCREDIBLE! I would have expected nothing less of the Ultimate Breeder!”

Gundham was a bit taken aback, but smiled softly at the mention of his beloved pets. “They are...incredible.”

“For managing to defeat me, Gundham, your amount of fighting power must be through the roof...I am...proud of you. You saved everyone. There’s no shame in doing something like that” Nekomaru ruffled Gundham’s hair, destroying the swirl, and walked away. Gundham stood awkwardly by himself, not even fixing the damage to his beloved hair.

Akane sat in silence as she waded in the pool. She watched as Nekomaru talked to each of his former classmates, hugging each one tightly. It was a touching sight.

However, Akane had only said a few sentences to him. It must have been because they were so busy, right? It wasn’t because she was avoiding him at all. Mostly it was the situation itself, being so sudden and somewhat forced to throw a party at the last minute. That was why Akane went off by herself and swam in the deepest part of the pool. Her own mind hadn’t even fully recovered to the shock of such a reappearance.

Kicking off from the side of the pool’s wall, Akane pushed off to the other side. She listened for more conversation from Nekomaru, but heard almost nothing. Finally, she heard the almost predictable words fall out into the air.

“Hold on. I need to take a shit.” Nekomaru said. “I’ll be right back!”

There was a pause in the party banter. Hajime groaned before gently sighing. “Same old Nekomaru, I guess.”

Akane squinted at Nekomaru as he sauntered off to his cottage, away from the sound of the party. She waited a few minutes, maybe more, but he never came back. Never before had he taken such a long time before. Sighing to herself, Akane held onto the wall and pulled herself to the floor. Shaking a few water droplets off her, Akane ran off to the cottages and disappeared from the party, wearing nothing but a long t-shirt. 

She wanted to ask herself why she was doing this, checking up on him. There were no reasons to be worried anymore. With no motives, no one would murder or become murdered. No one would just...die. Nekomaru wouldn’t die, even with his bad heart. Would he? Akane didn’t want to think about it anymore.

His cottage door was slightly open, letting the yellow light shine on the wood. Akane couldn’t hear anything from inside, and so she got closer and closer to the source. Inside, she just saw Nekomaru pacing around the small room, picking up various items and examining them. He had a look of pure concentration, not even noticing Akane peering in through the crack. She almost complemented turning away, but gave in to her curiosity and cleared her throat.

“Um, what are you doin’?”

He jolted with surprise, but settled once noticing her. “Oh, nothing. Don’t tell me you were worried about me?”

“I just saw you were gone...and all your stuff is on the floor.”

“Well, hah...I was delving into each object to see if there were any bytes or whatever those are called…” Nekomaru was very serious about this, even if his intentions went over Akane’s head.

Akane slowly entered the cottage and stood beside him. Her heart was beating unusually fast. She didn’t know why. “What are you talking about, coach?”

Something in Nekomaru seemed to relax at the old nickname. “To see if we were still inside the game world, I was-”

“What the-? Nekomaru, we aren’t in the game world anymore!” Akane laughed at his expense.

“I know that! I was just making sure!”

“So you lied about goin' to the bathroom?”

“OF COURSE I DID! What do you think the others would say?” Nekomaru sighed. “And besides, I haven’t had much of an appetite, sadly.”

“You gotta eat, Nekomaru!”

“I know.” The look on his face was rather sad. Akane hated that expression, and longed to change it. “Truth is, life is rather disappointing when you don’t have a robot body anymore.”

What did that even mean? Why would he say something so strange and unusual? Struggling to cheer him up, Akane lightly punched him on the arm. “Why don’t we train together some time? I still gotta beat ya!”

While his eyes still contained a glimpse of poignancy, Nekomaru held a stern smile. “I’d like to see you try!” Based on the lack of energy he carried now, Akane guessed he wouldn't want to train with her anytime soon. She supposed she was okay with that. When Akane woke up, she was almost too emaciated to even walk. A few weeks to rest was beyond acceptable.

The brief moment of silence that followed his comment made Akane’s toes curl. How she longed to say something well meaning. She wanted to know what he thought of everything, of his opinions on their situations. She needed to know that he would be alright, and not be dead the next day.

But she couldn’t do anything except awkwardly rub her arm. She felt useless in that situation. Spicing up the conversation would be desired. But Nekomaru was back to looking around his cottage, at the planks and shower. Akane turned to leave, her hand resting on the doorknob. A guy like him needed to cool off  by himself. She understood, because she was the same way.

His voice stopped her. He must have turned around. “Oh, Akane…! Are you leaving already?”

“Well, yeah. You seem busy, and-”

“Nonsense! Sorry if I was a rude host earlier. Let me sit down so we can talk!”

“Wait, no! You don’t hafta-”

But he was already sitting down on the floor cross legged. He looked up at her with a big, expecting grin. How was she supposed to turn him down now? Resisting the urge to leave, Akane forced herself to sit down in front of him. She opened her mouth to speak, but said nothing. Nekomaru filled the silence with his own comments.

“So what do you think of all this?” He gestured with his hands, highly engrossed with the topic.

“I don’t really know. I woke up a year ago, so-”

“Holy shit! No one told me it was a year!” Nekomaru gasped. “All of this is so confusing! Too confusing!”

“Believe me! It was hard getting used to everything, and all of you guys bein’ asleep…” Akane paused, and finally said it. “I’m still mad at you, by the way.”

“Mad at me?!”

“For...dying again.” Akane mumbled. “Wasn’t even my fault that time.”

Nekomaru shook his head gravely. “It was for the greater good, Akane. All of you would have starved to death. Gundham and I made a-”

“I know all about that, okay? And I don’t give a crap! You still shouldn’t have died…!”

“But I’m right here!” Nekomaru chuckled.

“I thought you were gone forever!” She probably yelled it louder than it needed to be said, but it got the point across to Nekomaru. Akane felt her eyes brim with something wet, and with horror, she blinked a few times.

Nekomaru didn’t seem to notice. “I...didn’t think of that. I’m sorry.”

Akane fumbled around awkwardly, and then finally looked up at him again. “I missed you, okay? I-I don’t mean for that to sound _soft_ or nothing. Just-”

Nekomaru smiled warmly, deeply touched. He managed a laugh, observing her. “Who else was gonna train with you?”

“No. Not like that, not just that.” Akane murmured, looking away. “You’re my friend. I didn’t want you to go.”

“Akane…” He maundered, lifting a hand to his face. “I’m happy to see you too!”

Damn him for saying that _! Damn him!_ She didn’t know what was wrong with her heart. She smiled back at him, despite her pulse’s inability to calm down. She wasn’t stressed or even feeling that weak anymore. So why? Why was this happening to her?!

“A lot must have happened when I was in stasis.” Nekomaru thought out loud. “And I’m guessing what...I dreamt was all real?” His voice grew quiet again. It was rare to see him so lost in translation. Akane wondered if she was even allowed to see this side of him; quiet and melancholy and regretful.

“Whadda’ you mean?”

“Everything. The cities, the people, the death.” Nekomaru seemed terrified of what else he might have said next. “Don’t tell me...we actually did all of that? Those awful things?”

Akane nodded her head, wordless. Seeing her do so, Nekomaru laid his head in his hands, unable to comprehend the horrors he had once committed. Akane wondered how a person like him could actively behave in such a way. It shocked her, truly, that he had once ran by her side as a Remnant of Despair.

For a long time, Nekomaru didn’t say a thing. Akane might have thought he suddenly collapsed and died, if it weren't for those soft noises he made. How out of character he was acting...How dazed and off and fearful of himself he was. It confused Akane beyond belief. This wasn’t the Nekomaru she had known in Hope’s Peak Academy, or even during the killing school trip. Judging by the naked tears that slipped beneath his fingers, this was a man burdened by his own apprehension.

“Nekomaru?” She asked, but didn’t get an answer.

He still sat there. Mumbling one single sentence that got the point across. “...And...Chiaki?” He must have remembered, based on the sob that wracked his body a second later. Akane held her breath at the sight. Never before had she seen him...act like this.

That was when Akane couldn’t take it anymore, surging forward to wrap her arms around his body. She squeezed him tightly, curling his fingers in his tank top, placing her head on his shoulder. He acknowledged this, and slowly accepted the contact. Never before had she seen him so weak. It honestly broke her heart.

He was warm, and she could feel his heartbeat under her fingertips. It was also incredibly fast, just like her’s. She listened to him cry, and fought the urge not to cry too. Because he was back, and she was holding him. It all seemed too unreal, and Akane grimaced as she struggled to keep her facade. She needed to be strong for Nekomaru, like he was always strong for her. Back then, she would stay by her siblings’ side when they were in grief. She hadn’t left Ume when she was injured. So why leave him?

On one hand, she wanted to chastise him for acting so feeble, and on the other...she just wanted him to feel better. But this was Nekomaru Nidai, the Ultimate Team Manager! To behave so fragile and scared and broken, it horrified her. Because if even Nekomaru couldn’t handle his own actions, how could she? How could she even begin to comprehend what she had done?

“Nekomaru, what happened to you?” She asked, clumsily moving around him to adjust her position. He was still shaking, and god, was he not subtle about it.

“I’m sorry, Akane.” He whispered, “I don’t really get it at all, but…” Akane laid her hand tenderly on the top of his head. His hair was longer, too, and she liked how soft it was. Despite it looking really spiky, it was super silky. He noticed her petting it, and chuckled quietly, despite the situation.

“You don’t...hafta be sorry, okay? You just gotta…” Akane fumbled, “You gotta hold on! Don’t let go.” It was getting harder and harder not to cry. It was now that she realized how much she missed him.

Against her shoulder, she felt his breath fan against her shirt. He was smiling, only slightly. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks, and he muttered something almost too quiet to hear. Akane would be lying if she said she wasn’t crying as well. Those tears were just smaller in volume, but they were all the same.

“You survived, didn’t you?” Nekomaru asked.

She could only hum in confusion. He could only mean that she survived the killing game. “Yeah, I hung in there for ya.” If she was being completely honest, she wasn’t sure how she remained. She tried to fight Monokuma twice, and injured herself countless times. She would have starved if it weren’t for Gundham and Nekomaru. Her stupidity had almost cost her life so many times. Managing to make it to the end and surpass Junko Enoshima, was the luckiest she had ever felt.

He barely made a sound. “I’m glad.”

Struggling to keep it together, Nekomaru slowly pushed himself to his feet. Akane felt a small feeling of betrayal. She wouldn’t ever admit it, but she liked holding him. He was the quietest Akane had ever seen him. It was an alarming realization, that even though she saw him as her best friend, she hadn’t seen most of him. Every strong bridge had its breaking point, every tree would one day fall. Akane just didn’t understand why he decided to crumble now, with her in the room.

“Don’t worry about me, Akane.” He said gingerly. “But...I appreciate your concern.”

“I...I wasn’t worried.” Akane muttered, watching him as he walked over to the door and cracked it open. Nekomaru stood still, as if he was complementing whether to return to the outside. If Akane was him in that moment, she would have just stayed inside and eaten chips. But Nekomaru was resilient. He had his own idea of responsibility that someone like Akane couldn’t begin to comprehend.

He looked back at her with a audacious grin, as if he was doubting her. However, he laughed it off, shaking his head. “That incident was just something to bounce me back, Akane! A little cry isn’t going to hurt Nekomaru Nidai!”

Akane walked closer, almost hesitant to talk again. Surely, she hit him playfully on the arm. “Nothin’s gonna bring you down, coach. Well, maybe me.”

Nekomaru scoffed, back to normal. “Again, I’d like to see you try!” They walked out into the night together, smelling the roasted party dishes in the air. Akane had gorged herself earlier, but another plate wasn't going to hurt, right? While returning to the party, Nekomaru rolled his eyes at the knowing noises of Akane’s stomach.

She was still near him when she said it, barely audible around the party music and celebration. “Nekomaru, thank you.” What she had said was so small, so minuscule, that Nekomaru had to do a double take before fully understanding her words.

“Thank me?”

“Look, I...I don’t know how to say it.” Akane mumbled. “But I...I’m so glad you chose to train me.”

Nekomaru looked as if he might have started to cry again. “Akane, you chose me.” He was right. The first time she had seen him at school, there was potential.

Akane hummed, quietly. “Yeah...you’re right! But having you around...and you being there for me, and-“

It was as if a weight had been lifted off of her chest. It had only taken about a year to do so. Nekomaru looked back at her, genuinely surprised. “That’s just what managers do! There’s nothing special about it!”

“I don’t know! I don’t know how to say it, okay?!” Akane started to breathe heavier. Her chest felt light, her eyes were avoiding looking at Nekomaru, and she just had to stop her hands from shaking.

Nekomaru noticed this, and cupped his larger hands over her own. It probably meant nothing more than a friendly gesture, and that made it worse. “Akane, you’re shaking all over.”

“I know.” Her voice cracked again.

“I’ll need to fetch my jacket to put it over you! That way, you won’t shiver!” He shook his head, smiling and patting her on the shoulder, before running off to the poolside. The feeling of his hands lingered longer than she thought it would.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeahhhhhhhh babey she got her wish... anyways nekomaru is honestly precious why is he so underrated it makes me cry. I'm thinking the schedule of every two days I'll add a chapter or two to not clog the ao3 tags and also not to be annoying af. And once again, thanks for reading and joining me on these wacky misadventures!


	15. It's Just a Bad Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's rough, buddy.

A sudden noise shook the world. Her arms ached with fresh pain, bleeding from every possible wound. Akane smiled at the feeling of total nothingness. Total despair filled every void, every crevice. She was all alone, surrounded by corpses and fire and gore.

Akane opened her eyes and saw buildings collapsing from their structures. She heard a baby crying, several meters away. Kneeling to the ground, Akane longed to eat something. Her stomach was constantly craving new delectables to try. Mud, bits of metal, trash, skin. Even though she would double down and throw up an hour later, the feeling of gluttony was too difficult to overcome.

Akane snatched something long and fleshy off of the ground. It smelled awful, and it must have been lying there for quite a few days. The arm was separated from the human host, and was torn up in several ways. Growling to herself, Akane leaned into the limb to bite into it, and was stopped.

“Disgusting.” A deep, masculine voice stopped her. It was Nekomaru, aura red and impressive. He snarled down at her, kicking the arm away. Still, he did not harm her, dragging Akane up to her feet. “Don’t eat that!”

“Delicious.” She answered him. “I’m...hungry.” She was hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry-

Nekomaru didn’t stop her when she ran to pick up the arm again. He looked away as she tore into it, leaving nothing but bone. Right after she had consumed it, Akane hunched over the debris covered streets and puked her guts out. The vomit wouldn’t stop. She couldn't stop. All was left was a sickening feeling of despair, and god, did she love it.

Nekomaru eventually dragged her away, and the next, few hours went by quickly. Akane would stare at the open, red sky and wonder what happened to her siblings. She wanted to see them again. She wanted to show them how great she felt. They would never go hungry again.

Peko and Fuyuhiko eventually joined them. Fuyuhiko was limping when he arrived, blood seeping out of an open wound on his face. His eye was completely gone, and in his hands, was a single, blue one. Peko smiled as he shoved Junko’s eye into his socket, jolting back in a sudden pain. Fuyuhiko screamed with anguish, longing to see the despair with her sight.  The four of them stood in a circle together, not speaking. The cries of the innocent tormented Akane, and she longed to shut them up. Running away from the others, Akane sprinted to the source of the disturbance.

Ahead of her, was an older woman. She was rounder than most, weak in the legs. In her arms, she cradeled a small child. She must have been a mother. Akane smiled at the woman, who let out a shrill cry in fear. She scrambled to her feet, holding the small child to her chest.

Catching the woman had been easy enough. Peko had come to her aid, stopping the woman with a severe cut to the calf. She fell to the ground, screaming in pain. The child rolled off of her, babbling nonsense to himself and his mother. Tears dripped down his face, mixed with dirt and blood.

She begged them not to hurt the child, but all humans had to see the light of despair. It might have seemed unfair to some, but that was life now. Life was unfair and cruel and tormented. Nothing was safe. Not one living being could escape the jaws of fate. That was so.

So Akane watched as Nekomaru stomped the woman’s brains into the concrete. He was especially ferocious doing so, yelling with intensity. She died almost instantly, leaving the small boy to fend for himself. He called for the “mommy” he had just lost. He ran into the red mist, coughing up blood. Akane pursued him with Peko, pushing past old cars and potholes and broken tires.

She ran past a few monokumas as they rushed to slice an innocent passerby. The screams of agony were the only telling that the man had indeed, died. Only a gurgle of blood was heard, and then...silence. Akane kept going after the boy, for he reminded her of someone she had almost forgotten. Haruo and Satoshi, her little brothers. The spirit of Haruo and the rationality of Satoshi prodded her like a stick to a bear. That little boy...needed a big sister right now. He needed someone to take care of him.

An almost paternal sense trickled through her body and Akane heard the tell tale noises of a child sobbing in panic. He must have been living in his worst nightmare. How the poor child had been subjected to such a despair-filled atmosphere. How he had seen his mother killed before him...She would help him, make him feel better.

She found the child hiding amidst a pile of bodies, picking him up by the collar. Though she grinned at him, he screamed at her. She didn’t get it. Why was he so unhappy? He was experiencing despair, after all.

She tilted her head at him, only getting a small whimper in return. “H..Hah...I…” He was so small, and he was struggling to speak. He was also a bit chubby, round like his mother. His cheeks were red and his hair was golden brown. What a sweet child he was.

“Don’t worry, lil one.” Akane hushed, bringing him close to her chest. He struggled to escape, but she held him firm.

“M-M….” The child could barely talk. Snot was running all the way down Akane’s skin. “H-Help...Help m-m-me!...”

“Help you?” She whispered. “I’ll help you. Don’t you worry.”

“N-No...No.”

“Why ‘no?’ You’re not makin’ any sense.” Akane said. She couldn’t get over how small he was, and how much he was like her siblings. She...missed them She missed them so much. They had to see her now. Where were they? She wanted to-

“M-M...ommy? M-Momma!” He must have not seen the whole picture, of his mother’s destroyed corpse lying on the asphalt. He must have looked away. In his mind, she might have been still living. Such was the will of hope. To keep him going seconds before his own demise.

“Mommy is gone.” Akane started to comb her fingers through the boy’s hair. He screamed against her, caught in a trap that he could never escape. He started wailing to the point where he would never shut up. Pushing away, only to be pushed back into Akane’s arms, the little boy screamed for anyone at all to hear his cries.

Peko eventually caught up to her, and stared at the scene with confusion. “Akane, we must leave.”

The child was getting rather annoying, so Peko’s excuse could work. Akane straightened out the child in her arms, gazing into his eyes one last time. They were blurry and his lips were shaking with genuine confusion. He was trembling. A weakling like him would have to be weeded out like the rest.

So without a second thought, Akane shrugged to herself and threw the boy as hard as she could into a nearby-

**...**

  
For not the first time, Akane woke up screaming. The first thing she did when she awoke was throw her pillow against the wall. Breathing ragged and heavy, Akane pressed her hands to her forehead and yelled as loud as she could. Why did she have to remember that? Why? Even now, she could feel the blood dripping down the pavement, and under her shoes. Reality was slipping apart slowly by her fingertips. She wasn’t sure how long she was supposed to take it.

Akane pulled herself to her toilet and threw up for what seemed like hours. She could still taste the bare skin, rotted and dirty on her tongue. She was just disgusting. She was someone who shouldn’t have gotten a second chance. She didn’t deserve to live, knowing what she had done. She didn’t even deserve to survive the killing game. Why was she here? Why did people want to give her a chance?

Akane felt naked, bare, without anything to hide. She hated it, even if she was just by herself in a cold bathroom. The toilet smelled awful, and she lurched forward to vomit some more. It hurt her throat. Her fingers couldn’t stop clenching onto the porcelain bowl. She was exhausted, and she just woke up. In that moment, she just wanted to die. She didn’t care how much time she had left, or anything else. She just wanted to wither away into nothingness. That way, she would never have to think again.

For a long while she sat there with her head crushed against the toilet. She was breathing hard, holding back tearful gasps. She had reached her limit. The things Nekomaru had remembered; they must have been similar to hers. How could someone deserve to keep living when they had ended lives so brutally and smiling as they did so? Smiling? How could she-

A wave of anger overcame her, and she brought her fist down upon the toilet in a fury. The impact left a small crack on the bowl. Her hand was starting to bleed, having gotten cut from porcelain. Akane leaned back against the wall. She couldn’t stop herself from sinking once again to the tile. She couldn’t keep going like this. Her siblings….What about her siblings? Why did this have to happen to her? Why couldn’t she just be home? Why here? Why now?

A knock was placed briskly on the door. She didn’t answer, but it appeared to be Sonia. “Akane, you must come quick! Teruteru is about to awake!”

Akane blinked drearily to snap herself out of it. Another friend was going to wake up. That was good, right? Akane wanted to feel happy, but her energy was just disappearing after the fiasco not a moment ago. Teruteru, the ultimate chef, was about to come back. Only two remained. One by one, her friends had managed to overcome despair. It was what Chiaki would have wanted.

Akane knew Chiaki, Nekomaru, or even her siblings wouldn’t want her to sit by her toilet and force tears away. She knew that, but...She just couldn’t do it. Time after time again, life had come and bit her in the ass for believing that fighting was the only answer. Fighting and food, and maybe family. Those had been her principles in the selfish life she led. She kind of hated herself for it.

It turned out that the weakest person Akane knew was herself.

**...**

  
Teruteru had been difficult. In life, Teruteru had been a fantastic cook, a charming socialite, and a terrible pervert. When he finally woke up from a previous grave in deep fried lava, it was like he was a completely different person, He could only think of one thing: Mama.

“T-The Hanamura Diner…?” Teruteru stammered, feeling around for anything at all. “Where is it? W-What happened to it?”

All 14 of them were back at the hotel’s lobby. Teruteru had barely even spoken, just mumbled about specific subjects and cried for what seemed like hours. Akane kind of felt sorry for him. She had never had a good relationship with her parents. To see someone love their mother so much, it upset her. She hoped that maybe, Teruteru’s mother was alive someplace. Maybe they could even meet again.

“Teruteru, you’ll be alright.” Sonia calmly dropped a hand to his hair.

“Mama…” Teruteru whispered frantically. “Wh-What did I do to Mama?”

It was the most prominent words he had said. He said it clearly, and without weakness. There was no point asking that question if he himself knew the answer. Akane stepped backward as she felt her heart drop to her stomach.

“I’m sorry, Teruteru.” That was all Hajime could say. The rest of them all were clearly speechless. It was at times like these that Akane felt the despair leaking into the atmosphere. After the damned dream she had earlier, she wasn’t sure she could handle that feeling anymore. It made her sick to her stomach.

There was no party held that night. In fact, Teruteru hadn’t even moved from his spot. Shohta had to keep him as calm as possible, and Teruteru could not stop apologizing. The two of them were now in the dining hall, as Akane discreetly tried to sneak a bottle of vodka. The others must have been quietly sitting in their cabins.

Teruteru was beginning to break again, after a long moment of silence. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry-”

“I’m not angry. I’m just glad it was me, and not him.” Shohta said gently. “But I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

  
“Why-Why Nagito? I w-was…” Teruteru had his head in his hands. He was not the person that Akane had known. In fact, he hadn’t mentioned food once. Or maybe, Akane didn’t know him very well. Maybe none of them really did.

“That was my job, plain and simple.”

“I-I...You weren’t supposed to die.” Teruteru whimpered. “A-And now...Mama-” He broke into a new wave of tears. Akane forced herself away from the alcohol cabinet and over to the boys.

“Aw, Teruteru...Don’t cry. We all got ya now.” Akane tried to give him her best smile. She could feel Shohta stiffen from the sudden contact. Akane pat Teruteru’s shoulder firmly and sat down.

“What I d-did...I just can’t believe it. I r-refuse to believe it!” Teruteru snapped, and forced himself away from Akane and Shohta, breathing heavily.

“What...did he do?” Akane asked Shohta.

He shook his head. “I’m not sure I should be the one to say it.”

Akane didn’t want to believe it either, no matter how much she didn’t know. All she knew is that Teruteru would probably never see his mother again. Akane felt her chest squeeze harshly. A tight pain resonated. Betrayal. She felt betrayed by her own hope. Hope, such a cruel thing it could be.

“Teruteru...I’m so sorry.” Akane could only mumble out the words.

“I’m...the one who should be sorry.” Teruteru said. His accent was especially prevalent today.

“You should get some rest.” Shohta murmured, pushing Teruteru away and walking him down the stairs. Curiously, Akane followed them. Shohta eventually picked the little chef up, as he was not that heavy, probably. The three of them walked all the way to Teruteru’s old cottage.

“I will n-not be able to sleep, Byakuya.” Teruteru stammered out slowly. “Or w-wait...You are not Byakuya, are you?” He took note of the black hair and unique features.

Shohta nodded. “Not anymore. Now, why don’t you sleep?” Akane stood perched against her own cottage as she watched the rather sweet scene. Who would have guessed that a guy like Shohta was so kind, and so nurturing. Akane was glad to see this side of him, even if she was eavesdropping.

“A-Alright. I will. Thank you.” Teruteru nodded and closed the door, leaving Shohta to stand in a complete, peaceful silence.

Akane couldn’t help her interest. She had to find out more, so she trotted over to Shohta when he went to his own cottage, turning the knob. “Hey, uh, Shohta! What’s up?”

“You followed us.” Shohta replied briskly.

“Yeah, I did. What’s with the attitude?”

  
“I didn’t mean for there to be attitude.” Shohta leaned against his door. It creaked slightly. He managed a small smile at Akane. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”

Akane shrugged. “W-Well...I’m just kinda worried about Teruteru. That poor guy. He used to be so fun, and kind of weird.”

“It’s unfortunate, yes.”

“Yeah. I wish he could cook for himself. That could make him feel better!”

  
Shohta squinted. “And you’re not just saying this because you’re hungry?”

“What? Do you really think I’m just about that? Give me a break!” Akane huffed. “But I mean, if he asked me if I wanted some-”

“He is a great chef. But honestly, I don’t think he’s going to want to cook for a long time.” Shohta looked towards Teruteru’s cottage.

“Why not?”

Shohta then changed his gaze to directly her. His eyes were cold, bitter like ice. She wasn’t sure what to do with a person like him. On one hand, she was impressed by him. By his strength and inner power. Not to mention his eating abilities, but...He was rather frightening. There was always a feeling with him that you were a single rabbit, and he was the hawk. He could take her down any second. She… did not like that.

“W-What? Don’t just keep your answers from me! Or else, I’m gonna beat the crap outta ya!” Akane’s voice went unanswered into the open air. The sky was dark, painted with beautiful stars. It reminded her of the nights where Miki and Ume would count them to see just how many stars could be in the sky. One night, they had reached to about 367. The two of them gave up quickly afterward.

“If you remind Teruteru about this tomorrow, then…”

“There’s no way I’m that terrible. C’mon, man.” Akane pouted.

“Very well….” Shohta said. “Back when he was a remnant of despair, Teruteru cooked and ate his own mother.”

Akane could not stop herself from clasping her own hand to her mouth. “Wh...What?”

“I could not believe it either, to be honest with you. I mean…” Shohta paused. “We have all done horrible things. I can’t even bring myself to recall mine.”

“But to kill your own mom…” Akane was not even sure she could have done something like that.

“It’s horrific. I can’t even imagine what he feels right now.” Shohta was till disturbed, but cut quickly to the point. “Only us two know. Don’t go around and tell the others.”

“I won’t. I w-won’t, okay?”

“I trust you. You’re fine.” The former imposter turned his back to her. “Do you remember your past, Akane?”

Akane froze in place. Sadly, yes. She remembered everything. While some had bits of their memory wiped, Akane was positive she knew everything that had happened while she was a despair.The dreams she had almost every night were proof of that. It seriously put a weight on her conscious sweetly telling her “You shouldn’t be alive.” More than anything, she wanted those voices to stop. She just-

“Akane?”

“Y-Yeah. I remember all of it.” Akane held her hand to her lips. She began to chew on her fingernails.

“I do too. I still don’t know what to do.” Shohta whispered. “I don’t know how long I can keep living with all of this...guilt. I need to make sure he’s alright.”

“Who?”

“Ryota Mitarai. If he is alive, then perhaps I did one thing right.” From what he had said, Shohta appeared to truly care about this Ryota. From the bottom of her heart, Akane hoped that this one boy could be alive. Not like Teruteru’s poor mother.

“I hope so too. I...want you to find him.” Akane didn’t like this feeling hindering her deep inside. It clogged up her throat. It was beginning to become difficult to speak.

“How can we? We’re stuck on Jabberwock Island.” Shohta shook his head firmly. “As much as I would like to agree with you, I don’t have all the facts myself.”

“I just know...I got a feeling, okay?” Akane said. “I know, based on my gut.”

“Your gut?”

“Yeah! Just you wait, Shohta.” Akane walked further away from Shohta, yawning to herself. And she wasn’t lying either. Maybe, she could finally see her siblings again. She also had a hitch that maybe, they had survived the Tragedy. When she left the former imposter and opened the door to her cottage, Akane flopped onto her mattress. There, she began to pray.

She hadn’t prayed since she was at least 12 years old. She had stopped simply because she had no faith anymore. If there truly was a god who was listening, then why had he allowed her family to continue suffering? Why did he allow those men to be around and try to grope her? Why didn’t he just zap their problems away?

But this time, she couldn’t hold back. She laid there, with her eyes shut and hands shaking. She prayed to anyone at all, whoever might be listening. She didn’t believe, she couldn't. Not anymore. But....she just had to try. If there really was a god, then maybe just this once, he could help her. Akane murmured softly into her pillow, whispering her worries away. Somewhere out there, she hoped that someone was listening. Because if she could see her siblings once again, and if they were really alive, then perhaps there was a god all along.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm really interested in what these kids got into as despairs. honestly it fascinates me, but in a not so good way... like its horrible what they did but i gotta know more. Deciding some of the things they did was actually really hard for me to do, because I love all these good kiddos (but theyre not really good kiddos?) BUT hhhh we need the angst i guess!!!!!!!!


	16. The Quiet Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Prince of Hope wakes up. Akane and Hiyoko fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little warning: This chapter will have some minor allusions to self harm. It is not explicit about it, but I just thought I'd be careful. BTW i don't really mind Komaeda, but Akane hates him so i gotta be accurate I guess.

 

Weirdly enough, Nagito had a woman’s hand. It was grotesque, and everyone except Hajime had gasped when they saw it. From what Akane could understand, it was Junko’s hand sewn onto Nagito Komaeda’s arm. He was a peculiar one to wake up, being the last one and all. His eyes had been glazed over, an his words slurred to a point where almost no one could understand him. Hajime, who had pulled Nagito out of the pod, stared at him in disbelief.

Nagito didn’t speak for a long time. He turned around several times, fully examining the new world around him. All of his former classmates, who either hated him or were scared of him, backed away slowly. All Akane knew was that he was the bastard that got Chiaki deleted. She was gone forever, and it was all his fault. She held back the urge to lunge at him and tear his hair out. Sure, his intentions were good, but Akane could not think straight. She felt someone grip her arms on both sides. She saw Fuyuhiko on one end, and Nekomaru on the other.

“Don’t try it, Akane!” Fuyuhiko muttered. “We know he’s crazy, but we don’t need this right now.”

“Then don’t stop me, dammit.” She struggled to move out the way, but Nekomaru blocked her way with a bicep that was way too big for his own good. He grabbed her shoulder and held her there.

“Akane, don’t become reckless!” he said.

Soon enough, the others went around Akane to shield her from leaping at Nagito. She struggled in the grip, trying to bite or kick or anything at all. She could still feel how her hands perfectly fit around his throat. It burned, and burned, and burned. “Lemme go! Lemme go!”

“He’s still really creepy, but stop it!” Mahiru chirped.

“I’m sorry, Akane-” Sonia cried, but she was stopped by the familiar, raspy tone of someone they had known since years before.

“In the end, you all have not resorted to despair? Hah…” Nagito finally opened his mouth to speak a coherent sentence, only one that Akane did not understand.

“Nagito-“ Hajime warned. It was a good guess that everyone was done with the “hope” nonsense.

“But to throw away what we used to be, it’s…” Nagito breathed in deeply, cupping his hand across his cheek. “It’s hopeful, absolutely brimming with hope!”

At once, every person except him groaned with mutual disappointment.

“Ew, gross.” Hiyoko snarled. “Why don’t you just go back into your pod and die?”

Sonia gasped, “Hiyoko-”

“Die? I guess I do deserve it...” Nagito quipped. He wore a sad smile upon his face. Akane never wanted to punch someone more in all of her life.

“Listen, bastard. We aren’t going to fucking take it easy on you this time.” Fuyuhiko turned away, and looked to Peko with a face of exasperation. She gripped onto his shoulder to calm him.

“Why wouldn’t you? I understand.” Nagito said. Beside him, Hajime was experiencing an inner dilemma.

“Foolish creature, how you avoid your own trial by the clutches of death.” Gundham smirked shadily. No one knew what he meant by that.

“B-but what about h-his hand? That looked extremely…” Mikan was the first to join Nagito at his side. Her fingers shook as she brought up Junko’s hand and examined it. “Wh-Why…My goodness.”

“I must have been a little obsessed, huh.” Nagito smiled a little too innocently.

“A little? You went batshit, man!” Kazuichi screamed.

“I, uh, second that!” Nekomaru bristled beside her. Akane sighed and crossed her arms. She looked at Komaeda right in his eyes. Her muscles were clenched, her eyes narrowed and sharp. She was not going to give in to him. But he just smiled back at her and waved with his good hand. She couldn’t let him win. Not now. Not ever.

“W-Why...why does Nagito have...her hand…?” Mikan looked as if she was about to pass out. She was horrified, recalling the things Junko had done to her for her own amusement and despair. Akane remembered when Mikan had to get cut something out of her own belly when she had woken up. Apparently she had cut herself open and put Junko’s ovaries inside of her. It was a desperate attempt of “having Junko’s children”. More than anything, Akane couldn’t help but pity Mikan. Someone as hurt and delicate as her needed to be protected.

“Hey, be careful touching it, Mikan! It’s probably covered with germs!” Ibuki called, exaggerating the context.

Mikan eeped, “D-Don’t worry! I will b-be as careful as possible-“

“Get the Junko germs and fucking die for all I care!” Hiyoko’s voice was not the one of a bully, but rather like the drunkards that used to hunt around Akane’s childhood home. She thought of Ume’s broken body, lying on the dirty kitchen floor.

“Shut the hell up and leave Mikan alone.” Akane blurted out, louder than she meant to. The room went silent. In an instant, Nagito had his moment swept from him. Even he was surprised when he usually managed to be on top of everything. Hajime stood by Nagito and crossed his arms with frustration.

“What did you say, dumbass?” Hiyoko asked. She was just as surprised as everyone else.

“Hiyoko!” Mahiru was nearly shoved aside, and she was immediately ticked off. “Ugh, you guys!”

“A-Akane, it’s okay...really.” Mikan sobbed. “I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t! You don’t deserve it! Just stop!” Akane grabbed the sides of her head and bowed between her legs.

“Akane, you’re doing it again.” Nekomaru warned her, and she surged away, fists swinging by her sides.

“I don’t give a flying crap, Nekomaru!” Akane screamed at him, and would have felt a little bad and if it weren’t for the disappointed shake of the head that resulted from it.

“I don’t know if you forgot, which isn’t that hard to believe for you, but Pig Barf murdered me.” Hiyoko snarled only with malice.

“I-I’m sorry!” Mikan wailed. She was now on the floor, whimpering like a lost puppy. It was pathetic.

“We’ve all killed each other! You shouldn’t just pick on someone who can’t fight back.” Akane snarled, fading Hiyoko. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She didn’t know why she had never defended Mikan before. It was like a light switch, a red light for the extra sibling she never had. “So why don’t you just fight me instead!?”

Hiyoko wasn’t swayed. “Since when did you stop shoving your face with food and replacing it with shit?”

“All you eat is gummies, so at least I’m eatin’ better!” Akane growled. Now, she really, really wanted to punch something!

“Aw, I hope all that hard thinking is gonna pop your tits, you stupid bitch!”

“ENOUGH!” A single, angry voice shook the room. When they all turned to see Hajime, everyone went still. “I’ve had enough of your shit. Both of you.” He was extremely tired, limbs and body heavy all over. His eyes were sunken in, his breath was slightly convulsing.

Suddenly, the hot feeling of fresh guilt was almost too unbearable to handle. Akane felt every pair of eyes locked into her own. Hiyoko was very pissed, and Akane knew she had made a new enemy today. She hadn’t wanted this. Really, she hadn’t. In fact, she kind of liked Hiyoko. Nekomaru sighed behind her, and Akane rubbed her arm in shame.

“Hajime…” Akane started, but Hajime cut her off. Akane gazed at all of her friends. She used to be so happy-go-lucky. What happened to her? Starting fights and meaningless drama? Defending a former murderer? She was a former murderer as well? Who even was she?

“She started it!” Hiyoko cried.

“I don’t give a damn.” Hajime snapped. “Go to your cabins or something!”

Akane’s fingers twitched. “What the hell?”

“You’re not our dad! Someone’s got some daddy issues-“ Hiyoko’s short giggle was turned off by the sharp crack of Hajime’s metaphorical whip.

“Now, before you interrupt Komaeda’s return anymore, why don’t you just go?” Hajime was the most stern Akane had seen him in a long, long time. Beside him, Nagito wore a face of peaceful confusion. A slight smile turned at his lips, most likely humbled by Hajime. Forcing herself to obey his order, Akane shuffled out of the room and ran away across the island. She ignored Hiyoko, who followed her out.

Still in the room with the others, Nagito blinked several times before peering at each of his former classmates. "Huh. So I'm a little confused."

"Y'know, I don't even blame you." Hajime said. "You, uh...doing okay?" There was an awkward pause as Nagito thought to himself. The others sat and watched in an even tenser silence. 

"I've...still got a few questions. Why don't you all give me a tour?" Nagito smiled at ease with himself, that mask of peacefulness coming to invade the room. He was a wild card, yes, but he was a wild card that they had to get used to. Mikan twiddled her fingers together, realizing that she hadn't wrapped her bandages onto her arms today. She held her breath and silently left, leaving the friendly voices in the room.

The now-grown Hiyoko was heading off to the beach to probably stomp crabs. She shot Akane one last middle finger and skipped away.

Akane was simply fuming, and she didn’t really know why. Truth be told, she wasn’t that angry at Hiyoko. Of course, everyone had to have gotten annoyed at her sometime in the past. But Akane did not know what came over her. Before, she used to mind her own business. She didn’t even care to remember names, for God’s sake.

All she knew was that she was right. Hiyoko, however stressed or even betrayed she might have felt, was absolutely wrong. Undeniably wrong. In fact, she was so wrong that Akane would show her later, with her fists. Well, maybe not with her fists. Even though, that was extremely tempting.

Mikan was a poor soul that Akane pitied. It was a shame that she never stood up for herself, even more so that no one else would defend her. She had seen it too many times. She had seen it before in families that crumbled away in the alleyways, and in fragile victims that laid waste in the dust. Mikan was someone that she did want to help. Maybe it was just her delusion from being trapped on a tropical island, but Akane could have sworn that something strange was happening to her. It made her feel disgusting and weak, but she couldn’t help but keep it inside.

So she ran home, slamming the door so hard it jiggled in its frame and bounced back open. She didn’t even care to close it, stomping inside cartoonishly. Fuming, she found an almost empty bottle of liquor underneath her pillow. She twirled around with the glass still to her lips, and-

Mikan was standing near the doorway. She was nervously twiddling his fingers to distract herself. A few, harsh scars laid upon her hands and arms. They were a kind Akane had never seen before. They seemed to be there from weeks ago.

“What happened to your arms?!” Akane asked, walking closer and setting the bottle to the floor.

“Eep!” Mikan jumped at least 2 feet in the air. “A-Akane, h-hello! I’m sorry if I’m intruding-“

“Nah, you’re fine.” Akane flopped down on the floor and looked up at the visitor. “What’s up?”

“W-well, I have never really said something like t-this before…” Mikan appeared as an awkward blade of grass, lonely and dancing in the wind.

“Aren’t ya gonna sit down or something?”

“O-Oh…?! If you are alright with that.” Mikan humbly put herself beside Akane. Akane could hear her heartbeat from where’d she lay.

“Yeah...I’m alright with that.” After Akane spoke, an extremely uncomfortable silence filled the atmosphere. Mikan started shaking even more.

“I-I just...wanted to say...thank you.”

Akane couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why thank me?”

“I-I...no one has really done that...before.” Mikan sputtered, tears beginning to prick her eyes. “Especially because of all the horrible t-things I-I’ve done! I don’t deserve it…”

“I’ve done crappy things too, ya know. That doesn’t mean you gotta get picked on!” Akane grinned.

“U-Um, Akane! You’re too kind, really!” Mikan gave a wobbly smile.

“No one has called me kind before.”

“Then...I’m glad I-I was the first one.” Mikan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was very beautiful, if not a little bruised and battered in places. Akane didn’t understand how the girl hated herself that much. She had a lot of good qualities, but they would be washed down by Hiyoko’s insults or her own insecurities.

But Mikan was wrong. Akane was not kind. Sure, she had a heart. But everyone had at least a little bit of a heart. Even Fuyuhiko, who had started out as a reclusive hothead, was who he was today. Akane could say with confidence that someone like him had a kind heart. Akane just didn’t. She was too caught up in everything else to even think about such an idea.

“It ain’t true. You don’t gotta say things that aren’t true.” Akane muttered. “I just had a feeling that you needed help.”

“B-B-But...Akane…”

“Just seein ya like that, it made me think of my sister.”

Mikan gasped, “A-Ah, a sister?”

“Yeah. Her name was Ume.” Akane smiled softly. “You and her were super different, but...I just got that feelin, is all.”

“I bet she was wonderful.” Mikan said softly as ever.

“Yeah, they were. All of them.” For once, Akane began to think. One single thing that bothered her was that she felt as if she could only remember certain events at a time. She remembered her siblings, but only a few memories per week. It was like her brain, or the Neo World Program had shut them off. But they would come back, right? They’d come back!

Another sweet silence filled the room. Akane’s eyes darted to Mikan. “So, you didn’t answer my question!”

“H-Huh?”

“What happened to your arms?! Did you like, fall down the stairs or something?”

“U-Um, well…” Mikan bowed her head. She was ashamed of something Akane was clueless to. “Falling down the stairs would p-probably bruise me, not cut me.”

“Cut you? You got in a fight?! How come you’re getting into fights and not me?!”

  
“A-AH! Akane, you shouldn’t worry about m-me. It wasn’t a fight!” Mikan wailed. “Y-You really don’t have to-”

In one strong motion, Akane grabbed Mikan’s wrist and examined it closely.

“A-Akane…!”

“Yeah, yeah...These aren’t ordinary cuts. I’m not smart like Hajime or Sonia, but these look weird. Fresh, too!” Akane traced one finger over the red mark, and Mikan winced in pain.

“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Mikan squealed. “I shouldn’t have-“

“I didn’t hurt ya, did I?” Akane lifted her hand immediately from Mikan’s arm. Mikan began to cry and whimper from probably embarrassment. She sniffed hard, while avoiding looking Akane in the eyes.

“N-No. Thank you for caring about m-me, but…”

“It’s okay, Mikan. I’ll take care of ya now, okay?” Akane murmured and pulled Mikan’s hand towards her chest. She gingerly intertwined her own fingers with Mikan’s. If she closed her eyes, she would be holding Ume’s hand.

“I don’t kn-know why I do it.” Mikan sobbed.

Akane wasn’t even sure what Mikan was talking about. “If what you’re doin is bad, then stop it. Why do bad things in the first place?”

“I-It’s actually a very c-complicated phenomenon.”

“But whatever this is, does it feel good?”

“N-No…?”

“Then that should be a good reason to stop!” Akane smiled warmly and patted Mikan’s head as softly as someone like her could. Mikan didn’t respond with words. Instead, she nuzzled her face in her own hair, continuing to whimper away her worries.

“Hey...Mikan, Maybe you can join me and Peko?” Akane thought out loud. It wouldn’t hurt. One more person wouldn’t screw up the dynamic they had. And besides, a person like Mikan needed Normal Lessons.

“J-Join you and P-Peko…?”

“Yeah! We have these awesome Normal Lessons on Tuesdays. You gotta join! It’ll be-”

“B-but that would be intruding…” Mikan whispered.

“Nah, I’m invitin’ you. It’s not intrudin’ if you’re invited, Mikan.” Akane snorted. “We gotta work on this pushover problem of yours, first off!” She saw Mikan slowly cave in, her expression changing as the sun began to set behind the windows. She seemed to agree, in her one way. Maybe one day, they just truly be as normal as she hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing I don’t like about the second game is that Mikan was always the butt of the joke but no one would even defend her. In chapter three (which is prob the worst chapter imo) it would have been way more impactful if someone became close with Mikan and was therefore heartbroken when they discovered she was the killer.  
> I believe Akane would be a perfect candidate, having thought of Mikan as a younger sister. It would have developed both of their personalities to less of just jokes and more of characters. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.


	17. Before the Darkened Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback chapter, and probably the last flashback chapter if not one of the last. Beyond this point is where the plot really kicks off.

The day was one of the most beautiful Akane had witnessed. A perfect afternoon to enjoy her family playing amongst the playground. It was Miki’s birthday today, and she had just turned five. To celebrate, Akane had taken them out. Having barely any money meant making cuts to her budget. She barely knew how to manage her budget, so making do with what she had was difficult.

But there was no need to think about silly things like that. Nothing could even worry her now, not when she had her siblings having the time of their lives. What really mattered was that they were safe, and nothing could ever hurt them again. There were no risks of stray bullets or wandering hands. The worst that would probably happen were just scratches that would be solved by band-aids.

Besides Satoshi, the three of them where running all over the place, trying so desperately to knock him to the ground. It put a warm feeling in her heart, watching them smile so freely. She had done right, this time. 

“Get him, get him!” Haruo shrieked, his voice cracking.

“Make sure he doesn’t get away!” Ume pushed pat Haruo and Miki, taking the charge. She was confident as ever, looking better than ever as well.

“HAH! Having trouble, huh?” Nekomaru wasn’t even using his full power. Akane couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“You’re too fast, Mr. Nidai!” Miki stumbled behind, pausing to breathe.

“I told you...to call me NEKOMARU!” He kept running until he had disappeared behind some trees. Satoshi, who was next to Akane on the bench, sighed in annoyance.

“What’s wrong, Satoshi?” Akane asked.

“Nothing. Well, he’s not really being fair.”

“Eh, don’t worry. He’ll come back.” Akane muttered, “I mean, part of the reason he came along is that he could give Miki her present.”

“Nidai gave her a present? He hasn’t even met us before.” Satoshi said. “Are you sure we can trust this guy, Akane?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I wouldn’t do anything to put you guys in danger.”

“Alright.” Satoshi laid a hand on his chin. “...He’s a friend from school, right?”

“Yep.” It was weird calling Nekomaru her friend. She supposed they were close, but then again, she had never had any friends before. At first, he was just her coach in a way, so who would have thought? Chiaki, she figured, was her friend too. But she was always hanging out with that reserve course student…Maybe Teruteru, but he was a little weird. Despite his uniqueness though, he had the cooking skills of a god.

Just then, the sound of a body crashing to the ground was heard. Nekomaru was lying on his back, feigning death dramatically. “Guh-My life...flashing before my eyes…You have defeated me, young one!” He then dropped his head to the grass, “dead” to the world. “I’m dead NOW.”

“Miki, you killed him!” Haruo shouted. “You saved us!”

Miki squealed with excitement. “I-I killed him?! By just punching his leg?!”

“Holy crap, that’s awesome!” Ume cheered. “That means you could probably destroy the whole city!”

Akane laughed fondly at the scene playing out, while Satoshi kept a tight lip. Slowly, and without the others realizing, Nekomaru was rising to his feet from behind the children Akane couldn’t stop herself from laughing harder.

“Akane, what are you laughing at?” Haruo asked cautiously.

“AH! BEHIND US!” Miki shouted, and the frenzy broke out, sending Nekomaru to laugh maniacally.

“You thought you defeated ME, Nekomaru Nidai?!” Nekomaru boomed. “Heh, the thought just makes me sick!”

“He’s become stronger, too! RUN!” Ume sprinted ahead, causing a stampede of children to run towards home base, which was just Akane.

“Akane, help us!” They screamed. Akane chuckled and stood upwards, pushing herself into a fighting stance as they rushed behind her for support.

“You won’t get past me, Nekomaru. I’ll protect them.” Akane put on her fiercest frown, and struggled to not smile.

Nekomaru growled. “You are joined by comradery? DISGUSTING.”

“Yeah, and I’m gonna take you down!” At once, Akane pushed right into him with a fist, and he blocked and threw her backwards.

“Fighting is always the answer with you…” Nekomaru shrugged, despite his resistance. “But nonetheless, I will give into your little games. May the best man win-”

“Eat my fist, evil scum!” She went straight for the face, catching several “WOAH’S” coming from her siblings. Satoshi still sat on the bench, worried and unimpressed as ever. Nekomaru ducked and swung out too, this time catching her at the waist line and throwing her to the ground.

Since she had known him, Nekomaru had defeated Akane in battle about 13 times. It wasn’t even fair! She would train every day to hopefully beat him. She had always won with other people, with other men who wouldn’t leave her alone. But not with him. He was different, somehow.

Interrupting her brief distraction, Nekomaru whacked her arm away and swung his own fist around. It hit her right in the side, and she seethed in sudden pain.

Seeing the sudden look of concern in Nekomaru’s eyes, Akane brought her leg up to his head. Thank god she was a gymnast, or that would have hurt. The two of them battled and ran around for about 15 minutes, but eventually…

After trying and failing over and over again, Akane lost. However, Nekomaru still pretended to die for the sake of the children’s imaginations. They both laid on the freshly cut grass, sun raining down on their faces, the siblings chattering amongst them.

“That ending was so intense…It reminded me of something from a manga.” Ume murmured, eyes wide with awe.

“Man, Mr. Nekomaru, you’re so cool!” Haruo grinned. “You’re the most awesome guy on earth!”

Nekomaru let down his tough guy attitude, blushing at the compliments. “W-Well, that’s just what I do!”

“I mean, you actually beat Akane! No one beats Akane…”

“I wasn’t ready that time!” Akane said. She was very bitter about this. Nothing would change it.

Nekomaru peeked out from behind the hand that rested above his eyes. “You’re the one who challenged me, Akane.”

“Ah, piss off! I just got into the moment, that’s all!” Akane jumped up and brushed off her knees. She was bleeding a little from her elbows.

“Did he break your bones, Akane?!” Miki asked.

“Of course he didn’t!” Akane said.

Nekomaru towered over the children with an almost god-like energy.“Of course I didn’t! Your sister is very strong. Someone like me wouldn’t even be able to destroy her. After all, I’m just a team manager.”

“I wanna be a baseball star! Can you train me?!” Haruo began to bounce with excitement.

“Sure! I’ll plan a schedule for you if that’s what you want.” Nekomaru said. “But you need to understand that your sister is full time. As soon as she becomes an expert, I’ll-“

“Ohmygoshthatsoundssoawesomeholycrap!” Haruo spun around really fast and became a ball of energy, not contained within the walls of reality. 

It was like he was a completely different person. Nekomaru really did love what he did, and that was something Akane really liked about him. She picked up her backpack and slinged it over her shoulder, watching Haruo run around the man excitedly.

“You have fighting spirit! I like it!” Nekomaru began to laugh joyfully at the sight. Having three lively children (not Satoshi, who was still sitting bitterly on the bench) not paying attention to her for once was kind of gratifying, but at the same time…

It made her slightly jealous. They had only known Nekomaru for a day, not even that, and they all adored him. He was just that kind of person. When Akane had first met him in her classroom, hand on his knee and encouraging one of her classmates, she marked him as a person to watch out for. Though he appeared strong and vigilant, there was just something off…

What was so great about this guy that even her siblings loved him so much? What?

 

"Oh, wait!" He boomed again, and kneeled into the grass. “Miki, for your reward for defeating me in battle, I give you a token.”

Miki blushed all over.“Huh?! M-Me?!”

"Wait, what? Nekomaru-" Akane interjected. What did he even mean by that?

“You’re talking so fancy!” Haruo exclaimed.

Nekomaru reached into his gakuran and pulled out a small, stuffed kitten. It was incredibly soft and cute, covered in pink wool and ribbons. Miki nearly died when she saw it, hands clasping over her mouth. Akane had to look away, because she too was delirious. She didn't think he'd actually buy something for her! He didn't have to! Why?

“I c-can’t believe you got me this!?” Miki stumbled, “Thank you! I love her! I love her so much!” She then surged forward and wrapped her arms around Nekomaru’s neck and squeezed him tightly. He smiled the most sweet grin Akane had ever seen. It made something in her chest move strangely. It was both the worst and best feeling in the world.

Nekomaru bashfully scratched behind his neck, giggling a little. “Heh, there’s no need to thank me!”

"But, coach. You didn't hafta-" Akane was interrupted by her brother.

Haruo wouldn’t stop chattering. “Wow, Mr. Nekomaru! You’re so cool and so nice! No wonder Akane talks about you all the time-“

Akane suddenly felt foolish. She rushed to Haruo’s side. “Let’s head back. It’s getting late, okay?”

“H-Huh?” Murmured Ume, “Already?! But-“

“It’s getting freaking late! Let’s go!” And so Akane swooped up Miki and Haruo both under her arms. “C’mon, you guys!”

“Akane, it’s not like we’ll all disappear. You shouldn’t-“ Nekomaru was cut off by a sudden voice from the bench.

Satoshi stood like a small adult, his posture straight and judgmental. “Listen to her. We’re leaving.”

Though he was surprised, Nekomaru nodded and stood tall. “Alright then! Lead the way.”

**...**

  
Ice cream was a luxury few could afford. That was how Akane viewed such a delectable dish. The gift of actually being able to eat it in the end was almost too good to be true. Nekomaru had insisted on helping her pay for it. He really was too kind to her. It didn’t sit well in her stomach. She didn't even have much to give to him in return. Questions raced through her mind as she struggled to grasp why he was the way he was.

And so she stood cleaning up the kitchen of her three roomed apartment. It was mostly empty. There were barely any boxes and no bed to be found. When Nekomaru had walked into the threshold, he had audibly gasped. It really didn’t make her feel proud, but she had worked nights and days to get what her siblings deserved. People like him couldn’t understand, could they? How could they even begin to comprehend what she had been through?

Her siblings (minus Satoshi) still enjoyed him. Even Satoshi was slowly warming up to him, though he kept a cautious outlook. Trusting men rarely got them anywhere before. It was the sad truth of where they had grown up. Akane had spent most of life protecting them from travelling hands and watchful eyes. Nekomaru seemed to understand. He always did.

The children eventually wore themselves to sleep, where their chests rose and fell in the silence of the apartment. Haruo, Miki, and Ume were lounging on Nekomaru, all over him. Satoshi leaned against the wall close to them, deep in a content slumber. Even Nekomaru was nodding off. It had been a long day, and Akane could feel her eyes staying shut longer than they usually did. She was exhausted, truth be told. Eventually she stopped picking up the ice cream containers and slid down the apartment wall next to them. She sighed and laid her forehead on her knees.

“Thanks for showing up,” she said, “You’re real popular, you know that?”

Nekomaru grunted with surprise, “I wouldn’t say that! But I like them too. I’m glad they were able to celebrate something.”

“You helped, with everything, and Miki loved her cat-thing…” Akane sighed.

“Well…”

“I just don’t get it, Coach.”

“Hm?”

“Why are you so into helpin’ me?” Akane asked plainly. She wasn’t sure how else to say it.

Nekomaru nearly snorted with exaggerated amusement. “That’s a stupid question! A team manager always supports his athletes.”

“Yeah, I guess…” Akane was not convinced. Team managers didn't come to to their athlete's sibling's birthday party, did they? Akane thought hard about this. Truth be told, she didn't know all too much about team managers or coaches at all.

“...What’s wrong, Akane?” Nekomaru hummed. She could tell he was trying his best not to fall asleep. There was a troubling difference between the man in front of hr and the one she had seen earlier, going crazy in the park.

“Nothing's wrong! Nothing bothers me, after all.” Akane’s fake grin was so obviously...well, fake, that she even got an eyebrow raise in her direction.

“You’re a worse liar than me! Need I remind you how shitty of a liar I am, Akane?!” Nekomaru laughed almost hard enough to shake the children awake.

“Agh, you’re gonna wake ‘em up!” Akane whispered.

“Oh, I’m sorry…!” A sudden looming shame appeared in his eyes, and he struggled to stay quiet. Nekomaru then leaned closer to her to prevent his general loudness. Akane could see the detail of his eyes from this close. She suddenly began to feel stiff, awkward, and lame.

“You don’t hafta be sorry. I mean, they’re used to me being loud and stuff.” Akane mumbled. The light outside was dimming. She could see the sun slowly disappearing over the city skyline. Hope's Peak was now miles away, tucked away by civilization. Her old neighborhood, her mother, her father, those men and dogs who chased her...She had left them all behind. Maybe it was for the better, that her siblings were now safe. She didn't even remember the last time she had been attacked or touched in such a way.

Nekomaru kept pressing forward. “Akane, what’s on your mind?”

“Damn it, Coach. Don’tcha know when to leave someone be?”

“Nope, never!”

Akane groaned, running a hand down her face. “Ugh, god. I just really...don’t think you should be helpin’ us.”  
  
“You’re just being stubborn, Akane.”

“And you’re gettin’ into my business!”

Nekomaru hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe you’re just not used to having help. Maybe you need any help you can get?”

Akane held her head in her hands. “Ugh! shuddup, shuddup, shuddup!”

“I’m just saying; you work two shit jobs and also go to school, you’re a gymnast as well, under my train-“

“I handled my life awesomely before you came along!” Akane snapped, still hushed.

“Awesomely? That’s extremely unlikely.” Nekomaru huffed.

“I invite you along and all ya do is gloat at me?! God, I really wanna punch ya now...!”

“I didn’t mean to...gloat! I just-“ Nekomaru admitted. “You seem overwhelmed, Akane. It’s my duty as your manager to take care of you.”

“Take care of me? What are you? Some freaky mafia man?”

Nekomaru sighed, “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t want you to. You got a life, and I got my own.” Akane muttered. “You go take care of yourself.”

Nekomaru pressed a hand to his forehead, frustrated. He didn’t really say anything else, just kinda mumbling to himself and eventually slipping into silence. Akane might have thought him asleep. She cleared her throat, “Uh, Nekomaru?”

His eyes were closed, and he seemed extremely frustrated and exhausted. That was a rarity for him. “Hm?”

“Why did you buy Miki something? She hadn’t even met you before today.”

“Well…she doesn’t have many toys, does she?” Nekomaru asked. “She deserves to have something to keep.”

“Gah, you’re trying to one-up me at the sibling game, aren’t ya?”

“What do you mean?! Akane, do we have to-“

“You’re just way too good with kids. You must have a million siblings or something.” As much as Akane hated to admit it, it was true. Nekomaru _was_ really good with kids. Maybe it was his excitable nature, or cartoonish behavior. Whatever it was, it fascinated her to no end. He was a natural child-magnet. Akane tried her very best to not feel jealous, but if it was worth seeing her siblings smile, then so be it. A little jealousy wouldn't hurt her much, right?

“Hah, I have no siblings to speak of. Just me.” Nekomaru laughed sadly, “I wasn’t expecting a compliment from you!”

“Agh, well… That has to be a lie. There’s no way. I mean, what the hell were you doing as a kid that made you good with...kids?”

Something in Nekomaru’s energy changed. He was content before, tired but basking in the afterglow of a great outing. But now, he seemed to shrink back. He did not retreat, but laid a hand on the center of his chest almost on reflex. It was like, it was meant to be there.

“Hah, it's a long story. Maybe when I regain my energy, I can tell you.” He said.

“You don’t gotta be all secretive about it!” Akane said, but then she thought about it. Usually, Nekomaru never talked about himself. It was almost always her. It was just always about her, her life, her training, her thoughts. It alarmed her that she didn’t even really know him yet, and she had met him eight months ago.

“It’s not a secret, Akane. I would never do such a thing.” Despite his grim energy, Nekomaru smiled at her and ruffled her hair. She blinked in surprise, and went to whack his hand off. But for some reason, she rather liked that feeling.

“Alright, I believe you.” She said, trying to figure him out. What a strange guy he was. Wild, soulful, crazy, kind-hearted Nekomaru. What a weird, weird dude. Akane just wasn’t sure what to think of him. And at the same time, she couldn't stop thinking about him, even if she tried.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kind comments it really raises my confidence. Really glad I posted this story.


	18. Just a Briefing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo i finally updated! I've been trying to slow down the update speed while i finish out the story on my own. This chapter 's second half might contain some sensitive topics about...certain topics. Just letting you guys' know that this chapter was not meant to be personally biased in any way, and instead I was thinking of what the characters themselves were thinking and how they would react to something as ... uh major as this.

Akane was late again. She had to pack extra hefty this time, resulting in her slow arrival. In one hand, she held a tote bag filled with soda cans and chip bags. They jostled as she ran, never once catching a breath. It was surprisingly a stormy day. The sky was oddly red, reminding her of darker days. Her fist clenched tighter around the bag’s straps.

Once Akane had made it to the barn, she saw two silhouettes sitting and talking quietly beside the barn. She waved Peko and Mikan down in excitement. “Hey, you guys!”

Mikan immediately flattened her dress, and smiled sweetly. Peko did nothing but humbly sip from her glass. “Akane,” she said, “You’re late again.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know, but I got some snacks. Didn’t even hafta put them in my shirt this time!” Akane threw the tote bag onto the dirt, resulting in a horrified glance from Mikan.

“Eep! Akane, this many calories could harm you.”

“Since...when did food harm me? That’s crazy.” Akane huffed and sat down. “I thought I invited you to the Normal Lessons so you could, y’know, be normal!”

“I do think they help, Mikan.” Peko said.

“W-Wait, Peko? What are you drinking?” Mikan held her hands to her face. There was something she knew that Akane did not. It created a gaping hole of curiosity. She needed to know.

“Cranberry juice.” Peko swirled the dark liquid inside the glass. She seemed fine, maybe a bit more pale than usual. “I was drinking this before I arrived, and decided to finish it here.”

“Nah, nah…” Akane sniffed loudly. “I know wine when I smell it.”

Peko stiffened slightly, though Akane didn’t really get what she was so freaked out over. Wine was something Akane liked too, more so than before.

“R-Remember to d-drink in moderation, Peko.” Mikan whimpered. “I didn’t even know you drank…!”

“I don’t, not usually.” Peko quipped.

Akane lowered her eyebrows. She remembered one of her stepmothers. She was a modest enough woman, still a pain in the ass. This particular woman was especially sober, but hid inside her room all day. Akane, being only 12 at the time, would have to work in her place. One peculiar night though, was what Akane recalled the most clearly.

After she had thrown a party when her father was away a week before, and many men Akane did not know were there, her mother had laid down in the bathroom and sobbed. She had locked herself in that room, letting her children hear her tremors of grief. Akane had been afraid, afraid for her mother. The child had to calm down the other siblings, even younger than herself. Miki hadn't even been born yet.

Though she didn’t remember much from the whole situation, there was one particular vivid memory. Her mother had finished crying it out, and shuffled into the broken kitchen. There she pulled out an entire bottle of wine and drank the whole thing. From top to bottom, the liquid had disappeared.

Akane had asked why her mother was drinking so much, but only got a vacant stare from her. The woman’s eyes were completely empty. There was nothing of substance, of care or motherly love. That was the moment when a young Akane realized that she had to learn how to survive. There was no way in hell that this woman knew what she was doing. Her siblings wouldn’t last without a sister by their side.

So in other words, she was beginning to understand why Peko felt this way. There wasn’t a definite answer, but Akane could almost sense the truth.

“T-Then...why now? If that is, if y-you want to answer. You really don’t have to-” Mikan asked.

“I thought it tasted good.” Peko answered, her gaze somewhat dimmer than it usually was. Normally, those eyes of her’s could pierce the hardest metal, the worst situations. Now it was just too strange.

“You’re definitely hiding something.” Akane said.

Mikan tilted her head, eyes widening with an unknown realization. Akane pressed forward, asking Mikan a silent question. Mikan shook her head, “I’m s-so sorry, Peko, b-but I must confiscate this-” With one motion, Mikan snatched away the glass of wine, more forceful than usual. Peko made an almost silent noise of surprise. She was not angry, but her form was incredibly stiff. Her fingernails were clawing into the soft earth.

“I am not...hiding anything.” Seeing Peko cornered like this was just like before. And even though she was not close to death, like in the game, Peko was just as afraid, maybe even more so. For being such a stoic person, Peko wasn’t the best liar. Back when she had wielded the Sparkling Justice Mask, Peko scrambled for anything to save Fuyuhiko.

“I’m s-so sorry, Peko. I shouldn’t have-” Mikan began to cry, but Akane slammed her on the back with reassurance.

“Hey! We can’t have Peko being drunk all the time!”

“A-AH, Akane! P-Please be careful…” Mikan began to shake with embarrassment. Akane didn’t see why she was so upset. It was just a friendly gesture.

“I wasn’t planning on becoming drunk, trust me.” Peko said firmly. Her face remained cool, despite her frustration that showed on the track mark covered dirt.

“Peko…” Mikan shyly placed a hand on Peko’s arm. “Please...if you h-have time, come and see me later.”

“Huh?” Akane asked.

Peko paused, “I must end our Normal Session earlier than usual, I apologize.”

“Huh, what now? Whadda’ you mean end it?! We haven’t even eaten my snacks yet!” Akane yelled, and took a few bags of chips out if the bag for an example.

“P-Peko!” Mikan wailed as Peko swiftly walked away, carrying her stress with her. Akane growled and crushed a bag of chips in her hand.

“Damn it! Why doesn’t she want to hang out with us…?” Akane muttered, dejected. “I thought she liked Normal Lessons.”

Mikan didn’t respond, and after awhile, ran off after Peko, without saying anything else. Akane sat in disbelief, annoyance, and most importantly, betrayal. What the hell?! She thought.

For the remainder of the afternoon, Akane sulked inside her cabin.

**...**

  
It was a little after 6:00 PM that someone came to her door. It was obvious who it was based on the voice alone.

“AKANE! AKANE! AKANE!” The heavy pounding of fists shook the door. Akane yelped and ran to open it, snapping in frustration.

“Nekomaru, go away! I’m busy!” Akane said. “I don’t got time to do nothing with you.”

Nekomaru did not believe her, but he had no time for doubts. “But this is urgent! Come with me NOW!”

“If it’s that urgent, then just calm down, will ya? Let me get my stuff.” Akane walked away from the door and picked up a few strips of jerky off the floorboards. She put them in her mouth, much to Nekomaru’s disgust. She didn’t pay him any heed.

He gave one solid, judgemental glance around the small room. “Wow. This place looks like shit.”

“Hey, I gotta make this place like home somehow!’ Akane went behind the bathroom door and found a slightly less stinky shirt than the one she currently was wearing. Beside that, was a familiar, red skirt that she wore when she simply had nothing else.

“Akane, hurry up! We don’t have time for this!”

“Alright, alright! Don’t act all crazy just yet!” Akane walked briskly past him and set her hands on her hips, glaring. “Now what did you get me out here for?”

“Your laziness never ceases to amaze me, but just hurry up.” Nekomaru grabbed Akane’s arm and started to drag her away. She noticed that no other person was around them. The sky was...dark red. Perhaps it was the sunset that came every evening. She hoped so.

“Stop dragging me along! I can hold myself just fine.” Akane grumbled.

“You’re too stubborn! You won’t get anywhere in life with that attitude!”

“I’m having that attitude because you’re dragging me across the freakin’ beach!” Akane screamed. “Now I really want to punch your head off!”

“You can punch my head off LATER!” Nekomaru roared. He continued to pull her along, Akane now beginning to walk in place. His arm wouldn’t leave, no matter how much she tried to pull it off. No matter what she did, he wouldn’t listen. He must have been..

“Hey, Nekomaru.”

He didn’t answer her. He was thinking way too hard about something.

“Nekomaru, I’m walking fine now. Can you just-” Akane tried to pull her arm. He was too strong, it seemed. And god, it was starting to hurt. Her circulation must have been cut off. Enraged, Akane started to punch at his sides with all her might. “LET ME GO! LET ME GO, NEKOMARU!”

That seemed to wake him up. He pulled himself away almost immediately, looking ashamed. “Gah, I’m sorry!”

“You’ve got some grip.” Akane recognized the area around them. He was taking her to the beach. Why?

“I apologize. I was...thinking too hard again.” In Nekomaru’s case, it was probably too much for a guy like him.

“Gr, it’s fine! Just let me walk by myself this time.” Akane shot him a quick grin, though he did not smile back. He cautiously nodded. It was probably just her, but Nekomaru was not as fun as he used to be. No one was anymore. Of course, he still had his quirks, but she didn’t know the last time they trained together, or actually hung out. She didn’t like feeling, that feeling of insecurity. She pushed it away. Perhaps he was just going through a rough patch. Everybody had those, right?

Eventually, they made it to the beach. What Akane saw there, surrounded by all her former classmates, was something she thought she would never witness. She hadn’t even seen them before the Tragedy.

A boat. No, a ship! No, a whole collection of ships, floating in the water, waiting for them. There were so many, that Akane felt her brain going numb. She stood with pure awe, amazement, nervousness. She simply didn’t know what to think. Nekomaru looked down at her with a solemn sigh.

“Wh-What the hell?” was the only sentence Akane could utter.

“We need to get on board with the others!” Nekomaru said, and ran ahead with the rest of them. Akane stood flabbergasted. Slowly, she began to inch forward towards the shore, hearing the steady hum of the machines inside them. She heard the sounds of people, other people, on the ship’s deck. Other people! It had been just so long!

Akane felt strangely relieved, if not slightly overwhelmed...What did all of this mean? As she padded over to the shore, dark water washing over her feet, a single thought raced through her mind. Were they returning home? Were they...going back?

“Wha-What’s all this? What’s going on, Hajime?” Akane shook his shoulder slightly. Hajime had been very quiet lately, usually too busy talking to someone in his room. He was anxiously staring forward, steady-set on whatever awaited all of them. “Hajime?!”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“I didn’t ask if you were fine, I just asked-”

“Akane, let us talk on our own accord.” Sonia pulled her away to a small circle of different people: Kazuichi, Nagito, and Hiyoko. “Perhaps I can explain the situation to you?”

“Yeah, okay. Sure.” Akane said. She tried her best to ignore Nagito’s friendly smile when she stood in the middle. That was when she noticed something shiny, as her eyes looked down his clothing.

“What...is that?”

“Huh?” Sonia asked.

“Ah...this thing? Kazuichi made it for me.” Nagito laughed genuinely. “He’s truly amazing, a perfect example of someone with talent.” Now that Akane looked closer into it, it was an arm. A metal arm that had joints on its own, completely connected to Nagito’s shoulder.

“Well, hah, I wouldn’t say that. Nagito just needed a new hand!” Kazuichi seemed off. It was strange to see him strangely okay with Nagito’s existence. After all, he had been one of the two to knock him out and lock him in the cabin near the restaurant.

“Woah, Kazuichi. How’d you make it? And so fast too!” Akane stared at the thing, currently forgetting the boats and her annoyance for the boy she examined. Nagito didn’t seem to mind showing it off a little. It even made small mechanical creaks when it moved! Akane had thought that things like that were only in corny movies that she couldn’t afford to watch.

“No big deal, really. I just combined some scrap pieces together, molded it. Now, attaching it to Nagito was the tricky part…” Kazuichi blushed. It was obvious he was trying to play the modest card to get Sonia’s praise. She simply nodded her head in a silent approval. She was grinning, though. That was a start.

“Wow, Kazuichi! Even though you have an ugly face, you’re really good with machines!” Hiyoko chimed in.

“I-I don’t want to hear nothing from you!” Kazuichi’s confidence that just barely surged had been depleted to the dust. Akane was just about to step in, before-

“Weren’t we going to explain the situation to Akane?” Nagito asked. Akane wondered why they even helped him at all. Did someone like him even deserve it? Well, she supposed everyone deserved a second chance.

“Right...Akane, we are going to the mainland, to put it lightly.” Sonia said. She appeared to be heavily burdened.  
  
“B-But why?!” Akane wondered out loud.

“I am quite nervous as well…! Going back will take some will power from me!” Sonia muttered, raising a hand to her lips.

“Miss Sonia, don’t be worried. I’ll protect you!” Kazuichi said.

“She’ll just be in more danger with you around!” Hiyoko sneered, and Kazuichi lowered his head in defeat.

“Now, Hiyoko! While that may be true, I am not sure where we are traveling. Hajime said it might take several days.” Sonia said.

“I-It’s true?!” Kazuchi couldn’t go anywhere but down at that moment.

“Several days? I mean, why are we even goin’ back?!” Akane asked.

“According to what Hajime told us, we are needed by the Future Foundation.” Nagito muttered, looking at his mechanical hand. “I wonder why they would ask for delinquents like us.”

“We’re more than just delinquents, man.” Kazuichi was trying his hardest to appear confident.

“I don’t care. I just-I just wanna go back home.” More than anything, Akane hoped that they would be alright. At least one.

“Home? Why would you-” Hiyoko was on the verge of spewing more garbage, before the foghorn of the largest ship shook the beach. Everyone was still, watching with awestruck expectancy. Akane closed her eyes and waited, and waited and waited. From the entrance at the side, a single man stepped out from the doorway. Dressed in a black suit and a tie, he stood strong, yet silently afraid of the people before him. To cover his eyes, a pair of sunglasses sat on his face.

For a few minutes, he typed on a small pad he was holding. Then, he waved his hand forward, signalling all of them to leave. Hajime was the first to head up into the bow. He exchanged a few words with the man, and left them all on the beach. They were really going back, weren’t they?

One by one, and with shaking hands, every person was on board. Akane exchanged glances with Shohta, who was already in a new disguise. He was probably just thinking about that boy back home. There was a sick feeling in her stomach that Akane dreaded. She didn’t want to admit it, but the chances of seeing her siblings were low. If they even were alive...then…

She couldn’t think about that now. All that was important was the red skies and the black waves. All that mattered was the drone of dozens of ships, ready to leave the mainland. Maybe her gut had been right all along. Even if it came in the appearance of the unknown, this was hope.

And so, Akane walked forward and stepped into the entrance, letting the door slam behind her.

**...**

It was a rough ride back home. Akane and the others had been placed separately in different rooms. It was understandable. Being former criminals, they were not to be trusted. No, they were worse than criminals. Teruteru, even though he was coping better than before, still didn’t talk as much. He certainly did not make any perverted remarks.

Inside the ship was dark and metallic, the lights in the ceiling flickering as the waters swayed the vessel. Akane sat with her arms around her legs. Her head was placed on top of them, chin digging into her flesh. She felt dirty, unwashed, sweaty. Another second waiting and waiting wasn’t going to get more satisfying. She was incredibly bored, anxious, overwhelmed. Of course, she would never admit this.

And so she sat and waited some more. A few more minutes passed, then a few more hours.

By now, her fingernails were leaving an imprint into her calves. They weren’t even too long, and she didn’t mind the pain that much. Around her, the others (Peko, Teruteru, Sonia, Nekomaru, Hiyoko, and Gundham) chattered softly amongst themselves or not at all. Peko was especially quiet, more than she usually was. Akane was just wondering why she wasn’t hanging out with Fuyuhiko. In fact, it seemed like she was avoiding him.

With a disgruntled heave, Akane pulled herself over to a metal bench where only Peko sat. She was staring down at the table. Her eyes were wide. She was pulling slightly on one braid, listening.

“Hey, Peko-”

Since she wasn’t the type to scream, Peko only let out a gasp of surprise. She barely relaxed when she saw her. “Akane.”

Peko was being incredibly frustrating. There the 15 of them were, going back home for god knows what reason, and here she was: sitting down and pitying herself. That’s all she did now. She wasn’t even sure if Mikan got to talk to her. Akane sat down with a grimace. At least the wine was gone.

“Peko, you’re acting funny.”

“Isn’t it...normal to be nervous right now?” Peko was much more defensive than usual. Just what was her problem?!

Akane growled with frustration. “Well, yeah. But you’re being a real pain in the ass, Peko! Always avoiding me, skipping Normal Lessons, drinking all the time…”

“You also drink all the time.”

“But that’s different, okay?! I don’t got problems to worry about.”

Peko sighed. “I assure you, Akane, it is not your concern. I do not try to avoid any of you, I just-”

“Do you just like the taste? Because someone prim and proper like you, should be drinking your heart out?” Akane asked.

Peko didn’t respond. Akane kept going. “Mikan knew something I didn’t. And....I don’t wanna be nosey, I just-”

Peko looked down and crossed her fingers together. “I cannot tell you.”

“Huh?”

“I cannot...tell anyone.” There on Peko’s face, was the most shocking expression Akane had seen her wear. Eyes sullen, lip quivering, pupils dilated. She looked she might start to cry. It was awful.

“Peko…” Akane just didn’t know what to say. Someone like Peko had it all together, usually. Akane thought of her sisters, and placed a single hand on the back of Peko’s. The girl startled, looking right into Akane, and constrained herself further. Akane rubbed as softly as she could. Being soft, was not something she was good at. Nethertheless, Peko needed a friend. “How many people have you talked to?”

“None.” Peko answered.

“But you’re such a strong person. How come something is bothering you that much?” Akane asked. “Wait. Did you and Fuyu break up?” That would explain everything, actually. Since she was avoiding him so much, and the drinking, and the tearful expressions. To be honest, Akane was rather disappointed. If the breakup was indeed, true, then what a boring twist that would be.

“No, but we were never even…” Peko thought hard about this. “I am not sure...what is the status of our relationship, not anymore.”

“It sounds confusing.”

“...It is, but....I adore him. If something happened to him, I might simply cease to exist.”

“Damn. That’s uh...deep.” Akane felt happy for them. At least they had each other, in the grand scheme of things. “Then what’s the freaking problem?”

“Akane, I am not sure I will be able to admit it.”

“Admit...what?”

Peko’s voice suddenly became quieter. She was frantic, cornered like an animal. “I...cannot- I can’t… even say it-”

“Peko, come on. You can trust me. I mean, we’ve come so far...” Akane pressed firmly against Peko, and pat down her shoulder with reassurance. She was so much smaller than Akane, lithe and thin in all the right places. Her pale complexion gave off the vibe of a beautiful, porcelain doll, unwavering in the waters surrounding them.

And it wasn’t just that Akane wanted to sate her curiosity, she really did care for Peko. Sure, they were complete opposites, but Akane felt as if the Normal Lessons had really paid off in a way. It was almost like she could truly understand a person like her. Maybe Peko understood Akane more, as well.

“Akane, I am not sure what to do.” Peko’s voice began to waver, and Akane’s blood ran cold. How unusually human for her to do so. “To tell you the truth, I am terrified.”

“But how can you be scared? You’re amazing!”

“Akane, you have become someone I can count on, so thank you.”

“Yeah, sure…”

  
“Please...no matter what you do, do not tell anyone.” Peko muttered. She was beginning to hyperventilate. It was disconcerting, seeing her like this. Absolutely bare in her emotions, Peko couldn’t do anything but look down at her lap. “I...always had a feeling that something was wrong, and I....”

“What? Peko, are you-”

“I’m...pregnant.” Almost silent in the dead air, those were the words that sealed the deal. The confusion that Akane had felt before everything suddenly melted in front of her. Everything made sense. Akane did not blink. She didn’t move her mouth, her hands. Peko’s eyes were squeezed shut, as if she did not want to believe the unwanted truth.

“What the hell?!” were the only words Akane could say.

Peko seemed almost too petrified that she acknowledged her problem. She clasped her hands against her blouse, fumbling her fingers nervously. She was so, so young. She barely even knew how to control her own life, after just finding her free will. Most likely, the girl didn’t know how to take care of children. Someone, who’s entire life was dedicated to being a robotic and almost empty shell, was going to have a child. Akane just didn’t know what to say.

“Oh, my god.” Akane said again. “Holy shit!”

Peko fumbled with her glasses. “Yes, I am aware…”

“Does...Fuyuhiko know?”

“N-No.”

Akane let out a deep breath, smiling with all her heart. “But you’re gonna have a baby! That’s awesome-”

Peko’s hands were smothering Akane’s lips before she could say anything more. Her eyes were intense, horrifying. “P-Please do not announce it!”

“O-Okay, sure.” Akane’s voice was squashed in comparison, merely mumbling.

“Did anyone else hear?” Peko turned her head left and then right. “Good. They are all asleep.” She was right. Everyone in the room was knocked out. Nekomaru’s snoring was just starting to get louder.

“Yeah. Good.”

A slow pause awaited them afterwards. Akane leaned forward, whispering carefully now. “Wait. Why would you try to hide it from everyone? It’s not so bad, y’know.”

Peko stared at her like she was insane. Akane wasn’t sure what was wrong with what she had just said. It was a simple question, right?

“I...I...Why would I tell anyone at all?” Jokes on her, Peko already told Akane.

“I dunno. I just don’t-” Akane stopped, because she remembered something. Her mother, crying in the bathroom, going downstairs and downing a whole bottle of liquor. “Holy crap.” In all her life, Akane was never too good at thinking, but maybe she was right. If only she was wrong. If only this once, she she hoped she was wrong.

“What is it?” Peko was hostile, yet hushed.

“You were trying to kill it, weren’t ya?” Akane murmured. “You were tryin’ to kill the baby…”

Peko’s eyes were wet. She glanced away from her, biting her lip. “It was the only way I knew how.” A sickening feeling dropped to Akane’s stomach. Maybe Peko just didn’t want the baby? If she really didn’t, Akane wasn’t sure she could really blame her. Life was cruel, tough, hardened. They had only just conformed to the new life given to them. A baby would only distort it further. The 15 of them were only just in their twenties. And Peko, just now learning to live and love like a normal, human being, was the most fragile of all of them, deep down.

“Peko, come on, now.” Akane laid a single hand on Peko’s shoulder, and pat it firmly. “I’m not mad at ya. You’re okay.”

“It is...not what you think.”

“What’re sayin? I get it, you know. Just...why did this even…” Still, the concept of Peko being with child was so alien, so _strange_ that she could barely even imagine a baby coming out of her. Akane barely even knew how pregnancy worked, as sad as that was.

“It was an accident. I didn’t know…” Peko swallowed. “If he finds out, he would be-”

“I think he’d love it. I mean, Fuyu is kinda mean, but he has a good heart. You know him the best, so-”

“I am not sure. I’d just feel like a liability.”

“So do you not wanna keep it or what?” Akane asked. She needed the answer to be clear.

Peko didn’t answer for a while. She was very intent on making this her final conformation. Akane couldn’t really begin to imagine how difficult it must have been. “I...I did want to.”

“Wow, that’s surprising. You actually wanna be a mom?” She did want to kill it earlier, did she? Or did she not? Was it more of a mercy kill? Was the baby even still okay in there? Akane hoped so.

“A...mom? A...mother?” Peko whispered.

“Yeah. I think you’d make a pretty good mom. Better than mine, anyways.” Akane leaned on her elbows. “So are you gonna keep drinking…? Or…”

“No. I hated the idea, but I had thought that I had better do it all the while.”

“Um, why?”

“Shame, Akane.” Those words were so simple, yet so unadulterated of anything impure. “I can’t explain it like I wish I could.”

“Well, I dunno. I’ve never been pregnant, so I don’t know what to tell you.”

“But you have experience with children, do you not? I knew I could confide in you.”

“Heh, those were just my siblings, Peko! They weren’t difficult or nothing!”

“Maybe to you they weren’t. But because of you, they survived, did they not?”

Akane wasn’t sure how to answer that. Her siblings survived? She hoped to god that was true. If only, she could just sneak away and find them again; hug them until she could not anymore, let them cry into her blouse. “Sure, they did.”

“If I am going to ensure the child’s safety, I need your help.”

“God, Peko! You don't need to say it so formally. I'm sure you and Fuyu are gonna be great parents.” Akane laughed. “Of course I’ll help.”

Peko did not say anything, but the smile upon her face was so bright and so warm that Akane swore that the ship stopped moving. Never before had she seen Peko so at peace, despite everything in her given situation telling her to stay miserable.

“Do you really believe that I would be a good mother, after what I have done?” Peko asked, feebly, yet still containing a ray of hope.

“Well, do you wanna keep the baby?”

“...Yes.”

“Then, boom. All that makes a good mom is someone who gives a crap.” Akane dug a hand through her hair, trying to find an itch. “There’s also the ‘being there’ and the ‘making sure they don’t starve’ thing. I’m sure you won’t fail at that.”

“I...give a crap.” Peko murmured. “I do, I really do.”

Akane laughed. “Well, damn, Peko!”

“But...about Fuyuhiko, do you really think-”

“You’re just gonna have to tell him!”

“Tell?” A flash of fear crossed Peko’s eyes, but she sighed once and raised her chin. “You are right. It would be the honorable thing to do.”

Yeah, that. And also, a baby bump would be sworn to show up at some point. It would be awkward to wait a few months.

Then, something completely unexpected happened. Peko surged forward, awkwardly placing her hands around Akane’s sides. It was a bit harsh and very sudden, but Akane got the gist of what she was trying out. It was the first time Peko had hugged her...Akane could tell that Peko was just as confused as Akane, having not even embraced a friend before. Still, Akane managed to quickly recover, and warmly hugged her tightly.

“Akane, thank you.” Peko held on for a few more seconds, before gently letting go, and standing up. As Peko squeezed her hand once, and walked away to lay down, Akane knew that she would be their child’s #1 fan.


	19. No Pain, No Gain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids fight to find Ryota. (Hope Arc)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys hadn't guessed before, we're heading into the Hope Arc. I wanted to stay as accurate as possible lol. it's weird how akane got paired with teruteru, so writing him was uh...interesting to say the least.

  
For what seemed like days, Akane sat down on the floor that was way too cold for its own good. She could hear the waves whip against the ship’s sides, harsh and probably freezing. The artificial lighting and dense silence only made her more uncomfortable. She really hadn’t been on a boat before.

Beside her, Nekomaru was still asleep, whereas she hadn’t slept once. As obnoxiously loud as he was even while asleep, Akane couldn’t be more thankful that he was right next to her. Just knowing he was alive and safe (for the time being) was enough for her.

Still, there were times where, after running for a long time, he’d clutch right in the center of his chest, wincing with pain. Of course, Nekomaru would brush off the others’ calls of concern with a broad smile. Akane had never seen something so fake in all her life.

She had just gotten him back. What would she even do if he was taken away? And this time, for good?

Akane dug her nails into her palms. Damn it, not again. She reminded herself not to freak out about little things like that. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Stifling her fear inside her, Akane caved in and slowly put her head against his arm, which was lying across his chest. She didn’t see anything wrong with what she was doing. The truth was, she wanted to hear his heart beating. As long as she could feel it, she knew he wouldn’t die anytime soon.

Hopefully he would never die. Hopefully he would live longer than she would. Akane nuzzled further against Nekomaru, but careful not to wake him up. Truth be told, she felt fragile at the moment. Nothing could change it. Not herself, not sleep, nothing.

Akane’s eyelids started to drop, and she slipped into a daze. She was just now aware of how tired she was. Time slipped, and it must have been an hour or two. The air felt fuzzy, like the clouds before a thunderstorm. There was pressure in her chest, and her she still fell asleep against him.

It had been hours later when Nekomaru woke up. No one else appeared to be up, and it was still dark outside. It was a content feeling, to be the first one awake. He prepared to stand up and stretch, but was stopped by a sharp stab in his heart. He seethed in pain, going to grab at his chest when he realized that someone was already there.

Akane was lying practically on him. Her mouth was open, and she was drooling. Nekomaru frowned, unimpressed, and gently closed her mouth with a finger. She wasn’t even snoring, but he knew an exhausted person when he saw one.

But still, it was a sweet sight. He knew she would kill anyone who saw her so open, but it was sweet nethertheless. Stretching would just have to wait. He didn’t want to disturb her, even if he wasn’t sure why she fell asleep on him. Akane Owari was just an oddity, not like any person he had trained before. That was what made her stand out, he supposed. It was strange to think it, but the world needed more people like her: passionate, strong, but not belittling. She was like a storm never ceasing in volume, to one day crash and burn. It worried him, thinking like that.

She just didn’t realize it.

Before he knew it, the pain had dissipated. Maybe she was enough. Maybe Akane somehow knew he would be awoken by his heart. He guessed it was her way of watching out for him. It was in that moment, that he reminded himself why he had sought to train her in the first place. But maybe, if he took away the manager title...What was she to him?

He wasn’t sure yet, because the answer was blurry and unknown. Whatever it was, it made his chest feel strange. It wasn’t in pain like before. This was a new feeling: bubbly, energetic, gentle. It truly made him feel alive. Smiling fondly, Nekomaru lifted one hand to gently pat her hair. Still asleep, Akane mumbled something softly, and turned over on her side. It wasn’t hard at all to fall asleep afterwards.

**...**

  
It was about a day and a half later, and the ship was still chugging its way across the sea. Akane had longed to escape the stuffy atmosphere of the room she had stayed in. The deck was far more exciting, and the fresh air was almost to die for. Sure, she was stuck on a boat, but she was moving fast across the ocean, far from the island she thought she was tied to.

Akane felt the wind move through her hair, tangling it in the breeze. She relaxed her fingers on the railing and breathed in deeply. The others must have been still lumbering around downstairs. But why trap yourselves in that dump when you could indulge in a little ocean breeze?

Akane had been thinking a lot the past few days. In the grand scheme of everything, she still didn’t know the reason why they were going back. In fact, no one except Hajime really knew. Or did everyone know besides her? Is that how unreliable she was? The thought made Akane feel unwell. She didn’t want to seem that way. That wasn’t her, or was it?

It was true she used to be that way. She knew that. That was just how Akane was. She was selfish, immature, desensitized, naive. She was afraid that after recognizing her flaws, she still could never overcome them. To become strong, Akane needed to rid herself of her weaknesses. That way, she could be the sister her siblings needed. She would show up and find them, and they would find her. It would be a good day, and everyone would be happy. Nothing would go wrong.

Akane hated thinking. She hated words and feelings and the human body. Words were difficult to put together, and her feelings nowadays were starting to tear her apart from the inside. A human body could become crushed in an instant. From either lack of nourishment, or a hidden disease, a human would travel 6 feet underground before anyone knew it.

Damn it all, she was thinking about it again. Or rather, thinking about him. Whatever Hajime’s plan was, Akane knew that she would watch over Nekomaru the entire time, and make sure he wouldn’t fall to his own weaknesses. It worried her to no end, and she detested that. She hated that feeling of anxiety and tenseness. Oh, how she longed to be carefree like she used to. Why couldn’t she just go back to when she couldn’t bring herself to care?

But she knew she had to be careful. She knew that his life was precious to her, and she had to protect him, like he protected her countless times. She had to repay him back. She just had to.

Akane clutched the railing with ferocity. No matter what she did, she couldn’t stop the shakes. She recalled a distant memory, that one day after school, Nekomaru had insisted on walking her home. She wasn’t sure why, and she didn’t ask. Throughout their mostly pleasant conversation about protein bars and bungee jumping of all things, Nekomaru let one fact slide.

“ _And since they said I wouldn’t live past twenty, I might as well indulge in what life offers me!” He seemed rather amiable about the subject, which only scared Akane more._

_“W-Wait. What’s that mean, Nekomaru?”_

Akane remembered that she was angry when he told her. She had yelled at him for not being honest with her sooner, and ran off, leaving him in a dumbfounded silence. Of course he followed after her, and found Akane in an alleyway, wiping at her face stubbornly.

_“Akane…?”_

_“Why...Why didn’t you say so earlier?” She asked. Her voice was utterly numb, completely lacking in her usual gusto._

_“I didn’t think it was that important, Akane.” He went to reach for her hand and pull her up to her feet, but Akane slapped it away._

_“Damn it, it’s important to me that you don’t die!” She snapped._

_“Akane, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that it never happens!” His face contained flickers of hurt and concern, from when she slapped his hand._

_“I’m...I don’t want you to go.” Akane murmured. She sunk her head into his chest, restraining the tears that threatened to spill. It was quiet in the park that they were walking through. The sky was too blue, the birds too damn loud. Akane just wanted the world to go away._

_Usually, Nekomaru would put in a cheesy one-liner or statement. He wasn’t one for showing his fear, but he had never tried to hide it. He hadn’t even needed to, because he was just was steady. But now, she could feel his fear leaking from his words. “When it’s my time, it’s my time.”_

_Akane tried to shove Nekomaru into maybe telling a friendly lie. “Don’t freaking say that. Say you’ll be alright.” Still, he remained strong against her. She breathed unevenly, sucking in a harsh breath that felt shaky in the damp air. “You gotta...you gotta promise me you won’t die.”_

_Nekomaru laughed, “I can’t promise that, Akane-“ She glared at him from below, and he weakly smiled in return. “Okay, I promise to not die on your watch! How does that sound?”_

Now he was over 20, probably around 23 or 24, and there was a ticking clock set in his chest. Of course, this time he wasn’t a robot. Everyday was a reminder of how little time he might have had left. Anything she could had said to him could very well be the last time they would talk. It honestly made her want to scream.

More than anything, Akane wanted to be carefree. But how could she relax when she had so much on her mind? Even if they weren’t in a coma, dead, or worse, all 15 of them still had their own issues. They had their own wars inside their heads.

“Akane, what are you doing away from the others?” She heard a voice: Sonia’s. She came to rest up against the railing next to Akane, and looked at her with questioning eyes.

“I, um…”

“In other news, I heard the ship will stop soon!”

“Yeah, okay. Why are we actually goin? You find that out?” Akane asked.

Sonia hummed. “I’m afraid not. All I am aware of is that we were going to the Future Foundation’s base.”

“Huh-Wha?! No one told me that! All Hajime has done is stare off into space, anyway.” Akane wondered how Makoto, their little savior, was doing. He was really tiny, from what she remembered. His voice was squeaky, like her siblings back home.

“Hajime is rather preoccupied. Perhaps that is why he behaved so strangely.” Sonia said somberly.

Akane huffed. “He didn’t even answer my question; probably cause he’s pissed off at me or something.”

“I don’t think so. He’s just worried...for whatever our reason is for returning.” Sonia rapped her fingers on the railing some more. She seemed to be concentrating. “You and I have not talked in awhile.”

“Nah, sorry. I guess we haven’t.” Akane suddenly felt the air go dry, despite the fact that they were sailing across the sea. The sky was becoming more and more red. Fog was floating up near them in puffs.

“Well, I’m glad we can have some Girl Time now!” Sonia cheered.

“Yeah…! What do you wanna talk about?”

“Uh...I… do not know.” Sonia murmured. There was a small moment they shared as they both gazed out to the sea. It was rather cold, salty water flickering up to Akane’s elbows. “Rather plain topics such as boys or makeup won’t do, not right now.”

“Wh-”

“But damn it, if those topics are meant to distract us from the pains of life, so be it!” Sonia is slammed her hands down onto the metal and raised her voice.

Akane leapt back. “Whoa! What’re’ doing?!”

“What is your favorite hospital drama, Akane?” Sonia smiled.

“But I don’t watch TV!”

Sonia needed no introduction. “How could you miss out on so much excitement? My absolute favorite is without a doubt, ‘So Flies the Wind.’ It is an empowering and emotional story about love and overcoming your personal demons.”

“So I’m guessing...that they fight the demons! Is it exciting?!”

“Not that kind of fighting, Akane!”

“Damn, but that sounds boring.”

Sonia giggled quite dastardly. “Just wait until you become invested in the characters!”

“What is this! I don’t get where you’re going with all this!” Akane screamed.

“But I assure you, that I am just making conversation while we wait.” Sonia said back. “Small talk is good for some things, but overall, gossip and TV dramas are the new innovations to lead to future of conversation.”

“Uh...I don’t think it’s that deep, Sonia. If you wanna talk to me, then just talk to me!” Akane scoffed.

Sonia glanced away, lip quivering. “Oh, I guess you’re right. I am quite nervous if I do have to be honest with you…Going back to the very world we destroyed...is a lot to handle.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Akane wasn’t sure what to expect when she returned home. Were the skies just as red? Was the destruction just as commonplace? The Future Foundation was trying its hardest to repair everything Akane took responsibility for, but was despair still rampant? It was just a roll of the dice, and anything could be real. For all she knew, this was all a trap, but she never was one of the sharpest knives in the drawer.

There was another quiet moment. For all the excitement that had happened in the past months, Akane had never checked up on Sonia. Of course, they were friends. Close friends, even. But there was a distance between them now, and Akane didn’t know how to break it. It couldn’t be her, right? Perhaps Sonia had her own issues she needed to work out.

Without a second thought, Akane blurted out a question. “What about your kingdom?”

Clearly, the princess was caught off guard. “W-What?”

“Your homeland? Where you were the princess of?”

“Oh. Novoselic.” Sonia’s eyes were vacant. Her voice was almost inaudible.

Akane leaned forward with a conflicted sigh. “You might get to see your kingdom again, though!”

Sonia placed her hands on the ruffles of her dress. There was something she would not tell Akane willingly. Instead, she smiled tearfully and chuckled to herself. “Maybe so.”

Akane wanted to believe her facade, so she smiled back.

  
**...**

  
The boat had stopped, and it was raining. Through the dark clouds and heavy downpour, Akane could just barely make out the spire of a large building once lost. Helicopters were parked out in front, several people were scattered around, clothed in suits and sunglasses. The faint distant hum of gunfire drove down to her core, and she backed up into someone.

“Akane, you alright?” Mahiru asked, holding her arm slightly for balance. She was scared, terrified even, but she still managed to find someone to smile at.

“We’re here. We’re here, we’re actually-”

“I know.” Mahiru said. “It’s okay, now. I’ll watch over all you girls.”

Akane felt like saying that someone as strong as her shouldn’t need to be protected, but she appreciated the sincerity. “Thanks, Mahiru.” Her heart was beating so fast that she didn’t even notice Hiyoko come up from behind Mahiru, and nervously grasp her hand. Mahiru held it back, tighter this time.

Hajime was looking at the ground now, fists clenched in front of the others. “There’s something wrong. I-I don’t know what…”

“What’s fucking wrong? I mean, why did we een come back in the first place?” Fuyuhiko asked. He was getting angrier by the minute.

“I think we were called here to...finish a task of some sort.” Hajime responded, and turned forward to one of the Future Foundation employees. “Isn’t that right? Is that why you couldn’t tell me?”

“Yes, that’s correct. We forgot to mention the third killing game that just took place.” Sighed the employee. Though she couldn’t see Hajime’s face, his posture dropped all at once. A few gasps of horror rose from the group.

“What-What the hell?!” Kazuchi was the first person to make a sound, then dozens of other voices cascaded with the others.

“Third...killing game?”

“You’ve got to be fucking joking!”

  
“That’s impossible, right?”

“Is...Mr. Naegi alright?” Sonia asked, as calmly as possible.

“He was one of the survivors, Miss Nevermind. However, an ally has just turned rogue. The only people we know who could hold him accountable were all of you.”

“And...who is this rogue?” Hajime lifted his head in order to seem like the proper leader. He was trying his best, after all. Akane could still see the weakness inside him, but he was trying.

“A former student named Ryota Mitarai.” Once the employee spoke, it was like Shohta had stopped moving, or even breathing. He didn’t say anything, in order to hide his identity, but he carefully stood his ground, eyes shimmering more than before. Akane wanted to comfort him in that moment.

“R-Ryota is a-alive? Oh, how wonderful!” Mikan said.

“He was always a bit too small for my standards. But then again, I’m not complaining.” It must have been the first time since...the program that Teruteru made a dirty joke. All heads went to turn to him, mostly astonished more than disgusted. At least he was feeling better?

  
“Ew, gross.” Hiyoko gagged. “He’s back at his disgustingness…”

“It’s what I do best, baby.” Teruteru shot back.

“That’s not important right now. We need to find Ryota.” Shohta suddenly spoke up, and ran past Hajime, up towards the building and disappearing into the misty rain.

“One of your friends has the right idea.” The employee stated blankly. “We don’t have much time.” Akane wondered why the Future Foundation couldn't just do it, since they were here in the first place. The whole thing really was just a trap, of sorts.

“We have to split up. Everyone, get into teams.” Hajime said, and ran off after Shohta.

“I guess no one would get into a team with me, huh? After what I did?” Nagito laughed.

“Yeah, that’s right, bastard. C’mon, Peko. Let’s go.” Fuyuhiko practically dragged Peko after the others. Nagito shrugged, and then followed them.

Akane went to scratch her side, and when she rose to her full height, she noticed that at least half of them were already gone. Mahiru, Ibuki, and Gundham, had all left them. Now, Sonia was next, being creepily stalked by Kazuichi.

“Nekomaru, will you mind accompanying me? I am not that strong, at least compared to you.” Sonia asked wearily. Nekomaru boomed in response, and went to walk by her.

“Of course! That’s my job, after all!”

Akane’s stomach felt wrong, like she had just spent the whole day eating nothing but shellfish. (Which sounded pretty good right about now) Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed Nekomaru’s arm. He made a small grunt in surprise, and turned quickly. “Akane, I have to get going!” Sonia peered around him, and nervously danced in place.

“I know, I just-” Akane really didn’t know why she grabbed him, but time was ticking. She swallowed, and tightened her grip. Even though her nails were digging into his skin, it barely registered to the man as pain.

“Akane…?” Now Nekomaru was confused. Poor thing. It wasn’t a good look on him.

“Nevermind. You just go now, okay?” Akane loosened her grip, and let him go. The words “Be careful” burned on her tongue. It was his heart, that was what was worrying her. Any slip up could be something fatal. She knew he was capable, more than capable, really. It was just...It was just a matter of chance, that he could just drop dead, and she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Even though Nekomaru tilted his head, ready to press her more, Akane suddenly lurched forward, pushing him toward Sonia. “Nekomaru, just go already! C’mon, you know me! Just...messin’ around.” She smiled brightly at him, before turning away and leaving him with Sonia. The smile faded away faster than she wanted it to.

“Miss Sonia, Miss Sonia…! Wait for me!” Kazuichi dashed past Akane and towards the other two, likely to be ignored by her the whole time. Did he not realize the situation they were in? This was a life or death scenario!

Akane blinked and realized she had simply zoned out the whole time. The only ones who had not moved were Mikan, Hiyoko, herself and Teruteru. Now, Mikan was someone that she wanted to protect, and make sure she was safe, but maybe it would be better if she dragged behind. That way, she would be protected.

So before Hiyoko could make a snide comment, Akane saw Teruteru grilling some meat, on a random grill that seemed to teleport into thin air. “You...planning on using that meat to defeat people or whatever?”

“Depends on the scenario.” Teruteru smirked.

“Cool! Come with me, Teruteru!” With that, Akane pulled Teruteru along as she ran inside the building, leaving Mikan and Hiyoko alone.The two girls stared at each other in uttermost defeat. Mikan whimpered, not looking Hiyoko in the eyes.

Hiyoko leaned her back and screamed. “Are you kidding me?! I’m stuck with pig barf?!”

**...**

  
The inside of the building was dark, almost decrepit, and it smelled awful. There were sounds of marching men outside of the building, electronic whistles and tunes, and most importantly, gunfire. Akane shut her eyes tight and hoped none of her friends were involved in anything like that. They were talented, smart people. People like them didn’t just...die from guns.

Guns were the laziest weapon. Whoever used guns were cowards afraid to face the truth: that fighting with fists was the real experience. Even though she was almost about to burst with uneasiness, Akane had to admit that she was excited. All this adrenaline, to be out on the field and dodge and kick and punch once again…! It filled her with an unsteady excitement, that burrowed deep within her gut.

Adrenaline felt really, really good. Even when she was paired with a soft body like Teruteru, it still got her all freaked. She couldn’t keep it all inside.

“So what are those little meats gonna do, Teru?”

“Well, it’s a real good thing I was paired with you, Akane. These babies are packed full of performance enhancers.” Teruteru whistled through the debris filled hallway. It smelled of mildew and week old blood. It reminded her of home.

“What are those?”

  
“Y’know...steroids! You tried them once, way back in the old days? You were a real freak, Akane. I gotta say.” Teruteru said. It was strange that this was the boy who did what he did. He had emerged from the pod so freshly raw in his pain. Now, he was back to normal. What....happened, exactly? Well, Akane wasn’t going to dwell on it.

“I’m a freak?”

“With those flexible legs, I bet they could reach all kinds of places...”

“Hey, thanks! I train all the time, so it’s really worth it!” Akane beamed, confusing Teruteru more than anything else. He didn’t bother saying anything else. Someone like Akane just wasn’t going to get it. “So what are steroids, again? They make me buff?”

“No, they’re energy boosters. Thanks to my cooking skills, you’ll be set for days, my friend!” Teruteru handed her a small piece. “Here, try my delectable meat.”

  
“Yeah, thanks!” Akane shoved it into her mouth. Immediately, the effects came into place. First, there was the taste. How good it tasted. No, more than just good! It had to be some of the best food she had ever had. Then there was the burst of energy that had artificially come into place. Her veins felt like they were on fire. “Holy….crap! Teruteru, your meat is so delicious!”

“I used to get told that all the time.” Teruteru sighed.

Akane would have kept chewing and chewing, if it weren’t for the noise of footsteps running down the hallway. She held up her hand, stopping Teruteru from talking any longer. “Hush, Teru. Someone is coming.” She swallowed roughly, and set her feet in place. “Get the grill ready!”

Teruteru carefully placed the grill on the ground, tossing up several tender pieces that landed in Akane’s hands. He whispered, attention drawing down the hallway. “Yes, Ma’am.”

**...**

Those little meats were impressive, to say the least. Those guards were down before she could blink. The next thing she knew, was that she was standing in front of several collapsed bodies. She could barely even remember what had just trespassed. For a moment, she couldn’t help but be mildly worried.

“Teru, are they...dead?” Akane hoped to god, despite everything, that those men were alive. There had to be limit in seeing dead bodies. Especially if it was caused by her own hands.

“Hm...I hope not.”

Ignoring Teruteru, Akane ran over to one of the men and held two fingers under his jawline. She sighed with relief. There was a steady pulse under her fingertips. “Good. I just punched ‘em.”

Teruteru murmured, turning his head away from the scene. “Nothing wrong with a little rough play!”

“Nah, as long as I don’t kill somebody.” Akane stood up and brushed off her knees. There were flecks of blood on her knuckles. It was surprising that she had managed to dodge the bullets just like that. “Man, I feel weird! What did you even put in those meats?”

“Like I said, Akane, performance enhancers!”

“Yeah, whatever you gave me, I feel dizzy as hell, and-” Akane bent over to try not to vomit. She placed her hands on her knees. The hallway was still quiet as before the fight, all things considered.

“Don’t tell me I killed you too?!” Teruteru whimpered. There was a flicker of uncertainty, maybe insecurity in that voice. How strange it sounded.

“Nah, you’re good.” She said calmly. “Where are the others?”

“Wish I knew, myself.”

There were a few beats of nothingness. The hallway got creepier the more they stayed inside. Wherever they were, they needed to find that Ryota, the boy that Shohta mentioned. When she really concentrated, really listened to outside of the walls, she could hear it. Softly and soundly, it was more gunfire. She could recognize those thumps and booms from years ago. Not just as a remnant, (truth be damned) but as a survivor in her childhood home.

“I think I hear them.” Akane pointed to a subsection of the hallway. It jutted out into a brand new hallway, completely separate. Maybe less of a hallway, and more of a tunnel.

“You...hear them?”

“You’re not listenin’, Teruteru?! Here, don’tcha hear it?”

“Just barely…” He said.

“Well, c’mon! We can’t just sit here and relax! We gotta...We gotta go!” Longing to breathe in the fresh air, Akane swung up Teruteru onto her shoulder, adjusting to his weight, and leaped off down the tunnel. He hummed in surprise, mostly enjoyment, as his body balanced gracefully upon her shoulders.

**...**

  
Ryota was small, and sad, and underfed. He was their age, and he looked younger because of how meek he appeared. His arms too long and too thin, his face gaunt and pale, his legs wobbly and malnourished. He was the very definition of weak, and yet Akane could not hate him for such a thing. Akin to the starving families back home, Ryota was a sick puppy who had too many thoughts racing through his mind. He was doing something wrong, (Which Akane hadn’t really figured out what exactly he did yet) but he held such a pathetic kind of innocence that let you know, deep down, that he was kind.

Watching the scene unfold, held something dear in her heart. Every fragile moment that passed, faster and slower all the same, killed her. She barely knew this boy, and it still killed her. Seeing his eyes glisten as Shohta came into view, embracing him as he sobbed to the floor, did something to her. He was just so small, helpless, in the span of everything and everyone around him.

But Akane was happy, because Shohta was happy. As his hands stayed firm around Ryota, his long lost friend, he held a sweet smile upon his face, fingers clenching softly around his friend. They had all agreed to take him in, with Hajime as the instigator. Sure, Ryota had tried to brainwash all of humanity, but they had all done so much worse. Why not spend the rest of his life on a tropical island?

It seemed unfair, and in a way, it was.

But the moment went on, and more tears were shed. As the rest of her friends smiled to comfort Ryota, someone they always knew but not really, Akane felt a presence near them. It was a peculiar smell, one that smelled of blood, smoke, and mint toothpaste. She glanced around to try to find it. But this mysterious person was nowhere to be seen.

In the corner of her eye, Nekomaru stood tall and proud, not once giving someone the impression he actually had a rare circulatory disease. Akane bit her lip, and slowly stepped closer to him. She just wanted to hear it, just in case. Luckily he didn’t notice her being a weirdo. He’d probably be so freaked about me worrying so much! Akane thought. But that was just depressing. Why would he be surprised about her caring for him? Because...she was always just a selfish person? Was that it?

She clenched her teeth, and looked forward, training her eyes to where Hajime stood and talked quietly to Shohta and Ryota, who was now calming down. It would be a few more minutes before they all disbanded. The sun was brighter than it had ever been before. It truly was a beautiful day, and an even better day to see what the world really looked like now. Blue skies, groups of people dedicated to rebuilding it… This was what the world really needed.

Even though it hurt, that the request to see her siblings wouldn’t be fulfilled, Akane knew that without a doubt, that they would be safe. Because the truth was, Akane was dangerous. Her and all the others, were criminals. Her siblings...didn’t need to see their sister like that. They couldn’t see her scars and sins all out in the open. They deserved to live a good life, and Akane couldn’t give that to them. Not anymore.

It hurt. It hurt so bad that she felt like she had to scream, but she didn’t. Maybe it was for the better of mankind that they wouldn’t come back. Even if that meant they would have to deal with their wrongdoings for the rest of their miserable lives, they wouldn’t be home. As much as it tore open her insides that she would probably never get to hear her siblings laugh again, it was the right thing to do, right?

 

 


	20. Don't Miss the Boat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets ready to head back, someone is invited to the lessons, and Akane feels a strange emotion!!!!!!! >:O !!! what!!!!!!!

  
Makoto Naegi looked older than he had back then. He was a man now, still young, but a man nevertheless. Alone he stood, a lot of topics surfacing through his mind. He appeared stressed, yet resilient. Seeing that boy again, was like meeting an old friend. There he was, the boy that saved them all. And man, did he not look the part. Normal brown hair, normal hazel eyes, normal clothes, normal everything...And yet...he was everything to them. There was just a special kindness that he held in his heart. It was apparently obvious to some, made dull to others.

Nagito had brushed past Mikan on the skyline to get to him, chattering on about how “Makoto was the perfect ray of hope” or whatever. Akane barely heard him, because she was dashing to save Mikan, who had fallen overboard the railing of the walkway. She sat on the ground, slightly perturbed by such a sudden fall. She seemed okay for the most part.

“Mikan?! You alright?” Akane called down to her.

“U-Um, y-yes! Just a small scratch…” Mikan stood off the shore, and smiled up at her. Akane nodded and backed off, letting Nekomaru catch up to her. Hiyoko and Mahiru were just right behind them, and Nagito was still clasping onto poor Makoto’s hands, not even close to letting him go.

“Akane…” Nekomaru tilted his head towards the scene. She knew exactly what he meant.

“Yep!”

Coming up from behind Nagito, the two scooped him up and started to carry him away. Nagito barely made them any trouble, just laughing to himself as she balanced him between her and Nekomaru. He was very light, even with the robotic arm. Man, Akane really had so much to say to Naegi. Too bad Komaeda ruined everything!

“H-His hands were so soft!” Nagito chuckled, dreamily sighing. Akane rolled her eyes and sighed. There wasn’t anything she could do about Nagito anymore. As much as she just wanted to punch him and never stop punching him, she knew it would mean nothing. And when Chiaki had quickly slapped her across the cheek, did that mean nothing? Akane could still feel the sting, and Chiaki’s regretful eyes.

“Man, does he get gayer every year?” Hiyoko sneered.

“Just keep it together, Komaeda!” Mahiru chirped, lending a hand on Hiyoko’s shoulder.

“I could have been in that moment forever…” Nagito sighed once again, and Akane groaned. While still carrying him away, Akane glanced back for one second, and saw Makoto watching them walk down the stairs. He looked mystified, even a bit frightened. His eyes were under shadowed by grey. But when he noticed her staring, he smiled earnestly and waved. Akane smiled and waved back. That would most likely be their final goodbye. Makoto had Kyoko and Byakuya and probably many others to watch after. He didn’t need to concern himself with despairs such as herself.

Without noticing where she was stepping, Akane tripped over the first step and fell. Her face dove towards the concrete, and she let out a pathetic scream, tearing Nagito from her grasp. Mahiru gasped from behind them, voice flooded with concern. Akane kept falling and falling until...she stopped.

She opened her eyes and saw the ground only a few inches from her nose. She sighed, and realized that her shirt’s collar was being pulled upwards, and she was yanked up by Nekomaru.

At once, he began to reprimand her. Nagito was still on his shoulder, chilling. “Akane! You can’t be so reckless!” His voice held both anger and concern.

“Oh, my god. You totally almost destroyed your face!” Hiyoko called.

“Are you okay, Akane?!” Mahiru asked.

Akane bit her lip and ran down the stairs, escaping the others. “I looked back for one second!”

“And almost caved your face in!” Nekomaru shouted back.

Akane ignored him until the other four had made it down to the shore line. The ship still sat in the harbor, and everyone else appeared to be on the deck. Ibuki was dancing strangely around Shohta and Mr. Mitarai, for one. More and more of her friends were leaving off the dock, and all Akane could think was: Why so soon? There had to be more to do, right? More to see? And no matter what Akane could say to herself, her siblings would never leave her mind.

Akane suddenly stopped walking. There was something she could do, but that would be stupid, probably. Out of the many people stuck on the boat, it wouldn’t be hard to miss one, would it? She wouldn't mind knocking out a few more guys to do it. Anything would be worth it. She just had to know. She just had to find out if they were safe.

“Get out of the way, Akane!” Nekomaru barely brushed past her, Nagito still on his shoulder.

“Hello, Akane.” Nagito said cheerfully.

“What do you mean, ‘Hello’? You just saw me!” Akane snapped.

“Just making conversation.” He chirped. As much as he infuriated her, maybe she needed to take it easier on Nagito.

“That’s...cool-” Akane was cut off by Hiyoko, who bumped into her, probably on purpose. Akane was thrown off balance, and was thrown away several feet. Nagito and Nekomaru were already on the dock, and she was left with the two girls.

“Don’t be a brain dead idiot! What, you stopped functioning?” Hiyoko cooed. Akane merely shook her head in return, as Mahiru gasped in offense.

“No. I’m just thinkin.” Akane muttered, and turned away.

“Hiyoko, we need to work on that...attitude of yours.” Mahiru said, “I’m sorry, Akane.”

Akane smiled. “Nah, I’m not hurt or nothing. You two run off.”

“Mahiru, I didn’t mean to-” Hiyoko’s eyes watered. “It’s not my fault Akane bullies me everyday!” She began to obviously fake cry. She had to be about 22 or 23 years old, did she? Suddenly, the whole crying schtick was far less cute now that she was 5’6 and looked like a grown woman.

“Hey! I only bullied you once!” Akane yelped.

“Ugh, usually I don’t have problems with you two!” Mahiru covered her eyes with her hands and groaned fiercely. Hiyoko strangely appeared fragile without the unconditional love and support of Mahiru. Her lip quivered, and Akane wondered if that was fake that time.

“Mahiru…?” Hiyoko cried.

“I’ll talk to you later, Hiyoko, okay?” Mahiru raised her head and grinned brightly. “It’s okay. We just gotta...work on this.” Mahiru took her hands and placed them on Hiyoko’s, and then gently pushed her towards the direction of the ship.

“Mahiru…” Hiyoko wiped her face with her sleeve and stumbled away. She was defeated, and Akane couldn’t help but feel like it was her fault.

“I’m sorry, Akane. I’m really trying to work with her, y’know.” Mahiru sighed and watched Hiyoko leave the scene.

“Nah, I still like her and stuff.” Akane scratched her neck.

“Well, I like her too. I’ve just...well, I’ve noticed her...y’know.” Mahiru grimaced, “And that’s really disappointing. We all just gotta work together, y’know?”

“Yeah! You’re right.” Akane didn’t really know why Mahiru of all people was talking to her. Especially that Akane was deep in thought, and considering things she wasn’t exactly proud of. Akane pretended to think hard about something, hopefully so Mahiru could leave her alone and let her...consider her plan.

But Mahiru pressed Akane forward. “A-Anyway, I was thinking about something...that could help. I’ve heard about...well, meetings that happen on the island every week.” Mahiru tugged Akane onto a steady walk to the ship. Internally, Akane started to scream. How she hated the tortuously slow stroll, when she just had to move, or do something!

“Meetings, huh…?” Akane huffed, holding in energy and stress that was unnecessary in the first place. The two of them were getting closer and closer to the boat.

“Yeah! I heard they’re really exclusive, but I know you started them. I believe everyone on the island wants on the action! B-But if everyone starts joining, then it wouldn’t be secret anymore, would it?” Mahiru giggled.

“Oh...wait! Are you talkin’ about the Normal Lessons? People actually wanna join?”

“Is that what they’re called? Wow.” Mahiru hummed. “I’ve never pictured you as a therapist, Akane.”

“A...a what-now? Nah, I’m just the leader! Basically we just hang out and talk and...uh, try to become normal?” The more she described it, Normal Lessons were sounding way less professional and cool than she had intended months ago.

“Are you guys considering... a new member anytime soon?” Mahiru was acting sly, so Akane had to cut her off, just before they boarded the ship. Everyone else was on board, probably waiting for them.

“But Mahiru, you’re already super normal!”

Mahiru blinked several times, blushed, and laughed awkwardly. “Don’t tell me everyone thinks of me that way, right?” She paused and shook her head, “But um, no! I’m talking about Hiyoko!”

“Yeah, Hiyoko’s got a lotta problems…” Akane muttered. “I’ll consider it.” The thing was, however, why would Akane plan out another member joining, when she was thinking of leaving herself?

“Ah, thanks, Akane! I really, really appreciate that.” Mahiru hugged her tightly before running up to the main deck. Akane didn’t know what to do, completely stuck in place. She really didn’t want to leave, but-

“AKANE!” a voice called down to her. “You’re slowing us down!” Akane didn’t even have to guess who it was. She pushed herself to run after Mahiru, and balled her hands into fists so tightly she forgot to breathe ever so slightly.

 

**...**

It took awhile for the ship to actually start. Akane couldn’t help but feel like a coward as the Future Foundation’s base got smaller and smaller in the distance. People like Makoto had slowly disappeared into nothingness. They were gone forever, and Akane had missed her chance. Now she was headed back with the only people she could even be seen around, heading home. That island...was it even her home?

If she had to admit it, Akane had never found her home. Sure, she had houses she lived in, beds she slept in. She had her apartment back home, with her siblings inside, hopefully. She had Hotel Mirai, with the people she loved like family, but that wasn’t where she belonged.

Junko Enoshima. The name held nothing but poison, and she was beyond dead, beyond recognition. If in fact she was not dead, Akane wouldn’t even think to consider not harming her. Once she would have her hands on Junko, she wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t-

“We’re having dinner.” A quiet voice shook Akane out of her trance. She wasn’t near Junko at all. She was on the bow of the ship, staring out into the horizon as the sun dove underneath the sea. The sky was pink and the air was salty, yet fresh. Akane turned her head to see Shohta. He had taken off his disguise. It was ironic that his disguises were now uncommon compared to his...actual face.

“Hey, buddy.” Akane said. “What’s up?”

“Well, it’s just that we started eating, and you are the only one not joining us-”

  
“I...I’ll come down in a sec.” Akane muttered. Honestly, the premise of food was not tempting her at the moment, which terrified her. She knew that she needed to eat, but… She couldn’t stop looking at the ocean. It was enticing her, pulling her in.

“...Come on, let’s get you downstairs.” Shohta gently grabbed her arm, and pushed her away from the edge. “I don’t trust you alone up here.”

“You don’t...trust me?”

“I wouldn’t trust anyone in this scenario. Don’t worry, I’m quite used to it, honestly.” Shohta didn’t need to persuade her further. Akane was easy to move, since there wasn’t much holding her together at this point. Downstairs, she could hear the clink of silverware and the friendly rouse of voices. She knew she had to, but then people would ask her questions, and then she’d have to answer, and-

“Are you...going downstairs? Because, we’ve got two plates of food waiting for us. I need to maintain the figure, y’know.” Shohta huffed.

“Yup. I’m...just…” Akane exhaled heavily, and forced a smile. “Would you actually believe I was planning on leaving today?”

This time, Akane caught Shohta off guard. He hesitated, and did a double take. “What? You mean by leaving the actual island?”

“The Future Foundation one, yeah.” Akane murmured, with a soft smile upon her face. “I don’t know. I’ve just got some people waiting for me, and I really just needed to see ‘em.”

“Hm. I didn’t have anyone back-” Shohta stopped himself before he could continue further. “Wait. Did you just say you were planning on leaving us on the Future Foundation’s island?”

“Uh...yeah. I just said that.”

“Akane, you do know that the Future Foundation’s island is well, an island, right? You can’t leave just by yourself, unless you’ve got a boat.”

Akane laughed, turning red. “But they had those spinny things. The uh…”

“Helicopters?”

“Ha, Yeah! Forgot the name.”

  
“Do you know how to pilot a helicopter?” Shohta asked. He was smiling slightly. Akane wasn’t sure if it was endearing or terrifying. There was a underlying charm in something so mysterious.

“Nope. I guess I’m stuck with all of you dudes.” Akane rubbed her eyes and yawned. “Sometimes I get so stuck inside my own head, that I just…”

Then, the former imposter smiled genuinely and crossed his arms. He held an almost fatherly vibe, and that was strange enough for her. “I’m glad you decided to stick with us, Akane.”

  
“Please...just don’t tell anyone I thought about that.”

“Well, you kept the secret about Teruteru, correct?”

Right. Teruteru’s mother... She must have never told a single soul, not even mentioning it to Teruteru himself. He was just acting like his old self, too. “Yeah. His secret’s still safe.”

“Then I won’t tell anyone at all, okay, Akane?” Shohta glanced once at her and then at the stairs. “Well, my plate’s gonna get cold.” He then left her to consider her decisions.

Akane nodded, and swallowed heavily as she ran down the stairs, passing him. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her head. She couldn’t think straight anymore, running around aimlessly like a spinning top. One day, she’d be honestly alright. She wouldn’t have to think about her life, or the things she did, or her siblings. Some other days, she would lie in her own self pity. This was sadly one of those days.

She traveled down an empty hallway, once passing by a crew member of the ship. He avoided looking at Akane, glancing ever so slightly with quivering lips. He sucked in a sharp breath and scurried past her, like she was some kind of...monster. Akane placed her arm in front of her eyes, seeing every single scar that littered her skin. Her chest felt tight, and she forced herself to open the door to the dining hall, seeing every face at once.

“Akane’s here! See? I told you guys she didn’t die!” Ibuki called. “Yodelay-hee-hoo, Akane!”

Within minutes, Akane had gobbled up everything on her plate. Perhaps she still had her usual appetite, but strangely didn’t feel like seconds. She was squished between Fuyuhiko and Nekomaru, facing Peko, Shohta, and Ryota.

Speaking of Ryota, he seemed to be doing quite better. Akane briefly recognized him as a boy she might have seen once or twice. He was eating, with Shohta’s encouragement, and was drowning in questions of concern from basically everyone else. Despite all the sudden pressure, Ryota seemed to be hanging on. He was shy, and very awkward, but he was hanging on. Akane avoided the conversation by playing with the fork she had on her plate, scraping it against the porcelain.

“Argh, Akane. Cut out the noise...uh, please.” Fuyuhiko said. “I’ve got a major headache.”

Akane stopped at once. Peko’s head rose at the sound of his voice. Her plate was especially full. In fact, she had gone for thirds. “Headache?”

“Yeah. I’ve been getting them all the fucking time now. It’s really annoying.”

“You’ve gotta drink as much cold water as you can, Fuyuhiko! That way, you can enjoy a healthy lifestyle.” Nekomaru supplied.

“Uh...okay. I’ll keep that in mind.” Fuyuhiko hummed. “I still can’t believe we’re going back to Jabberwock Island. I mean, just how are we expected to live there?”

“I know we were given more supplies for the long run.” Shohta said. “I think more clothes, more frozen meats, all of those.”

“Nice!” was all Akane said.

“B-But...we’re actually living there, right? I’ve got no choice anymore, do I?” Ryota sounded much more meek when he was right in front of her. She couldn’t help but be astonished at how...just...weak he was! Shohta was right. The boy appeared starved and sleep deprived, and all together sick.

“I guess not. We have to live with our choices, as shitty as they were.” Nekomaru said. His voice was so loud, even when he wasn’t even trying to. It basically shook the table.

“But that’s the thing, though. It sucks. It fucking sucks.” Fuyuhiko groaned. “I know...I know what we have to do, and I’m not trying to say that, but…”

“Fuyuhiko…” Peko whispered. She involuntarily placed a hand above her waist, right on her belly. Akane couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She hadn’t told him yet, Akane guessed.

Fuyuhiko dragged a hand across his face, giving into his headache. “Sorry, Peko. I guess I’m not thinking right. I mean, we’re basically taking the fall for the Future Foundation, and we all know how screwed they are.”

“You’re blaming the Foundation for something out of their control?” Shohta asked. The air had suddenly gotten tighter. Nekomaru and Akane exchanged an awkward glance. Breaking the intensity, Akane reached over to Nekomaru’s plate and snatched away a meatball.

“Hey!” He rumbled, but then shut up seeing the situation around them. Akane enjoyed one last meatball before Fuyuhiko broke the silence.

“I didn’t really mean that, okay? I’m just…”

“I should get you to bed, Fuyuhiko.” Peko stood up and straightened out her hair. It was amazing how much longer it had gotten. She walked to the other side of the bench, and practically pulled him up from his seat.

“Uh-Hey! Let me fucking down, Peko!” Fuyuhiko squirmed for a little bit, and then suddenly dropped, giving up. “Please?”

Peko looked down, pulling her lips into a sly smile. “No. You need your rest.” Akane felt her pride essentially bloom in her chest.

“And cold water!” Nekomaru added.

“And cold water.” Peko said.

Fuyuhiko sighed with defeat. “Alright. Let’s go back.” Then, the two left the mess hall and everyone in it. They left with their fingers barely touching. Peko’s head was just barely turned to show that she was smiling and murmuring to him. Who would have thought?

“Fuyuhiko made quite the turnaround.” Shohta said. “He called me a fatso when I first met him. Happy times, I guess.”

“He...he really said that?” Ryota whimpered.

“Insults don’t bother me, Ryota.” Shohta took a long swig of his glass and set it down.

“I’m...glad he got better?” Ryota shrugged. “But I still got to learn all of your names...including you.” He gestured to the imposter.

“I’ll tell you...later.” Shohta said.

“You know that we all know your name right?!” Nekomaru laughed. “Not much of a secret anymore!”

“Perhaps…” Shohta got up from his seat, and took up his plate. “I’m going to my corridors. Good night.”

“Wa-Wait! I still need to know!” Ryota followed Shohta out of the hall, without even throwing away his left over food.

Akane dragged his plate to her side, and started chewing through the good bits. Nekomaru sighed, “Do you ever stop?” She could tell he was half amused, if anything.

“Nope. I just got all of my hunger back, and I need to gain all that...uh, energy back.” Akane dug into what she guessed was a dry piece of beef. It didn’t taste that great.

Nekomaru didn’t talk for a long time, and the mess hall got quieter and quieter as the others retreated to their temporary rooms. She stood up from the bench and stretched her legs. “Ugh, I was sittin’ for so long, huh, coach? I’ve got all these cramps and stuff-”

“They make a good couple, don’t they?”

“Huh?” He had said that so quickly, that Akane had to glance backwards at him with an expression she had never donned before. “Man, you’re talking so weird right now.”

“Usually...I never discussed romance with others, or even romantic plot lines in those old soap operas I used to-” Nekomaru stopped himself before he continued further, “But Peko and Fuyuhiko...wow. I’ve never seen two people so in sync. It’s incredible!”

Akane agreed, on the inside. They were good together, a match seemingly destined by otherworldly deities or whatever was out there. But she had to say something. “You used to watch soap operas, old man? Aren’t those the really sappy-”

Nekomaru’s face, for once, turned a bright red.“There’s nothing inherently shameful in watching them! They’re emotionally compelling, okay?”

“Emotionally compelling?!” Akane started laughing, and laughing harder and harder. 

“What’s wrong with that?” He couldn’t help but crack a smile, and then chuckle a bit more. “You don’t even watch TV. How could you understand?”

“Well, at least I’m not ‘melon dramatic!" Akane screamed, her confidence rising within her heart, until she noticed it. In the silence of the dining hall, Nekomaru struggled to hold in his laughter. He looked in pain. Akane grunted, “What did I say this time? If you freaking laugh, then-”

Then, he completely lost it. Any poor soul probably asleep on the ship was awake now. Even if they were the only two people in the room, Akane could feel her embarrassment boil.

“What? Don’t tell me I said it wrong!” Akane punched his arm. He was still laughing. She punched him again. “I said it wrong, didn’t I?!”

“Gah-haha! I am definitely not gonna spar with you right now! The boat would split in half, so don’t try anything.”

"Who says I'm gonna try anything?" she snapped back, equally with a sharp grin. Nekomaru looked away, but with a smile of his own. Soon, the area became very quiet. The air was almost vacant of sound. Still, it was not the bad kind. This was not the silence Akane hated with her being. This was not the moment before a gunshot, or the calm before the storm. This was...Well, she wan't quite sure.

Time passed by quickly. The two of them became comfortable in their own silence, and she felt her cheeks warm. Nekomaru had calmed down a little bit, and he settled into a yawn instead. “Shit, we should get back.”

“I wasn’t trying to...fight ya.” Akane yawned back. “Seriously, did I say that wrong?”

Nekomaru started to chuckle again. Akane watched him as he did so. It put a rather warm feeling in the atmosphere. She decided she liked that feeling. She liked the way his shoulders shook with mirth, and the way he looked at her, like she meant something to him. Her heart was racing again, and she looked down at her legs, which were shaking. Why on earth would she be scared? What was there to be scared of?

Akane sat still, fingers trembling. Nekomaru looked down at her with expectancy. “Akane…? Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah, just…” Akane mumbled, her heart was beating faster than before. Wanting so badly to do anything to shut down her nerves, Akane looked away as she slapped her hand roughly against Nekomaru’s. She gritted her teeth together and hoped to god that her cheeks wouldn’t heat up any longer than they needed to.

He grunted in surprise, almost laughing from the awkwardness. “What are you doing?!”

“Agh, I’m just-” Akane dropped her gaze. “I’m just...really glad you’re here, Nekomaru.” Her hand felt insanely naked against his own, and it made her feel all kinds of stupid. But she was glad he was here. She really was, and that’s what made her the most apprehensive in the end.

Feeling her trembling fingers, Nekomaru managed a soft smile and placed his hand on top of her own, unravelling their fingers so they could slot together. She really wasn’t sure what to say, so she hesitantly peered upwards at him. He clumsily stared back at her, still maintaining that stupid grin. Underneath that short smile however, was nervousness. She could tell that he probably didn’t expect that at all, and he was still trying to cope with it.

Man, her heart was about to jump out of her chest. She didn’t know what had gotten over her, and it made her feel ill. But this kind of ill was not necessarily...bad. No, it made her breath feel light, like she could barely even taste the air. Her limbs had stopped convulsing, and he had steadied her now. Looking at him, it made her feel as if she could do anything, but at the same time…

She was _scared_.

“I’m glad I’m here, too!” he said after a pregnant pause. He coughed to break the sudden awkwardness, but did not remove his hand. Instead, he gripped tighter and glanced away, shifting slightly from side to side. Akane did nothing but stare into the metal bench. If she looked closely, she could see the dark circles under her eyes, and the flecks of dried blood on her cheeks.

Nekomaru was still probably gazing at her, attempting to talk some more to add anything to the conversation other than a stutter. She peered at him behind a strand of her hair that draped over her face. Was it just how late it was, that she noticed how bright his eyes were? Maybe she just hadn’t realized how...well, magnificent he was. The natural way he smiled earnestly and laughed with her, the ways he would keep an eye out for others and never look back. He was _such_ a beautiful person, and he never even acknowledged it once.

Seeing that she wasn’t going to interject the empty air, Nekomaru slowly took his hand from her’s and got up from the bench. He patted her shoulder, and muttered a “Good night, Akane” before sauntering off to his room. Akane sat there for the longest time, not even blinking. More than anything, she wanted to know this feeling, this god awful feeling that encouraged her to think weird thoughts. She didn’t go to bed for a long time, just sitting by herself alone in the cafeteria, counting the crumbs on the table as she forced her heartbeat to compose.

But as she sat there, mildly hating her rashness, the feeling of his hand stayed longer than it should have, and she forced herself to close her eyes and pretend she didn't feel a thing. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow...the amount of kudos and comments is unbelievable! I am living rn! you guys are too kind to me. As we are now heading towards the turning point of the story, the updates will probably be a little slower. This means like one chapter per few days. I don't want to rush or post too much, but I still have my schedule. The last few chapters are being written right now. I think the story will go to about 28 or 30? So far, it's going good!
> 
> Thank you all for everything!!!!(;﹏;)


	21. Breaking the Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another time skip, and the last fluffy/happy chapter before...the bad stuff happens. And let me tell you...man, chapter 22 is gonna be a doozy....yikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright here's a rather late update. thank you all for waiting and for all the support and kind words!!!!!! (*＾▽＾)／ this chapter is mostly a character building chapter and an end to the arc of a few characters, except Akane's of course. And also i have not forgotten about ryota! he'll show up later!

“Okay, let’s do a role call!” Akane paced in a thin line in front of Peko and Mikan. It was a standard Tuesday in the ranch yard. She crossed her arms before swiftly turning around, wild hair slapping her in the face.

“We only have three people, including you. Why would we need to do a role call-” Peko was interrupted by Akane’s crude interruption. 

“Hey! I’m the leader here, and my word is basically my…” Akane murmured off.

“B-Bond?” Mikan stammered.

“Whatever! I decided that doing a role call thing might liven things up! So first off, let’s get into business.” Akane said. “When I say your name, just say ‘here’, okay?”

“U-Um...okay…” Mikan murmured. “Here!”

“No, Mikan! You’re not supposed to say it yet!” Akane yelped.

“Eee! I’m sorry!” Mikan wailed.

“No, Mikan! I need your confidence! More confidence! That means you can’t say sorry anymore!” Akane stepped forward, and got into Mikan’s face.

“I can’t say s-sorry?! For any situation?!” Mikan, clearly, was at a loss.

Thankfully, Peko stepped in. She placed a hand on her stomach to steady herself as she nearly wobbled in place. She must have been four months in at this point. It was a strange sight to see a Peko with mood swings, let alone random food cravings. But to see the cat out of the bag, and witness Fuyuhiko and her happy and excited to be new parents, it was all worth it. From what Akane had remembered, he had taken it surprisingly well, embracing Peko as he attempted not to sob. However, almost everyone on the island knew he was nervous as hell. It was completely understandable. After all, a lot of them still had the emotional stability of teenagers.

“Mikan, please do not listen to her at the moment.” Peko said.

Akane scoffed. “Whoah, what’re you doin?”

Peko stammered. “W-Well, saying sorry is necessary at times-”

“Yeah, I know that! But I’ just gettin’ excited, okay?! So I got all these new snacks, and I’m ready to try ‘em all out-” Akane reached into her convenient backpack and pulled out the morsels. “Look, I didn’t even stuff them into my shirt this time!”

“That’s good…” Peko whispered. “Akane, you’re improving."

Akane reached out her fit into the sky and cheered. “Woo! I’m improvin'! What about you guys? Mikan, when was the last time you tripped over nothing?”

“U-Um, I think about...one month ago!” Mikan was the shining star of their lessons; one that was glowing brighter and brighter every day. Her arms were smoothed and healed, though the scars still remained. It was almost as if she were a different person. Not a particularly contrasted version, but different nonetheless.

Akane hummed thoughtfully. “See? That’s good! Peko, did you laugh recently?”

“...Well, I heard a joke just the other day…”

“Would you care to explain it?” Mikan smiled with enthusiasm.

“No, thank you.” Peko said.

“Well, you know! I think these Normal Lessons have really paid off.” Akane grinned with pride. “Now, it’s safe to say that I-” She was cut off by a small noise by the fence. It was a cute, feminine voice, carrying a malicious tone.

“H-Hey, you losers…!”

From what Akane could tell by Peko and Mikan’s expressions, this was not an expected visitor. Mikan’s expression was particularly filled with dread. When Akane turned around, she realized she hadn’t expected her for months, maybe more.

“Hiyoko! Wow, you finally came!” Akane shouted and ran to her, rubbing her head with elation. “Mahiru said-”

“I know what Mahiru said, about four months ago!” Hiyoko snapped.

Peko asked. She looked unconvinced. “Hiyoko was invited?” Hiyoko sighed with annoyance at that.

“What does that say about…you not coming until now?” Akane asked.

Hiyoko grinned with faux sweetness.“Well, obviously hanging out with you creepos is going to damage my reputation around here! So, I just...pretended to go.”

Akane saw that both Peko and Mikan were perturbed. Mikan especially was clenching her small fists with probably anxiety. Akane scoffed. “Why are you suddenly here?”

Hiyoko coughed. “Mahiru might have found out...about me just not...going, so she got all mopey. It’s a whole thing. I wouldn’t want to go into it.”

“W-Well…” Mikan walked with careful steps over to where Akane stood. She struggled to find the proper words, and Akane could tell she was frightened. “I don’t mind if you go into it. After all, we a-are now in this together…! Right, Akane?”

“Yeah! Totally!” Akane boomed.

Hiyoko cocked her head, and took her opportunity to strike. “It’s not your business, Pig Barf. Or I’m sorry, are your big ears not working after all? Hey, Dumbo, wh-”

“Hey! You don’t get to-” Akane was interrupted by a soft hand on her shoulder.Mikan, who was slightly trembling, looked to her for reassurance. With one glance, Akane gave her the “go for it” signal.

Mikan swallowed and stood her ground. “You know, you don’t have to be here.” Akane grinned her biggest grin, and Mikan shyly smiled back.

Whereas Hiyoko was beyond shocked, and deeply concerned. “W-What?! You really think that shit is gonna bother me?” She was blushing furiously, probably from getting caught off guard.

“Why don’t you join us, Hiyoko?” Peko came up to rest between Akane and Mikan.

“Ugh, why is Miss 200 Pounds gonna boss me around-”

“Stop it, Hiyoko! Stop it!”

Akane realized she had her jaw hanging open by the time Mikan had spat out those words. Peko as well, was mesmerized. Despite her excursion, Mikan remained proud. Her hands were shaking, so Akane firmly patted her on the arm for good measure. Hiyoko was even more frightened than she was before.

“What-What the hell happened to her?”

Mikan bowed her head. “My apologies, Hiyoko! Would you like to join us, now?”

Hiyoko, now turned into a statue, simply nodded her head and sat down.

**...**

  
“So...how are you and Mahiru doing?” Akane asked, biting into a freshly made rice ball. Teruteru had recently crafted them, and damn, if they weren’t delicious.

“What kind of-What kinda question even is that?” Hiyoko stuttered. Man, was it satisfying to watch a bully crumble.

“You and her are very close.” Peko said. There was an underlying slyness in the way she spoke. 

“Yeah...Done any kissing recently?” Akane laughed.

“What?! I-I…!” Hiyoko rung her hands together and screamed. “You invite me to just to bully me? I-I don’t buy your shitty act, okay?”

Akane waved her hand in discursiveness. “Woah! I ain’t bullying you! We just think you guys are cool.”

“You don’t know how to talk to girls at all, Owari!” Hiyoko snipped like a tiny, annoying dog. She was blushing like a fool and extremely moody. However, she could leave anytime she wanted, and yet she never did. She sat glued to the very spot she sat 30 minutes ago.

“Only first name basis from here on out!” Akane snarled back. “We see you two holding hands and kissing and crap. It’s real sappy, but cool or whatever!”

“H-Holding hands and kissing? Aw, I am happy for you two!” Mikan sang. “And what of Peko and Fuyuhiko?” Hiyoko glared at Mikan with the fire of a thousand suns,

Peko smiled sweetly. “We are doing well. I cannot wait until we find the gender of the baby.”

“Whatever it’s gonna be, that kid is gonna be a real kick!” Akane said.

“How is a baby even gonna survive out here? We live on a tropical island!” Hiyoko called out.

“We have medicine, food, and plenty of water. I’m sure the child will grow up fine.” Mikan pointed out.

“Yeah. Besides, I’m gonna teach that little fella everything he or she has gotta know!” Akane shouted.

“Oh, thank you, Akane.” Peko was taken aback. “But please do not teach my child about anything dangerous, especially in the infant stage.”

Akane sighed and shook her head. “I-I wasn’t gonna do parkour with a baby, if that’s what you were sayin.'”

“I was saying exactly that.” Peko said. She seemed to be joking, but not really.

“Y-Yes, Akane. We cannot have you flying from roof to roof with a baby!” Mikan sputtered.

“I hope you f-fall and die, because these Normal Lessons suck!” Hiyoko screeched with fire in her eyes. There was a pregnant pause in the conversation, and Akane ended up snorting with laughter.

“First off, there’s no way I could die from parkour, because I’m so amazing at it.”

Peko remained calm as ever. She placed her hands on her knees and smiled gently at Hiyoko. “How would you change the Normal Lessons, Hiyoko?”

“W-Well, I…” Hiyoko bit her lip. “I think just sitting here talking about dumb shit isn’t going to get us anywhere, you know!”

“It got them somewhere!” Akane pointed to Mikan and Peko.

Hiyoko scoffed and crossed her arms. “Well, it’s not going to get me anywhere! So you better get used to it, dumbass!”

  
Akane brought a finger to her lip and thought about a scenario. One idea was certain, and that was that Hiyoko Saionji needed to change, and fast. Maybe the Normal Lessons were considered boring to some. A little difference wouldn’t hurt anybody, right?

**...**

  
“Okay, now add the eggs! Stir them up, stir them up!” Akane held a splitting bag of flour, and nearly shoved it into Mikan’s face. The kitchen was a disaster. Egg whites and yolk splattered the tiled walls, flour was covering the floor, and Hiyoko had slipped at least five times. It was a good thing (but not really) that Akane still knew how to pick locks. The only problem was that Teruteru had no idea.

“O-Okay! Adding the eggs!” Mikan’s voice shook from Akane’s own intensity. She dumped the egg mix into the bowl.

“Alright, that’s it! Now lemme get this bad boy in here.” Akane turned over the bag of flour.

“Ew, you’re gonna get it everywhere!” Hiyoko spit some out of her mouth.

“What about Teruteru?” Peko asked.

“He’ll probably be fine with it, Peko. I mean, aren’t you craving cake just a little bit?”

“I guess so…” Peko grabbed a mixer and began to stir the batter.

“See, Hiyoko? We can do fun stuff sometimes!” Akane said, and passed her the bowl. “Here, go nuts.”

“Ugh, just you wait until that creepazoid comes here and makes pervy comments.” Hiyoko reluctantly grabbed the bowl and carefully mixed. She wore a small grin that passed as a frown.

“I believe Teruteru i-is going to be horrified…! We should clean this up!” Mikan whimpered.

“Mikan, you’re just overreacting-” Just then, the main door swung open, and Teruteru appeared in the doorway, head facing away from the door and talking to someone. Every girl in the kitchen froze in place, unable to move. Mikan had already ducked behind the counter, and Peko hid behind the mixer she held within her hands. Akane could do nothing but stick her hands deep into the batter reflexively. Hiyoko buried her head into her hands.

Teruteru, however, had just not noticed yet. He wore a smug grin on his face, leaning against the doorway. “Well, I don’t know. I just never pictured you as the type. Nonetheless, if that’s what you really want-” In that moment, Teruteru spun toward the open doorway, and paused. His mouth twitched. “I’ll...help...you…?”

Akane didn’t know whether to laugh or hide, so she laughed. “H-Hey, Teru! Don’t mind us!”

Hiyoko coughed awkwardly, “I wasn’t involved with this! I was held hostage, actually!”

“How...did...you get into my kitchen?” Teruteru whispered. He clutched both of his hands to his chest. Apparently, he was too awestruck to even make a slightly flirty comment. There was a lot of potential, too. There were egg whites absolutely everywhere, not to mention it was sticky. Thankfully, he never opened his mouth beyond a few whimpers of pain.

The person behind Teruteru finally came forward, crashing into him in the process. “Hah, what’s gotten you so-Holy SHIT!” Nekomaru stared at the travesty that was the kitchen, and laughed his ass off.

“We’re s-sorry! Honestly, I don’t remember how it got to this point!” Mikan desperately pleaded with her life that was not threatened.

“I need to sit down…” Teruteru did exactly that, head resting on his knees as he screamed silently into them.

“Gah-haha! What even happened here?!” Nekomaru asked. The question seemed innocent enough.

“We were makin’ cake, and it was going pretty good!” Akane bluffed.

“CAKE?” Nekomaru boomed.

Peko went to stand by Teruteru, and then leaned down to gently pat his head. “We’ll clean up this mess, Teruteru. I apologize for our reckless behavior.”

“Just what were you thinking?!” Teruteru screamed. “Not to mention breaking and entering, you have vandalized my kitchen beyond recognition!”

“Ugh, we’re...sorry, Teruteru…!” Akane seethed. She really did feel guilty, maybe from all the embarrassment from being caught, or something else entirely. “But I mean, you weren’t supposed to come back so early? Why’re you here?”

Teruteru rubbed his eyes, “Originally, Mister Muscles over there was trying to dish out a new recipe from me. Everybody knows-or at least they used to-that chefs are the masters of seduction...” He let out a soft sigh, and was nearly shoved for his comment.

“For the last time, it’s not about that!” Nekomaru yelled with color burning his cheeks. “Creme brulee has always fascinated me as an exquisite dish, and-”

“Can we at least finish the cake?” Akane asked.

There was another awkward lull in the room. Teruteru gave in completely, standing up to his feet. “That cake, or whatever you’re calling it, is a disaster. I’m fixing it.” He snatched the bowl from Hiyoko’s hands and dumped it into the sink.

“Hey! That was our cake!” Hiyoko and Akane rebutted. Mikan stood behind Peko and rubbed her arms. To be honest, it was a bit chilly in the room.

“You made a mistake cooking without any skill. Luckily, I’m a fan for sloppy seconds.” With the flexibility of a god, Teruteru turned and clicked his tongue. It was also worth noting he was doing finger guns.

Hiyoko gagged. “Oh, god. He’s gone perverted again.” 

  
**...**

Turns out the cake Teruteru made was far better than anything they could have made. It was a strange, little affair. With the dessert being over three feet tall, Akane found it hard enough not to immediately dig in. The six of them sat in the flour blasted kitchen, munching silently on slices of cake.

“Are the others going to be informed about this?” Peko murmured. On her plate, she had four pieces of cake. Everything to feed the baby, Akane supposed. That was important to feed the little ones.

Nekomaru had suffered an awful sugar crash, and was now passed out on the floor. Hiyoko was yawning with whipped cream on her mouth, and Mikan was also asleep. Teruteru wiped the sweat off his face. “Look, as long as we’re cleaning this up, then-” Suddenly, he yawned and fell in beside Mikan.

“Aw, great. Another one bit the dust, Peko.” Akane said.

“Hold on, Akane. I will be right back.” Peko stood up and traveled to the far end of the room, where the mini-fridge sat solemnly alone. There was a rustle of cabinets and a clink of glass jars. Then, Peko returned with a bottle of ketchup in her hands.

“Freaking ketchup?” Akane scoffed. “Hey, do whatever it takes for the baby, right?”

“I know it is revolting, but I must eat ketchup covered cake.” Peko then grabbed the bottle and squeezed.

Hiyoko whined. “Ew, I thought you were supposed to be cool!”

“She is cool! She’s just pregnant.” Akane said.

“Whatever. Teruteru is a worthless perv, but at least he made that cake.” Hiyoko examined her fingernails, which were beautifully polished and shiny. “It’s been so long since I had something that sweet!"

“So...good?” Akane managed to say around the obnoxious munching of Peko’s feeding frenzy.

“Good?” Hiyoko asked.

“You had a nice time, right? It wasn’t boring, right?!”

Hiyoko cocked her head. She had a million chances to say something cruel, or demented, or mean, but instead she managed to smile just a bit. It must have been one of the more genuine smiles Akane had seen Hiyoko wear. Hiyoko refused to stare back at her, but grinned nonetheless. “Wasn’t boring at all.”

 


	22. The Perfect Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane remembers something that she would have rather forgotten.

  
_Room Number: 203_

The lock would not turn, no matter what she did. Growling with fresh anger, Akane settled for her fist and beat into the wood. It didn’t help the situation that the building was extremely broken, almost falling apart once she stepped inside. The fire outside would do nothing but burn the steel beams of the foundation. She had to get inside. She had to find them. That was...that was her promise.

Settling all of her power into her forearm, Akane lunged forward and split wood. She kicked harder into the grain, releasing wood chips from the crevice that remained. It didn’t take long after that to fully dismantle the door from its handle, and then she was inside.

Apart from the obvious signs of decay, and fire flickered walls, the apartment was just what Akane remembered. A bag of old groceries still sat on the counter, and the carpet was still soft and plush. She must have been here recently, perhaps only a week ago. That’s it. She must have locked the door herself, before everything had happened. And now a week had passed, and her siblings were not here.

Where were they?

A full 15 minutes had passed, and Akane found nothing save for a few crayons and a small kitten plushie. It was very cute and pink, something usually associated with small girls. Miki. It must have been Miki’s. Her siblings hadn’t wanted to come home.

Frustrated, Akane dragged herself out of the apartment complex, ignoring the other Remnants as she moved around the debris. Carefully, she looked for signs of them. It was only a week ago. They had to be here, lingering around the city.

And then, Akane found it. She figured it out, because there was only one other place they knew well enough to call home.

**...**

The front porch was dirtier than it had ever been. Her mother and father were probably dead, and all Akane could think was “good riddance.” People like them were too past their prime to contribute anything to the world. They didn’t have bright, little minds like her siblings did. Oh, no they did not. What had her mother ever done for her? Or rather, her mothers?

  
A trail of blood was dried on the concrete pathway. On the hinge, the door swung open like a saloon’s. The air was filthy around this town. Every single house smelled and rusted in its place. Even now identical to everywhere else in the city, her old home still reeked of blood and old memories long lost to her.

  
Carefully stepping into the home, Akane knew the unmistakable sound of voices. Tiny, childlike voices that rose from the back of the property. Her footsteps were nearly impeccable as she moved along the tile, recalling images from her past. Sudden movements, dirty words, hands sliding behind her legs, soft voices, tiny hands and fingers. Akane bit her lip and kept moving.

“Shh. I hear something! Be quiet, now.” A young boy’s voice was heard, and the other children remained quiet. From what Akane could see, the children were in the bedroom, where she had slept every night with them under the smoggy skies. That was where Ume was unwell, and where she had healed her. Over there, were her siblings. She was here. She was home; finally home.

Akane crept closer, her vision blurring. “Lil ones?” She called, and the room went more still than it had ever been before.

After the dust had settled into the room, Akane saw four heads rising above the mattress. They had hoisted it up as some sort of shield. The rest of the room was covered in rotten food and dirty bandages. From what else Akane could see, Haruo had one of the bandages wrapped around his leg. There was blood of the front of it. However, nothing could compare to their faces, so wrapped up with shock and joy, that they almost screamed on the spot.

Akane could not move.

“Akane! Akane!”

  
“Akane, how- You’re alive!”

“We knew you’d make it!”

As she came closer to wrap her arms around them, the small, warm bodies beat her to it. Even Haruo snuggled close to the others. He walked with a limp now. They all had dirty faces. Satoshi had lost his glasses, and Miki had lost her bow. On their dirty cheeks, tears streamed as they cried and cried. Akane held them close to her heart and smiled. After all this time, she had them back with her.

“You’re all okay.” Akane murmured and ran her hand through Miki’s short hair. The small child sobbed and sobbed even harder. “Miki...come look what I found.”

“H-Huh? O-Oh!” The pink cat was placed into her hands. “It’s Candy! You saved her, Akane. You saved her!” Miki buried her face in the plushie’s soft fur, streaming with hot tears.

“Akane...we were all alone.” Satoshi cried.

“I know. You are very brave, Satoshi.” Akane grinned and rubbed his head foundly. “You protected them, like a big brother should.”

“No. I am still worried about Haruo.” Satoshi grimace at pointed to his brother.

“It’s only just a scratch! Don’t worry, Akane! We won’t worry now that you’re here with us!” Haruo cheered, and Satoshi shook his head.

“You were shot!”

“Shot?” Akane asked.

Ume whimpered, coughing up the dust cloud that flew over her head. “Yeah, Akane. The world is horrible now. People are so evil, and-”

“We were running away, right after we got home from school.” Satoshi said. “You weren’t home, so we thought-We thought y-you-” Satoshi’s voice broke and he squirmed in Akane’s arms to retain his composure. “L-Like mo-momma-”

“Shh, shh…” Akane soothed, smoothing their clothes and hair. “I’ve got you now, lil ones. We’ll...find a new life together.”

The air remained quiet once again. A smell of rotting wood and meat tainted her nose, and stung the atmosphere. Then, another voice rang.

“Whadda you mean, ‘new life?’ How are we gonna find a new life in this?” Haruo asked. He was acting more cautious than Akane would have liked. There was no need to be afraid. There really wasn’t.

“All I’m asking is for is another chance.” Akane backed away from the siblings, her presence more tense than it had ben moments prior. She did not have a smile looming on her face. It was when Satoshi realized, that Akane was covered in blood. Dried blood, fresh blood. Gore covered her legs and arms. Her eyes did not contain the amount of love her voice did. Satoshi swallowed, and stepped back. Something was wrong with her. Something was wrong with Akane.

“A-Another chance at what?” Ume asked. She must have been oblivious, as she was smiling that gapped-tooth smile like she always used to. Satoshi tried to gently grab at Miki, Haruo, and Ume’s sleeves, but they did not budge.

“Despair, silly!” Akane smiled back at them, and Satoshi saw her eyes glaze over themselves. She was not herself. This was not his sister sitting across from him.

Satoshi froze, and lurched Haruo toward him.

“Ow, Satoshi! What the heck, dude?” Haruo shouted, but Satoshi did not respond. He forced himself to breathe directly out of his nose, to prevent a panic attack. His mother had taught him that, but he could not think of his mother right now.

“Get back behind me.” Satoshi whispered.

“Despair!” Akane repeated. “Dontcha' want to see it like I do?”

A cold, almost inhumane tremor rang through his spine. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t-

“What’s that word? Dis...bear? What’s that mean?” asked Miki.

“Akane.” Satoshi warned. “A-Akane, are you okay?” It looked just like Akane. It had her body, her face, her voice. But there was something underlying this demeanor. It was evil, and unkind, and cruel. It was a monster that wanted to tear him apart.

“I’m fine.” Akane said. “You don’t gotta worry about me, Satoshi.”

He felt his eyes brim with tears. “I do-don’t want to do that.” Miki, who still sat in Akane’s lap, played with her hair.

Akane’s own voice was shrouded away. Her true intentions were coming to light. “You don’t want to feel despair?”

“No! That’s weird, Akane.” Haruo blurted out. “You’re acting really weird!”

“Akane, please…” Satoshi pleaded. He pleaded, and pleaded, and pleaded. Inwardly he prayed for anyone to answer him. His chest hurt, and he could not see much from the lack of glasses.

“I want you to see despair.” Akane grinned with familary, and he could feel his heart ache. Her eyes were crazed, swirling with an unknown force of nature. Satoshi watched as Ume started to slowly inch herself away from her eldest sister, leaving Miki alone on her lap.

“Miki,” Satoshi called through a tear stricken voice. “Miki...come here.”

  
“Huh?” The child asked. “But I wanna play with Candy.”

“Miki, come over here right now!” Satoshi shrieked. Time was running short. They had to run. He would have to pick up Haruo, and Ume would carry Miki. And Akane...oh, Akane.

But before the little girl could utter a single peep, two arms grasped around the tiny form. Akane squeezed her close to her chest, hands on Miki’s head.

“L-Let her go, Akane! Let her go!” Haruo screamed, trying to move with his bad leg. Satoshi and Ume were speechless. He had to go. He had to save her.

Miki’s voice was muffled, and then she started to struggle. “Mmph! Akane, you’re holding me too-” Her face was covered completely by Akane’s own shirt. Covered. It was in that moment that he realized; Miki was being suffocated.

Satoshi bit the hand that covered his mouth, and tried to force himself to help Miki. But he couldn't. He was too stupid, or too cowardly to even look at the sight. Miki’s body twisted and turned as she screamed with fear, hands hitting Akane's chest and forearms. Akane stared forward with a small smile.

But Satoshi could not continue to live in fear. He had to do something! The deafening cries of Haruo and Ume were horrified, confused, grieved. This was what Akane had protected them from. This is what Akane swore she would never become. If that was all true, this was not Akane.

Having that thought in his mind, Satoshi screamed and rushed forward, beating Akane’s chest, and pulling her hair. “Let her go! Let her go! Akane, please!”

Akane did not move a muscle. Satoshi tried to pull at her arms, and she was too strong. Miki was slowly losing air. She was-She was dying, and there wasn’t anything he could do. Tears making him beyond recognition, Satoshi hit Akane again and again and again. Miki’s voice got softer, and softer, and her body became slower, until she melted into nothingness. She had simply stopped moving.

Satoshi couldn’t even comprehend what he was seeing. Miki was dead. She was...dead.

Akane set her limply the ground. Miki was gradually growing cold, as Satoshi’s shaking fingers caressed her face. Miki’s eyes were bloodshot and wide open. She looked in pain. There was no heart beating under her chest.

Satoshi could not move anymore. In his mind, there was nothing. Haruo and Ume were screaming, just for anybody to help them, but there wasn’t help anymore. There was no strength left. As Haruo and Ume were gathered to the corner of the room, and as Akane picked up the plank of wood just in the corner. He could not move, and instead closed his eyes shut and thought of better times. Better times with just the five of them, and smiling faces and laughter. Better, happier times.

**...**

The screams wouldn’t stop. They just would not stop. And as Akane sat there in the early dawn of her cabin, she did not try to let them. Really, she could not even move. She was sweating, yes. There was sweat running down her forehead. Her lip was trembling. She was gasping, gasping for air when she nearly coughed up her lungs out onto the wooden flooring.

Why.

She felt cold, like her entire body was stuck in ice. Her organs felt stiff and water logged. She felt disgusting, as she forced herself to stand and shake like a leaf. Half of her mind couldn’t even tell if that was real. Was...that…

No.

Why did this have to happen? Akane couldn’t stop the broken noise from leaving her mouth, and she squeezed her eyes shut. No, no, no, no, no-

Why her.

It couldn’t be real, right? It just had to be a nightmare. They were safe back home. They wouldn’t be harmed now, because Akane couldn’t dare hurt them anymore. She couldn’t dare...to hurt them anymore.

In a fury, Akane grabbed a beer bottle and shattered it against the wall of her bathroom. The liquid poured into the shower, and Akane forced herself to step in the glass shards. Blood seeped slowly from her open wounds. She hadn’t shaved in a while. Small leg hairs littered her calves and thighs. She smelled. She smelled like urine and blood and wait-No. She did not smell like anything, because...they were okay. There was no blood, except for her own foot.

Akane stood in the bathroom for another hour, staring into the wall. A knock sounded on the door, and Akane did not go to answer it. Whoever was knocking must have really wanted to come in, based on how frenzied they were.

“Akane!” Nekomaru called. Akane shut her eyes and seethed in pain as she limped over to the door. A trail of blood was left on the wood floorboards. She opened the door, lifeless as wood itself.

Nekomaru stood back in shock before showing her what he held. In his hands was a small, delectable dish that carried an alluring aroma. It smelled delicious, but Akane forced herself to look away. If anything, she wanted to throw up just from the thought of eating. She did not deserve to eat.

“Uh,” Nekomaru gaped at Akane’s zombie-like state, before he smiled earnestly and placed the dish into Akane’s hands. He was avoiding eye contact, and appeared to be very nervous. “I made this for you! I know how much you like to try new foods, and-”

“I’m not hungry.”

Nekomaru had to do a double take. “Excuse me?” Akane did not mind. She couldn’t believe herself either.

“T-Thank you, but I can’t eat right now.” Akane murmured and placed the dish onto a drawer. Then, she firmly moved past him into the sunlight. Not eating? Akane? Was he dreaming?

“A-Akane!” Nekomaru called after her, but she was already gone. Akane had simply left through the hotel’s gate. Frustrated by his failure, he sought off after her. A trail of fresh blood was leaking onto the path, and it set off an alarm. “What happened to your foot, Akane?!”

Akane was not running. In fact, she was moving extremely slow. Her feet dragged in the pathway, and Nekomaru easily caught up to her. He carefully touched her arm as she whipped around, shocked as they strolled together. “Akane, listen to me!”

“Nekomaru.” Akane stated.

“Yeah, that’s me! Can-Can you tell me if you’re okay or not. You’re starting to freak me out.” Nekomaru admitted. Akane did not answer, and moved faster toward the direction of the beach. What could she possibly want there?

When they stopped, Akane did not tell Nekomaru to leave, but she did not speak to him either. He noticed her as she strangely moved from one side of the beach to the other, collecting stones and large rocks and setting them in a large pile. How peculiar. Nekomaru moved closer and saw that she was now starting to stack the larger stones at the bottom, then fill smaller stones on top of the bottom ones. She was making a pyramid out of stones. Nekomaru was mesmerized. He could not look away. He could not leave her like this.

Akane finished the small pyramid and stared at it for a long while. Then she started with the next one. Nekomaru cut, interjecting her work. “Akane, let me help.”

Akane stared into his eyes. She did not have the fire he knew and loved about her. There was nothing in her glare. Absolutely nothing. “I’m...making four.”

“Four pyramids?” Nekomaru asked. Akane nodded and got to work again, and he followed suit.

Each pyramid was made exactly like the other, grey and short, but sturdy. It reminded Nekomaru of the sandcastles Gundham made for his hamsters back then. Each pyramid was a fortress of some kind, protecting the peace in Akane’s own mind. The final rock was placed, and Nekomaru stood back and wiped his forehead clear of sweat. The morning sun had just passed into the sky. Now if only he weren’t confused, then the day would have been content, meaningful.

Akane stared at each of the pyramids with nothing to say. She sighed and closed her eyes. “I need...to get something.” Then she walked away, and Nekomaru didn’t try to follow her. He took the opportunity to lean against one of the palm trees. It really was too bad she had rejected the dish. He’d worked hard on it too, damn it all. But now something was awry, and he couldn’t complain. He had to know if she was okay. Nothing else mattered.

So he waited, and waited for more than just a little while. Nekomaru even noticed that a few of the pyramids were smaller than one in particular. In fact, they were all varied in size, but not in shape. Each pyramid was carefully stacked to the point where it filled him with dread. It couldn’t be what he thought it was, could it?

After a while, Akane returned, more quietly than she had ever moved before. With slow steps, she ignored Nekomaru and fished something out of a bag she carried. In the tote bag, there were four items. There was a small, purple scarf, a baseball, a hair bow, and a small pin that resembled a cat. The feeling of dread got worse, because he knew. He knew what this was now.

It was a horrible knowledge. Just when the picture clicked into his head, he never wanted to imagine it ever again. These four pyramids were not just for decoration. These were four graves.

Akane soundlessly got to work, placing the scarf at the biggest pyramid, and the pin at the smallest one. The baseball and the bow went in between the two. Then, Akane leaned back and kept staring at them. She appeared to be done with her work. Nekomaru’s own heart was beating way too fast for his own good, to the point where it was starting to hurt. He winced, holding his chest for only a second. No, he told himself. Not right now.

Akane did not turn to greet him as he settled in beside her. They didn’t talk to one another, and the anxiety of the situation was only getting worse. He could hear her breath become strained and choppy through the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.

“Akane, you know you can talk to me. That’s-That’s what I’m here for.” he said.

Akane clenched her eyes shut and balled up her fists. Why? Why did he have to be here? Why did she have to talk to someone? “Thanks for your help, coach, but I...I’m done here.”

“What is this? Are-Are you okay?” Nekomaru walked to the front of her, and shook her shoulders a little too forcefully. Akane blinked and tried to squirm out of his grasp.

“Just stop! I don’t need you anymore!” Akane’s eyes were ice cold. There was something dark about that look. It frightened him, just a bit.

“It’s not about needing me; it’s about helping you!”

“Well, y-you don’t need to be helping me.” Akane snarled. “Just go away!” With that, Akane swung her fist into Nekomaru’s side, nearly catching him by surprise, but just barely. He caught her arm, and held it tightly.

“Akane, there’s something wrong, so I won’t fight you right now.” Nekomaru set her arm down, but still retained his grip. She wouldn’t stop glaring at him. The anger she bore was catastrophic. Akane was never a hateful person, but now…

Now she was someone else.

“Can’t you tell...I don’t want you here anymore?” Akane murmured, trying to pull herself out of his hold. Nekomaru forced himself to stay in place.

“I’m sorry.” was all he could say.

“Well, what are you sorry about?” Akane scoffed.

Nekomaru turned his head away from her.“I’m sorry, but I can’t leave you alone. Just in case...you do something...drastic.”

“Why don’t you just get it? I’m fine.” Akane, for once, faked a smile. It seemed pretty convincing, if not for her freak out a minute ago. Underneath his hand, he could feel the tremors of her shaking arm. She would not stop trembling. Akane sighed with annoyance. “Can you let go of my arm now?”

At once, he let go reluctantly. Nekomaru crossed his arms, and tried his best not to appear threatening or scary. He needed to be as calm as possible. Man, that was going to be difficult. “You were there for me when I...I remembered what I had done.”

Akane stiffened in her spot. Yes, she had been. But that was a long time ago now. What else would she have done with a burly, crying man? “So what?”

“So let me be here for you. I’ll try to be respectful, I promise.” Nekomaru said.

Akane ignored him and sat on the sand, facing the pyramids. She seemed to be concentrating hard about something, as the hot sun beat down their backs. Nekomaru knelt beside her and didn’t say a thing. Her eyes were shut, her concentration thinning. The mood really didn’t match the weather. It would have been the perfect day for a volleyball game.

With her head bowed, hair was falling in front of her eyes. She was mysterious, cut off. Nekomaru wasn’t sure how to feel about this side of her. Akane breathed in slowly, attempting to restate her grip on reality. She knew he was right next to her, even if he was quiet. And it was too quiet.

So, she forced herself to speak. “Satoshi, Haruo, Ume, Miki.” How she despised how weak she sounded, her voice dripping with melodrama.

“Your siblings.” The fond expression on his face was cut short, as he began to put together the pieces. He knew them, and they loved him. It was a funny little pastime of theirs; to chatter about how “awesome” or “cool” Nekomaru was.

“Yeah.” Akane’s throat felt parched, but she did not want to drink.

“D-Don’t...tell me-”

“I don’t want to.” Akane said. Man, her head hurt. She let the pain linger.

Beside her in the sunlight, Nekomaru didn't say anything. She guessed he missed them as well. She saw him try to regain the strength he clearly wanted to have. For a few moments, he did not utter a single word, merely sitting there trying to hold himself upright. If only it were raining.

She remembered Miki’s stuffed kitten. That was a gift from Nekomaru. She had...forgotten about that. So much had happened, and yet she had just forgot. Akane dug her fingers into her bare legs. She wished her fingernails were longer, so she could feel the sting they made as they pierced into her skin.

“I’m...so sorry, Akane.” Nekomaru murmured. The day was indeed becoming quieter. In a way, she was glad he was here. She just did not deserve it, the sentimentality.

“I don’t need your pity, you hear me?” Akane snapped at him. Nekomaru looked back at her with shock, but he settled.

“I just don’t...know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. Nothing-Nothing can fix it.” Akane could not move. She did not want to move.

“Akane-”

“Just stop it! How do you not get it, Nekomaru?!” Akane breathed heavily out her mouth, but she could not breathe. “It was me!”

For a while, nothing could be heard. It was silent once again. Nekomaru stared at agape at her. He knew that she was telling the truth, but...Why did it have to be this? He almost wanted to be angry, angry at the person she used to be, angry at himself, but he could not find the strength.

Instead, he listened closely. And then...there it was. The shallow breaths Akane was drawing in were sucking the oxygen from her lungs. She needed to calm down. Slowly, he inched closer to her, and drew Akane into his arms. She wriggled in surprise, looking up to see his expression. He stared down at her solemnly, and pulled her tightly against his chest.

“I-I…It was me.” Akane blinked herself out of her trance, and then she shut her eyes.

“I know.” he brushed his hand against her hair. She must have not combed it in days.

And that’s when he heard another noise, softer this time. It was clumsy sounding, ugly in parts but altogether human. He felt the wetness reach his chest before he had a chance to get a picture in his head. Akane was crying. There were tears running down her cheeks onto him, and she was breathing heavily, gripping onto his jacket.

Never before had she cried in front of him. He honestly couldn’t believe his eyes. Nekomaru blinked a couple times, tearing himself away from his thoughts as she sat there sobbing to herself.

“Akane…” He murmured softly.

Akane squeezed her hands into fists around the fabric. She couldn’t stop it, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t stop, couldn’t stop, couldn’t stop just for a moment. “I-I can’t stop it.”

“You don’t need to.” Nekomaru held her tighter. He was warm, and it was just too good for her. “I’ve got you now.”

Akane pushed her head into his chest and felt her cheeks redden. There was snot running down her nose. It was disgusting, and bare, and foul. Her eyes were in pain, as they stung and burned. The shaking would not even break for just a moment. Maybe it was pent up, kept inside for so, so long. But for now, despite how awful it felt, she was grounded.

And so Akane stayed, and Nekomaru stayed with her, gently caressing her hair. His heart was quick, just like her’s, and he was slowly rocking her side to side. She could not pretend any longer. Neither could he. There were just some truths, that no matter the lengths you took to destroy them, that would always come back. She could just sense the blood dripping down her fingers as she held the plank. Akane could still feel her lips splitting into a smile that wasn’t meant to be there. Or rather, she wasn’t meant to be here.

But Nekomaru held her close, and so she stayed.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops...........there it is... the hardest chapter for me to write so far. my god, it was really difficult to properly put everything on paper. Just like...ehh...I've had this twist planned since the beginning of the fic, but getting to it was really gruesome. Like I feel really bad but a writer's gotta do what a writer's gotta do...
> 
> Also thanks so much for the support and love, even if I wrote n..interesting chapter. <3


	23. A Little Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane screws up. Again.

  
For the next few weeks, time went by slowly. Too slow, as if to mock her and berate her safely from a distance. The mornings were still bright and cheery, the weather stayed wonderful, and everything went as normal. It was way too normal, and yet it wasn’t normal enough.

Akane never talked about the incident, or the graves to anyone after that day. Sure, she’d get questions, but she’d shoo them away with a trustworthy grin. A lot of people, including Hajime (who was always doing something on his own these days) saw through her little act, but she paid them no heed.

It was when she got back to her cabin, that she sunk into her mattress and pretended she didn’t exist. Beer was hidden in so many nooks and crannies around her room that it was almost unbelievable. She skipped several Normal Lessons, and would hide up in her room for days at most. Sometimes, the others would knock on her door to make sure she wasn’t dead. Nekomaru would sometimes bring her protein foods or drinks to “boost her immune system.”

But after all of that, and after her freakout on the beach, Akane could not bring herself to feel anything. Maybe she was shut off. She didn’t realize she had skipped eating for an entire day one time, until Nekomaru barged in and forced her to eat something. She thought it was unbelievable, her acting like this. It was pathetic and ugly, but what else could she do?

She missed them. That was all she knew, and she couldn’t even have that wish. They weren’t even home anymore.

Sometimes she would go to the beach and punch the trees, just like good times. When she thought about it, that must have been a year and a half ago, when she first punched the palm tree. How fast time passed, and how little she appreciated it.

Akane did not care whether she was in pain anymore, but that didn’t mean she liked it either. Sometimes she just forgot to drink, or eat, or even shower. The cuts on her feet were healing, but that was just one pro from it all. Was it really a pro? Who knew?

All she knew was that everything she wanted was now void. All of that happened because of her. That was the worst part of all. There was just nothing to fight for.

She also knew that she did not deserve his kindness, his friendship. Nekomaru kept pursuing to help her, no matter what she said. He’d even convinced the others to help him clean her place. Most of them complained while doing so, while Akane yelled at them to stop. She just didn’t need that. She didn’t want that right now.

She forgot the last time she talked to Peko, who seemed to be doing fantastic last time they met. She was in love, she was happy, and she was six months pregnant. Words of nothing but support rained on her and Fuyuhiko, as they were more than thrilled to raise their first child, who was an accident. Would you believe that? And Akane could not afford to be jealous. How could she? Peko worked to get where she was, and all Akane could do was eat meat and lose her abs to calories.

In fact, everyone seemed in light spirits. Even Hajime, or a nut job like Nagito. With the proper medication, he was just starting to even out, talking to people like a kind, thoughtful human being. Sonia and Gundham were strange yet content, doing whatever they did. There were at least 16 more hamsters than before. Hiyoko was acting kinder to Mikan and literally everybody, so that was a plus. She still was a minor jerk at times, but nobody’s perfect. Even Ryota seemed to be in higher spirits than he once was. He enjoyed the island, his new friends, and talking to Shohta. Akane didn’t know him much, but he seemed like a nice kid. A little too frail for her tastes, but nice.

Akane wondered how Teruteru got over his mother so fast. On the other hand, he probably didn’t. He probably just hid it deep inside, just like her. Did Teruteru have anybody to help him? She hoped he did, because god, it was hard.

On one hand, she wanted to deny it, and on the other, she knew it was too real to be just a dream. Dreams did not contain that level of rawness, that sick, twisted reality. Dreams were not this fever inducing. And she remembered everything she did. How could something like that be a dream?

Her whole life was dedicated to protecting her siblings. Every single waking moment, she would be scavenging, humiliating herself, and working hard to the bone just for them. Everything was for them. Everything.

All four of them loved her more than it was entirely possible. She was their guardian, their big sister.

And she had betrayed them.

Sometimes, if she thought about it too much, she’d consider options that she once thought were cowardly. It frightened her, but wasn’t that the only reasonable option left? She didn’t even know when the last time she slept was, but she was exhausted. Exhausted of everything, everyone, herself. When was the last time she looked at herself in the mirror?

Curious, Akane shakily got up to her feet and stepped to the small bathroom. In that even smaller mirror above the sink, was a girl. This girl was young and ragged. Her hair was all over the place, clearly not brushed in days. Below her neck were several scars that once ran deep into her flesh. Her skin was dark and her eyes were large and afraid. How could she be afraid? Why would she be afraid? Did she pity herself? Did she feel sorry for herself?

Akane never usually looked at her reflection, mostly because she never had the time. But god… what had she done to herself? She never thought of herself as “pretty”, compared to the more refined appearances of the other girls. Then again, she never really thought of people as “pretty” or “handsome” or “ugly.” People just were who they were, she guessed. For the longest time, she believed that.

But looking at herself now, Akane could only be disgusted. She could see her eyebrows lowering and her teeth gritting in place. Her fists were locked, facing the glass. The back of her mind screamed at her not to do it. Please, please, please don’t do it. You’ll hurt yourself! It yelled and yelled at her, but that request was in vain as her fist drew back and crashed into the mirror.

Shards flew in almost every direction before they landed on the tiled floor. There was copious amounts of blood seeping from her knuckles. There was even some glass stuck in her knuckle. She wanted to do it again. For a long time, she just stood there and clenched fer hands together over and over. From where the mirror’s frame was, she could not see herself. For once, Akane was content.

Then, her door opened.

“Akane?” A voice called, then retched. “That smell! Is it noodles mixed with hot vinegar?”

“I don’t want to think about the smell.” said the other voice too quickly.

Akane recoiled away from the sink, peering into her room. Ibuki and Peko stood both side to side. The one talking first must have been Ibuki, not just based on voice alone. Peko happened to be more interested in snatching away empty beer bottles.

“What’re doing?” Akane emerged from her hole, scratching her side.

“Oh! Ibuki did not see you there.” Ibuki jumped toward her and then gasped. “Gasp! What happened to your hand?!” Peko’s head tilted upwards at that. Looking at Peko, it was almost funny how “big” she was. It was almost unbelievable that she would have the baby in three months. Akane wondered if it would be a girl or a boy…It was a sickly, almost maternal feeling that wanted gone from her mind the moment it crossed it.

“My...hand? Oh, don’t worry about that-” It was too late, because Peko had already rushed to her side and examined the bleeding cuts.

“Akane, did you fight your mirror?”

Ibuki gasped loudly, “My, that’s 7 years of bad luck!”

“Man, I’m gonna have to ask Nagito for some of his luck, right?” Akane managed a bitter laugh.

Ibuki scoffed. “No, are you kidding me right meow? He’s got it so good! No way he’ll just give you free luck-”

“ I was just asking! God.” Akane bent over to pick up some dirty laundry off the floor, “Y’know, you two caught me off guard.”

“Our apologies. However, being confined in here isn’t going to be healthy for you.” Peko said, and daftly grabbed more laundry out of Akane’s hands.

“H-Hey!” Akane stuttered.

“Peko is very much right, Akane! You don’t want to become a hermit, do you?” Ibuki leaned forward towards Akane and pulled her by the hem of her shirt.

“Wh-What are you-”

“Quick, Peko! Steadfast!” At once, the two girls grabbed Akane by the arms and pushed her out the door. Akane stood flabbergasted and offended in the bright sun. Around the pool, a few of the others were chattering away at each other or helping out with chores. It must have been close to midday.

“What the hell, guys?” Akane groaned, trying to crawl back inside her cabin, if it weren’t for Peko’s hand stopping the door.

“No, Akane. You have been cooped away for far too long.” Peko said cautiously.

“So you guys freaking kidnap me?” Akane frowned.

“Yep! We didn’t want you to sulk any longer…!” Ibuki cheered. At least she was in the right, or at least she had meant to be.

“I know life has taken its toll on you, Akane, but...I know helping around the hotel might rejuvenate your spirit.” Peko thoughtly lifted her hand from the door, as if she were afraid Akane might open it and ignore her request completely.

“Yeah! Rejuvenate your spirit! Woohoo!” Ibuki took Peko’s hand and bounced down the sidewalk, “Now let me tell you about that toothpaste I found…!” Their voices had diminished in the direction of the hotel’s paito, towards the old building that remained dusty and barren to this day.

Akane leaned against the cabin door and grumbled to herself. She hated how she looked today. Her clothes were far too tight and uncomfortable, and she fought the urge to take them off. From what she remembered before she broke the mirror, her eyes had bags underneath them, and there was most likely dried spit on her cheek on drooling. Her hair felt greasy and unwashed, and her limbs felt much more flabby than they ever had been! God!

But maybe Peko was right. She could just try to be helpful, to push herself in the right direction. As long as she didn’t think about certain...topics, Akane guessed that she would be fine. After all, being a hermit helped nobody, not even herself.

So Akane forced herself upright and took a couple steps to the walkway that led to the pool area. The wood was hot on her bare feet, but she didn’t flinch. A soft, raspy voice shook her out of her concentration, and she saw Nagito a few meters away, lying down on a pool chair. An umbrella was placed above him. He was wearing pool shorts and a simple t-shirt, and he had...sunglasses sitting on his face. In his hand, he held a margarita.

“Hi, Akane! It’s surprising to see you...at all.” Nagito seemed rather cheerful, as he swished the icy liquid in the glass.

Akane gave him a quizzical look in response. “What are you doing- acting like you’re on vacation?”

“I am?” Nagito looked at his whole attire, and the umbrella, then laughed. “Ha, I guess I am on vacation. We are on a tropical island, after all. Might as well make the most of it.”

Akane couldn’t help but shake her head. “I thought most of you dudes were working?”

“Hm. Not all of us. I just recently finished my shift, so I’m good for now-”

“You guys have jobs now or something?”

  
“We do shifts at the marketplace now. You didn’t know?” Nagito was indeed trying his best to act casually and without any mention of the “H word.” Akane had to appreciate that about him.

“Ugh, Nagito, can I have a sip of your drink?” Akane groaned.

Komaeda was amused by that. “Well...um. There’s a margarita machine right over there.”

“Nice find, man! I was just about to steal your drink.” Akane slouched off to the machine, leaving Nagito to only laugh in puzzled amazement.

It was excruciatingly hot today, and the promise of an ice cold drink only made Akane’s mouth water. Sure, there was alcohol in a margarita, but it wasn’t like beer or the hard liquor she’d chug down at night. This was a classier kind of drunk. Seeing the slush in the machine, Akane pressed the lever and put her face underneath the lever.

“You might not want to do that, Ak-” Nagito was cut off by Akane’s gurgled screams as her brain freeze came to stay.

“Shit! Shit! What just happened?!” Akane held her head, wiping the excess slush off her cheeks.

“What...just happened?!” A deep voice called from behind her. Akane didn’t need to turn around to know it was Nekomaru, who was astonished by the pathetic sight below him. “Akane, what is THIS?”

“I don’t know, okay? I was living in the moment.” Akane shrugged off her pain as soon as she recognized him.

“She just got a brain freeze.” Nagito called from the chair, sipping his drink.

Akane panicked. “Ah, Nagito what the hell?! Now he’s gonna nag at me nonstop-”

  
“Maybe next time you decide to drink from a cold beverage, grab a cup-” Nekomaru’s attempt at guidance was avoided as Akane swiftly walked away from him. “Hey, hey, hey!” He went around her and tried to get her attention.

“Nekomaru, I’m not in the mood, okay?” Akane murmured.

Nekomaru stopped, but didn’t leave. Instead, he glanced at her with the intensity of well, a coach. “When was the last time you trained, Akane?”

“Hell, I don’t know...like…”

“That long, huh? Shit…” Nekomaru began to think about something, the likes of which Akane could not tell. “How about we go right now?!” He smiled, patting her on the shoulder.

“Now?! But Nekomaru...I’m so tired…” Akane groaned.

“Your excuses won’t work on me! Don't worry! You’ll be better in no time!” At once, Nekomaru beckoned her to join him, at once slinging two towels on his shoulder and the brightest grin Akane had ever seen in her life. It nearly blinded her, and she looked away. “What do you say?”

Ignoring the bitter feelings in her heart, Akane trudged along with him to the beach.

**...**

He was right. It didn’t take much to get them started. He had made her do 100 pushups from the get-go, letting her scream in deviance until she eventually completed the set. Running from each side of the beach with the wind in her hair and her lungs burning, Akane finally felt alive.

As long as her mind didn’t go...there, she would be okay.

Nekomaru ran alongside her, cheering her on. She realized how much she missed this feeling of accomplishment. It satisfied her more than anything to get it back. The sand on the bottom of her feet as she dashed across the shore, the water coming up to lick her thighs. She whooped, jumping across a rock and then stopped.

She paused to take her breath, the heavier footsteps behind her stopping just a bit. Akane wiped her brow, grinning. “Hey, you got any water-” Her eyes landed on the four pyramids, which she’d completely forgotten about. Her throat remained dry, as Nekomaru realized she had noticed the graves.

Nekomaru bowed his head with respect. His eyes were sorrowful. “I try to visit them everyday, Akane; to let them know that someone’s watching out for them.”

Akane bit her lip, and turned her head away. She paced along the sand for a while, creating tracks in almost every direction. She couldn’t think about that right at the moment. She just had to let her mind loose and try to take a break for once.

Nekomaru looked at her with expectancy, holding his hands together with anticipation. “I’ll get you that water.” He ran off to where their bags were, at the end of the beach. Akane stared after him, forcing her mind to just shut up. Just shut up! She screamed at herself.

Being faced away from him, Nekomaru had to tap her shoulder in order to snap Akane out of her daze. She took the bottle of water and drank it in one swig, wiping her mouth when she finished. Akane sighed and then whipped toward him, mouth curled upwards. “Hey, why don’t we fight?”

Nekomaru was a bit taken back by that. Her recovery was really quick, it seemed. “You mean the sparring-practice we used to do all the time?”

“What?! You hesitating?” Akane lunged toward him at once and swung her fist toward his face. He dodged and blocked her move, sending Akane a few feet back.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Nekomaru asked.

Akane didn’t need to answer, as she took flight once more, soaring close to Nekomaru’s head as she delivered a swift kick to his shoulder. He snatched her ankle and hung her by her feet, looking into her eyes. “Look, Akane, you’re way too reckless at the moment! You haven't even finished your train-”

  
Akane wriggled out of his grasp at once, sending at least five blows into his leg and flipping backwards to the background. She stood tall, snarking at him.“I did way too much training today! You’re just being a coward, old man!”

Nekomaru appeared slightly offended. “Me? A coward? Hah!” He shrugged before running towards her, sending sand into the wind. Akane felt a sharp pain tingle in her left thigh, as he probably hit her there. She leapt out of the sand cloud, preparing a roundhouse kick before he caught her and threw her in the sand.

“Argh!” Akane needed to find a clever way to defeat him, a fate of which he had never succumbed. Quickly, her legs propelled her off the sand, and her fist crashed into his stomach. She had clearly caught him off guard, and he couldn’t help but gasp at that. So she kept going, hitting him from every possible angle while he sent out punches and kicks of his own.

It took a while, but Akane remained standing. She tried to ignore how Nekomaru appeared more tired and sickly than he normally did. He was still fighting, but it continued to gnaw at her bones. Usually he never tired out like this.

But he kept fighting against her, and so she paid it no heed.

Another kick, another punch.

Elbow jab, swinging kick.

It took about another ten minutes, but a body succumbed to defeat, and Akane stood proud. Never. Never in her entire life had she beaten Nekomaru. And here she was, the crowned champion, beaming on the beach. The entire beach had almost been wrecked. The palm trees seemed swayed from the action. “Wow, Nekomaru! Did ya see me?! I finally- I finally beat you!” Akane began to jump in happiness, feeling like a little kid.

Nekomaru was knelt on the sand, checking for bruises of his own.“I-Impressive...I didn’t think you were ready, but-”

“I was! I did it!” Akane squealed, and then stopped again. Nekomaru did not sound as excited as she had thought he would sound. “Hey. You okay, Nekomaru?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, Akane! Just basking in my defeat!” Nekomaru smirked, and a gush of pride filled Akane’s heart. However, something in her gut was screaming at her not to listen to him. Don’t do it! Don’t do it!

She suddenly stooped to his level, and looked at him. Nekomaru, who jumped back a little in surprise, was covered in a cold sweat. His eyes were unfocused, and his breathing was fast and frequent. The worst part of all, was his hand that clutched at his heart.

A feeling of hot, cold fear unlike any other shot through her spine. _No_ , she thought. _No, no, no._

“Wha-What the hell?! Nekomaru?” Akane hissed.

He tried to give her a friendly grin, though it was stopped when he grimaced with pain. “Gah-Akane. It’s okay. I’ll-”

  
“N-No, it’s not! Damn it, Nekomaru! Wh-What is this?” Akane tried to pull him up to his feet, but his weight brought her down. “Come on, come on.”

“Akane, don’t worry about me! I’ll bounce back up in a minute.” Nekomaru seethed, letting out a small hiss as something got worse. He clutched tighter to his tank top, sweating profusely.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Akane forced him to drink some water. He almost spat it out in surprise. “Drink it or something, please! P-Please!” This could not be happening. She had just won, too. But the reason had to be...It had to because of that. He simply hadn’t used his full power. Swallowing her pride, Akane gave in.

“Akane, I’m proud of you-” He muttered, his breath becoming weaker.

“No! You have to come with me, now!” Akane tried her hardest to hoist Nekomaru and balance him on her shoulder. He was a bit heavy, but Akane held on, gritting her teeth.

“There’s-There’s no way Nekomaru N-Nidai can go out like th-” Nekomaru attempted to push himself off of Akane gently, and wobbled to his feet.

Akane knew that without a doubt, she needed to get him to Mikan, or else it would all her fault. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t just add another grave to the beach. He couldn’t leave her again. He would never leave her. Holding in the tears that threatened to spill, Akane gripped onto his hand and pulled him along. He was roughed around, but managed to keep up.

“Mikan! Mikan!” Akane called, but no one answered her. “For god’s sake, please help!”

From where they stood outside the hotel’s gates, a few voices mumbled from the other side. They had risen in volume, risen in fear. The gates opened and Mikan came sprinting out, carrying a first aid kit. The determination on her face was unlike anything she had witnessed. Her confidence never once left her body as she examined Nekomaru, who was kneeling on the dirt and holding his chest just like before. Akane’s own chest began to squeeze, anxiety biting and clawing at her insides like a feral beast. A couple people passed by, such as Nagito, who peered in from behind the gate. He had taken off his sunglasses, eyes wide.

“What happened, Akane?!” Mikan asked. Based on the look she gave her, it wasn’t good.

Akane swallowed hard. “I-I..We were just fighting, y’know!” It was the cold truth. They were just fighting, and she was too foolish. She was too selfish and unhealthy and greedy.

“I-It came back full force…” Mikan murmured, resting a hand against Nekomaru’s chest tenderly. “You’re going to be alright. Please hold on.”

Nekomaru seemed to be losing consciousness, and Akane became unhinged. “What-What the hell! Please, Mikan! You hafta save him!” She couldn’t help the way her voice cracked as she screamed, she couldn’t help the way her heart felt as if it was ripped in half. All she knew was that this was her fault, and she needed to fix it. Nekomaru could not die like this.

Mikan turned towards her as she checked his body. “I will. Just clear his room for me. I’ll lay him down in there.”

Akane stared almost lifelessly back into Mikan’s eyes. How different the girl was now, and how proud Akane would be if it weren’t for the situation at hand. Just as Mikan said that, Akane pushed past Nagito and dashed to Nekomaru’s cabin, nearly breaking the door as she entered. The place smelled just like him. Akane nearly lost it as she moved the weights out of the way. He kept a tidy house, so it wasn’t too hard. Nonetheless, Akane was exhausted, and she was close to breaking again. For once, she didn’t care about being _“weak.”_ She just wanted him okay.

Akane placed both her hands to her forehead and bit her cheek to stop the tears from falling from her eyes. She hit her forehead, not even trying to think of Nekomaru’s lingering heartbeat, or the graves. She just had to keep reminding herself that he would be okay. He would be fine. There was no way a single illness would kill Nekomaru Nidai. However, it might have been her own foolishness to push him over the edge.

But still, she was terrified, and she couldn’t stop herself from crouching against the wall and feeling her chest seize not unlike his. Nekomaru was just too good to be snuffed out. He was too kind, too magnificent, too positive, too helpful to be taken away from her just like that. Just like that, he could be gone. He could be, and Akane could not stop thinking about that.

_She couldn’t let that happen._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I've ended that chapter on a kinda cliffhanger, I'll say this: I am so sorry for the slow update! Originally I was gonna update yesterday, but I was stuck at the DMV from 10 AM to 7 PM. It suckkkkkkkkkkkkkked to say the least. But I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Thanks so much!


	24. Back to the Drawing Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Get Well Soon" ????????????? that's the only way I can describe this chapter.

The concept of fear alone was something Akane tried to ignore her entire life. Growing up without anyone to watch over her meant she had to take care of herself and the...little ones. Life was a constant struggle, a game that she had become accustomed to over the years. She hadn’t realized how troubling her entire way of life had been. The others were slightly intimidated by such a girl; one that was fast and rough and fierce in the ways she talked and moved.

The scars that littered her skin were proof of this lifestyle. For a long, long time, Akane truly believed this was a normal way to live. She simply hadn’t known the extent of how far her selfish actions had gotten her. From years ago, to the Neo-World Program, to now, she was a constant burden. Landed in a world where it seemed like no one had wanted her, where she wasn’t meant to exist.

And through sleepless nights and days, Akane pushed herself to her limit, growing familiar with the smell of sour alcohol and trash. And from what little of a conscience she had, it told her to stop. She needed to just stop doing whatever she did. She needed to listen to everyone else, and be quiet.

But girls like her never listened to themselves think, and here she was, in a dark room with a dying man.

Well, he wasn’t dying, she wanted to object. He wasn’t dying, because he would be in tip-top shape the next morning, and he’d yell at everyone just like normal again. They could just go back to whatever they did best, just like before in Hope’s Peak. Satoshi, Haruo, Ume, and Miki would be at home, waiting for her. She’d come home to sweet voices and make popcorn for them in the microwave.

Now, all she could do was silently stare at Mikan as she tried her best to resuscitate Nekomaru. He was currently unconscious, which worried her immensely. She could barely even keep her focus as she felt her eyes begin to blur. Her fingers gripped onto the shorts she still wore.

In Mikan’s hands, she was holding aspirin and a bottle of water, forcing it between his lips. Her morale was astounding. Never once had Mikan lost her grip, or panicked. She held the same motherly protectiveness as she had held with Fuyuhiko, when he had lost his eye. Her hands hadn’t shaken once, and her stutter was mostly gone. It was truly amazing, what a physical emergency could do.

Akane slowly raised her head. “I-Is...he…?”

“He is not awake at the moment, but no, he’s not dead.” Mikan briskly said, moving around the other side of the bed. “Watch him while I get the lanoxin…!” With that, Mikan sprinted out of the room, and shut the door briskly behind her. Akane was left alone.

Rather timidly, Akane moved closer to the bedside. There he was, in all his glory. It was somehow like looking at another person entirely. Nekomaru appeared so, so tired. Even in his sleep, his eyebrows were furrowed in what Akane guessed was pain. Akane shivered, unable to look at him. Her hands felt all clammy, and she was sweating all over her body. Simply put, she felt disgusting.

But she had to stay. She had to stay with him, no matter how long it took. She wouldn’t leave the room until he was better, standing on two feet and nagging at her about her health, or her eating habits. She missed that, even. She missed it all.

Clumsily, she found his hand sitting on top of the blanket that covered him. Akane gripped his hand tightly within her own and waited. Waited for Mikan, waited for him to wake up, waited for anything at all. The silence was going to drive her mad. Instead, she brought out her other hand and touched his chest. His heartbeat was still fast, but slowing down to normalcy. Akane sighed in slight relief, even if her own chest ached from the anxiety.

Her fingers found solace above his heart. Feeling the scar tissue there upon his chest, Akane couldn't help but feel her breath stutter in her throat. Why did he have to be born with such an illness? A person as high-energy and active as Nekomaru would have never given someone the impression of having it. Akane recalled stories of a little boy alone in the hospital, waiting for an early death. She couldn’t even begin to imagine such a burden.

Maybe if they had known each other, a long time ago, they could have helped one another in a way. It must have her luck if anything that she had met him at all. Perhaps she was even luckier than Nagito himself, because she had managed to have Nekomaru in her life.

Without realizing it, a few drops of something wet had fallen onto his hand.

The door swung open, and Akane immediately lifted her hands away from him. Mikan ran to his side, ringing out several small bottles of pills and sorted them. “Thank goodness we have shipments every few months, or else…!” Mikan then pulled out a bottle with liquid swirling inside. She gently pushed Akane aside as she pulled out a small needle and began to wipe at the inside of his elbow with an alcohol rubbed cloth.

“Woah, what’re doing?” Akane only saw the glimmer of something sharp.

“Injecting the lanoxin. Try...not to worry, okay?” Mikan gave Akane a firm look, and resumed her work. Akane blinked the wetness out of her eyes, and wiped her nose, backing away from the bedside. She had to pull herself together. These days, her weakness was close to overflowing her, and she just had to stop.

Mikan seemed too busy, so Akane sank against the wall on the other side of the room. Outside, she heard the worried voices of many of the others, no doubt. The knob turned ever so slightly, and Hajime stepped inside. He pushed back the other kids as he settled in the dark room. He eyed Akane without a word, and then walked over to Mikan.

“Mikan, what even happened?” Hajime called, setting his hand on her shoulder gently.

“How long have you been there, Hajime?!” Mikan squealed, jumping back from the bed.

Hajime was equally frightened, jumping backwards as well. “God! Just for a moment, I swear.” Hajime paused to take a breath. “Um, how is he?”

Mikan peered over at Akane carefully, and then turned over to Hajime as she whispered. “He’s stable for now. H-However...his heart was clearly stressed from something, which caused him to...well…”

“I hope he’s gonna be okay.” Hajime murmured. “Honestly, I didn’t really know about the...condition he had. Who would have known?”

“He usually kept it to himself.” Akane blurted out. Her legs were crossed as she looked down between them.

“Akane, I’m sorry that you had to see this.” Hajime swallowed. Akane didn’t respond.

“...I’ve given him everything I could. T-The hardest part is waiting...!” Mikan walked over to the corner of the room and dragged out her doctor’s bag. She took out a bottle of aspirin and set it on the side table. Mikan then pulled back her hair and stood awkwardly next to Hajime.

“Too bad we don’t have a hospital.” Hajime said. He was no doubt, thinking of the third island. However, that addition was only in the virtual world. The third island in reality was probably a normal resort like the others.

“As long as we’re giving him the medication, he should be…” Mikan trailed off, noticing Akane once again. “He should be okay.” Akane couldn’t help but feel like that part was a complete lie, but she held her tongue. Mikan then knelt beside the bed and checked his temperature.

Hajime decided to sit beside Akane, sliding down all the way to the floor. She stared forward, her breath still as he hummed quietly to himself. Hajime decided to try to comfort her. “Akane, are you alright?” It wasn’t his fault he was awkward. Akane tried to open her mouth to speak, but her nerves held her lips tight.

“Akane-”

“He can’t die.” was all she said.

Hajime tried to get a good look at her face, but it was turned away. “Akane, what happened?” Akane actually forgot the last time she had actually sat down and talked to Hajime. It had to be weeks before this. It was actually kind of sad. To be such a hermit that she had shut everyone away, and nearly gotten Nekomaru killed. Akane clenched her fists against her knees and silently hated everything.

“I-I was stupid.” Akane muttered. There wasn’t any other way to go around it. She was careless and selfish. That was that.

“Look, you can’t go around blaming yourself all the time.” Hajime said slowly. “I had...to learn that the hard way. You remember, don’t you?”

“...Yeah.”

Hajime slightly smiled. “Just be glad that he has Mikan here with him.”

“B-But...even back where they had hospitals there was a risk.” Akane mumbled with uneasiness. “He’s in constant risk, don’t you understand? It didn’t even take much to drag him over the edge!” She couldn’t help but snap at the end of it. Guilt rose in her gut.

“Akane-”

“I-I know what I’m doing, Akane.” Mikan faced her, her eyebrows furrowed. Akane sat back, blown away. Hajime’s eyes darted between the two of them, merely astonished at the whole ordeal. Akane dug her nails into her knees, teeth grinding. It helped that Mikan was here, yes. But even if he survived this, there was always that horrible, dreadful risk that he could just leave them just like that anytime later. If just a skirmish had unraveled him to cold sweat and weak heartbeats, then what would it do in the future? Akane didn’t want to think anymore. She didn’t want to think, didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to drink-

**...**

  
She didn’t even sleep. For a while, she had forgotten she needed to. Even Mikan, who had examined Nekomaru fully and confirmed that he was not in an emergency anymore, had retired to her own cottage to hopefully sleep herself. However, she only really went because Akane had forced her to get some sleep, convincing the nurse that she would let her know if anything went wrong. There were several excuses Akane could take to get some shut eye, but she could not leave the cottage. Many others had visited him during the day while he slept soundly, often leaving flowers on his side table.

Akane was back where she started, fingers curled around his own. She was not resting beside him, but her head was lying on the plush surface, staring directly at the side of his face. He was so peaceful as he slept. An almost unearthly aura enraptured the moment, as Akane forced herself to stay awake as long as she could. What if something happened? She had to be awake just in case. Even if he was “okay,” Akane would not allow herself to be apart from him.

It was a little after midnight, and Akane began to entertain herself with one of the flowers Sonia had brought for Nekomaru. She twirled it slowly in her hand, gazing at each pedal that stayed on the stem. It was a pretty, little thing: a pink carnation. Gundham apparently, had started a small garden inside his and Sonia’s own cottage. In his excuse, home-grown produce provided more sustenance for the Dark Devas.

Flowers were not unlike Nekomaru, in a way. Of course, the two were also vastly different. One was something so fragile and so delicate, the other was unimaginably powerful and sometimes even overbearing. But Akane had seen that side to him; that tiny, tender side that made the two comparable. A flower’s life was too short. It came and it went by too quickly. Nekomaru’s life was just as fleeting. According to his own doctors, he wasn’t even supposed to be alive at this moment. Akane guessed it was his own will power and lifestyle that made him so resilient. Or maybe he was just lucky.

She felt the bed shift slightly as Nekomaru started to stir. Akane barely noticed it, assuming he was merely turning in his sleep. That was until she heard his voice rumbling rather weakly in the silence.

“Hm-W-Who’s there?”

A trickle of bewilderment travelled through her spine, and she would have dragged her hand towards herself if it weren’t for her the fact that he was gripping back. She coughed to ease the vacant space. “...Hey, Nekomaru.”

“Akane, it’s too late for you to still be awake.” Though his voice was extremely quiet, it still carried that almost strict tone of a concerned friend. “You should get some rest.”

“Nah, I’m good. You’re the one...that you should be worrying about.” Akane couldn’t hold in the yawn that escaped her.

Nekomaru hummed, clearing his throat. “My memory’s still a bit foggy, y’know? Did I...pass out?”

“...Yep.” Akane bit her lip. There were so many things that she wanted to say, but she knew that she could never tell him. It was a horrible feeling in her chest. A feeling such as this would never let her rest as long as she stayed awake.

“Sorry if I worried you guys…! It used to be a lot worse, so at least this was th-”

“I thought...I thought you were going to die.” Akane whispered, her voice tight.

Nekomaru did what he could to see her in the lingering moonlight. Akane, who had stayed with him presumably all night, was exhausted. The dark circles under her eyes and the way her eyes would blink longer than she needed to, were signs of this. He knew she would never agree or even see his lines of reasoning, but no matter the circumstances, Akane was radiant. A deep feeling of appreciation rose in his heart, despite it’s persistent thumps of pain. Noticing her hand clasped with his own, he smiled gently and held it tighter. Akane blinked at him with suspicion even in the dark light.

“Like I said, I won’t die on your watch.” Nekomaru answered her.

“I don’t know, Nekomaru...I just…” Akane turned away, though her hand still stayed on his. She was being stubborn again, he guessed. “I don’t think...I should hang out with you anymore.”

“W-What? What do you mean?!” Nekomaru gaped, flustered and confused.

“I fought you, which caused y-you to...y’know. “ Akane looked in his eyes again. A looming feeling of something strange filled the air. He wanted to hold her hand as long as he could.

“No, you didn’t, Akane. It was just an accident.”

“But it wasn’t! I definitely did something that time, okay? A-And you fell and started talkin’ weird, and-” Her frantic breaths were cut off by Nekomaru, who soundly put a hand on top of her’s, the one that covered his other hand. Akane let out a breathless sound, unable to grasp the situation. “I...uh…”

“It was not your fault.” Nekomaru said as firmly as his could. However, if he spoke too loudly, he might have strained his chest more.

“Bu-But...Nekomaru-”

  
“It wasn’t your fault, Akane.” he said again, softer this time. Akane bit her cheek, and after a while, laid her head on the bed next to him. She sighed heavily, a shaky breath leaving her lips.

After awhile of them not speaking to one another, Nekomaru grumbled. “It is a shame though, that a few circumstances reduced me to...this.” He smiled pathetically, shaking his head. “Kinda sad, isn’t it? If not a little ironic.”

Akane didn’t respond at first, mostly because she too was too invested in her own thoughts to even speak. He was right. It was unfortunate, and not just that; it was not like him to be defeated so easily, even by fatal means. In fact, he had ran by her side as a remnant of despair, and his heart seemed to work fine then. So why now? Why was he now the victim of a weaker heart? Akane guessed it was probably his age, or maybe his years of action before this. But if just a little spar had sent him over the edge, then what could happen if it was worse?

“And before you say anything, Akane, just know that it wasn’t the fight that did it.” Nekomaru said. “Well, maybe a little!”

Akane raised her head. “What are you talking about?”

“Before our practice session, I had a lot of my mind, I guess you could say. The stress could have...strained my heart somehow.” Nekomaru began to think out loud, as if he truly did not know the reason behind his body’s actions.

“I dunno. I went too crazy with our fight, though.”

“I’ve defeated you at your most powerful. That was not your full power.” Nekomaru closed his eyes and concentrated.

“Wha-? H-Hey, I thought I did good that time…” Akane said, dejected.

“You fought too much with your anger, not your head.”

“Isn’t that the point?”

Nekomaru huffed. “Akane, I’ve been your manager for years now, and you still don’t know? The point of fighting is to hone your skills, to...protect those you care about.”

There was something soft in his expression when he had stopped talking. Akane glowered and pretended not to notice. There wasn’t anything keeping her interested in the conversation. There was no one for her to protect anymore. And it was obvious from the start that someone like her would only hurt Nekomaru more, no matter what he said.

“Fighting isn’t just something for you to abuse, Akane. Remember th-”

“You’re on your deathbed and you’re talking down to me…?” Akane asked.

“No! I’m not on my deathbed!” Nekomaru corrected her as he tried to sit up, but he winced as he did so, and cupped a hand to his chest. Akane saw this and frowned immediately, hand reaching towards him involuntarily.

“What’s gonna happen to you after this?”

“I...don’t know. I’m gonna have to live more carefully from now on. As much as it sucks, that’s gonna need to happen.” he said.

“But that’s just taking the fun away!” Akane protested.

“It’s either we do that, or I die.” Nekomaru tried his best to appear vigilant, but even Akane could see the panic in his eyes. “And I’m not planning on dying yet. There’s too many things I want to do.”

And how many things could a person do on a tiny island? Probably not that many, if she thought about it. Akane sighed and slowly released her hand from his. “That’s good, that’s good.” Her breath felt light to the air.

“...Have you really not slept since...well, the last time you slept?” Nekomaru asked with a heavy frown. “You’ve been awake the entire time?”

“...Uh, yeah. I guess?”

“Shit, Akane. You’ve got some dedication. At least you see why I was so determined to train you in the first place.”

“Thanks, coach.”

“But you should really get some sleep.” he commanded her. “It’s beyond impressive for you to stay awake this long, but it’s more important for you to get some rest-”

“But I’m used to this kinda thing. Back then, I’d have to stay awake with the lil' ones, and make sure no bad dudes came home.” As she finished her sentence, Akane held her tongue and would have crushed Nekomaru’s hand if she was still holding it. Oh. She hadn’t realized.

Nekomaru didn’t say anything for awhile, but it was physically hurting him not to at least cough for emotional support. Akane averted her gaze and sighed. “Don’t comfort me. I’m not the one who deserves it.”

“Bullshit! You can’t keep pretending that it didn’t happen.” Nekomaru growled, but then his features softened, and so did his voice. “There’s no shame in admitting you need help.”

“I’m not denying anything. I’m just saying-” Akane meant to speak, but for some reason, her mouth couldn’t produce a single sound. It was as if her entire voicebox had vanished.

Nekomaru gingerly lifted a hand to her shoulder, and patted it down. “Akane, you need to sleep.”

Akane did feel exhausted. Her eyes definitely had bags under them; she could just tell. She was so tired that she couldn’t smell much, and her face hurt from every muscle twitch. “But whadda ‘bout you? I can’t just leave you here!”

“I’ll be fine. I promise, Akane.” Through the black of the room, Akane could find that small, sweet smile that he would adorn sometimes. All of the sudden, her palms felt sweaty and she couldn’t hold her breath.

“O-Okay.” Akane muttered, forcing herself from him on the bed. Oh, it did not sit well in her gut, leaving him like this. But perhaps she was a little too clingy. He needed space too, after all. She probably smelled as well.

So Akane shakily stepped to the door, hands out in front of her in the dark, when she heard him barely above the wood floorboards creaking. “Oh, and Akane: thank you.”

She froze for a moment. “Huh?”

“If you hadn’t gotten me to Mikan on time, then I’d be far worse off, so thank you.” Nekomaru was being genuine, but Akane wondered why. It was partly her own fault anyway, damn what he said. Nonetheless, Akane stood with her back turned towards him and breathed out slowly.

“Anything.” Akane said. Anything for you, she wanted to say, if she longed to kill the mood. She could hear him trying to settle back into bed, as comfortable as he could get. When she opened the door and stepped into the cool night, she could feel a tinge of regret settling into her chest. So much to say, so much to do, and yet she couldn’t do anything but stand there in the lingering moonlight.  
  
It was rather nice, if she were to just forget everything that had transpired. In the outside world, red leaves were probably falling to the ground. They would crunch under people's feet. It would be delicate, homey. It would be perfect.  
  
"Hey."

Akane almost fell into the water from the sudden noise. Her feet wobbled as she tried to regain her balance. "W-What?!"

"Did I scare you? Sorry about that." The voice came from her left, and once she saw him, she frowned. Nagito Komaeda stood there with wild hair. His usual t-shirt was plastered onto his chest. He seemed normal, placid.   
  
"N...Nagito." Akane's mouth was dry. How long had he been there?  
  
"Akane." 

The awkwardness was nearly suffocating. Akane pushed herself from the side of the house and stood to face him head on. "What is it? What do you want?"  
  
Nagito scratched his hand. A mosquito bite was there. "Turns out I'm not so lucky when it comes to bugs, huh?"  
  
"Why are you here?" Akane could feel the burn of her hands on his neck. It had been so satisfying in that moment. So, so gratifying. But she couldn't...go back to that. She couldn't.   
  
"Did I not say?" Nagito quipped. "I came to see if Nekomaru was alright."  
  
"He's...fine." Akane's body unknowingly covered the door to Nekomaru's cottage. 

"It was rather nasty... I was there. Don't you remember?"  
  
"Yeah, I remember alright." Akane grunted. "But he needs to sleep. You...shouldn't...go."

Nagito didn't speak for awhile. Instead, he glared blankly at Akane. There was no emotion really present, except the hint of curiosity that flickered across his eyes. "Akane, are you afraid of me?"  
  
Akane barely moved. "No." Well, was she? Wasn't that why she was so on edge? Wasn't that why she was covering the door with her body? As an ally, Akane could trust Nagito. But as a person...what was he to her? Really, who was Nagito Komaeda?  
  
"I'd understand why, if you are." Nagito said. "There aren't many excuses I can make to what I did."  
  
Akane didn't respond. The air became stiff. Her memory jogged full of smoke and bomb threats, explosions going off in the hotel, blowing Kazuichi into the air. She remembered the laptop, glowing a faint green, walking into the dark room and hearing nothing but loud music. The smell of his blood had been disgusting and so...thick. He kept going.  
  
"I had reasons, though they weren't very honest." 

Akane couldn't bring her eyes away from him. "Do you remember when I choked you?"  
  
Nagito couldn't help but jump. "Yes, I do. It must have been satisfying."

"Yeah, it was." Akane sighed. "But then Chiaki..."

"She slapped you."

"Mhm." Akane's hand felt up to her cheek. It was still warm. "I deserved it."

  
"It must have been quite the wake up call, huh?" Nagito tilted his head and smiled. It wasn't a malicious smile.   
  
Maybe she was afraid of Nagito. Even as he was trying to become better, maybe she couldn't help it. It was the laptop, the bomb threats, the fun house, the gun, everything. He was frightening, even if that Nagito technically never existed in reality. Maybe Nagito was just like everyone else.  
  
"Yeah...Nagito, I..." Akane breathed deeply through the nose. Her face was still stuffy, from before. It must have been the sentimentality of the situation, but there had been something racing through her mind. She had to say it before she wouldn't have the chance.   
  
But Nagito continued on. "It's strange how little we have talked. It's almost as if-"

"I'm sorry." 

Nagito blinked several times. "You're sorry? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"It should be both ways or somethin. I dunno. Don't ask me!" Akane stepped away from the door and raised her voice. In a split second, she almost punched him. However, she held it back. 

Nagito grinned. "I won't ask you, then."

"Ugh, you're just..." Akane wiped her nose. "You're so damn annoying."  
  
"I know." he laughed.

"But I...What I did sucked and..." Akane suddenly tore out her hand, leaving it limply hanging in front of his face. "I have to say that I'm sorry."

Nagito glanced at her hand, and then her face. He was torn between something, she could tell. "I'll apologize as well, Akane. First off-"

"My hand...can you shake it or something?" 

Nagito nodded and shook her hand firmly. His hand was cold, almost boney. However, her's was warm and adorned with small marks and scars. 

Nagito continued. "Obviously someone as horrendous as I would have to apologize for a lot of things...So..."

"It's okay." Akane said.

"It's...okay?" 

"Yeah, I mean...Both of us are kinda in the dumps right now. I'm just glad that we actually said it." Akane crossed her arms across her chest. "I shouldn't have done that, okay?"

"I deserved it, though. It was what so-"

"I don't care, damn it!" Akane groaned. God, he was frustrating. "It was stupid of me to do! God, can you shut up?!"

Nagito shut up immediately. 

Akane's head drooped. "Ugh...see? There it is again. I'm...sorry for that, too."

Nagito couldn't help but grin. "You've changed a lot, Akane."

He was right. She had. It must have been a good thing, right?  
  
"I hope you have a good night." Quietly, Nagito turned around and began to walk away. "It was a nice talk." Then, he disappeared. He was just gone. Just like that, the conversation they shared became a blip in the grand scheme of things. Akane wrinkled her nose and sighed again, letting all the air loose from her mouth.

There was an urge, an urge to move. She could only just stand there uselessly, but the urge remained the same, if not more powerful than before. She needed, needed to do something. It was actually beginning to hurt her. The switch needed to be flicked. The lever had to be pressed. Akane needed to move and just do something already!

Just go! She thought as she raced towards her cottage. Just go and do something for once. Stop sitting on your ass and just-

Before Akane knew it, she was searching through her home, behind her cabinets and toilet, under the sink and her bed. One peculiar bottle was underneath her pillow. With disgust, she threw it into the center of the room with the others, and wrapped them all into a large towel. Together the bottles of liquor clinked together in harmony.

She needed to do something, and this was the only thing she could think of. As horrible as she felt constantly, just getting drunk and ruining everyone’s lives wasn’t going to help her situation. Why did she even drink, anyway? Was it to worsen the blow? To soften her fall? No, it couldn’t be that. Why? Why did she have to become the thing she hated the most?

Akane couldn’t take it anymore. Hungover mornings were going to end. Her irrational thoughts were going to end. Years ago, a younger Akane would be angry to see the mess she had ended up as. A weak, drunken coward who committed worse sins than your average death row inmate. A horrible, stinking murderer. A killer of children.

She couldn’t keep hiding from that truth. It was horrible, yes, but so was she. She needed to know the extent of what she had done. There was no escaping the hard truth.

So Akane balanced the tied towel in her arms, feeling the glass jingling inside. On two wobbling legs, Akane pushed herself out of the door and back into the night. No one was awake except her. It was the perfect time to do it.

The ground was uneven as she walked, and her eyes remained heavy. She could not quit now. She had to keep going. The tropical breeze chilled her arms and legs, which were bare to the wind. Her hair was being pushed slowly behind her. There must have been a storm coming. She could sense it in the air. How heavy the electricity tasted. If she wasn’t so tired, it may have made her feel alive.

There she stood in front of Usami Ranch. Her breath had merely fated before she pushed her way through the gates. Inside the barn, there were simple gardening tools that she could probably use. Curious, Akane stepped into the barn and peered around. To her relief, there it was: a shovel. A dirty, mismanaged shovel, but a shovel nevertheless.

Then, Akane got to work.

She hadn’t really used a shovel before. Never in her life had she dug a hole. Despite her early life being so full of death, there wasn’t a need to dispose of bodies. In fact, they would just disappear days after seeing them. Akane never knew where they had gone.

But now she could see how it was hard work. She supposed she needed the exercise, but how come digging was so arm-oriented? Using all of her upper body strength, Akane dug the shovel into the soft earth. Her toes pressed firmly into the soil with each heave, and eventually she stopped. There was a large hole right below her. It had to be about the length of a five year old. The hole was about three feet deep.

Without a word, Akane untied the towel and grabbed one of the bottles. The liquid sloshed around limply in her grip, and she grimaced before tossing it into the hole. Then, she took another and another and another, until the hole was almost completely filled. There were so many. She simply hadn’t realized how many there were. Did she really rely on alcohol this much?

Feeling “good” for a moment really was just a moment in the end. It was just a fleeting second, and then she would be depressed again, and drink some more. Well, she decided, No more.

Taking the shovel and looking into the hole one last time, Akane scooped a large portion of dirt and threw it into the hollow. It took so long that she could even see the fresh sunlight peeping behind the barn, but eventually she did it.

Akane had sweat crawling around each pore by the time she had finished. It was cold and warm at the same time, and the air was getting stuffier. But the hole was filled, and the towel was empty. The earth was jutting unevenly from where it was previously open. Dozens of dirty bottles were now sitting three feet underground. No one would drink from them again. Akane would never drink again.

At least, that was her plan. They wouldn’t hurt her anymore. She wouldn’t forget. She wouldn’t hurt the ones she…

Well, she did not truly know if it would work. At least, she wasn’t 100% sure. However, a leap of faith was going to change it, in any way possible. Any change had to begin small, even if it made her feel sick and cold. She must have been awake for more than 24 hours at this point, and her mind seemed slower than usual.

Gently, she stooped over herself and almost passed out on the ground. Struggling to hold herself up, Akane kept trying to think. She needed to think so she could stay awake. She _needed_ to stay awake so she could check on Nekomaru again. _She needed, she needed, she needed-_

Akane ended up asleep face down in the dirt.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some medical research this chapter...and sorry for the slow update. I am trying so desperately to wrap up the story (last chapters now!) , and UGh figuring out where to put everyting can be really frustrating yknow? But I assure you that I will try to end this story strong! I'm gonna miss not posting anymore...honestly.
> 
> Also random note here but honestly it’s surreal not writing Nekomaru with either exclamation points or caps lock LOL. As someone who did his free times, there’s a lot more to him than just yelling. Interesting stuff.


	25. Eternal Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people need to be remembered, especially old classmates.

  
Life continued as always. That is, it tried to. Akane couldn’t get drunk anymore, so that was a start at least. But then again, she’d sometimes find herself resisting to run back to the barn and dig her stash back up. Nekomaru, who was still confined to a “safer lifestyle” by Mikan, was proud of her. Mikan could only say so much, before she was overwhelmed with the stress of her own life. But it was to say that things were just...fine. They weren’t necessarily great, but they were okay. After all, things could be a lot worse. Or maybe, they could be a lot better.

Today was an anniversary. The day itself was just like any other day, but the island was quieter than usual. Akane was just surprised that they even knew when it happened. It was pretty spotty to her, and it was strange that there had to be one day of the year when they actually stopped to think about her.

A few months back, only four graves sat on the beach. It was a bitter fact that Akane ignored them as soon as she had made them. It wasn’t because she wanted to, but if she visited even for a minute, it would all come rushing back. At such a fragile state, the bottle would be in her hands before she knew it.

Now, with the tropical wind against their backs, all 16 of them stood and faced one particular shape on the beach. There was an idea there, that was passed onto Hajime. At least they had this, for the moment. All of them needed to move on, but they also had to remember. Because if they all forgot, what would the point be?

Hajime was in front of all of them, something small in his hand. It was amazing how quiet they all were. There wasn’t even one sound among them, only the cool wind hitting the sand and sea. A few seagulls flew overhead, no cawing heard. Akane stood between Sonia and Ibuki, who was even bowing her head in respect.

They had built it together. It was actually Nagito’s idea, weird as it was. Personally it was a shame that they hadn’t paid her tribute before recently. But here it was; a dainty, but sturdy cross that stood in front of the four graves. It held meaning, as small as it was. In front and around the cross were tiny stones and flowers. It was a modest, but beautiful sight. After all, she was never that flashy.

For a long time, Hajime didn’t do anything. Akane almost considered moving in place, before he finally moved forward and bent over, placing the puny object in front of the cross. He stood with his fists to his sides for a long time, before the others came up beside him, not talking even once.

“She can rest now.” Hajime managed.

Sonia laid her hand gently on his shoulder. “It’s very beautiful, Hajime.”

A soft murmur of agreement followed her statement. Hajime nodded, and considered the scene before him. The closer she had gotten to the cross, Akane could make out the puny shape of a familiar pin that stood out against the white sand. Marked into the cross was the familiar name:

**Chiaki Nanami**   
**Our Class Representative and Beloved Friend**  
**1996-2013**

  
A mocking voice. Blood splattering against the walls as a girl struggled and struggled to survive. Chiaki had been hoping beyond anything else, that she would be among everyone else. It was wicked. It was a cruel joke that didn’t need to happen. It was inhumane, and Akane fell for it. So did everyone else.

Chiaki was only 17 years old.

It wasn’t hard to figure out why they were all brainwashed. But beyond that, it was unbelievable enough that she was just...gone. Among the four of her siblings, she was never going to come back. Akane clenched her fists against her shorts. There was anger boiling, and she didn’t want to let it loose. She couldn’t; not right now.

All of them had to preserve it. They couldn’t forget her. They couldn’t let Chiaki die in vain. That was the only promise they could make.

The day turned into night. There wasn’t much to talk about, so Akane didn’t talk. And it wasn’t because she didn’t want to, but mostly because the silence would be appreciated in a time such as this. Of course they all had dinner together, complete with Ryota, but there was just something missing. Perhaps it was missing on purpose. For a long time, Akane played with her food before eating it. It just didn’t feel right. It felt weird to eat when she wasn’t even hungry enough to try it.

Ibuki and Hajime had disappeared, though. That must have been the strange part. From what she could tell from the scattered kids around the dining hall, they must have been gone for a very long time. A half hour at most.

“Has anyone seen them recently?” Sonia asked from the right corner of the room. She was sitting beside Gundham and lightly petting “Invading Black Dragon” Cham-P’s head. The amount of squeaking rising from that particular area would be annoying if it weren’t so cute.

Gundham shook his head and darkly smiled. “Hajime had escaped the all seeing power of my Dark Devas. Luckily for him, he might rest for another day.”

“Well...Ibuki has vanished as well as Hajime…” Sonia said. “I wonder where they have gone.”

“They said they had to get something, but I’m guessing they haven’t found it yet.” Shohta said.

“Y-Yeah...or...y’know…” Kazuichi unleashed an all-knowing grin.

Teruteru giggled fondly. “Are you saying our good, little Hajime and Ibuki decided to get a little frisky?”

“Ugh! For once, can you two just be normal?” Mahiru groaned. She was sitting on the floor with her polaroids spread out in front of her. Hiyoko was leaning against the wall.

“W-What? It just seems a little weird, that’s all!” said Kazuichi. “I mean he just leaves us all behind with her? Just seems a little suspicious…”

“You’re a little suspicious!” Hiyoko snipped.

Peko had returned from the kitchen with Fuyuhiko. The two must have been cleaning with Mikan and Nekomaru. In the few months that had passed by ever so slowly, Peko’s stomach had only gotten bigger. She must have been 9 months in. It was now a matter of time before it happened, and it almost felt too surreal to be true.

“Peko, c’mon. You shouldn’t work so hard...right now!” Fuyuhiko was running around her, desperately trying to get her to sit down.

“No, Fuyuhiko. There is so much that I need to do.” Peko brisly replied and continued picking up plates around the tables, lightly tapping Akane as she picked up her own plate. “Akane, are you finished? You haven’t...eaten as much as you usually do.”

Akane smiled with reassurance. “Hm? Nah, don’t worry about it, Peko! I’m fine.”

“Well…” Peko looked at Akane and then at the plate, and then at Akane again. “Alright.” She then picked up the plate and was followed back by Fuyuhiko.

“Wh-What do you mean ‘so much to do?’ Peko, you’re pregnant! I mean, really fucking pregnant!” Fuyuhiko’s frantic voice was heard as the two left into the swinging doors. Akane managed to hold her smile as the voices left her and she was given the silence that she thought she wanted. What would Chiaki think of them now? What would she think of all this?

Sonia laid her hands in front of her mouth. “Hm, we need to plan the baby shower, don’t we? Oh, it will be most impressive!”

“The sooner, the better.” Shohta and Ryota were slightly separated from the others. Ryota had a small sketchbook laid on his lap, and he hadn’t been talking for the past hour. It must have been his pure concentration. Shohta didn’t seem to mind, as he must have been the most relaxed Akane had seen him.

“Yeah, well! I don’t want Kazuichi and Teruteru to be right, so they better hurry up.” Hiyoko said, and then paid more attention to Mahiru’s photos. A totally different emotion laced her voice as she turned to Mahiru. “Wow, these are so amazing, Mahiru!”

“Ah, well! Thanks.” Mahiru couldn’t help the blush that flooded her cheeks. “I need to work on taking more, y’know?”

Just then, Nagito walked in from below the room. The jacket he always wore was now tied around his waist, and he pranced in like no one’s business. Then, he sat uncomfortably close to Akane at the dining table and started humming to himself. The mechanical arm buzzed by itself.

“Um...Back off...” Akane didn’t want to sound too harsh, but she couldn’t help her acerbity. She swallowed her pride. “Please?”

“My bad, Akane. I must have sat too close.” Nagito smirked. It was obvious he wanted to say something.

“Yeah…” Akane schooched herself away and grabbed the plate into her hand. Hopefully her seat wouldn’t get too cold. Grumbling to herself, she shuffled to the kitchen door and pushed it wide open. Strangely enough, she could still smell old frosting from the cake incident a few months earlier. It almost made her hungry...Almost.

When she had burst through the doors, the four remaining stared at her directly in confusion.

“O-Oh, Akane! Hello!” Mikan seemed at least happy to see her. Behind her, Peko and Fuyuhiko were having a hushed discussion, barely even paying attention to anyone else. Nekomaru was too busy washing some plates. It was so alien to see a crazy guy like him so domestic.

“Hey, Mikan.” Akane practically crawled over and leaned against the wall. It wasn’t much better here. The clattering of kitchen utensils was almost painful. Her gut felt wrong, as if it were held in a bind. Maybe...she was thirsty. God, she felt really, really sick. “D-Do you got any of that good tastin’ pink stuff?”

“You...mean Bismuth subsalicylate? Otherwise known as diarrhea medication, or Pepto Bismol?” Mikan supplied. Nekomaru was immediately alarmed by this, and he started laughing really loud.

“GAH-HAHA! Good luck to you, Akane!”

“W-What? No! I just don’t feel good. I mean, I’m all sweaty and shaky…!” Akane snapped and tried to force her limbs to stop sweating. Man, she was cold everywhere.

“Oh, then I’m sorry…!” Uncharastically, Nekomaru returned to his work with a rather shameful demeanor.

“Akane, by the symptoms I have noticed...I believe you are experiencing alcohol withdrawal.” Mikan said.

“...What?” Alcohol withdrawal? What in the world was that?

Fuyuhiko seemed to pop out of nowhere. “It means you’re an alcoholic, Akane. I mean...I know the feeling, so…”

“I’m an alcoholic?! How?!” Akane screamed so loudly that the others had probably heard outside.

“You drank all the time, Akane…” Nekomaru shook his head. “It did not fit you, as a person.” The back of Akane’s neck tickled with annoyance.

“She’s probably trying to recover, man.” Fuyuhiko said. Peko had already left the room. That was strange, how quiet she still was with being pregnant and all. Wouldn’t her giant stomach knock pans off of the counters? Or was that just what Akane thought pregnancy was like?

Akane bristled with reluctant rage. “But I didn’t even know-”

“Perhaps, it'd be best if we get you to a safe, dark place.” Mikan took her hand and tried to lead her out of the room.

“Safe and dark? No, I need to stay here!” Akane jostled out of Mikan’s soft grip. The girl squeaked with surprise and jumped back against the wall.

“Mikan’s right, Akane. You should be resting!” Nekomaru was almost cut off by Akane’s sharp reflexes, before she stopped. No, he was the one who should have been resting. Not her! Not her in a million years!

“No, Nekomaru!” Akane snarled. She couldn’t say what she thought, though. That would be too soon, wouldn’t it? After all, it had been only a short while after his near-death experience.

“Akane, don’t be a dumbass. Listen to the nurse.” With that, Fuyuhiko left after Peko, probably. Akane combed a sweaty hand across her face, and refused to look at Mikan or Nekomaru in the eyes.

For a long time they didn’t say a thing. It must have been killing them, given how stubborn Akane was. But she needed them to know one thing. If she could go sleep, she could. She just couldn’t right now. They needed to just...do something!

“Look,” Akane muttered, “There’s a reason for this. I just know it.”

Nekomaru crossed his arms. “Your gut feeling?”

“Yeah.”

“Well...just try to be careful, Akane…Come to me if there is an emergency…!” Mikan gave her a solid but sweet pat and left the room. Only the two remained in the kitchen.

Akane rubbed her arm. She still couldn’t look at him in the eyes. If she did that, it’d make her feel all tingly and awkward. “I can’t believe I’m an alcoholic.” Just like that, she had become the very thing she never wanted to associate herself with. Just like that, the old Akane was gone.

“Me neither. Akane, I warned y-” Nekomaru held his tongue. “I didn’t want it to come to this, but...there’s still a lot of things to do! So I can’t have you giving up yet, okay!”

“I already told you about the hole I made. The...beer hole.”

“Yeah, and for that I’m so proud of you! Moving forward is the greatest step for an athlete!” Nekomaru brought out a hand and rustled her hair just like he used to. _There it was again!_ That stupid, stupid feeling! Akane bit her lip and looked away. Weak, weak, weak!

“You shouldn’t be, but…” Akane managed a smile as she finally met his eyes. He was just a good couple inches taller than her. It wouldn’t take much for him to lean down, would it? Or to touch her cheek ever so gently, despite his loud appearance. What...would come after that? _Maybe_...maybe...he would-

Wait...no. _What was that?_ Akane laughed suddenly. “W-Well, y’know how it is!”

Nekomaru, however, was completely clueless. “How what is?!”

“Y’know…” Akane took this moment to finally break free of the socially awkward nightmare that was the kitchen. Her cheeks felt so hot. What the actual hell was that?! Oh, god! What was that?! Now she just felt way worse than she had before.

Due to her sudden appearance, all the eyes in the room had landed on her. Akane didn’t notice, and instead pounded her fist weakly against her knee. “Damn it all to hell! Damn, damn, damn!”

“Uh...Akane? You...uh, alright?” Hajime was there, along with Ibuki, holding a large box. Hiyoko was snorting maliciously to herself, while Mahiru playfully hit her arm.

“Wow, Ibuki sees Akane’s mental breakdown!” Ibuki pointed with her own way of concern.

“It’s not a mental....whatever-you-said!” Akane grunted. But maybe it was? Stupid, stupid brain. Perhaps she was sicker than she thought.

“But you just went into a total freakout!” Kazuichi said. “And you’re usually so chill!”

“Now, Kazuichi! Let us all ease off of Akane for now!” Sonia reprimanded. Akane silently thanked her in that moment. Just what she needed were more questions., and more confusion. If only her gut wasn’t lurching so painfully, she might have wanted to go to her cabin and sleep it off. Akane knew, however, that she could not.

“Yeah, come look at all the crazy stuff me and Hajime found!” Ibuki yelped, and dumped the box on the floor. Hajime screamed in a frantic dread, before he realized that nothing had broken. On the wooden floor now, was a bunch of...stuff. It look like bits of molded plastic and metal. It had wires connecting into it. There were buttons and all kinds of things!

“What...is that?” Akane could only mutter in pure awe.

“It’s-It’s a Sega Genesis! I know it!” Ryota had dived from his previous shell-state, and ran to the object, examining every detail. His eyes were wide and young, like a child’s. Suddenly, the ache in Akane’s heart got worse.

“Ryota!” Shohta shouted after him, but smiled once he realized there was no harm done.

“You recognized it! Maybe the kids these days know more than I thought!” Ibuki began to fiddle with it herself. “Hajime and Ibuki went looking for it in the market! It was very dangerous, yes!”

Hajime shook his head. “...No, it wasn’t.”

“Wait. Does this mean you and Ibuki weren’t...yknow…” Teruteru asked. It seemed innocent enough, save for the smirk that appeared on his face.

“What? No!” Hajime threw his hands in the air and groaned. “I do one good thing! One good thing!”

“Soda and I had a bet, Hajime. No need to get all flustered…”

“Horse racing?” Ibuki asked.

“N-No, Ibuki. C’mon, let’s set it up or something!” Flustered as all hell, Hajime stormed out of the room and ran down the stairs.

Ibuki whined and didn’t even move from her spot. “But it’s way too heavy for me!” Hajime was already gone, and Ibuki was left with everyone else. It was an awkward couple of seconds before Hajime nearly pulled himself up the stairs, carrying what looked like a really, old TV. It must have been made a full decade before today, and it wasn’t that big.

“Oh, my god.”

“W-What is he doing?!”

“Why do you have a television, Hajime?!” Sonia rushed over to his side, and helped him to not let it fall to the floor, leaving Gundham and the hamsters behind. It was set on the table Nagito was now idly sitting beside.

“Hm. I get it now.” Nagito tilted his head, eyes still bright as they were before. “Is this a part of the memorial?”

Hajime almost froze, gently backing away from Nagito while still maintaining a steady frown. “You...guessed right. Again.”

“We’re...playing games?” Mahiru asked.

“Yup, yup. It was Hajime’s idea....!” Ibuki shook Hajime’s shoulder with camaraderie, and he simply hid half of his face with his palm.

“W-Well...It’s not anything that deserves a pat-on-the-back, okay? It’s just something...that I needed to do.” Hajime began to fiddle with the wires of the television.

“So this is gonna be like that day in Hope’s Peak?” Shohta asked.

Ryota stayed confused. “What day?” Obviously the boy had never even really met them officially...before. How would he even know Chiaki like they all had?

“Hey, that’s cool! Thanks, Hajime!” Kazuichi rushed forward, not perturbed by anything in the moment. His eyes were all sparkly. It was honestly kind of frightening, if not endearing. “Wow! I haven’t seen a TV like this in a while…!”

“You’d probably be better setting it up than me…” Hajime said rather bashfully.

And it ended up that way, too. Kazuichi had gotten the console hooked into the TV as planned, and soon enough there was a small screen flickering in the dining hall. Akane watched with wide eyes at the sight as the pixelated menu came to life, earning cheers from the others.

“So...what kind of game is this?” Peko asked. “I...have to admit I might not be too good at it.”

Fuyuhiko shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, Peko. I’m probably gonna be terrible, too.”

“It’s not about being good! It’s about having fun!” Ibuki shoved the controller into Fuyuhiko’s smaller hands. “Now sit down and play it, Baby Gangsta!”

  
Fuyuhiko sputtered, blushing at the cheeks. “W-What the hell?! You too?!”

Akane couldn’t hold in the laugh that escaped her, as she moved closer to the TV's unnatural glow. The air was warm, and so was the atmosphere of the entire room. There was an almost unearthly feeling as she sat down with the others, watching Fuyuhiko fail miserably and laugh at his amateur mistakes. Peko was also laughing. Like, full on laughing. Her eyes were closed. She probably didn’t realize how happy she looked.

The games kept coming, though Akane never asked for a turn. She was content enough watching them for now. Besides, even she had played with Chiaki before...It wouldn’t be the same. Still, it didn’t disconcert the rest, however.

An hour passed, and the sound of competition and friendly banter rose further in the room. Chuckles from every direction, even from the almighty Gundham. They were experiencing joy again, playing together in different games and different worlds. Akane was met with another guilting emotion. It must have been nostalgia. It pulled at her ribs and gut something fierce, and made her throat feel tighter the more she focused.

She was content, but there was just something missing. Perhaps she would never find it again. That one feeling that made her shriek with joy and laugh like she used to. That one feeling that made her mouth hurt from smiling too much. That... amount of jauntiness wouldn’t be around for at least a long, long time.

But she couldn’t let herself be this sour. She needed to cheer up, didn’t she? Chiaki wouldn’t want her sulking this much. Akane thought hard about it. If Chiaki was here right now with them, what would life be like? Of course, this was a reality that she could never escape to. No matter the blood spilled, the screams rufacing, the siblings begging for her to stop hitting them with the wooden plank-

That could never happen, but Akane needed to do something. She tried her hardest to think, to know the feeling in her heart, but it stayed the same it had always been. Almost growling in frustration, Akane threw her fist against her knee.

“Akane, don’t do that.” Akane looked up to see Peko staring blankly at her.

“Sorry.” Akane knew it wasn’t like her to say, but she didn’t utter another word. In the corner of her eye, she could make out Nekomaru, who had recently joined the group. He was currently battling Hajime, Fuyuhiko, and Gundham in a game of...Well, she really didn’t know. It looked a bit similar to what she had played with them all the way back in high school.

“Why are you sitting all by yourself?”

Akane weakly smiled. “I dunno, Peko. Maybe you should play the video games or somethin.”

“I was right. I was really bad at them.” Peko smiled back. This time, it was genuine. “So I am here to persuade you…”

“To what?”

“Guess...!”

“Uh...play the games?” If she was being completely honest, Akane felt strange with video games ever since practically being in one. To this day, she couldn't even bring herself to fathom the situation. 

Instead, Peko moved her shoulder towards the group again. They were cheering louder now. Sonia was especially vocal for Gundham, while Kazuichi appeared only a little hurt at her actions. If she was alive again, Chiaki would be right at the front, mouth agape and fingers at the controller. Akane had to look away, because she couldn't take it anymore.

“Just tell me what you’re tryin’ to say, Peko. I’m too tired to guess.” Akane murmured.

“It’s not the thing I should say out loud, though.” Peko said. Again, there was that tiny, puny smirk that would have mocked her if Akane didn’t know it so well. “I think you know, deep down.”

“Is this about my weird stuff?”

“Your...weird stuff?”

Akane exhaled heavily, staring hard at the TV. “I dunno. I’ve been gettin’ these strange feelings all the time. It’s real annoying. Makes me feel all weak inside.”

“Do...you think there is a reason?” By the look of Peko’s eyes alone, she knew the answer. Akane didn’t want to ask her.

“Alcohol with drawer.” Akane sighed. “That’s what Mikan told me!”

“You mean ‘withdrawal?’”

Akane didn’t tear her eyes away from the scene in front of her. Sonia, Mikan, Mahiru, and Hiyoko were all facing off this time. The cheers got louder in turn.“That’s it! Y’know me, always forgettin’ names.”

“But those are not the symptoms. Believe me, I know.” Peko thought about it. “Do you think...that perhaps these feelings are because of someone?”

“Hm?” Akane faked a laugh. “Nah, I don’t think that. I mean, how could one of you make me feel this horrible?”

“H-Horrible?” Peko blinked twice. “It does not seem that way to me…especially since you seem so elated everytime you are around him…”

“What the hell are you talkin’ about?!” Akane snorted. “Now you’re saying words that just don’t make any sense.”

“Nevermind that, Akane. What I’m saying is: I felt the same exact way, before everything. Now, if you are just...more honest about your feelings-”

“Ugh, I still can’t understand you.” Akane shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Peko sighed and dropped her head. “You know what? Nevermind all of this. You’re not going to understand like this. Instead…” Peko then grabbed ahold of Akane’s hand and dragged her over to the TV. She tilted her head towards one of the girls who were playing. “Akane would like a turn, if that is alright.”

Akane started to sputter again. “N-No, I don’t…!” But her screams were not immune to the ethuisated gasps of the others.

  
“Yeah, of course!”

“Join the fun, Akane!”

“Where have you been all this time, anyway?”

“Whatever, she still won’t beat me.”

Then, a controller was placed idly in Akane’s hands. She blinked a couple times at it, unsure what to think of the device. She flicked a few buttons, causing a character on the screen to jump up and down. It had been a very long time, indeed.

Akane shot a glare back at Peko, who smiled and covered her mouth with a dainty hand. Akane flushed red and gripped the controller hard with her sweaty, damp palms. Gross, she thought. However, she had to hang in there, as Peko was (as she usually always was) right. That girl...what a strange one she was.

“Now, Akane…” asked Sonia carefully. “Shall we explain the rules?”

And the night went on. It just kept going, and the longer it went, the more Akane found herself falling into the rhythm. It was comfortable, and yet the feeling was still there. No matter if she was winning or losing, her heart was still beating fast and hard. Maybe that alcohol withdrawal was hitting her harder than she thought it was.

But she couldn't think like this. There was something here, in the dining hall. There was a spark of something truly good, something to remember for all time. This was a feeling or them all to hold onto. It was recollection, it was remembrance, and it was hope. It was almost as if, despite the impossible, Chiaki was right there with them. It was like she had never even left. And as the night went on, Akane could have sworn, that in the corner of the room, she saw her smiling at them.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm gonna begin this note with a big ol "HAPPY (early) BIRTHDAY, AKANE!!!!!!!!!!!" Love u girl SM.... i was gonna originally post the chapter tomorrow, but i couldn't handle the wait anymore. Love u guys and hope u enjoy this chapter and thanks for waiting for like a week?? Y'know me? Gotta be writing that good fluff for a ship that's painfully underrated like??? no shade but ???? theyre rly cute : c
> 
> And about this chapter, well...Chiaki needs that respect, and it's about time I finally wrote her some! I mean, real solid respect. Even though she is gone, she's gonna live on in my heart as the tru gaming Queen.


	26. Fragility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I say too much I'm gonna spoil it, but uh...consider this chapter a Labor of my love ;;; )))))

Baby showers were one of the stranger traditions of the modern world. That is, it was before despair has ruined everything. The old idea was a way to celebrate pregnancy, a new life. A couple of women would join together a few weeks before the due date and...do things. Akane wasn't sure what they did, exactly. Maybe they played party games or something.

Planning a baby shower was something else, if it was anything. One thing was for certain; and that was that Akane had no clue what to even decorate. She had a bunch of party streamers in one hand, and party hats in the other.

“Um...Sonia?” Akane asked as her and a couple of girls ran around the hotel’s lobby. Today was especially busy. Maybe that was because Peko was so close to bursting, and no one even knew when the baby would appear. Akane had her fair share of witnessing childbirth. It wasn’t pretty, from what she remembered. What a nightmare that would be when it finally happened...

“Akane! You must attach the streamers to each side of the wall!” Sonia ran over to her and unraveled the roll.

“But I dunno how!”

“You...don’t know? Akane, don’t tell me you haven’t decorated for a party before!” Mahiru chirped in, shaking her head. Since the shower was her idea, Mahiru was almost about to explode from stress.

“Well...no.” Akane never had the opportunity to even go to the rare party or two. How the hell would she be able to plan one?

“Don’t fret, Mahiru. I’m sure we’ll be able to finish in time.” Sonia said.

“B-But the shower starts at noon!” Mahiru frantically pointed at the clock. It was 11:45.

“Hell! Shit! Damn it!” Sonia erupted into a flurry of madness and nearly ran out of the room.

“S-Sonia! P-Please don’t worry!” Mikan stopped tying a balloon to a chair and nearly fainted from the swearing of fury.

“Unless you wanna die from stupid-disease, Akane, put up those ribbons.” Hiyoko called from the corner of the room. She was sitting down and eating gummy bears. “If Mahiru gets mad, it’s gonna be all your fault!”

“But you’re not doing anything!” Akane said.

“M-My skin is delicate! Mahiru put me in charge of watching you guys.”

Mahiru sighed with exasperation. “No, I didn’t. You better start putting up those balloons with Mikan, or else…!.”

“That’s not fair!” Hikoko moaned. Akane honestly thought she had changed, maybe if just a little bit. It was barely a surprise to anyone that she seemed to revert back to her childish ways.

“T-Teamwork makes the dreamwork, Hiyoko!” Mikan cheered, the nervousness barely concealed within her voice.

“Ugh...you guys are so lame.” With that, Hiyoko tied a balloon to a chair with the energy of a slug, and the charm of a baboon.

Sonia was still gone, screaming and trying her hardest to straighten out her life decisions. In fact, Ibuki had disappeared, too. God knows where that girl had went. Akane decided that she hated baby showers. Why celebrate a baby before it was born? Why not just wait a little bit? It was very redundant, but then again, she was not a mother.

Starting to think about it, Akane decided that being a mother wouldn’t suit herself in the slightest. Sure, she loved kids. That...That must have been it, then. It had to do with trust. To make sure that horrible things like that wouldn’t happen again. It was still unbelievable that she managed to live a month or two after she found out. It was a shame. It really was.

Then again, having children would be an impossible feat. Akane didn’t know much about pregnancy, but from what she had seen with her countless step-mothers, babies came from two people. Of course, that was the most obvious fact of all. It was kinda gross, from what Akane could understand. Sex education wasn’t exactly her strong suit.

Grumbling to herself, Akane grabbed a roll of tape from the end of the room and stood on a chair near the left wall. With her mouth and two hands, she managed to crudely tape the streamer from one end of the room.

“Haha! Mahiru, look! I did it!” Akane proudly stood and cheered on top of the rickety chair.

Instead of an expected nod of approval, Mahiru shrieked in fear. “A-Akane, get off that chair right now!”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Man, you all are so uptight.” Akane jumped off of the chair and briskly turned around to peer at the clock. To her expectancy, it was 12:00.

Sonia came barrelling into the lobby, cursing to herself. “Oh, hell…! Please tell me it looks presentable, at least! It’s the-It’s the most I can do…” Sonia nearly gasped as the sight, as it must have been horrifying. “Where’s...Ibuki when you need her?”

“She’s um, getting Peko!” Mikan said.

“W-What? For the love of god! Peko knows how to get here!” Mahiru groaned, sweating from every pore. It was strange to see someone so bright come apart from a stupid baby shower.

“Mahiru, it’s okay!” Hiyoko called sweetly.

Akane grunted out. “Like I just said, you guys are freaking uptight! It’s just a baby party!”

“Baby shower.” Mahiru corrected. “And, no. I have every right to be uptight, okay? I haven’t even planned a baby shower before! How am I-” Her voice was cut short by the familiar noise of the door opening. In came Ibuki and Peko, the former dragging her by the hand and grinning like a fool. Peko waddled in like the future-hospital patient she was and glanced around with confusion.

“What...is this?” She asked.

“Surprise! Surprise!” Ibuki cheered, firing several party poppers off into Peko’s direction. The poor girl froze and let the confetti cover her face.

“Ibuki! You can’t scare the baby! It’ll come out!” Akane paused. “Hey, Peko!”

“...Hello.” Peko said.

“Wait...don’t tell she doesn’t know why she’s here?!” Mahiru groaned. “You didn’t tell her, Ibuki?!”

“Ibuki thought it would be nicer as a surprise!” Ibuki said.

“But it looks god-awful!” Sonia cried out. “Peko, please decline if you must. We have tried and failed. I-I have...never been so ashamed in my life…!”

“It’s all Akane’s fault! She’s too stupid to put up ribbons.” Hiyoko snarked.

“Hey!” Akane didn’t give in completely to Hiyoko’s remarks. What good was gonna happen if she did? What? She’d win? Of course she wouldn’t. Who could win against the skill of an evil, grown up baby? Even if the Normal Lessons (which had been discontinued for a while now) had helped her, there was still a long way to go.

“Hiyoko! Go to your room and recite what you are thankful for.” Mahiru snapped. Hiyoko got up and crept out of the room, muttering a tiny apology to Akane on the way out. Maybe, as long as Mahiru was here, Akane might win more often.

“W-We thought it would be nice to host a baby shower! Oh, it sounds like so much fun…!” Mikan said. Peko didn’t respond for a while, looking either at the torn up ribbons or taped up streamers, to the half-assed balloons. On the outside, it was obvious that Peko was absolutely speechless.

“Usually I am always ahead of the schedule, and the parties on top of that. I’m so sorry, Peko.” Mahiru bowed her head and looked like she wanted to cry. Peko reached out a gentle hand and pressed it against Mahiru’s shoulder. To think that Mahiru had “died” a year ago from Peko’s own actions. How the tides had changed.

“No, Mahiru...It’s-It’s wonderful.” Peko said. “Thank you very much.”

“Peko...you’re too kind, really!” Sonia’s voice was a blubbery mess of emotions. Like Akane had predicted, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

**...**

While Sonia was gathering the gifts with a newly returned Hiyoko, Mahiru leaned in close. “So...have you found out the gender?”

“Of the baby? No, I’m afraid not.” Peko whispered. Akane was leaning away from the crowd, towards the chair to the farthest of the room.

“Well, I can try to do my best, but I never was ski-skilled with babies…” Mikan whined rather pathetically. The fact was surprising enough.

“It’s okay. Fuyuhiko and I would rather find out naturally.” Peko was interrupted by 5 gifts landing in front of her face. “Oh....you all didn’t have to…”

“Of course we did, Peko! Just your gracing presence is fine enough with me…” Ibuki grabbed the nearest gift to herself and shoved it into Peko’s chest. “Now, open it!”

“Um...alright.” Peko carefully and gently ripped apart the present, releasing a scuba mask from the packaging. “A...scuba mask?”

“Yeah! Every baby loves a good dive, Peko.” Poor, poor Ibuki. Her comments just were not going to do with Mahiru in the room.

“Um, n-no. No baby should be scuba diving! Next!”

  
And the presents went on. Unsurprisingly, there weren't many baby items, if any, on Jabberwock island. What made it exciting was trying to find the rare milk bottle, or pacifier. Lord knows what was hidden in that convenience store.

Sonia, Mahiru, and Mikan had gotten the only sensible gifts of the group: a stuffed rabbit, a baby monitor, and a baby thermometer respectfully. Hiyoko said she “pitched” in with Mahiru, which was a complete lie. Meanwhile, the lone survivor, Akane, had gotten Peko a large block of ham.

“H-Ham?” Peko sputtered, unsure how to hold it. One of her hands was lying uncomfortably on her stomach. She looked to be in pain. Hiyoko started laughing maliciously again, Mahiru held her nose between her fingers, sighing to herself.

Akane smiled the friendliest smile she could muster, but she felt hot shame trickle down her belly. She wished she was just back in her room, lying face down in her mattress. Today just wasn’t one of those days. “What better way to get strong for a baby than meat! Maybe he can eat it when it comes out…!”

“Well, Akane...I’ll keep that in mind.” As daintily as possible, Peko nibbled on one piece of the meat. “Hm...thank you.”

“Ahah! I told you she’d like it!”Akane laughed, but then her smile faltered. “Peko...you okay there?”

“Ah? Oh, yes...just…” Her skin was paler than usual, she was sweating all cover, and she seemed to be lightly rocking side to side. “Mu...Must be…” She trailed off into her own little world, horrifying the other girls.

“Peko! Peko!” Sonia tried shaking her back to normal, but it was no use. Peko was still silently wincing to herself.

“Akane, you killed her!” Ibuki screamed.

Akane started to sweat cold. “What the hell?! How?!”

“Your ham! You killed Peko!” Ibuki started to bite off the nail polish off her nails, and shrieked like a little girl. “S-Someone call the ambulance!”

“She isn’t dying!” Mikan shouted, standing tall above the others. With one hand, she grabbed hold of Peko’s and pulled the girl up to her feet. “One of you, go clean up her cabin at once. Make sure there is nothing sharp on the floor.”

“W..What?” Don’t tell me…?” Mahiru had the same face as a young Akane had donned a decade ago, seeing her stepmother writhe in pain and whine to herself.

“It’s t-time…!” With that, Mikan nodded, and set to work. Akane stood in a circle of confused and frightened girls, just waiting for the alarm to go off.

 

**...**

And the alarm went off. Went it did, she could have sworn the entire island was sept into a frenzy. There must have been some kind of typhoon or something. A large, eccentric hurricane had come and blown everyone away. Or maybe a very young woman was about to have a baby. Maybe that was it!

  
To put it plainly, everyone had lost their shit.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-” Fuyuhiko came charging in with at least 5 blankets piled on top of his shoulders. He was all sweat and nerves. Akane stood in the back of the lobby, helping a stumbling Peko to her feet. Fuyuhiko dryly swallowed and searched the room for Peko, relaxing slightly when he found her. “Well?! The baby is…?!”

“T-The baby won’t be here for at least a few hours ...at least!” Mikan stammered. She too, was trying to get her act together. It must have been a huge deal for her as well.

“Well, we need to, uh, get her lying down and shit-” Fuyuhiko tugged on Mikan’s sleeve to signify the change, but Peko’s voice rose softly. She seemed to be in great pain, but she maintained a steady smile.

“Fuyu...I will be fine. Mikan will take care of me.”

Fuyuhiko remained stunned. “I-I...uh...I dunno…”

“Y-Yes...I will…Please try not to overstress, Fuyuhiko…! It’s not good for the heart...” Mikan almost at once, took Peko’s hand and gently dragged her away from Akane. She could only watch helplessly as the three ran outside. Akane was left alone with the other girls. She didn’t know what to say.

“Oh, my god…” Mahiru murmured, hand to her mouth.

“That was really cliche! The ol’ ‘baby shower and the baby actually comes!’ What a shocker!” Ibuki seemed completely unfazed. “We need to bake a cake or something...”

“Babies don’t eat cake, dumbie.” Hiyoko snarked.

“Maybe...we should get our minds off it for now…” Sonia said. “Just to give them some space-”

“No!” Akane snapped. “We can’t just leave her like this!” Then, she paused. What the hell was that all about? She hadn’t meant to yell at Sonia like that. Even Hiyoko was surprised, mouth open wide. Sonia looked slightly hurt, if not confused. “Shit...I’m...I didn’t mean to-”

“It is alright, Akane. I understand. However, I believe Peko is going to be fine.” Sonia affirmed, hands across her lap as she sat.  


“Mhm! I’m sure the baby is gonna be a pretty, little baby! I mean, those genes…” Ibuki sighed with elegance.

“B-But…” Akane couldn’t compete with them. She just couldn’t. Instead, she sunk her head between her hands and started to ignore them.

Eventually the crowd began to thin. The other girls had decided they wanted to make the new parents something. Perhaps the cake idea had won. Who knew what the guys were doing. And...Peko? How was she? Akane looked at the clock. It was an hour past when she had gone into labor.

Why did babies have to be born in such an awful way? Why did it have to hurt so much? Back home, women would die from complications from childbirth all the time. Her own stepmothers had their fair share of stillbirths or miscarriages. Those babies might have become Akane’s siblings, but they never had a chance to begin with. Too much wine, Akane guessed.

Peko had drunk wine, at the very beginning. Now thinking about it, that was so long ago that it started to hurt her brain. To think it was only nine months. It seemed so, so ancient by now. Before that, Peko had woken up, and their friendship had just begun.

Peko was a good friend. She just was, and there was nothing Akane could do to change that fact. Now, Akane wasn’t sure that she (herself) was a good friend. But Peko? She had grown so much, and so fast. Someone like her could balance her hidden morals and pregnancy on a whim like that. Peko was... special. If something bad were to happen, then Akane wasn’t sure what she would do.

It wasn’t everyday that Akane appreciated her friends. But there was a definite moment here. She had a future with this people, whether she liked it or not. And with the future still bleak for her, she couldn’t let that happen for Peko or Nekomaru or anyone else.

The clock’s ticking got repetitive fast. She knew she had to check on Peko. She had to, but there was something keeping her glued to the seat. Her heart was moving a mile a minute and she wanted so desperately to get off this ride. She couldn’t...couldn’t.

I should have gone with the girls. Akane thought bitterly, swinging her legs below her chest. Huh. Time sure moved slow sometimes. Was it just her? Or was the clock not moving?

Oh, wait. It moved just a smidge. The hands read...Well...Akane wasn’t that good at reading clocks. She wasn’t really good at a lot of things. Sure, she had skills for weird survival purposes, but not daily life. This kind of thing did not suit her in the slightest.

But here she was, in a hotel lobby, awaiting for hopeful news. Man, wasn’t the father supposed to do this? Why the hell was she so nervous? Akane growled and got up to her feet, at long last. She strutted towards the door with her fist locked and ready to engage with the glass, and then she stopped.

“...Huh?”

“O-Oh...Hello...uh, Owari?” It was Ryota. What was he doing outside the hotel? Akane sighed and prepared for social awkwardness. Without Shohta here, he was surely going to be a weak, little thing.

“Hey, buddy.” Akane went to open the door, letting Ryota step inside the lobby and sigh when the air conditioning hit his body. Thank God for Kazuichi. Akane thought.

“...Do you know where the...snack cakes are?” Man, his voice was so timid that Akane was positive he was terrified of her. She guessed she was sort of flattered. A tall, unpredictable woman with crazy hair and scars all over her body was considered a freak of nature most of the time, and she didn’t have time to mind. He also didn’t know her very well. After all, they never talked.

“In...the pantry. You storin’ them for winter or something?” Akane tried her hardest to crack a joke, but she wasn’t smiling. Ryota wasn’t either.

“Well...no, but...Shohta and I were just gonna…” Ryota looked away. He was worse at holding eye contact than she was!

“Hey, it’s cool. You don’t hafta be afraid of me.” Akane managed a toothy smile. It wasn’t her fault he reminded her of someone.

Ryota gulped loudly. “N-No, don’t get me wrong! I’m not-I would never be a-afraid of you-” it was obvious there was a bit of the fear factor there. Akane didn’t blame him. She was kind of scary. He must have heard stories of when she ran as a despair.

“I know the scars are kinda weird, but I promise I won’t hurt ya! Here, come on…!” Akane pulled herself together as quickly as she used to, and walked over to the pantry next to the kitchen doors. She could sense a breakdown coming much later if she continued to hold in more stress.

“Thank you, but why would I be scared? I’m not! I swear!” Ryota squirmed while he stood, holding his arms to his scrawny chest. Hm, Akane thought. He needs to eat more. There was no meat on his bones in the slightest. Flashbacks of a breaking neighborhood and homeless children filled her vision. She closed her eyes.

“...Miss Owari?” Ryota asked timidly.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m good.” Akane coughed. “Sorry, just…uh...Help yourself with the pantry food and stuff!”

“Well...thank you very much!” Ryota gave her a small grin and hurried into the small cupboard, grabbing several “snack cakes.” It was a good thing there was so many dried goods in there. It was also a good thing Akane didn’t eat as much as she used to.

For a while, Akane dozed off while leaning on the edge of the pantry’s door. The rustling of bags and food came to an end, and Ryota calmly shuffled past her. He looked back, big soulful eyes trying to figure her out. She glanced back, smile coming up empty.

“She...um…” Ryota stammered. “Your friend...the one with grey hair?”

“Peko?” Akane’s heart started to race. “What happened?!”

“Oh, no. She’s f-fine, u-um...don’t worry, okay?” Ryota held up his hands. “But I think the baby is gonna be born...soon?”

“Is...there screaming? And blood?”

“Gosh, I hope not. I’ve never been inside the cottage, s-so…” Ryota turned away from her. “But I think Peko’s okay.”

“Oh, good!” Akane wiped her brow. “Thanks for tellin’ me! All I’ve been doing is sitting here all day.”

“Y-Yeah...people were starting to wonder where you were...The...um…” Ryota paused and took a long breath of courage. “The thing about the snack cakes was a lie.”

“What? Why?!” Akane laughed.

“B-Because everyone was so busy helping out with what t-they could do for Peko, that they sent me down here to get you.” Ryota didn’t look too impressed. Of course he didn’t. While everyone was being useful, he was their little errand boy. It probably didn’t feel too good.

“I could have just gone outside myself, y’know. No need to send for me.” Akane said.

“Y-Yeah, but I was kinda forced into doing it.”

“Huh? Now, that’s funny!”

“No-Not really. He got up in my face about ‘never leaving a man behind’ and all that stuff. I mean, he seems...nice, but…” Ryota shivered. “L-Loud.”

“Uh...what?”

“Your other friend, the big guy? Looks like he benchpresses at least 10 cars a day?”

“Oh…him!” Akane blinked, understanding. “That makes sense...I guess he needed me for something? I mean, I don’t even know what, but-”

“N-No...he just said that he wanted to check in on you.” Ryota admitted. “He said if he did it, then it would be invasive.”

Akane scoffed. “What the hell!? God, Nekomaru had no problem invading my space before? Why now is he being all cowardly?”

“I think he just wanted to see if you were alright, without...disturbing you, I guess.” Ryota mumbled.

“Of course he did. God.” Akane turned her head away to hide the blood that burned in her cheeks.

‘I think it’s kinda sweet.” Ryota began to saunter off towards the front door. “You...You should come out? I think Peko might appreciate it.”

“I...I wouldn’t be able to make her have her baby faster.”

“But...I don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m not too good at convincing people or anything, but…” Ryota stopped at the doorway. “I used to hide away all the time, too. I mean, I’m trying to stop.”

“I’m not..hiding.”

“Shohta took months telling me that life was more than just...animating to perfection.”

“What the hell is animating?”

“O-Oh, I need to show you sometime! It’s amazing, as soon as I get my hands on a flipnote or something-” Ryota stopped his nerdy ramblings, the excitement fading in his eyes. It was like he was an entirely new person! Why get so excited about pieces of paper? “But uh, yeah. I decided that just hiding away wasn’t going to help my situation.”

Akane didn’t answer, and let him talk. Personally, she wasn’t in the mood to get preached at by a toothpick, but she held her tongue. Ryota opened the door and said one thing before he went outside. “I hope you can make that choice, too.”

Akane was left in silence once more. Her cheeks were burning, probably from embarrassment. So everyone knew she was being a wimp all alone in the lobby? Damn it all. If only there was a way that she could be alone without someone interfering. But at the same time…

She knew she had to do something. She had to just get out of that comfort zone that she adored so much. Well, saying that she adored it was too much. Maybe it would be for the best if she just moved. Besides, Peko could give birth any moment now, and all Akane could do was sit there and angst.

In only a few movements, Akane pushed herself over to where the doors sat and swung them open wide. They came back in force and hit her in the butt. She was propelled forward onto the patio flooring, eyebrows furrowed. Akane could make out the faint sound of conversation. Ryota was walking down the pathway, not looking back behind him. The sun was setting. The sky was a perfect mix of dark orange and pink. If it weren’t for her crippling anxiety, then maybe she’d be at peace for once.

Near the poolside was a crowd of her former classmates. They were huddled around each other, talking in hushed tones. Well, everyone except Nekomaru was, anyway. He was just being as boisterous as he usually was. Fuyuhiko was gone, probably because he was subjected to the mess that was happening in his own home.

It was oddly quiet. Akane paused, because she had thought that pregnancy made people scream, not keep their mouths shut. Among the crowd, Ryota saw that she had arrived, and smiled politely at her presence. Akane didn’t smile back.

“What’s...what’s happening…?” Akane asked. Her tongue felt too thick, like it would pop out of her mouth. She was really thirsty, and she felt all sweaty again.

“You have finally arrived, Akane!” Sonia walked towards her and handed her a slice of cake. It was white with little pink flowers on top. Though it smelled nice and everything, Akane didn’t feel the need to eat it.

“Hey, thanks.” Akane said rather lamely. “Is...Peko…?”

  
“The baby hasn’t been born yet, if that is what you were asking.” Sonia pulled Akane’s hand and dragged her to the group. “We thought we would stay close by, just in case!”

“Y-Yeah…” Akane didn’t do anything but lean against one of the patio chairs. She sank into it, letting her body fully relax. She hadn’t realized how tight her body was. She would have asked Nekomaru to do “it” to her if she wasn’t feeling so awkward already. When was the last time he had? Akane let out a dry breath. Well, it wasn’t going to do any good to either of them.

“She’s not even making a sound! That girl’s stone cold, man.” Kazuhichi laughed.

“I wonder what the baby will look like…” Ibuki hummed, “Blonde hair or grey hair?”

Nekomaru’s voice rose above the others. “I’m calling blonde!”

“Hm, what if it is neither of the colors?” Gundham asked.

“Okay, but what if the thing comes out all bald and gross?” Hiyoko gagged.

“All babies come out like that, Hiyoko.” Mahiru said with a sly smile. “Didn’t you?”

“Ew, of course I didn’t!”

  
“Well, I just hope that Peko is gonna be alright.” Shohta sighed. “And thanks, Ryota, for bringing Akane back to us.”

“Yeah, it’s no big deal.” Ryota sat down beside his friend. Akane could feel his stare burn into the side of her head. The frustration was building up the longer she had to see Nekomaru not even glance in her direction. Wasn’t he the one that was concerned for her? Just what in the hell was he thinking?

Well, it wasn’t going to matter now. Peko was going to have a child. It was beyond surreal, but Akane had to prepare for it. There was no way she could screw it up this time.

“Still, it’s strange how quiet she is, don’t you all think?” Nagito was still wearing those dreaded sunglasses and Tommy Bahama shirt.

“It’s...a little weird.” Hajime admitted. “I swear I’m gonna have to go in there to check up-”

  
“No, no, no, Hajime. You don’t want to get all messy, do you?” Teruteru asked.

“Well, n-no! But I need to check on them. I’ll be right back.” Hajime turned and left in the direction of the cottages. He was simply gone from the scene.

“Well, that settles that…” Teruteru then just sat down on the ground. Perhaps he was tired as well.

“Ah, Hajime...Always going off to help his friends.” Nagito sighed dreamily.

“Dude. Stop that.” Kazuichi warned.

“Don’t be creepy, Komaeda!” Ibuki and Nekomaru screamed at the same time. Nagito was almost blown away from the velocity of their shrieks.

“I wasn’t...being creepy. At least, I don’t think I was…” Nagito hummed, and then looked away. Then, he began to waltz away to his own accord, heading to the direction of the hotel lobby.

Ryota asked. “Where is he going?”

“Look, Ryota...telling you about the nature of Nagito Komaeda would take all day.” Shohta whispered.

“Hey, I’ve got some...time.” Ryota smiled, and softly leaned his head against Shohta’s shoulder. They were away from the others. Akane almost raised her head to look at them, but she quickly lost interest. Whatever they were up to was their own business. She didn’t care. She couldn’t care in the slightest.

“P-Perhaps Hajime was right. I am...quite worried! I-I need to…” Sonia muttered, clasping her arms to her chest. “What if something happens?”

“My Dark Lady of The Underworld, gather your courage. The battle has yet to begin, and the demon has yet to draw his sword.” Gundham then put a small, grey hamster in her hands. She giggled in delight while Kazuhici groaned to himself.

“What the fuck does that even mean?”

Sonia, however, was entranced by whatever Gundham meant. After all, she was the only one who truly understood his prowess. “Y-You’re right, Gundham. I will gather my courage!”

Nekomaru jumped in. “Yes, Sonia! I’m sure that Peko is going to power through this like nothing!”

“Quite! Thank you, Nekomaru.” Sonia smiled. The rest of the area had gone quiet. Akane had her knees to her chest, when she felt her weight shift beside her.Ibuki was there looking at her in the eyes, and she was grinning wide and full.

“Heyo, Akane! Aren’t you excited?” she asked.

“I dunno...Whatever I’m feeling, I don’t like it.”

“Ibuki thinks you gotta calm down! You’re all sad and separated...like a lost balloon.”

“I wanna...I wanna talk normally, but…” Akane dropped her head. “Anything could be happening in there-”

“Then why don’t you go in with them yourself?!”

“No, are you kidding me?” Akane wanted to say more, but she just couldn't. When Akane was younger, she had helped deliver a baby. One of her stepmothers had been all alone. Her father was away again. It was a cold night, and a little girl with scraggly hair was the only company in the world to help her mother. From what Akane remembered, it was disgusting and stressful.

Her stepmother wouldn’t stop screaming and biting her hair in frustration. She’d call Akane names and writhe around in the bathtub for what seemed like hours. But Akane did not cry. She did not even waiver. In that world, that was what Akane was born to do. She was born to protect her family.

Satoshi had been born that night. It was raining, and afterwards, she could have sworn she heard music above the baby’s soft coos and her mother’s cries of joy. Akane was nine with blood dripping on her clothes, and she had a little brother whom she was going to protect. She wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him. She wouldn’t.

“Akane?” Ibuki’s voice ran out. “Are you listening to me?”

“...Huh?”

“I’ve been talking for the past five minutes, silly goose!” Ibuki laughed, and Akane faked a smile. Ibuki was only trying to help. Who knew what she was also going through, on the inside. Could someone as joyous as Ibuki Mioda hurt and grieve just as much as Akane? The answer was probably “yes.” Years before any of this had happened, Akane wouldn’t even believe that she had turned into this.  
  
"Yeah. Didn't mean to uh, blank out." Akane said.  
  
For once, Ibuki didn't say anything for a while, and instead tilted her head in question. There must have been something she knew, that Akane didn't.. Otherwise, she would have said a bunch of things by this point. Instead, Ibuki smiled at her wordlessly and nodded. It was over the soft words of her friends and the gentle call of ocean birds, that Akane heard a shrill noise. It tore through the silence, raw and broken and real. It was high-pitched, and something Akane had almost forgotten. Coming from the cottage, was a baby’s cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are officially over 60 Kudos! I just want to thank everyone who clicked on this story, kudos or not. It really means a bunch to me that people are enjoying this! When I first posted, I expected maybe 15 kudos tops? Now look at us go! I guess other people want more of our favorite little gymnast?? Hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you guys think!! ; )


	27. Natsumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane meets the newest member of Jabberwock island, and tries to figure herself out.

  
There was really no time at all to think about the noise. It was a noise that Akane hadn’t heard in a while, perhaps years. Of course, there were the occasional babies in her old town. They would usually become silent within a few days of being born. But now...this was a new person. This was a brand new human being.

Everyone went silent, some smiling and some nearly pulling on their hair from the stress. Akane wasn’t sure how to feel. So she began to stand and walk slowly towards the noise, but then she stopped. No. She couldn’t just barge in there. Peko was probably exhausted. Fuyuhiko deserved time with his...family. That was...almost unreal. His family?

Akane leaned against one of the cottages and breathed in deeply into her nose. The infant was quieter now. It was now gurgling in distress, probably reaching out for someone to hold it and calm it down. Everyone around Akane was simply speechless. Sonia began to grin with watery eyes, flipping her hair back and she went to knock on their door.

Behind Sonia, Akane peered above her shoulder. From what she could see, Peko was okay. She couldn’t make out anything else in the room except for Peko and Mikan, who was by her side patting her hair. Akane backed away.

“Don’t tell me...you’re going in there, Sonia?” Mahiru asked.

“Of course I am not…” Sonia reluctantly closed the door, and leaned against a post. “I was just curious, as many of you probably are.”

“Peko’s okay?” Shohta asked.

“Yeah.” Akane said, ignoring the others’ looks of astonishment that she actually spoke. She blew her hair away from her lips and dragged a hand down her face.

Eventually, the crowd dissipated. Hajime and Mikan had come out, smiling but sweaty all over. Mikan was covered in blood from the bottom half. She smelled disgusting, but there was a humble look of determination on her once timid face. She was making it in life. It was almost a dream come true.

While Akane stood by the post, many of the others would pop in and visit, cooing to each other about how sweet it all was. Now, it wasn’t that Akane didn’t want to see the baby, it was just...it was just…

It was now completely dark. It had been hours after now, and almost everyone had gone to bed. No one really talked to her, except for Ibuki and Ryota earlier in the day. She felt empty. It was one of those days, she guessed. But she couldn’t make herself move, to do anything. Akane could only just stand there and hate herself more and more.

There was a source of laughter coming from the hotel, and then she saw it: Sonia and Gundham were standing by the poolside, talking about something. It was an odd sight, seeing Gundham so relaxed and at peace with another person around. He was smiling like a regular boy, joking along with whatever Sonia was telling him.

Then, she leaned forward, and pulled him into a steady rhythm. He gradually joined her pace. Akane realized that they weren’t just moving strangely, but that they were dancing. It was rather nice to see, even if it looked rather boring. Each movement was precise, carefully orchestrated by Sonia. She must have danced a lot as a princess, or maybe she was better than Hiyoko. Eventually, their waltz lulled to a gentle stop. Sonia took her hand and placed it on Gundham’s cheek, and then...she pressed her lips to his-

Akane looked away. Her cheeks were burning too furiously, and there was a hot feeling of shame rising within her gut. That was wrong. She shouldn’t have watched them. But it looked so sweet, and nice, and tempting. That was the worst thing that Akane never wanted to admit. That ache, that ache that she had felt for about two years now, was here again. It hurt so badly, nearly dragging her heart into her stomach.

Akane felt the sweat dripping down her forehead, not daring to look back at Sonia and Gundham. They were having their own moment. They didn’t deserve to have Akane spying on them like some kind of weird, old hermit that craved affection.

Wait. Affection? She...didn’t want that, did she? Akane was positive she didn’t. She mostly didn’t deserve such a thing. It wasn’t like her to be coddled.

It was all a mess. It was just a whole, big, mess of a situation. Her cheeks were still warm. She felt too open. If someone would talk to her now, it was likely she would burst into tears. It was just the way she was right now. Nothing could change this, no matter how much Akane wanted a different ending.

What...would it be like to be in love?

Romantic love existed for other people. Akane thought it almost funny, to think she was just longing for someone to just hold her. Just what the hell was wrong with her? What happened with the Akane that wouldn’t take “no” for an answer? What happened to the Akane that didn’t listen to others? That shoved food down her throat and won every gymnastics competition that ever existed? What happened to that girl?

Since that day on the beach, things had been different. Since she created the pyramids, nothing was the same. Before, there had been hope for Akane Owari. There was contentment in knowing that she had at least something of a future. Now, with everything bleak, there was a baby. The people around her were trying to change. Why was she any different?

She had feelings, but she wasn’t sure what to do with them. She wanted help, but she wasn’t sure how to ask for it. The feeling got stronger and stronger until she eventually had to shove her fist down onto her knees, feeling pain spark. At least her strength had stayed the same. At least that hadn’t been taken away from her, too.

Sighing heavily, Akane straightened her back and looked at the door in front of her. It was Fuyuhiko’s cottage. There was nothing else to do, and no one else was around. There would be unwanted attention to herself. She wasn’t in the mood to be chatty.

Still, she couldn’t resist knocking on the door. There were precisely three, small knocks before a quiet “come in” was heard through the door. Akane gathered her strength and pulled herself together. Inside the room was dark. There were barely any sound, only the sight of moonlight pouring in through the windows. Fuyuhiko was knelt beside the bed, and Peko was sleeping.

Fuyuhiko and Akane shared an awkward exchange of glances. Fuyihko coughed, trying to ease the silence. “A-Akane, I thought you were never gonna come.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Akane moved slowly toward him and sat down. In Fuyuhiko’s arms, was a small swaddle of cloth. Inside, must have been the baby. It was almost frightening to imagine. Akane felt her hands begin to numb.

“You don’t need to apologize, okay? Akane...this…” Fuyuhiko paused before adjusting his grip on the swaddle.

“This isn’t like how I usually am?”

“...Well, yeah.”

“Fuyuhiko, you don’t even need to worry! I mean, you’ve got a baby now.” Akane tried to force her lips to smile. There was only anxiety there.

“Jesus, don’t remind me. I’m just starting to get used to it.” Fuyuhiko looked down at his arms. The infant was asleep, she guessed.

“How’s Peko?” Akane asked.

“She’s passed out, but she’s good.” Fuyuhiko smiled softly. “I’m proud of her. She was amazing.”

“Man, I’m glad.”

“You must have been worried just as much as I was. You two are like, best friends or some shit.” Fuyuhiko shook his head.

“Well, I…” How many best friends could you have before they all ran out? Akane guessed that maybe, Peko really was a best friend to her in many ways…

“She talks about you all the fucking time.” Fuyuhiko sighed. “And also, giving up the swearing is gonna suck...with being a dad and all.”

Akane raised her head. “All the time? Why?”

  
Fuyuhiko clicked his tongue. “Eh, I dunno. Peko’s way more talkative now than she’s ever been. I-I think you have something to do with it, don’t you?”

“I do?” Akane thought about it. “Oh! The Normal Lessons.”

“Right, that’s what those things are called. Whatever you guys do in those, it helped her a lot.” Fuyuhiko muttered. “I don’t even remember the last time she called me ‘young master.’”

“Yeah, I’m proud of her, too.” Akane couldn’t help but be proud, but there was still a lingering halt that kept her there in place. While everyone kept going up, Akane had only gotten worse. Maybe the Normal Lessons were excellent at helping others, just not herself?

“So...um...thanks, Akane.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. No problem, Fuyu.”

There was a stop in the conversation, as Peko stirred in bed. She was asleep, her face strained and pale. There must have been a lack of blood, no doubt. It was a miracle they all had Mikan here with them. If she wasn’t...then what would even happen to people like Nekomaru or Peko? Even Nagito wouldn’t be able to get his medication if it wasn’t for her.

While the room was still once again, Akane took the moment to observe. Back then, Akane wouldn't take the time at all to look at her surroundings. Being self consumed could do that. Now, it was like a curtain had lifted. Now she could see the moon’s light waver in between the window’s blinds. Now she could see the particles of dust floating in the rays. It was the little things, and never before would she have thought that.

From where Fuyuhiko was sitting, the baby’s head was visible. It had a full head of hair, which was surprising. From what Akane could see, it was white, and it practically shone in the room. Fuyuhiko was smiling, focusing only on his child.

Akane wasn’t going to get used to it. Someone who looked at least 5 years younger than he actually was, was now a dad. His sword wielding, once-bodyguard was the mother. Life was indeed strange.

“Hey,” Akane blurted out. “What’s its name?”

“Huh?”

“The baby...what’s its name?” she asked quieter, ashamed that she had forgotten to ask before.

Fuyuhiko peered up at her through the eyes of a parent. “Natsumi, after my sister.” After he said this, Fuyuhiko looked away. His sister must have been very young when she was killed. She died too quickly to see her brother become a remnant. Perhaps she was lucky.

Akane leaned forward, unable to keep in her excitement. “A girl? Oh, that’s great!”

“She’s a very small baby.” Fuyuhiko said.

Akane grumbleed to herself. “That’s not...good, is it? She’s gotta eat more! That way, she’ll get big and strong like her mom.”

“She must be about six pounds, and she hasn’t been making many noises.” Fuyuhiko took a finger and gently checked the child’s head. “I-I know I shouldn’t worry, but-”

“You’re a dad now, Baby Gangsta. There’s a lot to worry for…” Akane shifted in her seat. Her shirt felt way too tight. If Fuyuhiko wasn't here, then she’d rip it off.

“You’d know, right?” he asked, but Akane tilted her head in response.

“Huh?” she murmured. “What do ya mean?”

“Well…” Fuyuhiko then decided that mentioning it would hurt the girl more. He changed the subject. “Do you want to hold her?”

“H-Huh?!” Akane’s face was stricken with an emotion that Fuyuhiko could not quite place. Her left eye twitched, and waited for Fuyuhiko to either repeat himself, or ignore her.

“So you don’t want to hold her? That’s fine...I guess. Just thought you’d like to.” Fuyuhiko then got back to sitting with the child in his arms.

“Wait.” Akane breathed out slowly, and outstretched her arms. Her eyes were blazen with a fury for something, and he would have backed off or kicked or out if he didn’t already trust her. There was no way Akane could be mad at him, or Peko, or even the baby. There was something in her head, guilting her.

Fuyuhiko tried to give her a reassuring smile and slowly dipped the baby into Akane’s arms. “Okay, so keep your hand on the back of her...oh?” He didn’t need to tell her twice. She already knew. In fact, she was better at holding babies than he was.

“I...think I got it. Thanks.” Still sitting down, Akane firmly drew the infant to her chest and stayed extremely still. Her eyes were glazen. She was processing it still. In the background, Peko was softly snoring. It was his favorite noise.

“Damn, you’re really good at that. Like, it’s kinda scary how good you are.” Fuyuhiko admitted.

“It comes from back then, yeah.” Akane didn’t take her eyes off of the bundle of blankets. Natsumi Kuzuryu. It was a beautiful name. Even though she was slightly frail, she was beautiful, too. Everything with babies was so tiny. It was too tiny, too fragile. She was something that Akane could have destroyed years ago.

The white hair came in soft tufts across her scalp. The skin was pale and slightly pink around the cheeks and ears. She was almost too light, reminding Akane of just how breakable a baby could be. Her skull, her bones, her fingers. Everything was too light, but she was perfect. Maybe until she would eventually cry and wake up Peko, that is.

“What do you think? She’s really well behaved, for a baby.” Fuyuhiko laughed. “Man, it’s just so fucking crazy, isn’t it? I mean…”

“Yeah. It is.” Akane said. “I’m glad Peko told me.”

“Hm?” Well, he must have not known.

Akane sighed softly. “When we were gonna get Ryota, Peko told me. We had to have a serious talk and stuff.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah. There were some problems, I guess. But she was afraid, I think.” Akane hummed. “I dunno. It’s been so long, y’know?”

“Afraid of telling me?” Fuyuhiko asked, to which Akane nodded. Fuyuhiko growled, though it was quiet. “What the fuck? Don’t tell me it was her code or something like that.”

Akane grinned. “Don’t worry, Baby Daddy. Haven’t you seen how much she’s changed? She loves you, man!”

“Yeah, I guess. I just don’t want her to suffer alone-” Fuyuhiko paused. “Baby Daddy? You fucking with me?”

“‘Baby Gangsta’ doesn’t fit a nice dad. I think you needed the new title!”

“Ugh...Well, just don’t spread it around.” Fuuyhiko groaned, head falling into his hands. For a while, the new silence crept into the room.

Akane kept her hold firm on Natsumi, training her eyes on the tiny face. Carefully, with one hand, Akane reached out and carefully patted her hair. Akane gasped when the baby stirred, and Fuyuhiko smiled wearily.

“If she cries, I’ll kill you.”

“You’ll never kill me, Baby Daddy.” Akane tried to wink, but it resulted in two eyes winking at once. So, she just blinked for a long time. Fuyuhiko snorted. Natsumi then blearily opened her eyes, and looked right at Akane.

“Oh shit. You woke her up, Akane!”

  
“Damn it! Uh…” Akane then tried rocking the baby, and attempted to calm down. The strangest thing about Natsumi’s eyes, was that even in the dark, the eye color was visible. They were a dark, crimson red. Akane had a feeling she was going to take after her mother in a lot of ways other than just that.

Akane didn’t say anything else, except for continue to slowly rock her. Natsumi’s eyes closed eventually, and she fell back into sleep, breathing out through her nose. Akane drew back a shallow breath, and tried not to think about any of them.

When her siblings had been born, each one was birthed in an unsafe place, with dirt and bugs and heat seeping into every wall. Akane got older, which meant learning how each of them worked. She learned why infants made those noises, why they took a while to walk. If her mother was around, she would usually breastfeed. However, most of the time, all her mothers were gone. Akane would have to go out and steal baby formula.

When they would cry because there was no formula to be found, Akane would cry with them. It was sometimes too much. The pain hurt too much, and a little girl that was trying her damnedest to just live was being forced to grow up too fast. She got bigger, and so did they. All four of them survived as long as they did, because they had her.

It was just bullshit.

And she didn’t want to think about how Satoshi was the same weight as Natsumi. She didn't want to think about her own little hands trying to figure out how to hold a child, when she was one. When Natsumi would eventually get older, would Akane remember them?

Well, that was a stupid question. Of course she would. There was no way she could forget; not when she had four graves to remind her of her past sins. When it came to despair, children did not stand a chance.

But there was no despair anymore, was there? Akane wanted to say there wasn’t, but she couldn’t. Not yet. It was hard enough avoiding to look at herself in the mirror every morning, to avoid smashing the glass again. Akane would never forgive herself. She would never, never forgive herself.

But Natsumi was new, and innocent. She wasn’t a ghost that had come to haunt Akane, and she wasn’t a reminder of her own wrongdoings. Natsumi was just a child, and Akane would be one of the people Natsumi would have to see everyday. She couldn’t screw it up this time.

“Akane?” Fuyuhiko’s own voice was unfamiliar. “You’re...You’re crying.”

Fuck. Again? Akane swiped the liquid from her eyes, and chuckled gravely. “Nah, you must have seen my face all wrong! I’m good.” Luckily for her, it was only a few, good tears.

“Owari, listen to me-”

“I’m fine. I...I just want you to be happy.” Akane said. “A-Are you? Are you happy?”

Fuyuhiko stumbled at his words, but then stopped to think. “Yeah, I guess I am. I mean, we all suck, but we’re trying...to start over I guess. That’s good enough for me.”

“Good, good.” Akane slowly stood to her feet, and laid the child in Fuyuhiko’s arms. “Then I want you to make sure that Natsumi’s gonna grow up the luckiest, happiest girl in the entire world!”

“What are you…?”

“Promise it, or else I’m gonna punch your whole house!”

“Yeah, I promise, okay?! Damn.”

Akane then leaned down and looked at the child. “I think you’re gonna be a great dad.” With that, Akane walked over to the door and opened it. The sound of the ocean was heard from across the island. “Well, see ya.”

“W-Wait, Akane-” It was too late. She had already left, and he was stranded with a baby in his arms. The night was quiet again, except or the rustle of Peko’s sheets. She made a soft noise, and then she woke up.

“Wh...What is happening?” she murmured. “Fuyuhiko?”

Then he got up from his seat and sat at the bedside, clasping her hand with his own, while making sure Natsumi stayed close to his heart. “Everything’s good, Peko.”

“Akane...was here?”

“I’m surprised you woke up. She was surprisingly being really quiet this time, y’know?”

“I’m glad she saw her.” Peko closed her eyes again, and squeezed back Fuyuhiko’s hand. He squeezed back, smiling back at her in the darkness.

“Yeah. Me too.”

**...**

  
Akane kicked the wood as she walked. She didn’t care in the slightest if it burned or splintered her feet. She was not fragile, and she could not break right now. If anything, she needed to answer her own questions. She needed to think about something else awful besides her memories. She couldn’t even think about them right now.

So here she was, walking up to Hotel Mirai. Near one of the patio tables, was Sonia sitting by herself, drinking tea she most likely made. Upon seeing the familiar face in the distance, Sonia perked up at once and waved her down.

“Akane, come join me! Let us catch up, as I have not spoken with you in quite some time!”

She was rather pushy. However, it was understandable. Akane did have to tendency to hermit herself away from others these days. “Um, didn’t we talk this morning? At the Baby Party?”

Sonia grinned. “I mean one-on-one time with just you and me. Come, grab a seat!”

There was nothing better to do, so Akane swung a chair over and plopped down into it. She ran a hand through her hair. When was the last time she brushed it? Her mouth tasted gross, and her eyes felt sunken in. Compared to Sonia, who was a walking doll half of the time, Akane must have looked like a real mess.

“Akane...I cannot help but be worried about you.” Sonia said.

“Sonia, you have your own problems-”

  
“Silence! Am I not allowed to care for you, as a friend?” Sonia asked tenderly. Akane knew that she meant it, truly. “Akane, I have known you for so long now. We survived together. I need to know how you are doing!”

Akane bowed her head. “You’re right. Sometimes I forget how long it's been, y’know?” Akane paused for a moment. “Do you remember when you stopped me from-”

“Attacking that poor tree? Of course I remember that!”

Akane laughed weakly. “I was way too crazy back then.”

“But you are...are not the same. Your eyes; they lack the fire that you once had.”

Akane hummed in agreement. That was true. There really had been a downgrade. Either she had gotten wiser or more depressed. It was probably the latter.

“Well, since I’m not drunk all the time, I get…”

“Sad?”

“More than that, b-but it’s really fine, Sonia.”

“Oh, Akane…” Sonia whispered. “You cannot keep saying that. It’s only going to keep hurting you more and more.”

“Since when did ya become my doctor? Look, I’m still me at the end of the day. Why don’t we just leave it at that?” Akane grunted.

“Just please don’t forget about yourself.” Sonia said.

Akane wasn’t truly sure what Sonia said by that, but she nodded and allowed a slightly comfortable silence to fill the poolside. There were no clouds tonight. Every single star was visible in the black sky. It reminded Akane of home.

…Wait.

Quickly, Akane switched to a new topic. “Where'd Gundham go?”

“He...returned to our cottage. He had said that the Devas needed their rest!” Sonia smiled fondly, and then blinked a couple of times. “Huh? How did you know I was with Gundham?”

“Oh, shit.” Akane had been caught red-handed. “I-I just like, thought you two always hang out, so-”

There was a sly smile on Sonia’s lips. “Akane, were you watching us dance?”

With absolute shame, Akane hung her head and mumbled. “Yeah...I mean...I’ve never seen someone dance that good. You’re...a princess and all...so…”

  
“In...Novoselic…” Sonia gathered the words in her mouth, eyebrows held close. “Dancing was a tradition in the Nevermind family. I was trained by the country’s best.”

“You wanted to show Gundham?”

“...Yes, as much as he disagreed with me. Perhaps I will show you all sometime!” The cloud was away from Sonia’s eyes now. She was smiling more genuine than before.

“I would be a terrible dancer, though! Ugh, can you imagine?!” Besides from the flow and grace of Sonia and Gundham, Akane could never even dream of being that gentle.

“Nonsense! Your Ultimate talent was gymnastics. You have a naturally, athletic body. Don’t forget that dancing is athletic.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Akane wasn’t convinced. “I’m just surprised you got Gundham to dance with you. He’s so…”

“I know what you mean. However, I am fully proud of myself! I had been waiting for a moment like that, and it just…happened.” Sonia’s cheeks were now pink. It was nice that she was happy with him, as weird as the guy was.

“So...you two are like lovers now?”

“Wha-?!” Sonia spat out her tea, and it sprayed Akane in the face. “Oh, forgive me! I-I did not mean to be so-”

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Akane giggled.

“But lovers, Akane? My, your vocabulary!”

“Is that a yes?”

“I wouldn’t call us that. Lovers is just...too strong of a word to use. It makes us sound like an affair on a hospital drama.” Sonia pouted, hand drawn to her lips.

“But...you are something?”

“Yes, we are something! It is actually rather reassuring to finally announce it to someone…! He’s rather shy about it. It’s quite sweet.”

Akane sighed, leaning her head on the table. “Man, how does that even work? Like how do you know?”

“Hm?”

“Like...love? I’ve been thinking about all that crap.”

Sonia gasped. “You are in love, Akane?!”

“W-WHAT? No…” Akane blurted. “That’s stupid. I was just wondering what it...felt like, y’know?”

“Why are you wondering that?”

“Looking at you and Gundham, or Peko and Fuyuhiko…” Akane exhaled obnoxiously. “Man, it just...it looks nice. It looks like it would feel good to uh, feel that.”

Sonia gently patted Akane’s hand. “Akane, we all love you. We’re all that we have in this world.”

“Yeah, I know.” Akane shifted in her seat. She was smiling, but her grin was weak and didn’t shine like it always did. Sonia understood. Akane was yearning for something, even if she did not truly know what it was.

“Do you remember the night Peko came back? I was mentioning ideas of you having a crush on Hajime.” Sonia thought back on that night. She had been planning an experiment. Sadly, it failed miserably.

“Ugh, I told you I’m not into him like that!”

“Akane, I was trying to trap you.”

“...Huh?”

“I was trying to solve a question that I had been wondering for a while. I was just using the coward’s way out by using tricks and mind games.” Sonia admitted. She was slightly embarrassed.

“So you knew the whole time?!” Akane scoffed.

“All of us knew that Hajime and Chiaki were…” Sonia shook her head. “You and Hajime are what people would call a ‘rare pair.’ However, I am not sure there is even anyone who-”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Anyway, that night’s plan failed miserably. I believe it is either because I am completely wrong, or you are completely in denial!”

  
“Wh-What are you saying?”

I was trying to-in the heat of the moment- get you to confess your true feelings for someone else!” Sonia cheered. “If you had, that would have been a triumphant moment! But alas, you did not. Stubborn!”

“...Huh?”

“So you do not know?” Sonia squeaked rather quietly. “Wow...I’m sure you would have noticed it by now…or at least, he might have.”

“Sonia, please talk normal for once.” Akane grunted. “I just asked you a question, and now you’re saying you tricked me into saying I’m romantic and shit?”

  
“Ah, Akane! You are completely missing the point!” Sonia screamed into the night. “Oh, hell! I can’t be the one to say it!”

“Why the hell not?!”

“It would ruin the point of a good love story, Akane Owari! You simply do not understand!”

“You’re right! I don’t get it, and I think I’m fine with that. Yeah!” Akane faked a grin and flashed an equally artificial thumbs up.

“Are you sure?” Sonia whispered. “Because I can answer your question now.”

“Wha-? How?” Akane was intrigued once more. Sonia held in her laughter.

“You had asked how to know you are swooned, correct?”

“Swooned? Yeah...I think.”

Sonia waved her finger as if she were teaching a class. “First off, it always starts with the butterflies. Whenever you are around them you’re going to feel this: a tingling sensation in your lower stomach. Of course, it evens out the longer you are with them.”

“Butterflies...got it.”

“Then there is the realization that this person might bring you joy or peace. Everytime you are around them, you want to get closer. Not just physically, but rather you want to know more about them. Their entire presence makes you feel like you can do anything!”

Akane hummed. “Okay…”

“Then there are those classic feelings of ‘I would fight ten dragons for them.’ This is called putting them first, Akane.” Sonia paused. “And also, I think you will just know one day. It’s going to catch up to you. You’ll see.”

“That sounds scary as hell.” Akane groaned. “What if I- What if…” She didn’t continue, because her train of thought had completely stopped.

“When you realize, you are either going to feel like you got shot, or you’re going to be happy.” Sonia said slowly. “I hope it goes easy on you.”

“Um, thanks for telling me and stuff, but…” Akane pulled herself off the table and stretched. “I’ve gotta get to sleep.”

“Leaving so soon, Akane?” Sonia was suspicious. Akane was sure quick about leaving, wasn’t she? Especially after the whole conversation they had just had.

“I just realized how tired I am! You should get to bed too, Sonia!” With that, Akane walked away back to her cottage. No one else was awake. Unknown feelings crept into the back of her mind as she opened her door to the inside. Her cottage wasn’t as messy as it usually was. Perhaps that was a subtle sign of mental stability.  
She kicked a soda can around on the floor and silently wished it was beer instead. Still it was good to have it all gone. It was for the better, Akane supposed. Even if she had the withdrawals, there was that tiny silver lining.

Yawning loudly, Akane prepare to drop to her mattress on the floor, when she saw something small and white sitting by her pillow. It was rectangular, and thin. A letter! It even had the envelope and everything!

Curious, Akane tore up the envelope without a second thought. Inside was a small, green card. Or rather, it was a slip of paper. The words were written with traditional pen ink. It was the fanciest handwriting she had seen in a while. Inside, were the simple words:

_Akane, we need to discuss some delicate matters. Meet me at the ranch tomorrow night. 8:00 PM. Come alone._

_(P.S. I hope you didn’t throw this in the trash before reading it!)_

Akane stared blankly at the mysterious, little note. Then she looked over at the envelope. That too, was blank! No signatures or names necessary! Her heart began to beat louder than she wanted it to. Nervousness crept into her gut. It was telling her no. Whatever this person wanted, it must have not been good, right? Personal matters usually did no one any good.

Akane sighed, turned off the light, and forced herself to go to sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okkk here we go! here's the 27th chapter and yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I have decided to add a chapter once a week now. I now realize how much i updated back then. probs cause i had a lot of chapters...but now only only a few left, i gotta savor each moment. 
> 
> I'm appreciating all the loving comments so thank you very much! you guys are all super sweet! I can't wait to see what you guys think of our girl Natsumi!


	28. A Surprise to No One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane follows where the note takes her, and talks to an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okkkk here we go. for a few of you, this is probably going to be the POINT OF NO RETURN. 
> 
> ...
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy?

  
There wasn’t a way Akane could be relaxed when her mind had been racing all day long. At first, she was considering throwing the note away, because why the hell would she go to the barn at 8:00 PM? That was extremely shady. When she was a waitress, she’d get strange notes all the time. Only these notes would often say more risque things. Just like now, her reaction was to crumble it up and toss it into the trash can as powerful as she could. However, she didn’t throw it away this time. Instead, she had stuffed it into her shirt, just in case. Maybe that “meeting” wouldn’t be shady. If it was, however, she’d punch that person to infinity.

Besides the note, it was a brighter day than yesterday. It had to be because of the baby, that everyone seemed to be in livelier spirits than yesterday. Due to the sunny skies and crisp breeze, Akane could even feel herself to be slightly rejuvenated. While in the dining hall, she even ate as much as she once did. Seeing everyone so happy, and Peko with Natsumi. It really made her smile.

Sometimes, life was good. As long as she didn’t think about the obvious, she would be fine with everyone else. Pushing herself down was only going to make things worse. If she just really tried at making her life better, maybe things could be okay. As long as she didn’t acknowledge the things that made it worse.

To everyone’s surprise, Peko was having no trouble walking around. In fact, it was rather worrying. The girl had to be in pain, did she? For the love of god, she just gave birth the day before. Fuyuhiko was really egging her about it, too. Eventually, he got her to go and sit down somewhere.

Now that the crowd was slowly thinning, people going off into their separate spaces, Akane needed to ask around and find out for herself. Gathering the bowl of rice, Akane moved downstairs and looked around. The smell of ocean salt and sand today was almost obnoxious. Living on a tropical island became surprisingly dull when you weren’t on vacation.

Soon enough, Akane was alone again. There was no one around to ask. Even Komeada was gone, probably at his “day job” at the supermarket. Why the hell did they have jobs anyway? No one could get paid. If she could only guess, it was probably to create a false sense of normalcy in the world they were now confined in.

Bored beyond belief, Akane decided to take a walk. It started out slow, and then turned into a light jog before she reached about a mile away from the hotel. It felt nice to finally spread her wings, if only for a short moment. The feeling of utter freedom, without the need to remember the things she had done, was absolutely breathtaking.

Akane began to run faster and faster, feeling her chest burn faster than it had before. Damn it all! She needed to push past that bump in the road! And so she did. She didn’t listen to her body, running faster and faster than before.

Eventually she rolled to a stop, coming before the ranch yard in all its glory. This was where the note had told her to come, except much later. It wouldn’t hurt to check for traps and stuff like that, right? So Akane set off into the gateway, pushing past the old sign. There was more grass here than before. It swayed gently in the wind. A few bees buzzed around a few flowers that had been planted, probably by Gundham’s hands.

Akane avoided the bees and stepped into the barn. Inside it was...nothing. There were no trap doors, or booby traps or anything of the sort. Akane snorted to herself and leaned against the wall. Was it so unusual for someone to want to talk to her?

Maybe it was how unusual the note was, and how fancy the handwriting appeared. Fancy handwriting was freaking scary. There was that feeling of superiority that seeped through the page, as if it were talking down to her in a language she could not understand.

Hanging her head, Akane decided to give in. Sure, she would go to the barn at 8:00 PM. So what? There was nothing to be afraid of, was there? She sunk to her knees and just sat there, staring at the wall. She couldn’t be worried. Why was she worried?

Then, there were voices. It wasn’t 8:00 yet. Why the hell were people here? Akane held herself close to the wall and drove her chin to her knees. She kept quiet and listened.

“Man, these meetings are really boring now.” This voice was Hiyoko’s.

“W-Well...I invited p-plently of people, Hiyoko! So…” Mikan’s voice rung out.

“Yeah, yeah. Hope they come on time, or else I’m gonna be really mad!”

Hiyoko and Mikan...could it be? The Normal Lessons? Just the name alone stirred something deep in Akane’s heart. She hadn’t been to one in months. In fact, she had practically abandoned them. Peko had a baby now, and Hiyoko and Mikan were all alone? How the hell were they supposed to function as a duo?

Slowly, Akane peered her head out of the doorway. The two of them hadn’t noticed her yet. So far, Hiyoko wasn’t picking on Mikan. In fact, they weren’t really saying at all. Mikan was standing rather cautiously by the fence. While the wind blew her hair, she gazed out at the path. Hiyoko was sitting on the fence, slouched over and playing with her hands.

Staying hidden, Akane pushed herself back inside the barn. A few minutes passed, and no attempt of conversation was heard between the two, except when Hiyoko began to speak.

“The uh, weather is really pretty today!” Akane smiled at that. At least she was trying.

“A-Ah, yes! I agree that it’s refreshing!” Mikan sang.

“Mahiru told me that there is gonna be a storm coming soon. She’s good at that kinda thing.” Hiyoko said.

“H-How are you and Mahiru?”

“None of you business, pi-” Hiyoko stopped herself. “We’re good! Thanks for asking!”

Man, it was an explosion just waiting to happen. Akane sighed and closed her eyes, feeling drowsy. It was so warm and dark. Just the right temperature to…

Akane drifted away into a light nap. When she woke, there were several voices rising up in tandem. Akane almost panicked before she realized where she was. Right. The barn. Akane stood up and cracked her back, and then forcefully shoved the door open. Blinding light hit her right in the face, and Akane stepped back screaming.

“What the he-heck?”

“AAAAH!”

“Ohmygodwhydidyoujustcomeoutnowhere?!”

Several voices rang out around her, and Akane blearily opened her eyes. Around Hiyoko and Mikan were three boys: Gundham, Teruteru, and Nagito. All three of them relaxed once they saw Akane. Hiyoko, however, was fuming.

“What the- Are you stupid, Akane?!”

“Kinda, yeah.” Akane said, scratching her ear.

“Hm. She is humble...a valuable trait for the human kind.” Gundham was more interested in feeding one of his hamsters.

“Well, at least you admit it. N-Now why were you just...spying on us?!” Hiyoko shrieked.

“I wasn’t spyin!” Akane yawned loudly. “I just fell asleep in there!”

“She is telling the truth, Hyoko!” Mikan wailed.

“I wish you’d surprise me more often, Akane- preferably wearing lingerie with whipped cream on top.” Teruteru whispered.

“Wearing what-now?” Akane asked.

“UGH!” Hiyoko groaned. “Mikan, why did you invite these creeps!? I thought this was like, girls only!”

“W-Well...I...um…”

“Mikan thought it would best for strange ones like us to become normal, right?” Nagito chuckled.“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“There’s a lot wrong with you!” Hiyoko growled, while Nagito softly jumped back.

“Strange ones? I thought I was sophisticated.” Teruteru whined.

“So you guys got new members? That’s great!” Akane said. “Too bad I don’t come anymore, right?”

“What do you mean? You’re right there.” Nagito quipped.

Akane grunted with sleep-induced grumpiness. “W-Well, I’m just so busy these days! Like I...gotta get going already!”

“Wi-With all due respect, Akane...I saw you eating uncooked ramen while lying in the pool the other day…” Mikan admitted.

“WHAT? Why would you tell them that?!” Akane yelped.

“I-I’m sorry! I can’t help but become concerned about your health...!”

“Did...she just say uncooked ramen?” Teruteru scoffed with disgust. “Amateur.”

“See what I have to put up with, Akane?!” Hiyoko flipped her lid.

“Why don’t you just leave-like I did?”

“I can’t. I-I promised.” Hiyoko squirmed while she sat on the dirt. 

“Oh...right.” No doubt was Hiyoko talking about Mahiru.

“What were you doing in the barn, Akane?” Nagito was still eerily cheerful. He still carried the same expression as he had with the bomb threat, and the trials, and everything.

“Like I said, I was sleeping. Before that, I was uh, checking for booby traps.” Akane admitted. There was no shame in admitting something like that, right?

“B-Booby traps?!” Teruteru and Mikan said at the same time.

Gundham chuckled gravely. “Hah, you are the same as me. When I venture out in the darkness, I must always check for the dangers that lurk farther in the-”

“O-Okay, cut the crap, Gundham!” Hiyoko snapped. “Akane, you must be really, really dumb if you think there would be Aztec-level booby traps in a barn!” Then, she began to giggle to herself. Clearly she found Akane’s ways of doing things...funny?

“I-I was just making sure! I-” In the heat of the moment, Akane reached into her shirt and pulled out a slip of paper. “Look at this and tell me it doesn’t sound creepy!”

“Booby traps…? Teruteru wondered. “Booby...paper?”

“Insulate fool!” cried Gundham. He didn’t say anything else.

“You stuck paper in between your tits? Good job, Owari!” Hiyoko reached out and snatched the paper away. She began to read it out loud. “Akane, we need to discuss...some delicate matters. Meet me at the barn at 8:00 PM. Come alone.”

“Either she’s getting murdered or getting lucky.” Terueru said.

“D-Don’t say that, Teruteru! I’m sure someone just w-wants to speak with Akane in private!” Mikan cried out.

Gundham rose his head. “Perhaps it is a trap after all. You must come fully equipped, Akane.”

“Fully equipped? Like bring a sword?” Akane asked.

“If you need to. However, my soul power is five thousand times greater than that of a weak sword.” Gundham said. “A human like yourself should be fine with a measly, puny weapon.”

“Swords are awesome, Gundham!” Akane snapped.

“Where are you gonna find a sword here?” Hiyoko groaned. “God, you two are so stupid!”

“H-Hiyoko, please!”

“Okay, but we should talk about the handwriting. It has to be the beautiful calligraphy I have ever seen…” Nagito held the paper with one hand. The other hand was resting on his cheek. “Whoever wrote this must possess artistic talent of some kind. The words are so delicately written, and so fine.”

“What are you? Some kind of handwriting expert?” Akane snorted.

“I wish my own handwriting looked like this. Instead, it’s all convoluted and gross…” Komaeda sighed, and looked at his hand.

“Oh no! He looked at his hand!” Teruteru screamed.

“Whatever! Can I just have my note back now?” Akane sighed and snatched it up from Nagito. She brushed it off and straightened it. He was right, however, This note looked so carefully written. The writing looked more like a font, rather than actual written words.

“You better watch out, Akane! Or maybe, you’d want the company at the barn?” Teruteru growled softly.

“No way I wanna hang out with this person! Artsy people are always painting! There’s no time to fight or anything!” Akane yelled back.

“You are one of the most oblivious humans I know…” Gundham sighed.

“Yeah, don’t be offensive!” Hiyoko said.

Then, Mikan spoke up. “Akane...I think you should go tonight.”

“Me too!” Nagito lifted his head and grinned.

“I was already planning on going. That’s why I checked the barn.” Akane said, and shoved the paper back into her shirt. “But yeah, thanks and stuff.”

“W-Wait, Akane!” But she was already gone, walking away from the barn and towards the hotel. By now, the sun was getting low in the sky. Golden light shone on their clothes and hair.

“Are we gonna talk about her shoving things into her boobs all the time?” Teruteru sighed. There was a small smile on his face.

Hiyoko, however, was not having this conversation. “Not with you, I’m not!”

**...**

  
_7:50 PM._ That’s what the clock said in the hotel’s lobby. Akane stood with her fists to her sides. Everyone was in their own cabins now, or upstairs lamely walking around. She felt a slight pain in her stomach. She knew that there was something big out of this. Her gut was telling her that it could change something.

Change...something? Change what? Change her perspective? Her life?

The longer she stood around and kept this person waiting, the longer she would have to put herself through this torture. So with heavy steps, Akane made her way towards the barnyard.

It was quieter than it had been at daytime. There was something gross about walking alone at night. She was safe now. At least, she thought she was. Nonetheless, it put a strange thought in the back of her mind. What if there was a man behind you?

She turned around. There was no one but herself. She was still alone. Akane huffed to herself with a sad smile. The irony was that in some ways, she would rather be at a smelly, old neighborhood than at a tropical paradise. One she could never leave, and another she could never go back to.

Her feet stopped when she saw the sign in the distance. Picking up the pace, Akane drifted faster towards it. Until she finally halted, she could not find a single person here. Huh? She had to be here at the normal time?

Her nerves started to twist again as she stepped inside the yard. No bees this time, only tiny moths that flew around the old light that hung above the doorway. Creeping ever so softly, Akane leaned forward and peered into the barn. She stepped closer until she was fully submerged. Well, there was absolutely no one here. How disappointing, if not a little relieving.

Sighing to herself and only herself, Akane leaned against the barn door once more. She prepared to get up and get a long sleep, and she turned around to leave-

“AKANE! YOU CAME!”

“AGH! What the hell?!” Akane flew backwards onto the ground and would have broken her neck if it wasn’t for the arm that caught her.

“Shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” Akane looked up in the dark at her savior. It was none other than Nekomaru. She could see his regretful expression in the dark. Akane blinked up at him, trying to put the pieces together.

“It’s fine, man...” Akane paused and dug into her shirt. “Wait. You wrote the letter? Don’t tell me-”

“You put the letter in your shirt?!”

“Yeah? So what? My boobs are great for hiding stuff.” Ignoring Nekomaru’s grumbles of disagreement, Akane snorted and pulled herself up to her feet, shoving herself out of his grasp. “Why the hell were ya trying to act like secretive and shit?”

“Secretive? Why would I mean for it to mean that!? Akane, if you truly know me, you know I’m a horrible liar.”

“I know that! But look at this! So fancy and weird!”

“Fancy and weird? Akane, it’s called being formal!” Nekomaru roared. “Being formal is the best way to write someone a letter!”

“Okay...well, you should have signed your name or something, like how formal people do it?”

“If I had, you wouldn’t have shown up.”

“What? Of course I would!”

“I knew that the enticement of not knowing who wrote you that letter would draw in your curiosity! If I had written my name, you’d assume I’d wanna talk down to you.”

Akane huffed loudly. “Well damn it! Now you’re talking down to me!”

“No, I’m NOT!” Nekomaru shouted back, though his voice did not contain toxin.

“But why is your handwriting so girly?” Akane laughed.

“Again, it’s formal! Formal is the best way to go!”

“Buahaha! If you say so, Nekomaru.”

“I’m not even gonna try and argue with you.” said Nekomaru. “Why don’t we get out of the barn now?” He was right. It was dark and dusty in the barn. In fact, it sort of smelled like old hay and manure, though there were no animals to be seen.

Obediently, Akane moved out into the moonlight. “Okay, but here’s the thing: why the hell would you-” she paused. “What are you wearing?!”

It had to be the best and worst outfit he had ever worn. A red, flimsy polo shirt covered his torso, sprinkled with decals of tropical flowers. Below it, were khaki shorts and sandals.

“What?” he asked innocently. “Nagito had an extra that was way too big. What’s wrong with living in the moment?”

“Well...I mean...it’s just surprising!” Akane began to laugh again. Nekomaru smiled slightly and let her win. He coughed with one hand pressed to his lips, and looked away.

Still, Akane pressed forward. “So, are you going to tell me why you brought me out here?”

“Yes, I was! First off, you’re going to get mad at me, so I suggest you sit down.” As on command, Nekomaru began to sit criss-crossed on the dirt. Akane did the same, but more cautiously.

“Why would I get mad at you?”

“Lots of reasons, probably. Honestly, it’s not going to be easy!”

“What? What’s not gonna be-”

“I’ve noticing you are still hiding away from everyone.” Nekomaru said. “Before you say anything, I know you were active today, but this must be a good day, because you are constantly slacking off.”

Nekomaru was right. She _was_ mad. “What the hell?! You’re just grumpy cause I’m not trainable anymore!”

“Don’t say that! You will always be my athlete!” Nekomaru ended the sentence with a sharp sound, cutting Akane into silence. She looked down, glowering.

“I just...I need time to get used to things. Then, I’ll be okay!”

“No. You won’t if you constantly ignore your problems. You won’t if you just sit inside your room all day and eat trash.” He wasn’t so much mad anymore, as he was stern. She didn’t like that look on him. It was almost too menacing. A spark appeared in his eyes as he looked at her. She didn’t want to admit it, but it seemed like he truly cared.

“It’s...just a bump in the road. I’ll overcome it like I always do.” Akane said.

“Look, I’m just gonna come out and say it…” Nekomaru looked away. “This is about your siblings, isn’t it?”

Akane sucked in a breath and almost coughed. “What’s it to you?”

“Akane, don’t you know that I care for you?!” Nekomaru asked. This time, his eyes were far less frightening. He wore a softer expression. “It is everything to me.”

There was no way a person could truly be this good. Something in her chest seized, and her cheeks felt hot. Suddenly, the conversation between her and Sonia replayed in her head. Over and over again, it played like a broken record. Akane pushed it farther into her mind, until she could see nothing.

“I know it hurts, but something has to change.” he spoke softer than he usually did.

Akane still didn’t respond. She stared blankly at the ground, seeing ants march lazily to their hills. One of them was carrying a piece of leaf. Another was carrying a cracker.  
Nekomaru kept talking. “Did I ever tell you what I did as a remnant of despair?”

Akane looked up at him, eyes weary. Nekomaru spoke carefully this time. “I remember just as much as you do, and it’s strange. It was as if I was in control, but not at the same time.”

“T-That’s how it felt for me, too.” Akane admitted.

“Though I was technically brainwashed, I remember wanting to do the things I did…” His voice was grave, as if he were remembering something gruesome. He closed his eyes. “As a team manager, I had trained dozens of teams and individual athletes throughout my years.”

Akane’s eyes widened. She knew what was coming next.

“I must have had their information still. Their address, everything. To cut it short, I…” Nekomaru pressed a hand to his forehead. “I found every last person I helped build from the ground up-That I put so much time and effort into, and I murdered them in ways I shouldn’t even tell you.”

Akane opened her mouth slightly. “Was that what you remembered the night you came back?”

He nodded. “Mostly I never used weapons, unless the occasional times where I...” He trailed off and focused on the ground.

Akane didn't know what to say. “Hey, are you okay?"

“It’s okay. I have had time to heal.” He exhaled shakily. “And it’s good for me to feel this way. It’s good for me to remember.”

“B-But that’s...horrible.” Akane swallowed heavily.

“I cannot even tell you how I much I hated myself after that!” he laughed weakly.

“You never even showed it, Nekomaru. You could have told me!”

“No, it was fine. I knew what had to be done.” Nekomaru said. “And there wasn’t much I could do but accept that it happened, and accept my fate.”

“Your fate?”

“To die on this island, whenever my time is.” Nekomaru instinctively held a hand to his chest. Akane’s throat hurt from it being so tight. She was having a difficult time breathing normally. It was as if her own time was running out.

“N-No, you can’t talk about that!” Akane snapped.

Nekomaru shook his head gravely. “What good would it do if I didn’t talk about it!? Look Akane, I don’t want to go either, and hopefully with Mikan here-”

  
“She’ll find a cure or something! Your heart will be fixed! It’s gonna be fine!” Akane pressed him, but he didn’t move a single muscle.

“I...I hope so.” Nekomaru didn’t seem convinced. “Still, my point was that it’s not going to help you if you keep shoving the facts aside!”

Akane hung her head. In just a few minutes, she was driven to nothing but melancholia. Though her hand was warm, the rest of her body was freezing cold. The shirt she wore was only just enough in the wind. Even the inside of her body was frigid.

“Believe me, I don’t want you to forget your siblings.There is nothing I want more than for you to remember them. Keep them in your heart forever!” Nekomaru scolded her. Akane felt her lip trembling fiercely.

“I just...When I look up at the sky, I can remember home.” Akane’s lips were tightly pressed. Her eyes felt as if they were holding something back. She couldn’t. Not again. “I remember their faces, and what they would say-”

“You can’t just ignore these feelings, Akane. Believe me, you have to accept that it happened!”

“I want...I want to get better. I just don’t know how.”

“Then let me help you! I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get back on your feet.” Nekomaru smiled warmly.

But it was not right. Why was he like this? Why was he always trying to help her? It would have seemed insincere, if she did not know him already. The problem was that he was too sincere. He was too kind for his own good. People like Akane were only going to bring him down. _Stupid, loud, crude, kind, amazing Nekomaru. Stupid, stupid-_

“I just don’t get it.” she said. Her voice didn’t contain the amount of fire it usually did. Somehow, this shocked Nekomaru. He stared at her with questions in his head.

“You don’t get what?”

“Why do you care this much? You shouldn’t hafta worry this much, you know."

Nekomaru was shot back a couple inches. He blinked a few times, considering his answer. Akane sat still with her heart on fire. Carefully, Nekomaru gave her a small smile. “The day I was bedridden by my heart, that day...That day was important to me.”

“Don’t bring up that day! For crying out loud!” Akane groaned.

“But that was a day I discovered something...that…” Nekomaru seemed to have a hard time putting it together. His words were slower than usual. She could tell he was frightened of something that would reach out and attack him. However, she was not certain what this thing was.

“I had a lot on my mind that day! Originally, I was planning something huge! It was going to be amazing!” Nekomaru exclaimed. “But I guess my heart couldn’t take the stress…!”

Akane squinted her eyes. “Nekomaru, you’re all nervous and sweaty. What the hell are you saying?”

“I-I, uh…” Nekomaru’s eyes widened and he coughed awkwardly. “I was extremely nervous that day for one particular reason. You were...in low spirits, and seeing you like that...I just…had to tell you how much you meant to me.”

“You w-what?” Suddenly, the air got tense. Akane bit her lip so hard it started to bleed. She dug her fingers into the soft earth, taking clumps into her fits and squeezing them hard.

He looked at her right in the eyes, and Akane felt frail for once. For a while, he didn’t say anything at all. Then, Nekomaru threw his hands down and spoke with utmost certainty.  

“I-I had to confess my feelings!"

_...Huh?_

Akane couldn’t blink. Her mind was completely blank. Every possible answer that she could have thought of, every single sentence was now void. She let the dirt go, and it crumbled to the ground. What Sonia had told her must have been true. The feelings she thought she had let go were suddenly back, holding her by the throat.

Nekomaru didn’t notice her shock, only laughing it off, blushing wildly in the cheeks. “Wow! It took me way too long to actually say it!” He looked at her almost shyly, waiting for a response. Instead he got a small, minuscule word that came out so softly, that anyone would be unable to hear it. Nekomaru looked down at her, waiting and waiting.

Akane stood her ground, and said it clearer this time. “...Feelings?"

  
“U-Uh, yeah! Feelings!" Clearly, he was embarrassed at not getting a clear answer.

“Just...why?!” She was almost in a trance. It almost didn’t seem real. He deserved better than her, so why the hell was he still here? Why, why, why, why, why?

“Akane...I…! If I were to tell you, we’d be here all night!” Akane didn’t want to look at his face. Whatever he was planning, he was making the wrong choice. After all she had done, who would want her? He wasn’t supposed to feel this way! He had to be more stupid than she thought he was. She wouldn’t let him. She wouldn't let him fall for some formerly drunken, almost homeless, girl with no sense of social etiquette.

“No, I won’t let you!” she said, and managed to glance upwards at him. Clearly, he was shocked. What else would he be? He had put his heart on the table and she had crushed it. His eye's widened, and he tore his gaze away from her.

“I...I see!” Nekomaru bowed his head. “You don’t have to reciprocate my feelings. I...hadn’t thought of this scenario, but I will respect your wishes.” He slowly got up to his feet, and stood by the fence for a while. Akane couldn’t move. On one hand, she couldn't let his happen, and on the other...she was selfish beyond belief. 

“N-No. Please, don’t go.” Akane muttered. He looked back at her with an ambivalent expression, and she bit the inside of her cheek. 

“It’s fine, Akane! If you want to remain just as friends, I’m not going to object! My duty as your manager is far more important.” Though his smile was sweet, she knew that was not how he truly felt inside. Shakily, she got up to her feet and dragged herself to the fence. His hands were nearly breaking the posts in half, and his eyes were now closed, and she was worried he might cry.

“I-It wasn’t...that I…” Akane swallowed. “It wasn’t that I don’t feel nothing. I-I do, okay? There’s...a lot there.”

Nekomaru was surprised by this. He smiled again. This time it must have been genuine, as Akane based it on how fast her heartbeat was pounding. “Ah! You do?! T-That’s great!"

“I dunno how to say it. I’m sorry, b-but...” Akane held her arms to her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut and lamely laid her head on his chest.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to!” Nekomaru looked down at her. He noticed she was shivering, and he covered her arms with his own.

“But...I want to.” Akane kept her eyes shut and confessed. “Every single time I’m near you, I...I get so gross and weird. There’s this scary feeling that happens every damn time, and I just…!”

“The same was with me..! I knew there must have been something wrong with me, until I realized not too long ago that it was the truth I could not keep avoiding...”

After that, Akane and Nekomaru did not talk for a while. Her heart was still beating faster than it had for a long time. And it wasn't right. She wanted to understand. She needed to know, and he probably did as well. Shutting her eyes tight, Akane opened her mouth. 

“I saw Sonia dancing with Gundham yesterday.” Akane spit out.

“You did? I always thought they made a good couple! They’re strangely alike, don’t you think?”

Akane ignored his comment. “I think...that’s when I knew it. I...I…”

Nekomaru held her closer. Surprisingly, his embrace was gentle. Though, he had been rather affable to her of late. “Ha, what? You want to go to the ball with me? Man, I never pictured you as the dancing type!”

“I don’t k-know, okay?!” Akane looked up at him, and then pushed herself away. There were those feelings again. She just didn’t deserve it. Didn’t need it, didn’t want it-

Nekomaru didn’t respond for a moment, and he attempted to push forward past the wall Akane was building higher and higher. “For the longest time, I thought that the feelings I had were that of a manager. I wanted you to move forward, move past your demons! That’s what managers do, isn’t it?”

“You’re asking the wrong person.” Akane said.

“It is a team manager's duty to build a strong relationship with their athletes. However…” Nekomaru took a deep breath. “You were different. I don’t know what it was about you, Akane, but you were different.”

“Because we...we’re friends? Because we were in the killing game together?” Akane asked.

“It was because, against the odds, I fell in love with you.” he looked down at her again. That face...one so full of affection and pride and one that once could have made her feel invincible. Now it was the complete opposite. It didn’t even help that it was the second time he said it. She couldn’t keep letting him dig this hole for himself.

“Nekomaru..." Akane blinked something out of her eyes. _Love?_ She hadn't even thought of that. It just was hard to believe. I twas absolutely implausible, and she could barely keep her thoughts together. 

He bashfully looked away. "Well, it's true!"

Trying desperately to clear the air, Akane threw her hands to her hair, tearing at the roots. “I haven’t even been there for you the ways you have for me-”

“Bullshit, Akane. Countless times have you been there for me, you just don’t realize.” Nekomaru chided her. “Or maybe you don’t want to think about it, because you’re scared?”

“I’m not scared! I’m...I’m not.” she rebuked him, even if her walls were being broken into. Her breath was shorter than it usually was.

“It’s okay to be scared. I...I was scared, too!” Nekomaru grinned. “But it felt so much better just to confess, to finally get it off my chest."

Akane dug her fingers so deeply into the wood post that she thought she would break them. Her fingernails were starting to hurt. She was straining everything, and her gut was screaming at her to just give in. She needed this. She had longed for this for such a long time, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t let him see this side to her.

Akane was a murderer, and even though he was as well, some deaths were far too grave to ever go back. How could she afford for herself to be happy when she did what she did? She didn't deserve anyone, not Nekomaru, or her siblings, or anyone on this goddamned island.

But...she had to make sure. Akane lifted her head to face him. She closed her fists tightly at her sides. He looked at her with expectancy. Akane took a deep breath. “I want...I want to know what I’m feeling.”

“Okay…” he muttered, and leaned on the fence. The more she looked at him, the more she was considering answers she never knew. Now he was looking over to the direction of the hotel. The warm breeze was gently moving his hair, which he hadn't cut in a while. 

Akane sucked in more air and stepped closer to him, grabbing the front of his shirt with velocity. There she stood right in front of his face. He was shocked, and she could feel the heat creeping into her cheeks more and more and more. “I’ll know...for sure...if you kiss me.”

“W-What?” Nekomaru blushed. Clearly he was also new to this. Could it be possible that Sonia and Peko felt like this constantly around the ones they loved? It bugged her to no end.

“That way...I’ll know if I feel the same!” Akane knew that the longer this went on, the chances of hurting someone got worse and worse. Her gut wouldn’t stop clenching in pain. The urge to scream at the sky got bigger and bigger.

“Right...erm…” Then, he straightened out his back and carefully guided a hand to her waist. Akane felt his touch, and looked away once more, unable to take the feeling in her heart. “Forgive me! I’m not experienced or anything like that.”

“Me neither.” she uttered softly. “I just need to know.”

Nekomaru was right in front of her, but he seemed hesitant, as if he didn’t want to ruin the moment. Trying his hardest not to be rough with her, he gingerly took his empty hand and set it upon her cheek.

“U-Uh…” Akane muttered.

“Y-YEAH, UH….” Nekomaru coughed. “This is how they do it in the movies, don’t they?!”

“I dunno, Nekomaru…I-I haven’t watched many movies!” Akane glanced upwards one more time before she shut her eyes for good. He was just as frightened as she was, only he wasn’t afraid to show it. The weight of his hand got heavier and heavier. She wanted it to stay forever. Carefully, she set her own hand on top of his.

It was a strange moment. The moonlight was incredibly dubious, in that it just barely showed what Nekomaru was thinking. Akane’s lips began to tremble again, and he leaned down to level himself with her height. Then he sighed heavily, as if encouraging himself to just do it already. Akane’s eyes fluttered close and then-

His lips were on her’s. Akane froze up completely, not sure what to do. It was such a strange feeling, and her own heart would not stop beating against his own. However, he carefully held her closer. For a guy who looked so menacing, his lips were surprisingly soft. He treated her so sweetly, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. Akane wanted to hold onto this feeling forever and never let go, but she couldn’t. _She couldn’t, she couldn’t, she couldn’t._

Something in her broke, and she grabbed around him tighter. Neither of them were good at it, but it was the feeling that pulled them together. Before all of this, she hadn't even thought of what a kiss could feel like. She had only seen glimpses on old TV's and the couples already on the island. It seemed so normal, so easy to do. So why? Why did it take so long? A surge of intensity forced her to set her arms around his back. One his hands was now set carefully on the side of her neck. A shiver ran through her body, and she almost forgot how to breathe.

Before the kiss could become deeper, he pulled back. Akane wasn’t sure what to think. She was walking on the moon. She couldn’t hold her breath, and he too, seemed delirious. For a long time, they stood there awkwardly. Akane set a few fingers on her lips, to feel what had once been there. For one moment, she didn’t care if she appeared weak. All that mattered was the momentary feeling of upmost relief. She gripped her fingers into the back of his shirt.

But it came back, as it always did. That atmosphere so filled with what she thought could be “love” was turned into bitterness, and she backed away slowly. Nekomaru noticed this, and looked to her with inquiry.

“Hopefully I wasn’t too terrible was I?”

“U-Uh...not really.”

“Yeah! Wasn’t too bad!” he smiled again, seemingly relieved with the realization. But after she didn’t respond, Nekomaru got a bit closer once more. “But there’s a problem, is there?”

“W-What do you mean?” Akane didn’t want to admit it, but it was true.

“This constant battle you’re having with yourself. It’s only a battle you can fight.”

Akane almost bit her tongue from yelling too loud. “Can you stop talking weird? Please!”

“Getting into a...relationship now would further damage you.” Nekomaru admitted, patting her on the shoulder. “Once you learn how to forgive yourself, or at least move on, I want you to come to me.”

“Nekomaru, wait!” Akane’s anger rose up, but she couldn’t say anything.

“I only want the best for you.” he said softly. “And this is your own journey. I cannot make all your problems vanish just like that.”

“Yeah, so?”

“The longer you keep saying you are weak for just feeling normal emotions, the more you will damage yourself! Please...just try to understand that your feelings are as valid as my own, okay?”

“Hey, I don’t…” Akane bubbled up useless words, but he was right. He only wanted the best for her in the end. He was that kind of person, and it only hurt more.

“You just have to take your time.” Then he leaned down one more time, and kissed her on the forehead. He muttered a small “Good night, Akane” before he jogged down the road, back to the hotel. Akane didn’t try to stop him, as she was still frozen in questions and questions and questions.

She watched until he became a dot in the distance. Akane blinked a couple times to just register what had happened. As much as she wanted to fight him about it, it wasn’t going to work. She knew he was right. She still had her own issues that would hold her back from ever being a balanced human being. Breaking free of her guilt...would it even be a fitting end? Would she even move past herself? Akane let out a shake in the sigh that filled the air, and she sunk down to the ground, hands tangled in her scalp. She almost tore out her hair from the tension. Despite this, the feeling of their kiss remained for the longest time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp...you don't now how many times I revised this cursed chapter LOL. This was a big OOF for me if you know what I mean. I have never written a kiss...before! Like what!! This was so so weird for me, but I hope I nailed it right on the head! Romance, am I right fellas? (internal screaming)
> 
> And also sorry about Akane's lack of decisions. She's very confused about everything rn. You know how it is. But eh don't worry! No bad endings here ; D


	29. Just Like Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane makes her decision, after a trip to the shore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :::''' )) the nostalgia really knows how to hit you like a aluminum bat to the head, doesn't it?? ugh.................gosh i cant believe that our journey is almost over... it's one more chapter, folks!!!!!! :: D hope you enjoy it

Bored. Akane was bored. Then again, this was not necessarily a bad thing. It was good to not lie around and do nothing. No matter how much she had tried convincing herself in the past, it wasn’t going to help her now. At least she was working her body, doing something for the greater good, and not just her own.

Watching Kazuichi work intently, Akane grabbed a nail and set it into place. Without any help in the world, he was hammering away at a worker’s pace. So Akane tried to follow his footsteps, holding several nails in her teeth. She held the hammer away from her, and then struck it down right on the-

“OW!” Akane cried. At once, all the materials that she held were now on the floor.

“Akane, you big clutz!” he seethed, ducking out of the way of a stray nail.

“Whoops.” She had put together a shitty bed one time. Akane guessed she didn’t have enough experience, because she was seriously lacking at the moment.

It wasn’t her idea, but instead Hajime’s. Having a child grow up on the island raised serious questions. Children needed education and structure. If not, the whole system would fall apart. What would become of young Natsumi if she grew up without having such things?

Most said Hajime was a genius, and some cried over having to build a new building smack dab in the middle of the island. It would be small and didn’t look that impressive thus far, but it was the thought that counted. Hajime was trying to live up her name in some way. Nanami Elementary, was its name. Even if Natsumi would grow up as the only child on the island, she would not live uneducated. Hajime was rather proud of this fact. He had declared it twice, to be exact.

Akane’s shift was almost over, and she could feel the sun burning into the back of her neck. She would have gotten a noticeable sunburn, if she weren’t so tanned already. Still, her skin was starting to get irritating. She leaned backwards to twist around and pop her back.

“How much time have we got left?” she asked Kazuichi, who had abandoned the beanie in favor of sporting a short ponytail down to his neck. Not to anyone's surprise, he had redyed it. This time, it was a light blue. Apparently it was the only dye the Future Foundation could find. Some world...she supposed.

“Well, uh-” Kazuichi looked down at his wrist and yelped. “Shit! I forgot my watch!”

  
“Hah! Why don’t we try looking at the sun to see the time?”

“What are you? A sailor? Come on-”

“We uh, we started workin when the sun was far over to that side.” Akane pointed over to the east. “Now it’s about in the middle.”

“Don’t stare at the sun, Akane! You’ll get sunburnt in the eyes!” Ibuki popped up beside them, carrying a hammer.

“Agh! I’m not gonna get sunburnt!” Akane groaned. “I think it’s like, noon or something. That means we stop working soon. Woo!”

“Man, Akane! When did you get so good at this kinda thing?” Kazuichi was probably amazed that she had even a small amount of intelligence in that jock brain of her’s.

“Eh, not good at it. Just…” Akane found the nail’s placement and hit it successfully this time. Without any clocks back home, Akane would usually have to dictate the time her own way, just in case she might have returned after dark. Dark was when the creeps came out. It was more of a forced skill than a hobby. Mostly it was just common sense.

“Ibuki brought a hammer to come and help.” Ibuki sang. “Ibuki joins your party!”  
  
"Where did you even come from?!" Kazuichi screamed, almost falling over.

“Party? Can someone bring food?” Akane yawned.

“Also, I-I think we have enough hammers...” Kazuichi laughed nervously. Ibuki pouted and began to pace in front of them. Her own hairstyle had changed as well. Weirdly enough, she decided to cut her hair. It was just as spiky now, coming from almost every single direction. She claimed she was more “goth-punk” than “scene.” Akane had scratched her ear and asked question after question. What was a goth? What was "scene?" Some kind of cult?

Time moved by quicker than she had expected. Since that night at the ranch, about two weeks had passed. Each moment had been a struggle. Natsumi had a few days of difficulty, Fuyuhiko was losing sleep, and it didn’t help that Akane didn’t know what she was doing anymore. For the last couple of days, Akane had gone by herself to her siblings’ graves. She’d sit there for hours, keeping the boredom and anxiety locked inside.

Nekomaru was right. She needed to stop shutting everyone away, including the deceased that she claimed to love so much. There was no need for that kind of behavior anymore. Akane was 23, soon to be 24. She needed to act her age and grow up already. Right?

But it was difficult. This was not something that could happen overnight. Every single day she could feel herself growing emotionally weaker. She’d find herself thinking softly and bury her head in the pillows. On the other hand, Nekomaru would have told her that she was getting stronger. “True strength was knowing yourself and not being afraid to show it” sounded like something he had to say, but it didn’t check.

How the hell was she supposed to believe that? And how the hell was she going to get over that night? That kiss? The things he told her? Every single night she barely got any sleep. Akane would sit awake, thinking of that. Why would she even ask him? What was there to lose, to gain? Why did she almost give in? Why did he want her?

Changes. That was what needed to happen. So far, she had managed a small dent in her stunted strength complex. Nothing was going to happen at this rate-

“Akane! Hello?! Are you listening?” Ibuki had stopped strutting.

“A-Ah? Yeah?” Akane shook herself out of it.

“Ibuki’s just talking about birthday plans, that’s all.” Kazuichi said. “Would you guys mind making my cake a strawberry one?”

“Silly Soda! Your birthday isn’t until June! I’m WAY too busy with Mikan’s right now, and she won’t even tell me what she wants...” Ibuki sighed and began to walk around the foundation.

“I’ll choose for her, if she wants.” Akane said. “That girl, always worrying about everyone else.”

“You just want to steal her cake!” Kazuichi shouted.

“Nah, I’m way past that stuff. There’s more than enough for all of us, for once.” Akane brushed them off. It was the truth, or at least, she wanted it to be. Sometimes, she’d find herself drooling over delicacies that she so greatly desired, but overall she didn’t find her hunger so blinding, as it was before. Still, there were certain times she could never turn down steak. Who would?

“Yeah, right. Tell that to your stomach later-” Kazuichi was interrupted by a voice in the back. Apparently it was Shohta, holding a large tool case. Behind him were Mahiru, Sonia, and Nagito. They were whispering amongst themselves.

“I see you all are very busy with your work.” noted Shohta, eyeing the scene up and down. He was displeased, still carrying that good Byakuya charm to this day.

“You caught us at the worst time!” Ibuki hummed, twirling back behind the other two. She then dropped her hammer into Sonia’s hand before running off singing to herself.

Kazuichi stammered in deliriousness. “Don’t give us that Dad Glare, Shohta! We were working fine before she came along!”

“Then they started talking about cake.” Akane said.

“Yeah, cake.”

Shohta lowered his head and set down the case. “Anyway, your shifts just ended.” He soundlessly got to work afterwards. Sonia and the others waved in favor. Kazuichi backed off of Sonia, who was there to just do her job. She smiled warmly, but paid him no real attention.

“Hey! Good luck, I guess!” Akane smiled at them, even Nagito, who smiled back. (kind of creepily) Waving goodbye, Kazuichi and Akane walked away from the scene, brushing past some tropical shrubbery. It was a little too quiet, especially with Kazuichi’s hands in his pockets. Clearly, he was holding something in...besides his hands of course.

“I think you’re doin’ real good!” Akane said.

“With the, uh, Sonia stuff?” Kazuichi mumbled. Akane nodded.

“It must be hard, but I can barely tell!”

“Well, thanks. And yeah, it’s hard as fuck sometimes, but…” Kazuichi sighed deeply. “I just gotta accept that Ms. Sonia’s not...y'know, a bachlorette anymore.” Akane guessed he was right. He did have to accept it, even if it made his eyes well up from tears every single morning. it was just what he had to do. Move on, right? Akane hummed a bit. Move...on.

“Hey...I know you can do it, Kazuichi. I’m sure there’s gotta be someone on this island who will love you for who you are!” Akane put a hand on his shoulder. “Is...that how people say it?”

“On this island of 16 people? Most of which are already paired up?” Kazuichi dragged his head back and almost screamed. “Nevermind! No use whining about it.”

“Yeah, that’s more like it! Charge into dating or whatever straight on!”

Kazuichi blushed and ran a hand through his hair. “Man, Akane, you are some woman.”

“Yeah, I am a woman! Thanks!” Akane smiled. Clearly she didn’t get his vibe.

Sighing with exasperation, Kazuichi grinned and started to walk back to the hotel. “I-I’ll see you later!” Akane watched as he disappeared slowly over the horizon. With the sun still planted in the middle of the sky, Akane’s feet took her straight to the beach. There were some things she needed to do.

There was no one to be seen. That was good. Dragging herself away to the shore, Akane turned to the four silhouettes on the beach. All of the items she had donned them with had stayed through all these troubling weeks. This was either her friends’, or surprisingly good weather that had kept the graves intact.

Among the sides of the beach were patches of flowers that had grown among the palm trees. It must have been Gundham’s doing, if anyone. There weren’t that many, but they were pretty. Even she could see the beauty in something so small. Akane bent over and plucked a few from the ground. She was sure Gundham wouldn’t notice.

With the flowers in her fist, Akane pushed herself to her knees and stayed for quite a while. There was still a copious amount of sweat building on her forehead. She didn’t want to move, for once. It was rather nice, to sit and feel the water flecked air on her skin, to smell the ocean salt. After a year or two now, that hadn’t even changed a bit.

It was that glimpse of freedom that had taunted her for years now. To be just on the edge of paradise, and to see your home not too far away. Well, there was no use to go home now. All she could do was to keep going. That was what Nekomaru said, and what everyone else believed in. Still, she had her own doubts.

She crept forward only a few inches, and placed one flower on each grave. A pink flower was placed on Chiaki’s. Forcing herself to stay put, Akane closed her eyes and listened to the waves on the naked shore. A couple birds cawed up from the northside. She could do this everyday, and still she would feel miserable. The more she would dwell on them, the more it hurt. But she couldn’t just forget. She couldn’t just forget.

Dragging a hand across her face, Akane leaned a bit closer to the sand, and clasped her hands in front of her eyes. Kneeling her head, she muttered words to only herself and whatever could hear her. She was wishing that somehow, the four of them would be watching her. If only they could forgive her. If only they knew how much it hurt. If only Chiaki lived. If only they weren’t stuck here. If only Natsumi could grow up a normal child. If only, if only, if only-

But she couldn’t keep thinking like that. She knew it had to change, her pessimism. She really was trying, even if it wrecked her to no degree sometimes. She was trying to do what she had to do.

There was a halt in the ocean breeze. It stopped for just a moment, and then became slightly cooler around her face. Akane’s hair whipped around her face and she turned around to see anyone at all, but there was no one there.

She laid her hands to rest, and slowly stood up against the sand. Turning her chin upward, she smelled a smoky aroma drifting down the road. Teruteru must have been cooking again. A deep feeling of nostalgia settled in her gut. Maybe...some things didn’t have to change. Maybe some things could be the same. The same as they were before?

Just as she was about to sit back down, a voice stopped her.

“Akane, what are you doing here?” It was Hajime Hinata, looking just as business-casual as ever. Though his hair was a bit shaggier, he still had the same perplexed expression as he always did in the Neo World Program.

“Oh, Hajime!” she walked to him, and clasped his shoulder firmly. “I haven’t seen you in a while. What’s up?”

“I saw you yesterday evening, though-”

Akane paid him no heed. “Hey, y'know ...I've got a problem with you!”

Hajime internally panicked. “A problem?”

“What’s with this house-building crap? Like I know you’re doin’ it for a good cause and all-”

“Don’t worry. I’m making sure I’m getting shifts next time…” Hajime noted.

“Yeah, well why not just make a school out of one of the cottages? Lotsa people live in pairs now, and-”

“Wouldn’t that look kind of tacky, though? I just figured making a new building would be the right touch.” he said bluntly.

Akane shook her head grimly. “Who knows? You’re the genius here. Not me.”

Hajime simply shook his head. “Yeah, right.”

Akane blew a strand of hair from her eye, and knelt against the sand once more. “So why’re you here, Hajime? I mean, I never really see you around much.”

Without a proper answer, he raised his hand closer to Akane’s eyes. In his fingers was a small fistful of flowers. The same as her own. Akane nodded and looked away, giving Hajime a friendly grin.

“It’s been a while.” he said again. On days like these, the familiar voice of Izuru could still be heard within Hajime’s own. A chill ran down Akane’s spine. Some things were better off not being remembered, but the memory was still too strong.

_Akane had stood on a crumbling skyscraper. For many reasons, she did not pay any heed to the smoke rising from the cracks in the pavement. The building must have gone down for miles at least, and she could still hear the rumbling down below. With the sky red as blood, Akane peered into the distance and saw a familiar shape standing a few yards away._

_Down below her building, Izuru Kamakura stood by himself. By god, his hair was long. It was twirling behind him in the wind, but besides that, there was no movement to be found. She kept staring, overwhelmed by his sudden appearance._

_Akane didn’t turn her head. She knew who Kamakura was. She knew what he stood for. A seemingly normal and boring student that had become the symbol of hope itself. Her fingers clenched as she felt the dirt settle between her palms. She wanted to scream across the way; “Look at me, look at me, look at me-”_

_It was in the flash of an eye blinking, that his head turned to face her. He could have been the size of an ant by this point, but she could see one red eye look right back at her. Even when nothing could bring shock to Akane any longer, that stare alone could chill her to her very bones._

“Hey, Akane…?” Hajime’s voice broke through to her again, and she blinked several times at him.

Back to reality, back to reality. She thought over and over in a mantra. It wasn’t much better that she ended up here. But at the same time, it was miles better than standing upon a crumbling building. In that stance, there was no such thing as fear. Akane had known how to climb her whole life, but it was just different.

Perhaps it was the utter destruction down below; the red sky. She hadn’t had to deal with that before all of this.

She felt Hajime’s shape dip in beside her. He wasn’t wearing his usual dress pants, and his tie wasn’t anywhere to be seen. His hair grew faster now, and he had to cut it more often than before. Akane had once seen him panic when his hair had grown a little over 10 inches below his ears. It was understandable, if not a bit neurotic.

“Sorry. I kinda blanked out.” she said, finally.

“You were thinking of Kamakura?” Hajime was not surprised.

“Freakin’ psychic.” she scoffed.

“I try to control him, you know. Sometimes he cooperates more than usual. Other times, he’s just…”

Seeing uncertainty cloud his eyes, Akane smiled her best grin. “Well, you’re doin’ a real good job, I think!”

“It just...gets so hard.”

“Hajime, I know he won’t come back.” Akane firmly placed a hand on his shoulder. “Because if he does, then I’ll show him something special.” At once, Akane brought out a fist.

“Hey, thanks.” he said, though it might have been sarcasm. She couldn’t hear Kamakura’s voice as Hajime carefully smiled back. Then, he began to think about something entirely different. “Wait...remember that one time? When, uh…”

Akane tilted her head. “Real or fake Jabberwock?”

  
“Real. Last year...When Kazuichi and I figured out how to bring them back?”

“I was lying on the top of the market?”

  
“Yeah! And then you jumped down to me, and I almost fell?”

Akane nodded with a small grin. “Yeah. I remember that. Then you hugged me.”

Slightly embarrassed, Hajime looked away. “Well...yeah. I must have been a real softie or something, sorry.”

“No. That was...the first time someone hugged me. I mean, someone my age.” Akane settled her head between her knees. It hurt to admit it, but it hurt more to say nothing at all.

“You’re kidding me…” Hajime was astonished, naturally.

“Nah. I guess I never really...wanted that sort of thing before.” Again, her heart began to beat again. She couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then again, before she hadn’t thought of anything except when her next meal could be. It was constant survival mode, and being out of it...was abnormal. It was absolutely alien.

Hajime set a palm against his cheek. She could see the gleam of his one, red eye. It was rather inconspicuous all by itself. “It’s a long time ago now. I mean, the progress we’ve made? It’s incredible.”

“Progress?”

“Mikan’s confidence, Hiyoko’s new leaf, Peko’s...baby?!” Hajime sat back and laughed to himself. “It’s just too crazy, Owari. It’s just so strange.”

A couple years ago, Akane didn’t even know who Peko Pekoyama was. The girl sat near her in class, but she didn’t care. After all, the only things she did care about was her three loves: fighting, food, and the little ones. That was all life was, was it not? A game of survival? A game of chance? You had to be either prepared or lucky, not both.

“It’s...really weird.” Akane admitted through the lump in her throat.

“And Ryota coming here? And going back one more time? And everything, Akane! Everything changed.” With a hand up to his eyes in a seemingly engrossed state, Hajime’s mouth turned into a crooked smile. She hadn’t seen one like that in quite a long time.

“Remember Monokuma? The Neo-World Program?” Another question from Hajime, and yet the smile still stayed.

“Why’re you smiling about that? Cut it out!” Lightly, Akane slapped the side of his head, like a disappointed mother.

“Hey! I’m just saying that-” Hajime backed away from her, and shielded his head. “I’m just saying that we’re lucky, is all.”

“Gross! Don’t act like Nagito right now!”

“Believe me, it wasn’t his luck that saved us all. Still, the amount of coincidence...." Hajime shook his head in disbelief. "I mean, every single one of us: awake.”

Akane almost wanted to correct him. Almost all of them. _Almost._ A small memory of bumping into a girl with soft clothes and a softer voice. A memory so small that she could almost forget it as soon as it appeared in her mind. “I remember I was so worried.” She finally admitted, lowering her head.

“I was, too.”

“No, but I couldn’t even sleep some of the times, Hajime. After what Junko said in that world, I thought they would never wake up again.”

In a weird way, it was nice to talk about horrible things and even worse people. She understood why Hajime had smiled so freely. Junko had no power over him anymore. She was dead, and she was never coming back. Even if nightmares were an occuring spectacle, they would never come true. Akane would never hear Monokuma’s voice again, or listen to the bells ringing for daytime and nighttime. There would be no body discovery announcements, no blood, no screaming, no death.

It was hope, in a way that had saved them all. But there was also the power of free-will, of selfless sacrifice. It was that feeling of never knowing what might happen, but not stopping for the sake of others. Perseverance. That was a quality that Akane admired, and it was one of Hajime’s strongest traits.

Hajime’s fingers tapped on his naked knee. He was thinking deeply now, barely concentrating on the life around him. Akane just now noticed the green pencil behind his ear. Nowadays Hajime always brought pencils and paper everywhere he went, constantly drawing or sketching out plans or ideas.

“Akane...do you think that the school is a good idea?”

The question came out of left field, frankly. Akane’s mind sputtered. Hajime never asked Akane questions. In fact, wasn’t it the other way around? Hadn't it always been like that?

Still, she answered him bluntly. “Well, yeah! Natsumi’s gotta get smart like her parents somehow.”

“No, I mean…” Hajime looked away. “It’s going to be hard. A child growing up with a bunch of young adults isn’t going to be easy. Out of all the possibilities that I could have predicted, this was not one of them.”

“Well, isn’t the challenge the fun part? And you’re not even the dad, Hajime! It’s okay.”

“That’s not the point.” He cleared his throat. “There’s a reason it’s called ‘Nanami Elementary’, you know.”

Akane’s answers floated around in her head. “I think Chiaki would have liked the idea. Y'know her, class rep or whatever."

“It did seem like her kind of deal.” Hajime said.

“So what’s the issue?”

About now, the sun was starting to settle behind a few, pesky clouds. Hajime squinted it out of his eyes, and he drew a slow breath. “I know it’s redundant by this point, but even if I get over the killing game, she’s just going to keep coming back to me.”

Akane was reluctant on answering this time, as it was growing far more personal. _Screw it_ , she thought as she set her hands into the sand. “It’s the same with my siblings.”

“The same…?”

“It’s hard, and I’m never going to forget.” Akane shut her eyes and remembered small hands and cheerful voices among the grime in her old home. It hurt, but she didn’t care. Her memories of them deserved more. They deserved more, even if they were gone. Were they still around, watching her from another place? If so, what would that place be? Akane had never believed in a god, but for now, she did. If only this once.  
  
Akane said, “But I don’t want to, not anymore.”

“I know, Akane, but what if I’m being sacrilegious?”

“Sacri-what? I just know that you’re doing a good job, okay?” Akane crossed her arms.

“But-”

“I know that Chiaki would be proud of you.” Akane looked at Hajime as she said it, and she could have sworn she saw his heart drop from his chest. He looked down, eyes unblinking. That is, until he stood up against the sand. The wind was growing more impatient, and it played with his hair.

“I hope she would be. I hope.” he repeated, and she went to stand next to him.

“She is. Wherever she is right now, I know she’s cheering you on, Hajime!” With enthusiasm, Akane pushed her fist into the air and cheered. Hajime’s eyes were growing more and more wet and he sniffed away something. Wanting to sieze the moment, Akane pushed herself forward to give Hajime a quick hug. She could barely feel him respond before she pulled back, smiling.

Without saying much at all, Hajime moved forward across the beach before standing next to the road. He looked back several feet back at Akane, ad he smiled once more. It was genuine, and it could have powered an entire city based on how bright it was.

“You’ll come to dinner, right? I heard Teruteru’s making curry again.”

“Sweet! You know I’m coming, Hinata!”

Hajime smiled to himself. “That’s good. I’ll see you all there.” Then, he waved goodbye and walked away from the beach. Once again, Akane was left in silence.

Over the past couple of years, Akane had grown accustomed to the sounds of silence. Before, she had hated the quiet. But now, it gave her an opportunity to think amongst all the insanity in her daily life. Back then, Akane never had a separate thought to herself. It was always survival, food, fighting, danger, and of course; the little ones.

Now she was on a tropical island in front of five graves on a beach. She wouldn’t have been able to guess in her years of attending Hope’s Peak, that she would end up as a feared terrorist. Maybe she would have thought of this information as “cool” or “weird.” Truth is, it wasn’t just weird. It was batshit crazy.

And yet most of them were alive. Even Ryota was here, living as a prisoner as the rest of them. They had dug their graves, and now they had to lie in them. There wasn’t any reason for Akane to return home anymore, and it hurt more than anything in the world. But at the same time, she had reasons to stay alive. She had reasons to live on Jabberwock Island with everyone else.

In a perfect world, Akane would have done something with her talent. She would have become an Olympian, perhaps. Her siblings would get the life they all deserved. Akane would be loaded with money, able to pay for their food and school fees.

But that didn’t happen. There wasn’t much she could do about that. She had tried wallowing in self pity, and all it had done was make her feel worse. Now, she had to change. Even if they were gone, and even if it was her fault, Akane couldn’t keep living like that. Of course, she still needed to remember. If she forgot, so much would be gone. It wouldn’t just be memories. It would her entire livelihood, stripped away in an instant.

Whatever she might do, wherever she might be, her four siblings had to stay within her heart. It was her fault, but she loved them, and she wouldn’t stop for the rest of her life. So she had to move on. She had to let go.

Realizing her legs were wobbling, Akane looked down at the four graves. She could feel wetness brimming up behind her eyes, and she smiled grimly. Akane let the tears fall down her cheeks, and she muttered a few soft words. Some to her siblings, one to Chiaki. Looking up to the sky, she could feel the heat of the sun drying her cheeks. It was strange, however, because she wanted them to keep running down her face. She wanted to cry, like she never had before.

But these were not bitter tears. It was something that she had hidden for so long, that they were doused with relief. She sighed, wiping her fist across her face. It was okay, now. It was going to be alright, a small voice told her over and over. This voice was soft and ghostly, _almost like a-_

 _Wait._ Akane raised her head once more and looked around each side of her. It must have been her own imagination. Whatever it was, it was gone now.

Akane sniffed and turned away. Her smile was still on her lips. Over the past two years, Akane had been through a lot. Each memory dripped of sweet nostalgia, even if it wasn’t that old. She forced herself to say goodbye to the four pyramids, and started to walk down the road.

It was rather nice, to walk by yourself. Hearing nothing but the seagulls and the ocean breeze was almost heavenly, and it was strange how normal it was now. This was her life. This was just something Akane would remember the next day as a small memory, a trinket of nostalgia. It was special.

For once, there was no emptiness within her chest, but there was a longing that hadn’t stopped since that night. She had never stopped to consider what certain people had meant to her. Of course, there was the obvious; Peko was a very close friend. Back then, it seemed impossible. They were two different girls with nothing in common, and clashing personalities. But now...it was just old news.

Hajime, Sonia, Mikan, Fuyuhiko, and the others were her friends. They were all her companions through life, through the hardest trials she had ever had to face. They were all there with her, taking each hit. But what was the difference between a good friend and Nekomaru?

Well, he was still her best friend. She knew that. She didn’t want to alter that. And she knew that he loved her. Based on the ways he would talk to her before, she could see it clearly now. She must have been completely blind or stupid.

She had officially met him twice. Once, at Hope’s Peak Academy, the other in the Neo World Program. Each time was different. Of course, there was always a certain spark that had drawn her to him. She never knew what it was. But even with limited time in the virtual world, she couldn’t deny that what she felt was real. Even if she had never felt something so blatantly magnetic in all of her life.

Now with both eyes open, Akane could barely even walk straight. It was as frightening as it was exciting. There was this buzz deep in her gut, just like how it used to be. It wasn’t hunger, or danger, or anger. It was that same feeling that she had felt on the beach two years ago. It was the same feeling that caused her fist to crash against the palm tree, the same that had kept her awake for countless nights. It was gentle, but harsh and wild all the same. And it was as a shock to her as everyone else.

 _Was Akane in love?_  
  
...

That had to be it! And she had been like this the entire time? For two years?! _Crazy!_ she thought, dragging a hand behind her neck. The hairs there stood straight. She couldn’t keep still, so she started to run faster and faster down the road. Tiny pebbles lodged in her feet, but she didn’t care. And man, did love feel great! It hurt, yeah! But why would that even matter?!

Akane started to circle around the island, searching for any life to be seen. It was a vigorous experience, to feel so light and heavy at the same time. Her steps felt free, but she was grounded. For once, absolutely nothing was on her mind. She became the girl who would run through alleyways and empty streets just to get home. She became the student that would climb Hope’s Peak without a care in the world.

Besides the obvious, blooming feelings lying in her heart, there was also a stranger feeling. This one must have been the one that had orchestrated everything. She had experienced this before; with Natsumi, and with her siblings’ births. This feeling was a bit lighter than love, and it brightened everything around her. From what she could muster, it must have been “joy.”

Not happiness, not contentment, but just joy. Joyful in the sunlight, the progress, the hardships that she had faced. Every single day, she let insecurity eat away at her. Now, there was nothing like that. Sure, the pain in her chest would never go away, the one that came with memories of home, but for now, she was over the moon.

After all this time, she had listened to the little voice in her head. The _tiny_ , timid voice that barely spoke up at all, almost afraid to share its opinion.

Some memories would never fade, and those memories needed to stay with her. At all costs, Akane could not afford to forget what she had done. But with old memories staying, new ones had to come in. And for one person in particular, Akane was going to make these the happiest moments of his life.

As she ran faster and faster, she saw a blip in the open road. She approached, and noticed a familiar face.

Akane began to scream, picking up speed. “HEY!”

“Huh?!”

But he had no time to prepare, as she tackled him head first, sending them both flying to the ground. She fell face first into his shirt, while he let out a loud “OOF.”

Nekomaru groaned with frustration. “Akane?! I was carrying those logs!” He pointed over to the side of the road, where a few chunks of wood laid stranded from the owner.

Akane scratched her neck. “Oh. Sorry.” She tilted her head. “What’re you usin’ them for?”

Nekomaru shielded his eyes from the sunlight. Akane could sense his frustration, but she couldn’t keep still. After all, he wasn’t angry at her. He never was. “Construction work, for the cute, little school house-” Then he stopped and looked at Akane’s cheeks. “WERE YOU CRYING?!”

“Huh?” Akane wiped her cheeks, “Yeah, I was! Weird, huh?!”

“A-ARE YOU OKAY?!” Now he was worried over something Akane had no qualms over in the first place!

“Yeah, of course I am! I just had all these big thoughts, making me feel weird and crap..!”

“What...thoughts?” Nekomaru’s hand was now lying across his left eye.

“W-Well, I-!” She clamped her mouth shut.

“Well, what?!” He laid there on the ground almost lifelessly, his eyes were now closed.

“Well, I...um.” Now that she had actually found him, she wasn’t sure at all what to say. How would she make a confession as beautiful as Nekomaru’s? Absolutely gunning it, of course.

“Akane, I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go! I’m going to be late!” Nekomaru started to get up, but then Akane tugged on the back of his shirt almost enough to yank him back down.

“I did it!” she yelled. “I did it! I figured it all out, Nekomaru!”

“WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

“I finally listened to what you said, okay?! Please, don’t leave yet! I gotta explain!” She puffed out her cheeks, and stared at him right in the eyes.

Obediently, he complied. But obviously, he was bewildered. “I won’t leave! I won’t!”

Now that she had him fully listening, Akane’s cheeks started to burn. She cursed lightly, attempting to compose herself. “But now that I listened to you, my feelings are going freaking AWOL! It’s driving me nuts!”

“Driving you nuts?! What?!”

“Everything! I was just sittin’ there by the beach, and I thought of...things.”

A shadow fell over his face immediately. “Of...your siblings? Akane, I-”

  
“No! It’s okay! It’s alright, Nekomaru.” Upon instinct, Akane’s hands went up to his cheeks and she cupped them both. He paused and gazed intently at her, trying to figure her out.

Akane kept speaking. “It’s always gonna hurt. No matter what I do, it’s never going to go away, but-.” From where she sat, Akane could still feel the build-up of fresh tears that wouldn’t be stopped. She let them fall, and she smiled.

“Akane…” With instinct, he set his own hand on top of her own.

“No. It’s not bad. It’s what I need to do.” Akane could barely see, now with tears in her line of vision. She blinked her eyes, letting out a pent-up laugh.

Slowly, a smile found its way onto Nekomaru’s face. He didn’t say a word, but she could tell that he was feeling nothing but pure, unadulterated pride. Never in her entire life, had someone looked at her like that. At once, Akane’s heart began to double up in speed. This is it, this is it! The little voice called out, waiting to be shushed by her own heavy thoughts. But it never came.

“And I should’ve said so much earlier! I know I needed to, and it’s my fault that everything got screwed up last time-”

  
“Akane, it’s alright!” Nekomaru managed to mumble, but his voice was bizarrely quiet.

“I just! I love you, too!...And stuff!” Akane shut her eyes tight and curled his fists into the cloth of his shirt. A feeling of relief ran down her system, but she felt cold even in the heat of the midday sun. “T-There! I said it back! I-I'm sorry I took this damn long."

There was another silent moment before she hesitantly peered up, and he was staring right back down at her. He was definitely shocked. What else would he be? But that faded away into another kind grin. He seemed ecstatic. “And stuff?!”

“YEAH! And stuff!” Akane murmured. Her eyes were narrowed, but she couldn’t hide her own smile for long. She backed away a bit, giving him room. “Man! I’m stupid for saying it so lat-”

  
Suddenly, she was seized up into the air and cradled to Nekomaru’s chest tightly. Akane screamed against the muffling cloth. “AGH, WHA-”

“Oh, Akane! You said it! I’m s-so!” Due to his excitement, Nekomaru probably didn’t know how tight he was holding her. “I’m so proud of you!”

Despite her spine being probably broken, Akane smiled with the fullest heart she had ever felt. She felt weightless, not unlike melted jello wobbling in the ocean waves.

Eventually, Nekomaru stopped squeezing with a realization that he might have gone too far. He was naturally mortified. “Oh shit! I didn’t mean to hold you THAT tight. I-”

The feeling wouldn’t stop for miles to come. With that affection so dearly in mind, Akane smiled and dashed forward towards his face, attempting to kiss him. However, she only headbut him in the face.

“OW!”

“CRAP!”

They were both pushed backwards, gravity keeping them close to the ground. Akane rubbed at her forehead, and blinked a couple of times. She looked up from where she was sitting, and she heard a familiar noise come through to her ears.

“GAH-HAHA!” He couldn’t stop laughing. Tears came to his eyes as he shook with heavy laughter. Eventually, despite her frustration, Akane started to join in. She leaned into his side as they died laughing together in the middle of a dirt road. The only ones in the world were just them, and Akane was content.

He calmed down, exhaling heavily with a grin. “Did you just try to kiss me?!”

Akane laughed harder now. “Yeah, I totally did!” There was no shame anymore. Though she felt bare, it was the nice kind of bare. It reassured her that yes, she had a home. Home was right here, in the middle of the road in broad daylight. Home was the warm sensation that filled her heart.

“Ha, well I guess we should try again!” With no hesitation, Nekomaru leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss onto her lips. “There!”

Blinking a few times in surprise, she managed to hide the heat racing to her cheeks. Akane tried her best to kiss back, hooking her arms over his neck. Despite the kiss standing in her way, Akane was still laughing. He giggled against her, drawing Akane closer. One of his hands curled into her hair, making her realize how much she should have brushed it.

 _Everything._ She had gone through everything. Akane had lived a life that would leave many people terrified or appalled. Throughout the dreadful nights in her old hometown, to the days struggling to working at three dead-end jobs, to the Killing Game of Jabberwock Island, to the memories of a Remnant of Despair. It was not too long ago, when Akane Owari believed she didn’t deserve anything at all.  
  
And she still didn't. A gift such as a second chance, was something never to be taken lightly. She had learned a special trait about humanity many moons ago. This was, that life was precious. Every moment, was their second chance, their new shot. Akane realized this fully now. By some amount of kindness, luck, fortune, faith, the universe had granted everyone a re-do.   
  
Akane couldn't screw it up. She had the plans, the blue prints, the bodywork. She had hope. Maybe that weird Makoto guy was right. Maybe hope was the only thing a person could truly need.

She couldn’t bring herself to fathom it. In the time being, she was surrounded by warmth, physical and emotional. The sun was brightly shining and gentle on her skin, and he still treated her far more gently than she deserved. For now, she had Nekomaru, and she loved him. She could say it a million times, and the shock would still stay the same. It was almost funny, that it had taken her so long to find out that there was nothing wrong with that. She wasn't weak, and she wasn't a damn coward!

It was silly, so stupid. Laughing again to herself, Akane dug her head into the side of his neck as her eyes welled. She sniffed loudly, a satisfied smile resting upon her face. She hugged him tighter. There was no place she would rather be. The steady beat of his heart let her know that he wasn't leaving her anytime soon. She just had to stay with him, in this moment. He could never leave her now.

“Akane, you've got a little something on your…” he called out, pushing her away slightly. He reached toward her cheek and swiped the tears away.  
  
"I don't care about them, the tears." Akane blinked more drops out of her eyes. "It's good right?!"

He stopped to consider something, and he tilted his head at another angle. He was mystified, if not scared just a bit. "What even happened to you? You're so..."

Instead Akane closed her eyes with modesty, accepting his hand to stay longer than he had meant to. "I don't even know, I don't."

Before she hid away against him again, Nekomaru stopped and looked in front of him. His body went still. His hair even seemed more spiky than usual, as if in distress.

“What are y-” Akane turned her head to face the open road. She blinked out the wetness out of her eyes, before a human shape came into her vision. Slowly and steadily, the shape of long hair, a slim body, and maybe even a bow appeared in the dirt path. Red cheeks, mouth parted halfway into a small smile, leaning away in shock. The girl must have been on her noon stroll, as she always was.  
  
Sonia Nevermind stood by herself, hand on her mouth and flustered beyond all belief. The one thing Akane could think of was one, single question: _How long was she standing there?  How much of that did she hear? Or see?_

"Holy shit." a strange, monotone voice came out of Nekomaru's mouth.   
  
"Hey, Sonia!" Akane burst forward, waving at her with an enthusiastic motion. What was there to be embarrassed about? Well, maybe a few things...Still, it was innocent. It was the way it should have been years before.  
  
Sonia tilted her head upwards, hands falling away from her mouth. Akane could tell that the girl's excitement was unbounding, as she struggled to keep her facade up. Now with a growing, smile, Sonia lunged into the air, landing one, solid fit bump to the clouds.  
  
"Freaking finally!"   
  
When she returned to earth, she started to giggle with a childlike charm. Nekomaru, though muddled beyond belief, started to fall into the rhythm. It was comfortable. it was safe. Akane wasn't back there. There were no bodies no knives, or blood, or murder. There was only laughter, the kind laughter that bubbled your soul with nostalgia. It was pink and beautiful like the growing sunset, resting over the palm leaves that had fallen from the trees.

It was a scrapbook movement, one that would forever stay in her heart. She could feel the comfort settle in her chest and lungs, as she let out a low exhale of air. Through everything and anything, she made it. And Akane thought, _I'm finally home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she did it! hurray! ::: DDD without whatever knowledge of psychology and of the grieving process i have read about, i hope that my writing wasn't forced or anything gross like that. On one hand, I wasn't sure I wanted it to end on a note like this. Definitely not, which is why the NEXT and Last chapter will have a time skip of about Four or Five years. I'm gonna try to wrap everything up in a nice, little bow. Keyword: try.
> 
> So yes, this is a happy ending, in a way. There are still problems to be dealt with, however. Akane is a very complicated character. The way she acts about things is completely different from the rest of the cast. A separated from reality, aloof, gymnast was something I was never planning on writing a 100,000 something fanfiction, but I hope I am writing her well.
> 
> Also I am sorry for the late notice. I have recently started my senior year of high school. Things are crazy and unorganized at the moment, so i haven't had most time if any to sit down and just write dang it! 
> 
> Again, thanks so much for the support. Kudos, hits, bookmarks, and comments. I really, truly appreciate how big my story has gotten. It is truly unbelievable. I was only expecting maybe about 20 to 40 kudos TOPS? But oh my gosh. You guys have supported me so much it is c r a z y. This seems like the note on a last chapter and omg i didnt mean for it to sound like that. AAA im just emotional!
> 
> ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I'll see you next chapter! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


	30. An Island Called Jabberwock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life continues on, as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...here we are. Prepare for the longest chapter I have ever written for anything ever! I'm sorry the wait was like two weeks. This was the only chapter I didn't have backed up somewhere. Not to mention the last chapter for anything is hell to get through. 
> 
> Please enjoy and make sure to read my notes at the end!

  
Miles and miles of ocean. That is what covers the pacific front. Blue sky accompanied by echoing waves, trapped in a perfect harmony for the rest of time. There were no red skies like there were before. The water wasn’t black and tinted with the blood of god knows how many. It was a peaceful, summer day.

Japan was thriving again. The economy was booming from the previous depression, and the world seemed alright. Sure, there were the problems every country had, but it was alright for now. As long as the sky was blue, then what could there be to worry about? The outside world didn’t have to make up for its past. What mattered most was the joy of recovery.

Cities full of smoke, smells from the bakery and butcher shop, people bustling to wherever they needed to be… That was a relic, something that had to be restored once more. Communication with other countries has proven to be a success, as thanks to the efforts of the “Future Foundation,” and their golden boy, “Mr. Makoto Naegi.”

Children born after The Tragedy don’t know until they are told. Most find out in elementary school, from their social studies. It was an event to never forget. Children aren’t sure how to react, most of the time. Their brains are too underdeveloped to properly process the horrors of Junko Enoshima. But what they do know, is that it’s over now. She won’t hurt them anymore.

With old stories come urban legends. Local fishermen warned to stay away from the sea. “If you go too far, you might end up in your own personal hell.” That was what they all would say.

“It’s true, ain’t it?” A child asked a sailor, tying rope to the dock.

“About the island?” The man coughed, voice too gravelly for his unusually young age. “Yeah, it’s true. So?”

  
“W-Well I heard stories, right? Have you…” The little boy looked down for a moment. “Have you been there?”

  
“Are ya kidding me? If I had ended up there, then I might have been eaten alive.”

  
The boy shrieked, “E-Eaten alive?!”

  
“Sure. You’ve heard about the Remnants, have you?”

“Yes, sir. Read about them in school!”

“Whole lot of freaks, is what they are. Honestly I’m not sure why they’re still alive.” The sailor repressed the shiver that runs down his spine. He closed his eyes for just a moment, and remembered smoke and fire. It was all too familiar.

“What...do you think they’re doing…? On that island?”

“Maybe they all killed each other. That would be the happier ending.” The man finished his knot, and stood up tall. He towered over the small child, who stepped back from the intimidation.

“B-But has anybody ever been? What if-”

“Kid, if you’re planning on sailing the damn sea to see a bunch of criminals-”

  
The boy’s cheeks puffed. “No, sir!”

  
“Don’t do it.” The sailor said. “It’s not worth it.”

The boy ignored him. “My uncle almost got killed by one of them! That’s what my momma says…”

“Well, he was lucky.”

“He was in a huge stadium, and he-”

“Kid, I don’t have all day to talk about this. I’ve got work to do, see?” The man gestured to his boat. It was an old, rickety thing, gone through years of wear and tear.

The boy shut his mouth, and bowed quickly. His hair flipped a bit as he did so. “Sir.”

The sailor sighed, and continued to stare the child down. He scratches at his stubble. He needed to shave more often. “I know what you’re thinking. You want to get on that island to see for yourself, don’t you?”

“H-Huh?!”

“All kids do. I got a few this morning asking me the same questions, okay?” The man turned his back and sighed. “It’s not worth it. Unless you want to be skinned alive, it’s not damn worth anything.”

  
Some tales tell of the unlucky being stranded at sea, and waking up on a seemingly deserted shore. That is, until they walk into the trees, that they wish they were all alone. The prisoners there were cruel and evil, and only craved what Junko had made them to crave. All humanity could manage to do was move on, and ignore the Remnants of Despair.

Never forget, never forgive.

It took place on an archipelago of five islands. In the middle, the smallest island of them all. Once a resort open to many, it faltered in the Tragedy. In media, movies, books, Jabberwock Island is referred to as a place of sinners. The grass there doesn’t grow, and there are no fish in the waters. A few of the Remnants have forgotten how to behave like humans, and only burrow themselves underground, waiting for prey.

“An eager child would be fresh meat to a bunch of savages”, their mothers tell them. Their mothers say how much they suffered, how their parents were killed, but the children are too curious. They look at the small boats at the docks, and see an opportunity. The question is though; do they take the chance?

**...**

Sunlight, sand, heat.

She took a heavy breath, and clutched the ground. Eyes closed, she let the noon rays warm her skin.

Sounds of waves, tranquility, life.

There were times when she forgot where she was, only to remember the next moment. There is a small realization of dread, and then comfort in the things she still has. Sure, it’s not perfect, but what is? There’s a lot to be thankful for, is there?

It starts to fade...

  
**...**

 

She was back in a cold house and the windows were shaking from the wind. Outside, a downpour floods the streets of the ghetto. Blinking her eyes to rid the sleep, she began to adjust to the darkness around her. Pellets of rain fell from the cracks in the walls. The house was trembling.

Fear, Family, Bitterness.

She didn’t move, when she felt warmth around her. Heartbeats were felt through their clothes. They were convulsing in terror, bodies almost stiff in response to the storm. She began slowly to realize just how cold it is when she saw the frost on the non-cracked glass. Her mother was in the other room, passed out. Her father wasn’t here.

Akane fumbled awake, rubbing at her eyes. “Urgh...Little ones?” She was not old, maybe 13 or younger. Her ribs are noticeable through her skin.

They didn’t answer, gripping harder onto her shirt. Satoshi mumbled something in response, but she can’t hear him.

“It’s okay. It’s just a storm.” Akane tried to comfort them. “The clouds are just angry at the sky.”

“It’s...loud.” She heard Ume say.

“Cold.” murmured Miki. Haruo held her close to him, as he laid by Akane’s side.

“We only have one blanket, but it’s no-.” Akane said, and the thunder crackled again before she could stand up to her feet.

“A-Akane!” Haruo cried out.

“I know, I know! I’ll be quick.” Akane pushed herself against the thunder, and walked over to the nearest window. Outside, there were leaves were being pushed forward by the wind. Rain splattered on the windowsill, and her cheeks. There was no screen, so Akane pushed the shutters back into place, hoping it would stay.

Around the room were several cardboard boxes, trash of all sorts, and the only blanket they owned. Akane ran to it, and then walked over to the corner of the room, near the mattress.

“How’d this get all the way over there?” Akane knelt down beside them all, schooching in between their tiny bodies. Using the moth-bitten blanket, she threw it over the children. Instantly, they settled into a more peaceful state.

“M...Magic…” Haruo attempted humour. It didn’t work.

Akane took this moment to lean her head back against the wall. They didn’t have a pillow at the moment, but luckily she was a living pillow of her own. Even if she remained cold, they were warmer now. That is what mattered in the ice of the storm outside.

“Akane?” A small voice asked. It must have been Miki.

“Yeah?”

“What did you mean...that the clouds are angry at the sky?”

“Oh…” Akane smiled a little. “Well, they’re just getting into a fight. It’s okay, though. That’s what friends do, right?”

“Friends fight?” Haruo asked.

“Yeah, of course. You and Ume fight all the time!”

“But she’s not my friend! She’s my sister!”

“Hey!” Ume took her fist and punched Haruo in the shoulder.

“Hey, stop it!” Akane hushed them. “Now you’re the ones causing the storm.”

“Yes, be quiet. It’s too loud.” Satoshi said.

“But Big Sis was trying to tell us a story.” Miki whined.

“A story? Not...really. It’s just what I know, okay?” Akane thought about it, and then thought some more. “The sun is out all the time. He thinks he’s the coolest guy in the neighborhood, right?”

“Yeah!”

  
“No!” Akane laughed suddenly. “He’s super lame, but the sky lets him talk all day long.”

“Why does she?”

  
“Hm, because she thinks he’s the greatest guy ever.”

“It’s not worth it!” Ume muttered, fully engaged.

Akane continued, “And the clouds hate that the sky lets him have all the time to himself. That’s why he’s so mad.”

Miki gasped. “Do the clouds love the sky?! Is he sad because she loves the sun?!”

Akane shrugged. “Hadn’t thought of that. Maybe he does.”

  
Haruo stuck out his tongue. “Ew, gross...”

“I hope they get along again…” Ume sighed, falling back into Akane’s chest.

“I hope so, too.” Satoshi yawned, even if he hadn’t really spoken before.

The storm continued for a long time, thought none of them talked. Akane was sure they had all fallen asleep. It was a relief. Perhaps that blanket was enough in the end. Bringing out one hand, she felt the chill of the night bite her skin. Akane found the soft hair of one of her siblings’, and she brushed it with her thumb.

The sky, the clouds, the sun.

Those were her final thoughts before she fell back asleep.

 

**...**

 

“Akane!”

One of her siblings…awake? Akane stirred against the sunlight creeping in through the windows. The voice is so small, so puny.

“Akane, Akane!”

She blinked her eyes open, shielding them with her hand. Her elbow pops. “Little ones?” She called, something small attacking her from the back, running so fast that the two collide. Akane fell forward, face landing into the ground.

Akane pushed herself out of the soft dirt. “W-What?!” And then she realizes.

“Aunt Akane, are you awake yet?!” The voice returned in splendor. It’s different from the ones she used to know so well. This one is younger, more inexperienced, happier.

She was not back there. It was just a memory.

“Agh, hey!” Akane attempted to turn around, but was attacked once again by a small and energetic creature of four years old.

“Aunt Akane, you hafta listen to me!” Natsumi nearly landed in Akane’s lap, bouncing so fast Akane was sure she would have gone to Mars.

“Look, you totally woke me up!” Akane scratched her head and grumbled. Around her was lush greenery sprouting from every direction. She must have fallen asleep in the wilder part of the island. It was far more humid than her dream had been, and the air was tight around her throat.

“Good! You need to get up!”

“Ugh, aren’t you supposed to be at school or something?”

“It’s Saturday, you stupid head!” Natsumi then leaned into Akane’s ear and let out a large gust of air. Akane, being scared shitless, almost jumped to her knees.

“HEY-”

“You weren’t at home, so I went to find you.” Natsumi backed away and collected her arms to her sides. Now that Akane was waking up, she could make up the bright pinks of the girl’s uniform. Covered with freckles and with rosy cheeks, Natsumi swung back and forth. Her white hair was barely long enough to put into a ponytail, but she managed it to sit behind her head. Natsumi’s eyes, red as the brightest ruby, were energized and determined. Sometimes, certain smiles brought back memories of-

“How’d you know I was...here?” Akane grabbed a few leaves and crushed them in her hand. “I mean, how...did I even get here?”

Natsumi cocked her head. “Mama told me you’re like a cat.”

“A...cat?”

“Yeah. I wish I could see a cat! They’re so cute…” Without even answering her, Natsumi sulked and began to think of what it would be like to hold a kitten in her hands.

“...Sure.” All Akane knew about cats were those strays that snuck around near her old home. In some ways, Akane could feel sympathy for such an animal. Clever, lithe, but just as lost as the humans around them. Scrawny and thin as their bones stuck out of their skin.

Dogs had been even worse. They’d fight for food, unrelenting and ferocious. Nothing could stop a hungry dog. In many ways, a young Akane was not unlike a stray. There was nothing that could stop her from grabbing the nearest morsel, the closest bone.

“Ugh, you gotta, umph-” Natsumi pushed hard against Akane’s side. She was dead set on staying on the ground, around the nature. “Get up! Get...UP!”

“I’m not moving, kid!” Akane turned around and deftly picked up the child. Natsumi squirmed around in Akane’s hands, grumbling to herself. “What’re so hyped up about, anyway?”

“It’s my dad’s birthday, stupid!” Natsumi pushed herself out of Akane’s hold, screaming. “I’m giving you a strike for not remembering!”

“Shit... Fuyu’s birthday is today?”

“Strike two for cursing, and if you get a third, I’m gonna punch your boobs!”

“So what? You want me to get him something?” Akane slowly got up to her feet, and stretched her back.

“You didn’t get him something?! Agh, Aunt Akane!” Natsumi placed her head in her hands and let out a childish screech.

“I didn’t even know it was his birthday!” Akane snapped. “H-How was I supposed to-”

“Well, come on! I’ll help you find something for him, okay?” Natsumi grabbed onto her hands and pulled her out of the trees. The scenery went quicker around them, and she tripped. Akane’s foot scraped against the bark of a tree.

“Ow! Slow down kid!”

“Speed up then!”

  
The kid wouldn’t stop. Akane grumbled to herself. What had it been? Four years?

Akane stopped in her tracks, leaving Natsumi to almost fall backwards. “AGH! Aunt Akane-”

Had it really been that long? What was truly significant that happened in that time? At the moment, there really wasn’t anything note of remembering. Well...save for the incident.

“AUNT AKANE!”

“Gah-” Akane coughed. She was surprised the girl liked her at all, almost treating her like a sister half the time. Akane almost wanted to laugh.“What is it?!”

“I thought we were getting Daddy’s presents.”

“He ain’t my Daddy.” Akane rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

“I know that! You’re so annoying when you’re tired!” Natsumi grabbed her tighter and continued walking forward. Eventually, they had made it out of the trees. The sun was even brighter, and it made Akane want to sleep even more.

“So I am making him a super cool drawing. Look!” Natsumi dug into her shirt and pulled out two simple pieces of white paper. On the front of the first one, were three stick figures. The smallest was of course, Natsumi. She also had the cutest outfit out of all of them. On Peko, she barely even tried. There weren’t even any glasses. Fuyuhiko’s eyepatch was too big for his face.

On the second drawing, was everyone else. Only the most prominent parts of their appearances were shown. Shohta was just...fat, Teruteru had weird hair, Mahiru had a camera that was twice her head’s size, and Akane had two circles on where her chest was supposed to be.

“Nice.” Akane said. “Those are my boobs?”

“Yeah! You like it?!”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Akane smiled.

“Thanks! I made that one for you! Also I was making another one as well-”

“Natsumi-”

Natsumi held her tongue and pulled out YET another piece of paper. Akane held the paper in her hand, and only recognized two of the people presented. The rest of the figures were so small, and so many that she wasn’t sure where to even begin. There must have been around 8 of them, not including the first two.

  
“Natsumi, what’s this?”

Natsumi began to heat up, and she looked away. “I-I thought you liked my drawings…”

“I do! I do! I just don’t know what the heck this is. Who are these people?!”

“Why do I gotta keep saying everything over and over!?” Natsumi began to walk down the pathway. Akane noticed that she was taking the path straight to Hotel Mirai. Akane’s gut started to clench uncomfortably.

“Natsumi, I ain’t going in there.”

“Huh? Why not?!” Natsumi turned around, mouth in an “o” shape.

“Look at me.” Akane pointed to her hair, which had leaves and twigs in it. Her eyes were sunken in, and dirt covered her skin. The shirt she was wearing was tattered in the front, and she was wearing pajama pants. For the past couple of nights, she had snuck away out of her cabin to sleep in the nature. It hadn’t done wonders for her skin.

“Mama said you were dirty all the time before I was born. You’ll be fine.”

Akane shrugged, wondering why Peko thought that was good info to share with a four year old. Scratching her ear, Akane gave in and hung her head. What was wrong with her? Usually she didn’t care about small things like that. “Yeah, sure. Lead the way.”

Akane had been missing since 8:00 PM yesterday. Of course, there were some heads that were turned. Quite a few people were shocked to find Akane actually here, in the moment. Akane nodded and waved, although there was an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. In fact, it felt like she had to throw up. What’s worse, was that her lower back was absolutely killing her!

“She lives.” Gundham stood at the far back of an umbrella table. Despite this, his hair was flatter, and his smile was warm.

Mahirui gasped, restocking her camera full of batteries. “Akane, where did you even go?!”

“I was just, um-”

“She was sleeping in the forest!” Natsumi screamed. “Hi, Ms. Mahiru! Hi, Mr. Gundham!”

“Hi, Natsumi!” Mahiru smiled, walking over to her and patting her head. Then she looked at Akane right in the eyes. “Again? Akane, you can’t keep hiding like this.”

“What are you talking about, Mahiru?”

  
“I mean with your mood swings, and your “headaches” that you go to the wilderness to cure or whatever!” Mahiru huffed. “I care about your well being, Owari. You can’t just shut people out.”

  
“That’s not what I’m doing at all!” Akane shrieked. “I promise!” She hadn’t realized. There was no way she could go down that path again, could she? It just couldn’t help that her stomach got tighter and tighter. She was swollen all over, and sometimes it was hard to even walk sometimes.

“Hm....well, nevermind then.” Mahiru was still suspicious, but she backed away to go back to her camera. It had been months since the last shipment, but those batteries worked a charm.

“Okay, Aunt Akane! Follow me, please.” Natsumi snatched her hand again and took her down the pathway to her parents’ cottage.

Akane stopped her there. “Natsumi, this is getting weird.”

“Don’t worry! Mama’s home.”

“Wha-”

With that being said, Natsumi almost kicked the door wide open, making a woman shriek from the inside. “HI, MAMA!”

“N-Natsumi!” Peko came into the open room, carrying a towel over her shoulder. With wet hair, she was half naked, covered in an old t-shirt and nothing else. Her glasses had fogged up, and she couldn’t see anyone.

“Natsumi, I don’t wanna see this crap.” Akane groaned and looked away, eyes avoiding to look at the girl’s...mother. Peko had stayed lean from being a busy mom. Her hair was down to her ears now. She liked to sew, like any stereotypical grandma.

“Akane?” Peko called from the shower’s fog. “Oh, don’t tell me Akane is here.”

Akane shifted uncomfortably. Secondly, there was a dull pain in her stomach, causing her to lurch forward. “Shit, yeah.”

Natsumi absolutely lost it. “STRIKE THREE, STRIKE THREE, STRI-”

“Natsumi Kuzuryu!” Peko’s snapped, grabbing a towel and running towards Natsumi.

“AH! AUNT AKANE, HELP ME!”

Akane was thrown backwards in the crossfire, back hit against the front door. “DAMN IT!”

When Akane had fully regained her composure, she saw Natsumi being swaddled in a towel, close to Peko’s chest. Peko frowned, clicking her tongue. “Have you given Akane a hard time today?”

“N-NO!”

Akane didn’t say anything. She just decided that rolling around on the hard floor would be the perfect plan.

“You need to take a bath, Natsumi. You stink.” Peko then took the swaddled child to the bathroom, while she screamed with terror. There was a plop in the water, and a child’s groan of disappointment. Akane got up to leave and close the door behind her.

“Wait just a moment, Akane.” Peko smiled, her head appearing behind the wall. “Why don’t you sick around for a while?”

“You’re giving your daughter a bath, Peko…”

“It will be quick. Sit down, please.” Peko motioned her hand to a small table in the center of the room. Akane sighed and lumbered over to it. Maybe it was just her, but her feet seemed heavier as they set upon the floor.

Fuyuhiko was nowhere to be seen. In fact, people around the island just did their own things most of the time. Of course, there was the inevitable supper time when everyone would join at the end. It was tedious, when there wasn’t someone to share it with.

Sometimes, it hurt.

Other times, she was just bored out of her mind.

There were some nights, where there was company without the stress of knowing things that she shouldn’t. Years got longer and longer, and the future became weary. There were times when she wished that she could just be a high school student again. A student that never did her work, that trashed the building, that was an irresponsible, selfish girl.

Her hair was shorter now. One night, she couldn’t take the heat any longer, and cut off right above the ears. It had grown back just a bit, but in a way, she rather liked it short. There was no fear that she could tangle it in something, and have it lag behind her.

Akane tapped her fingers on the table. There was another clench in her stomach, and she almost gasped from the sudden urge to vomit. What the hell was with her? It had been like this for the past couple weeks. Dull aches, vomiting, pains in her stomach and feet. She had headaches, she was sleeping constantly. Perhaps Natsumi was right about her being a cat.

Akane forced herself to sleep outside of the comfort of her cabin, to avoid not being able to make it to the toilet. If she threw up in a forest, who the hell would have to clean that up? There must have been a virus going around the island or something, because Akane had enough.

There were also the whispers, the dreams she would have almost every night. The sailor, the siblings, the boats. Every night they were different, but they carried the same message: go out to the beach, go out to the beach, go out to the beach-

“Would you like some tea?” Peko’s voice came out of nowhere.

“Wha-” Akane gulped with a dry throat. “Where’s the little one?”

  
“She’s...getting dressed. It’s a special occasion, you know.” Peko’s eyes were so bright, so friendly when she smiled. She was truly beautiful, and was everything Natsumi could ever need in a mother.

“Fuyu’s birthday? How old is he now?”

“He’s 27.” Peko grinned.

“That old?”

“It’s not old, Akane.” Peko scoffed. “You didn’t even answer my question.”

“Hm?”

“Tea?” Peko held up the tea bag with one, feminine hand. That same hand had wielded swords and aluminum bats. That same hand knew how to murder as well as it did to nurse.

“Sure.” That was a lie. Akane didn’t drink tea.

Peko set off to work with a nod, humming with peacefulness in her presence. Natsumi came through the bathroom door, shoving on a pink sundress.

“Mama, it’s so tight.”

Peko turned around and knelt down beside her daughter. “You tightened it too rough, darling. Here, let me-” Peko retied the hamstrings and and the child instantly sighed with relief.

“Thanks, I was dying in there!” Natsumi dashed to one corner of the room, where she went to her own “bed.” Currently it was a makeshift sleeping bag. Renovations were still being made. She took a bag of marshmallows out from underneath the pillow, and a few strings in the other hand.

“Teruteru was looking for those!” Peko gasped. “Nat-”

“Don’t tell him, please! I needed ‘em for something.” With tact, the girl threw the supplies on the table, right in front of Akane’s hands. “There. Go nuts, Aunt Akane.”

  
“Um, what?”

Natsumi smiled. Her front tooth was missing. She had gone crazy about the tooth fairy, before Komaeda had denied her existence. “Make a necklace!”

“With marshmallows and rubber bands?”

“Yeah! I’m having everyone make necklaces for Daddy!”

“Oh, okay…” Akane grabbed a single band and desperately tried to shove marshmallows onto it, tearing everything apart in the process. “ARGH, it’s rigged! I don’t wan-”

“You’re not doing it right, poopy head!” Natsumi screamed, before receiving a light tap from her mother, who set down the tea. “Sorry, Mama. She’s just not doing it right.”

What was new? Thought Akane as she scrambled her brain just trying to figure something out. Were you supposed to make holes in the marshmallows? Were you supposed to cut the band? Akane didn’t know what to do, so she cut the rubber band with her front teeth, and forced it through the center of a marshmallow’s soft filling.

“Oh, you did it!” Natsumi sighed. “Let me go give the others some!” Without really any warning, Natsumi sprinted out of the room and left with arms full of arts and crafts. Akane was left to sip her tea with Peko. She took a whiff of the drink. It would be rude NOT to taste it.

“What kind?” she asked.

“Ginger tea. It’s rather nice, when you have nausea.”

Akane almost gasped. The crazy bastard knew! She knew! “How did you freaking know I wanted to throw up?”

“You were stumbling over, mumbling that you wanted to...barf.”

“Oh.” How stupid of her to ask. Akane suddenly felt foolish, and she quickly grinned. “So what’s been happening?”

Peko blinked. “Oh. Well, I lured Fuyu away to plan for his party. He’s at the beach now with most of the boys...Except for-”

Akane cheered. “Guys day out, huh? That’s cool.”

“Yes, it is. Other than that, nothing has happened. You did disappear again...last night?” Peko took a quiet sip. The noon sun was shining through the blinds, warming Peko’s grey hair.

“About that-” Akane leaned forward, and then she gasped with a sudden pain. “Shit! Wha the-” It wasn’t her lower half this time. Instead, she pulled out the papers Natsumi had given her. They were folded and in her shirt. One of the sides had stabbed her boob.

“Natsumi likes you a lot.” Peko noted. “You may not think so, but she doesn’t stop talking about you when you are not here.”

  
“I know. She’s really crazy, but…” There was a reminder in her childish grin, a reminder from her past.

“She drew you something again?”

“She drew me two things. One is like, everyone. The other is weird as hell. Can’t even figure it out or nothin.” Akane placed them both on the table.

Within a heartbeat, Peko pointed at the second drawing. “It’s your family.”

“My fami...My family?” Akane tilted her view of the drawing. There were eight small figures. Last time she checked, she only had four siblings.

“Yes. Look at this side.” Peko showed the side of Akane, and four children were by her side. “Two boys, two girls.” The girls were, creatively, wearing dresses. The boys were not. One of them had a baseball cap on his head.

“They’re my siblings, aren’t they?” Akane blinked and looked away. More often than before, the dreams of them became so frequent, that not having dreams was foreign. Throughout the years, Akane had been vocal about what happened. She had told Peko, and Mikan, and Shohta. What had happened had happened, even if she would have dreams telling her of times when she hadn’t harmed them.

“I believe so. Natsumi has asked me about them.” Peko muttered. “She just wants other kids around, I believe. She hangs onto this fantasy where they are here.”

Akane nodded firmly. “What about the other side?” The four children on the left side were all boys, except for one girl. They all remained 2D and flat, standing next to the tallest of the stick figures. This one had the biggest smile.

“I believe she made these up.” Peko said.

“Well, whoever they are-”

The door swung open, and Natsumi stormed in with free hands. “We gotta get the party started, Mama! Hurry up!”

“The party is not until later, Natsumi. Try to calm down.” Peko called out to her. Natsumi huffed and shut the door, stomping cartoonishly to the table.

“But Daddy is gonna-”

“It will be fine.” With one swoop of the arms, Natsumi was sitting in Peko’s lap. Her and Akane shared a look of confusion, before the next voice was heard.

“Hey, those are my drawings…” Natsumi murmured, picking up them both up. “You like them, Mama?”

“They’re beautiful. You did a very good job!” Peko smiled, which in turn made Akane smile back. “But who are these people?” Peko pointed to the four mystery children. Akane leaned on the table, one hand supporting her cheek.

“Oh, those are my friends.” Natsumi said. Peko and Akane shared a glance.

“Your friends?”

“Yeah, Aunt and Uncle’s kids! My friends!” Natsumi was getting increasingly more frustrated.

Akane almost fell out of her calm state. “What the hell? I don’t have any kids.”

Natsumi’s fire shot right back up. “They’re my friends and you’re gonna make them right now!”

“But there’s four of them! That’s crazy!” As much as Akane didn’t know, she did know that having four children out of the blue would be impossible. The thought made her almost want to laugh. Almost. There was that same old question: What if? But that would be...That would be just weird. She wasn’t suited for that kind of role.

“I don’t care! Make them, please!”

“Natsumi!” Peko pulled on her daughter’s ear. “Don’t be rude.”

Natsumi looked down, ashamed. “I said please…”

“Apologize to Akane right now.”

“M-Mama!”

“Natsumi...do it.”

“Hey, it’s cool.” Akane butt in with a small grin. “I don’t mind. I mean, I’m not sure if that’s going to happen, but-”

  
“But it was rude, Akane. She shouldn’t have asked that.” Peko sighed and started to brush the child’s hair.

“What are you doing, Mama…” came the grumble of the youngest. “Aunt Akane said it was fine.”

“You didn’t even dry your hair with the towel.” Once again, Peko was back to her dry sense of style. In some ways, she had stayed the same. Natsumi groaned with annoyance as she was coddled.

Akane got up from her seat, and stood up. “It’s been great, Peko, but-”

“No, wait a moment.” Peko answered her quicker than she had ever done before.

“Uh, what?”

“Natsumi, I heard Ibuki needs help with the balloons. Can y-”

“Yeah, let me go help! Let me go help!” Natsumi squirmed out of her mother’s arms and ran into the door as she was trying to escape. A “slam” echoed throughout the small home. Akane and Peko were left alone.

“Peko, what are you doing?” Akane laid a hand on the bottom of her waist. Man, it just kept getting worse and worse did it? “I gotta uh, go someplace, y’know?”

“Vomiting?”

“Y-Yeah...thanks for the tea, but I don’t think it helped much.” Akane grunted.

A realization crossed Peko’s eyes, and she started to smile. It was probably the most terrifying expression Peko had made. She still didn’t smile that much, even years after everything. It was a foreign moment for a stone-faced woman, and it made Akane nervous.

“What’s up, Peko?”

“Name some other symptoms.”

“Damn, okay.” Akane exhaled softly. “I’ve got this soreness everywhere, y’know? I sleep outside of the hotel because I’m afraid I’m gonna wake up and throw up everywhere or some shit.”

“Wow, that’s a lot.”

“Peko...I think I’m dying.” Akane gulped. Was this how he felt? Apparently, Akane only had a bit of time left. How was she going to spend it?

“You’re not dying, Akane.” To her surprise, the woman started to laugh. Just a bit, she laughed. “I’m not sure how you’re going to take this information, though.”

“As long as I’m not dying, then how bad could it be?”

It was strange how quiet the room became, when you took a child out of it. Peko’s eyes were intense and crimson as they always had been, ever since they had met, and the readiness on her face proved just how prepared she was trying to phrase out two words. Akane tilted her head in question and waited for what seemed like hours.

Within a few seconds, Peko slowly took Akane’s hands and told her the answer.

  
**...**

  
Music, lights, conversation.

There was a cheap looking DJ booth in the corner of the dining hall, complete with even worse karaoke. The others had naturally formed their own groups, talking amongst themselves. Gundham had a rather large crowd around him, as he showed off the newest addition to the Tanaka family: a small, white hamster. Akane could hear Hiyoko’s “AW’s” from all the way from where she sat.

“Look how tiny he it is! Look, Mahiru!” Hiyoko jumped up and down with glee. Even if she was so much older now, Hiyoko would always carry that childlike charm with her.

“It is rather cute…” Mahiru said.

Instead of simply pushing them away with tales of squander and demon hunting, Gundham simply nodded his head in gratitude. Sonia stood beside him, talking with Ryota and Hajime about unimportant topics. Ibuki was blasting sick riffs at the booth, sounding off karaoke for a few others.

Akane realized that she was the only one alone. Why was she even here, anyway? Well, the easy answer was food. There was something else, though. Perhaps she wanted to be in the company of everyone else, despite not knowing what to feel.

At the moment, Natsumi was desperately trying to place a party hat on her father’s head. Recently, his hair had grown in. It was fuzzier than before, no longer shaved. He still wore the eyepatch, not the suits. Honestly, Fuyuhiko was just a dad now. He realized that dads had a certain “dress code.” Simply put, he followed it.

Still, the baby face had never gone away.

“You gotta wear it, Daddy! Just...put it on your head!” Natsumi was one of the only people on the island shorter than Fuyuhiko. She tried to reach up to him, and he leaned down just a bit.

“Aren’t you gonna wear your’s, too?” he asked.

“No...mine is red, and I wanted a pink one, so-”

“Let’s trade then.” Fuyuhiko grabbed the hat that sat on top of his head and placed it onto her own. This particular hat was yellow.

“No! That’s your hat! You can’t just-” Natsumi nearly threw it back, but was stopped by a firm voice.

“Natsumi, we’ll find you a pink hat.”

Subconsciously, Akane felt the top of head and brought the cone down to her eye level. It was somewhat pink, nearly orange in some parts. Sighing with an urge to fix the situation, Akane pushed herself off the wall and strolled over to the bench where they sat.

“Akane, what’s with the silent treatment?” Fuyuhiko asked.

“I haven’t even talked yet.” Akane grunted. She set the hat onto Natsumi, and took the red into her own hands. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Oh, it’s pink! Thank you, Aunt Akane!” Natsumi cheered.

“Yeah, sure.” Akane nodded, feeling a bit weak in the knees, and prepared to walk back.

“Hey, uh…” Fuyuhiko trailed off. His hand was stuck on Natsumi’s shoulder. She was trying to talk to him about something, but his eyes hadn’t left Akane. He seemed to be struggling to find the right words.

Remembering suddenly, Akane dug into her pocket and brought out the monstrosity that Natsumi had ordered her to make. “Here’s your present!”

  
Fuyuhiko was somewhat horrified. “This is the 5th one I’ve gotten. What…?”

Natsumi burst with excitement. “Gotcha, Daddy! It was my idea!”

Fuyuhiko’s face instantly changed. He smiled warmly this time around, balancing the child on his knee. “Hey, thanks! You were always so good at trade.”

“Yeah! I wanna trade stuff, and carry suitcases…”

Akane managed a small chuckle despite her uneasiness. “Just like her dad, right?”

Fuyuhiko gave Akane a playful glare. “I hope you’re joking.”

Natsumi turned her head to look around. “Whadda’ you mean? Are me and dad business buddies?” Suddenly, Fuyuhiko’s eyes widened and he almost spat out his drink.

Sure, explaining to a four year old at her dad’s birthday party that he was the heir of a once-feared yakuza clan would be...unsatisfactory. She would leave that for the parents.

“Yeah, sure.” Fuyuhiko kept a friendly tone as he glared Akane down. All she could do was clench her fists and stare at him right back. Of course, a friendly grin was on her face. She wouldn’t let him win.

The burn of the two drawings rubbed against her breast. Akane sighed with a soft grin, and looked around them. It seemed as if the party was a total success, and it was nice to see everyone having so much fun.

Still, it was surreal. Six years of this.

Yes, that had to be it, right? She had spent at least half a year with the other survivors. Then Mikan woke up, and the others followed behind her. It would take weeks or months for some, but they were all here nonetheless. Well...except Chiaki.

If she had somehow survived, they might have never ended up here, would they? Who knows? It was just the will of the wind, and the greater power behind it. Akane shrugged and dug her hand into a bowl full of cheeseballs. The texture was too crunchy, and her fingers came out orange-blasted.

Akane’s eyes scanned the place for Peko, and she saw a wisp of grey hair in the kitchen's circled window. Her and Teruteru must have been in there, as they were some of the only ones missing from the party. Akane sighed deeply. She had already given the gift. She didn’t want to sing.

Akane just wanted to go to bed, and so she snuck back to her cottage.

 

**...**

 

  
Familiarity, humidity, birthplace.  
  
Akane stood on the rooftop of a broken home. It was her own home. She could recognize that. She could smell the beer, cigars, and unfamiliar, medical smells. There was no sign of food for miles. She hoists herself up to support herself, holding her stomach. Her head was pounding. It just would not stop.

She heard voices downstairs. They were hushed and barely heard above the buzz of the city. She could almost grasp the tangibility of the cars and people uptown. She could barely smell the aroma of the bakeries and butcher shops. She was almost there.

Almost there.

They didn’t know she’s here, do they? The thought alone made Akane turn her head to the sound. Her backside still burned from the brushes of strange hands, of unwanted touches. Her mind wouldn’t let her think of anything else.

The moon was rising above the rain worn roofs. The sky was full of clouds, moreso smog. Akane knelt back down and attempted to loosen the knot in her throat. There was a feeling that never stopped to ask her questions, or to command her.

“Leave behind everything.” said the sea of lights. There wasn’t much keeping her tethered to the roof. But it was strong and hard to ignore.

The little ones. They were still asleep, weren’t they?

But she was so tired. So, so tired. If Akane could remember right, she was barely even twelve years old. She was so young. She couldn’t keep dealing with this. What would happen if she ran away? Where would she even go?

She would find somewhere. She’d get more jobs, and buy an apartment. She’d be normal, just like everyone else. Could twelve year olds be hired? Could she even survive?

Akane stood up against the shingles. Her feet were shaking, trying to grasp onto where she balanced. The longing of civilization floats around. She wanted to grab it, and hold on. She needed to never let go.

“What are you doing?” a voice called out.

Akane turned her head. Her fists tightened.

A six year old stood at the bottom, and Akane realized that she was not up high. Satoshi peered upwards and rubbed at his eyes. Glancing one last look at the city, Akane sighed and hopped back down to the ground. It was rough and covered in pebbles. She winced, and tried to cover her pain.

“What are you doing up so late?” Akane asked.

“I heard something on the roof.” Satoshi said. There was a large t-shirt placed on his body. It was covered in holes.

Akane mumbled in response. “Well, that was me. I was just trying to get a good look-”

“You were gonna leave?”

Akane didn’t answer him at first. “I-I...I wasn’t.”

“It’s okay. I get it.” Satoshi grabbed her hand. He was always so quiet, growing up too fast in the wild world around him. “I saw what happened…”

Akane almost laughed. Nothing like that had happened before. It was a strange sensation, but it wasn’t good. Akane didn’t know much, but she did know that it wasn’t meant to happen. Adults didn’t...do those sorts of things, did they?

But it was normal. She was just overreacting, right? After all, they hadn’t gone too far-

Akane blinked herself out of it. Her brain hurt, but she didn’t give in. “No, Satoshi! I’m okay.” She smiled, though she felt nothing but confusion.

“Akane…” Satoshi’s eyes glistened. He bit his lip and fell forward into her legs. He was too short to reach anything higher up. Akane wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m not going to leave.” And it was the truth. She didn’t need to leave, as much as she craved something safe. What was important were Satoshi and the others. If she would have left, who knows what would have happened? Something...bad? Would the adults have…

She couldn’t even bring herself to think of it.

“I don’t want you to go.” She felt tears drop down her legs to the floor. Akane leant down to cup his face. She put on her toughest expression. She couldn’t show weakness, not yet.

“I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” She wiped away the tears that had started to fall. “You don’t need to cry.”

“I know…” he choked out.

Did he? Akane sighed, and stood up again. She grabbed her little brother’s hand, and looked forward past where two houses ended. At the far end of the alley, there was the brilliant shine of the city lights. She could hear nothing else but that single, miniscule thought.

She couldn’t look away, but she had to.

“Akane?” the voice called once more.

“Huh?” She glanced down and saw Satoshi again. How long had he been there? How long had she been looking for? “H-Hey, sorry. It’s just…”

“The city?”

Akane softly sighed, and looked back once more. “I’ve never been there before.”

“It looks loud.” Satoshi wondered. He began to rub at his eyes again. The kid needed sleep. It was obvious, but Akane couldn’t bring herself to move an inch.

“You can’t say it’s loud if you can’t hear it, silly.” Akane found herself smiling.

“It just...looks loud, but....” Satoshi yawned loudly. Akane found herself pulling away from the skyline. She tightened her grip onto Satoshi’s smaller hand.

“It’s cool?” Akane asked.

“Mhm. It’s cool-” That was the last thing he said before he almost fainted to the floor, collapsing with exhaustion. Luckily, Akane had caught him just in time. He didn’t do anything but mumble as he melted into her arms.

Akane stumbled a bit as she got up to her feet. The pebbles around the floor scattered, as well as got lodged uncomfortably into the soles of her feet. The door that Satoshi had come out of was now swinging and creaking barely on the frame. Inside there was the unwelcome laughter that accompanied the nights around her home. Akane shut her eyes tightly, mind telling her to stop being so childlike.

The others were still asleep, and those men weren’t that far away. Akane looked once more at the city. There might have been places to go, people to meet, food to eat, but she couldn’t indulge in such thoughts in a muggy night such as this. Akane held Satoshi close to her chest tightly and ran into the house.

But despite everything, the sea of lights wouldn’t leave her mind. It kept speaking and speaking until she had pushed her head against the wall. She wasn’t hearing voices. It must have been her subconscious, trying to pull her away.

“Leave behind everything. Leave behind everything.”

Even as she went to sleep, it wouldn’t even let her breathe.

  
**...**

 

Sweat, blankets, comfort.

Akane awoke among the pillows scattered around on the bed. She scratched at her throat, then her ear. Her stomach was clenching again. It must have been morning, or at least too early. From what she could tell, it was still completely dark.

The party music was gone. Everyone must have been asleep, including little Natsumi Kuzuryu. The room was so quiet now, that even breathing wasn’t heard among the density of the silence. It should have been obvious to hear, but maybe it was Akane was too transfixed on the pain in her stomach to do anything about it.

She stumbled out of bed, fumbling around for a wall. Too loud? Akane immediately regretted her decision and stood straight. She couldn’t afford to wake anyone up.

Her hands found a door knob, and she fell forward into the bathroom, smashing her head against the counters.

“OW! Shit!”

So far she was failing at this “quiet” business. Using her leg, Akane shut the bathroom door closed and flipped on the switch. After the bright dose of light hit her eyes and she almost shrieked, Akane blinked them to comprehend herself in the mirror.

Oh, god. She looked awful. Stray brown hair was cut too harshly near the ears, her skin pale from all the vomiting, a trail of dried saliva leaving her mouth. Akane stood and pondered what had exactly went wrong. Her eyes didn’t nearly have the same fire in them as before, but they still gleamed against artificial lighting. Her lips were still full, and her body looked...fine. Still...there were problems that lurked below skin-level.

Without thinking, Akane’s hand touched her reflection. She would be scolded in the morning, but she didn’t care. She wanted to know what it felt like. She did know herself, but the voice. That singular voice. The dreams? What the hell was even happening anymore?  
  
Akane sighed and backed into the wall, her shoulders hitting the towel rack. It was amazing how tidy her cottage was now. There were delicate soaps assorted across the sink. The shower was so clean, unlike how it used to be. It truly did look nice. Small beginnings, she supposed.

But she couldn’t think of that at the moment. Sure, it was fascinating and all how the bathroom had gotten so spotless, but she had almost lost track of the voice. Whatever it was, it would not shut up, and it would say the same thing.

“Go to the beach.”

She could only think “Now?” What was the point of trekking over to the ocean, anyways? Was it her imagination? Her anxieties? Maybe it was a telepathic shark trying to eat her? The worst part was leaving the bathroom. She was sure she would wake someone up that time.

Her gut. That must have been the voice. She couldn’t even hear a tone, but she swore it had spoken live words. She had barely disobeyed her gut before. What would go wrong this time?

  
**...**

 

Akane’s bare foot touched the sand. How soft it was, how completely untouched from man. It was a calming feeling, making her insides feel like jelly. She hadn’t been to the beach in some time, preoccupied with her own business mostly…

She felt selfish, like she had let a friend down. She had, hadn’t she? Friends needed to see each other, to communicate. Akane supposed she was the guilty party on that one.

She began to walk slowly, almost cautiously. Who would be aware of a giant, man-eating worm, or a scheming shark? No one. That’s why Akane had to be careful. Any company was bad company out at night. Even when she had lived here for six years, there was no telling when disaster might strike.

Kicking the sand gently, the roaring of the ocean waves lulled her worries just a bit. Still, she had to be prepared for anything.

With almost timid movements, Akane stepped into the dark sea. Even in summer, the cold wouldn’t stop biting her calves. Small shells and rock swirled sand danced around by her feet. She tried not to jump from the sudden shock.

Then, suddenly, she dropped into the water and sat on the muddy sands below her. The tides reached her waist, and she shook from the cold. It was almost miserable, but she had to answer the voice. She had to concentrate beyond pain.

What do you want? What do you want? She asked inwardly. Akane needed to know, she had to. It would kill her if she didn’t.

Now with the current news and everything seeming to spiral out of proportion, she needed something tethering her to the ground. She would fly if not for the fact of a few things keeping her close behind. For example...

She was happy.

Was she, though? There were people here that made her happy. She loved these people, and yet there was no way to feel content. How could anyone want this? This...prison of a home they all shared.

“We deserve this.” The voice said again.

Akane agreed. They did deserve anything thrown their way.... She wouldn’t have felt right if they hadn’t received punishment at all. But it was killing her. It was absolutely killing her.

What was the outside world like? How were Makoto and the others? Was the sky blue on the other side? Were the waves clean and the food fresh? Were the babies being held by their mothers? Was the grass green and growing fast in a better world?

She wanted to know. She wanted to know. She wanted to know.

Clenching her fist so tightly that she could have sworn she cut off the circulation, Akane seethed through her teeth. It didn’t help that the current “issue” arose. This...situation as it was. When Peko told her, she was ecstatic. Well, she was ecstatic in Peko Language.

But what would happen? So far, the whole experience sucked. In the long run, she wasn’t even sure if it would last. There were doubts on the island, of failing health. She just hoped that it wouldn’t be anytime soon. She couldn’t afford it. She couldn’t...deal with it.

Not to mention the blood of children on her hands, siblings or not. Akane was a doomed project from the get go.

  
She found herself rubbing her nose against her wrist. She wasn’t crying, not yet.Her hands felt clammy and salt bitten. She felt uneasy again. It was the perfect night.

She put her head in her hands, gasping as the water licked up to her arms. The tide. It must have been the tide. If she let go, she would be whisked away by the ocean, pulled into the sea forever. She’d probably become stranded, lost.

Akane had spent her whole life as a lost child. She didn’t want that to happen again.

She didn’t know what she was doing. Why was she even here? Why was she in the water? Why…?

  
“Akane!”

Her head jolted up against the wind. It was getting stronger. The water began to sting her skin at this point. Akane decided to pull herself to her feet, sighing as she did so. Warm, ocean wind hit her bottom half. It was warmer than she thought it was. Perhaps she had gotten so used to nothing but heat, that she hadn’t realized.

“Akane…” He was more irritated by this point. Akane rolled her eyes and turned around.

“What’re doing up? I thought...you were sleeping.”

Nekomaru, now much older than he was years ago, crossed his arms to his chest. A lot of things about him had calmed down since then. His hair, his attitude, his clothes...Sure, there were moments when he let it all loose, but… it was sad, almost. Living safely mean leading a cushy, boring life. Of course, there were some things that would always stay with him.

“I was, until you hit the bathroom wall.”

“Damn it! I knew that you would wake up to that!” Akane groaned. “You weren’t supposed to follow me like some sort of weird dude!”

“I didn’t stalk you or anything!” He shouted over the waves of the ocean. “Here...just…” She couldn’t hear him that well.

Akane watched as Nekomaru sighed and walked over, from the far side of the shore to the edge of the waters. He tentatively stuck his socks into the sea, and shivered. “Wow, this is cold as shit!”

“What are you doing?!” Akane instantly became hostile, planting her feet farther into the mud.

“Getting you!” Nekomaru pushed himself into the water. By the time he had reached Akane, it had gone up to his knees. She was still inches shorter than him, glaring and tapping her fingers against her hip. Despite how cold he must have been, he gave her a firm glance and raised an eyebrow.

“No, I’m good-WH-” In one move, Akane was swept up into his arms. Water splashed everywhere and she trashed around for a moment. “W-What the hell!”

Despite how much she squirmed, he didn’t let Akane go. His arms were tight around her, yet careful. Eventually, she decided to give up until he reached the sand once again. She sighed and flopped her head on its side, trying to get a look at him.

“I can walk!” Akane huffed impatiently. “Nothing bad was gonna happen. I was just sitting in the water and stuff.”

“Uh, hypothermia?”

“What.”

“You could have gotten hypothermia.” Nekomaru said as she set her down onto the beach. She was placed on the sand, sitting down on her butt. He leaned down, and began to take off his jacket, which he had probably brought just in case.

“It was like, super hot out! No way was I gonna get that, okay?”

“I’ve seen it happen, even in summer. Trust me, it’s not something I want to happen to you.” Now with nothing but a tank top covering his chest, Nekomaru placed the jacket around her, making sure she got all of the warmth. Instantly, there was a hole that filled within her. 

Akane sulked, head in her hands. Her cheeks burned again, and she looked up at him. She couldn’t see much, but he did seem to be in better shape than the last time she saw him. That must have been...well, a few days ago. Mikan, being Mikan, had instructed Nekomaru to give himself a break. He had decided to leave into the wilderness of the island for a day or two. This journey had meditation purposes, for his stress levels. That’s what the doctor said, anyway.

He must have come when she was passed out after the party. Hm, how flattering for her.

“How come you’re always right…” Akane grunted, holding her arms to her chest. The jacket did feel nice, and it smelled like him...Wait. Who cared about the jacket? What was she thinking? Why...sitting in the ocean? It was just so abstract!

  
“No, I’m not.” Nekomaru chided, and patted her head. He couldn’t hold in his affection as he did so, and ended up placing a short kiss on her cheek. “But I missed you!”

“Agh, you’re getting all mushy again!” Akane screamed, though she leaned into the touch, smiling genuinely for once. He hadn’t shaved since she last saw him. There was some scruff there, but not too much. “...I missed you, too.”

It was strange how lonely she was when he was gone, even if just two days. The realization left an imprint in the moment. Akane’s fingers tightened around his own. It was also strange how normal touch had become between the two of them. It wasn’t even awkward, though it was at first.

A serious relationship was something Akane thought she would never be a part in. To be fair, a lot of things had changed. This being one of them. Still, it was surreal as as hell. Even after so long, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to something as simple as a hand holding her own. She’d go to sleep and wake up with the same person. She would pass out on his chest every time, like clockwork. Akane could guess that they were similar to how they used to be, only with kissing and maybe less violence.

Akane realized how quiet it was, and seeked to fill the air. “So...how was your adventure?” she decided to ask. It didn't hurt to learn more.

“You wouldn’t believe it, Honey, but I feel at least five years younger! At least!”

“Man, that’s awesome-” Akane frowned. “Honey?! I told you no weird names!”

Nekomaru laughed. “How is that weird? It’s a famous pet name!”

“C-Cause that’s not even my real name or nothing. So-” Akane sighed and held back. There wasn’t really anything she could say to stop him. There was still drops of salt water on her legs, and the smell of the ocean was more prominent tonight.

“Okay...but, Akane?”

“Hm?”

Nekomaru sighed heavily, and held the bridge of his nose. “Why were you sitting in the ocean? At night? At four in the morning, on top of that?”

“I get it, okay? This is gonna sound real weird to you-”

He began to look to the sea. The moon was so full tonight. Akane hadn’t noticed it before. “Akane, I’ve known you for eight years, maybe more. You’d think I’d be used to you by now!”

Akane huffed and crossed her arms. Her cheeks were too hot. “I’ve just been having these dreams, okay? These...really weird dreams.”

“About your family?”

Akane stopped. “How did you know?”

He shook his head. “It’s the same with me. It must have been that stupid program, conjuring up all kinds of shit. Messing with our heads...y’know.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, I’m not, but it’s a possibility.”

Akane inwardly cheered. “Well, at least I know where they’re coming from!”

“Like I said, Akane, I’m not even sure. You’re better off talking to Hajime about it.” Nekomaru muttered.

“But it’s just weird! For some reason, the dream told me to come right here!” Akane pointed to the spot where she once stood.

Nekomaru gasped. “Your dreams wanted to drown you?!”

“No! They just wanted to show me something...I guess.” Akane wondered. But what was the thing they wanted to show her? Was it a premonition? A prophecy? The...moon?

“Maybe they wanted to show you the fish!” he joked.

“...Eh, I dunno. I don’t think the fish would like me that much.”

“What’s not to like?”

“Well, I might...get hungry...You know how I am.”

“So you’re just going to murder them!?”

“No! Forget I said anything!” Akane sulked and crossed her arms as he giggled away beside her. They had now turned halfway to watch the waves wash up to the shore. Naturally, Akane let her head rest onto his shoulder. His hand was on her’s, as he sighed the laughter away.

“Okay, but seriously? I feel uneasy with you being here all alone.” Nekomaru’s hand grabbed her own tighter. He probably didn’t mean to.

“My dreams aren’t plannin’ a hit on me or nothing.” Akane said.

“I know that, I know that.” Nekomaru mumbled. “But I just can’t help but worry sometimes…”

“Worrying is bad for your heart....You know that.”

He gave her a knowing look, almost joking. “Everything’s bad for my heart.”

Akane growled and punched him in the arm. He barely moved, just looked down in question. “Don’t say crap like that! Name one thing that’s good for it, and then we’re even.”

“Besides Mikan’s medication?”

“Yeah...sure.”

“Alright...hm…” Nekomaru thought to himself for a minute. “You, of course!”

Akane rolled her eyes. “That’s not true. You were just worrying about me...”

“And for good reason, too! What was I supposed to do? Leave you to die from the cold?”

Akane looked away. “No…”

Nekomaru drooped his head. He tapped his fingers against his knee, before he began to pull himself to his feet. “We probably need to go, don’t we?”

Akane couldn’t look away. The sea had her captivated. Each wave was a different shape, getting bigger over the course of time. The moon really was beautiful, almost hypnotizing. She pretended to ignore the feeling that told her to go back.

“Akane?” There was a hand extended to her. She looked up. He was concerned, as usual.

She took his hand and was brought up to her feet. Akane didn’t say a word as he rubbed the jacket around her. She was warmer than before, so that was good.

Was it good?

Akane didn’t remember any times where he wasn’t taking care of her in some way. She just wished she could have returned the favor just as much as him. The truth hidden deep in her mind, it made her feel small. She was so insignificant, in the theory of everything.

But she had to start something.

“Nekomaru?” she asked rather calmly. It was too calm for Akane. A sudden tenseness hung onto him.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I…” Akane held her tongue for a small moment. “What would life be like for us if none of this ever happened?”

“Uh, what do you mean? This island shit?”  
  
Akane grabbed his arms, eyes serious. “Everything! What if we had normal lives? What would we even do?!”

“You mean you and I?” Nekomaru asked.

“Well...yeah!” Akane looked away, trying her best not to be shy. “If none of this happened, all the Junko crap, what would even happen?!”

Nekomaru nodded, finally understanding. “Well, we’d be average citizens, Akane! We wouldn’t be living on a small Pacific island, and we-”

“I know that! But what about...all of this?” Akane guestered with her hands to between them. She needed to be more specific.

“One thing is sure, and that’s that after we would have graduated, I’d stay by your side no matter what.” Nekomaru smiled and continued on. Akane felt something in her melt with relief. “Gold medals don’t come easily after all!”

Then she glanced upwards, perturbed. “Gold medals? Oh, you’re talking about that manager crap…” He hadn’t talked about his talent in a long time. It was indeed, strange.

“Of course! It’s always been my job to support you, no matter the status of our relationship.”

“So you’d help me win?” Akane asked. “Man, with you by my side, we’d be loaded.”

Nekomaru physically started fuming. “T-That’s not the point, Honey!”

Akane almost screamed. “I told you to stop calling me that! It’s super embarrassing!”

“THAT TIME WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

Akane dashed forward, colliding face first into his chest. This time, he didn’t budge. How strange! He usually did! Akane growled and pretended she had succeeded.

“Hah! I got you!” Akane jumped once in the air, reclaiming her energy. “Now you have to answer my question but like, better!”

“Uh...better?” Nekomaru panicked and began to think again. “Honestly, wouldn’t we just be the same as we are now?”

“The same…?”

“Except that if nothing had happened, I would have definitely married you by now.” There was an almost sad smile on his face.

Akane felt her heart drop to her stomach. “Marry me?!”

“Yeah, of course! Unless…”

“No…! T-That actually sounds kinda cool.” Akane mumbled. It wasn’t the answer she was expecting, but she hadn’t minded.

The mood of the conversation had changed so quickly, that Akane was feeling as if she was being left behind. Her arms hung loosely by her sides. She wasn’t sure what else to say.

“What would our wedding be like?” he asked.

Akane rubbed at her cheek. It was burning as if she had a fever. “I dunno! I’ve never been to a wedding before…” She could imagine nothing really fancy. Not many people would probably be there.

He carried on. “I know for sure that we’d invite our former classmates.”

“And the little ones.”

Nekomaru paused. “Yeah. Them too, of course.”

He peered down at her for a moment. She wasn’t even looking at him anymore, but back at the sea. Jerking his arm out from the side, he set it on her cheek for support. Akane almost jumped out of her skin from the touch.

“Crap! You scared me!”

“Ah, sorry, Akane! I just-”

  
Akane smushed her own hand onto his, keeping it there on her cheek. “Nah, it’s good. Don’t take it away, now.”

He coughed, “Well, now it feels awkward…”

“I like it! Keep it there!” She then used her other hand to collapse onto the others. “It’s okay, Nekomaru!”

After a moment, he muttered, face tense. “You haven’t talked about them in a while. I mean...really talk about them.”

“Who? My siblings?”

“Have you been thinking of them recently?”

“Yeah. All the time.” Akane closed her eyes against the comfort on her cheek. Nekomaru looked at her with concern, but she shrugged it off. “Not in a bad way. It’s just how it is, right?”

“As long as you’re okay, then it’s fine with me.” Nekomaru was very grave now. Akane wasn’t sure what had come over him.

A few more moments passed. His hand had moved down to her shoulder. Somehow, she knew something was wrong. A lot must have been on his mind. The conversation from earlier that day, wouldn’t stop replaying in her mind. Peko, with her intuition and her gifts, had known before anyone else.

Now that she did know, Akane wasn’t sure what to think. She couldn’t help but be frightened. However, she needed him to know how she was feeling. It was his issue as well, after all.

Seeking to clear the air, Akane asked a simple question. “What about kids?”

“W-WHAT?!” That seemed to knock him out of the air. In fact, he had almost landed in the sand, stumbling on the beach for a bit.

Akane walked to him, calmer for once. “Natsumi gave me this one drawing and I…” She closed her eyes, conjuring up the picture in her mind. “She wants friends, I guess.”

“She...wants...friends…” Nekomaru repeated what she said without a trace of humor in his voice.

Akane squinted her eyes. It wasn’t the reaction she had expected. Perhaps he would have been more supportive of the idea if they weren’t on a tropical island. Peko had been the same way.

Then, Nekomaru said something else. “If we had gotten married, in that rhetorical situation, then I would have loved to have children with you, Akane.”

It was then, that reality had started to set in. The fear inside her was growing faster and faster. That rhetorical situation was something that would never happen, would it? No family movie nights, no elementary school, no sleepovers. It would be nothing like what Akane had wanted her childhood to be like. It would be a prison.

“I get it.” she said.

“But...it’s different now.” Nekomaru sighed. “It’s a hard call to make. On one hand, I’d love to be a dad!”

“But the island?”

He nodded, “That and…”

“Your heart?” Akane felt her worries build up. Great. She didn’t want him to think about that. Suddenly, the entire conversation had turned for the worse. Why did she have to spin it like this?

“Read my mind!” Nekomaru looked down. He was thinking again. “What’s going to happen, in that rhetorical situation, if I leave my family behind?”

“You won’t. Mikan’s got you covered, okay? You’ve made it four years.” Akane couldn’t help but feel as if she was only comforting herself. “You won’t leave us. I’ll make sure you won’t. ” She brought a hand to his own and forced herself to smile. It hurt so much to even have to say words like that. She couldn’t help but doubt even herself.

“I hope so, I mean-” Nekomaru paused. Something flickered in his eyes, and his breath faltered. “...Wait. Why are you talking like...that? Akane…”

  
With her heart beating faster than it ever had before, Akane shut her eyes tight and grabbed his hand harder. Then, she pulled it to her stomach, and held it there. She didn’t want to see his reaction. She didn’t even want to hear it, especially after what he had just said. Akane was putting herself on the line here. She needed something other than shock.

There was a bit of shame in knowing it, but it all had begun to make sense. Akane wasn’t sure what to even feel. Astonishment? Joy? Love? Horror? All of the above?

After a while, she heard nothing but the waves hitting the sand. Cursiously, she raised her head to look at him.

Nekomaru had an expression of the likes of which Akane had never seen. His lips were drawn tight, eyes wide but not afraid. He was thinking deeply, but he understood completely. There were tears threatening to spill, and his free hand was below his chin. 

She gazed up at him, unsure. He was trying his best to talk to her, but his mouth couldn’t find the right words.

“I just found out today.” Akane muttered, backing away a bit, leaving his hand. “Peko told me.”

“I…” Nekomaru drew in a deep breath. He wiped something from his eye and ducked his head. His voice became wavered. “Akane, I-”

  
“I just wanted you to know. That’s all.” Akane’s heart was beating so quickly that she could hardly stand it.

After another moment of nothing, he stepped closer. Nekomaru was still truly shocked. His lip was slightly trembling. There was resistance in the way he moved. It must have been the most quiet she had ever seen him. “So...there’s a...You’re actually…”

Akane nodded slowly. The intensity was starting to get to her now. She wasn’t really sure how long exactly she had been going through it. It was surreal. It was so crazy that she could have sworn she was dreaming.

Then, he stepped forward and brought her to his chest. With his arms locked in behind her, he drew a single hand to cup the back of her head. Akane stayed smushed to him. She waited for him to talk again. There were soft mumbles and sniffs. He must have been crying. Perhaps he felt a little guilty, or maybe he was scared. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was, too.

She used one of her hands to gently pat his chest. There wasn’t much she could do at this rate, but she didn’t want to resist and ruin the moment. There was a heavy heave of his chest, and his heart was beating fast. Akane stayed alert. She didn’t need another accident to happen, so she closed her eyes and held him tighter. The feeling of almost invisible kisses ghosted her hair. Akane glowered, wondering what exactly was happening up there. By now, her hair was damp with his own tears, yet she didn’t mind.

“Nekomaru, I...I didn’t know you’d react like this.” Akane muttered. His breath was shaky the top of her head. The gravity of the situation was seriously beating him down, good or bad.

“What do you mean?” Nekomaru managed a coherent sentence. His voice was weaker than it usually was, and Akane couldn’t help but feel insecure. She had never seen him like this before, and he was such an emotional person on top of that.

“You’re crying a whole lot...” Moving away, Akane brought up a hand to his eye and wiped some tears away. “I’m worried about you…”

He mumbled, through he was barely comprehensible. “You don’t need to worry...I’m just...”

“Nekomaru!” She paused, taking a frustrated breath and drawing away. She lightly punched him in the arm again. “It’s not THAT bad. I mean, we’ll get through this.”

“Not that bad?” Nekomaru drew his head back. For once, he was on normal terms. There were still tears streaming down his cheeks. “Akane, I’m ecstatic.”

“...What?”

“It’s wonderful. Akane, it’s wonderful.” He blinked some of the tears away. There was a warm smile on his face. Akane had never felt so relieved in all her life, but she still couldn’t help feeling so scared.

“Oh...so you like it?” Akane muttered.

“How could I not?!” He grasped her firmly, even as he was still trembling. The smile he was holding was cautious, but stable.

“Oh...Well I thought you were crying because you didn’t want it or something…”

“What?! Akane!”

  
“I just thought, y’know!”

“Never! Never in a million years, Akane!” She could feel his arms curl around her sides once again. He hadn’t stopped looking at her like...that. It was almost hard to return the gaze, to compete with how much he cared.

  
“I mean..we’re...we’re actually parents, aren’t we?” he took a while to say it, but the clearer picture began to fall into place. Akane’s blood froze. She hadn’t...really made it far in the thinking process...

“I guess there is something in...here.” Akane placed her hands on her belly. “Man, that’s so weird…” It had to be there, right? No matter how small, it had to be alive, did it? And she was going to be its…mother? 

So strange...

Despite feeling rather comatose, Akane let herself be huddled close and embraced once again. She could feel Nekomaru’s faint words of appreciation, but for some reason, she couldn’t hear a thing.

Akane hadn’t really thought that far ahead yet. She was still catching up, still realizing that the situation was indeed, real. But she was...She was a mom now. There was no going back now, was there?

Memories flashed of younger years, of younger faces. She had hurt so many. There was so much that she would have rather forgotten. Now with the knowledge that she had, how could she not think of them every time? How could a child grow up in a world with no means of escape? It was unfair, and cruel.

Of course there was the expected happiness of being an expecting parent. However, with that joy came pain and the guilt that they all shared. It didn’t surprise her that Nekomaru was afraid as well. He would take part in raising a child that he might just leave. One day, there was a possibility that he would never wake up.

Then there would come the questions. Natsumi, too. They would both ask about the fate of their circumstances.

“Why can’t we visit other places?”

“Why can’t we see other children?”

“Why are we here?”

And perhaps, that was the part that hurt the most. They were innocent. There was nothing that they had done to deserve a life in exile. There was no excuse, no way to pay anyone back. This was the life that now 18 people would live for the rest of their lives.

What would happen when her child would eventually find out about the horrors of their parents’ past? How could a small child even begin to understand the complexities of murder and death? How could Akane do it? How could she be a good mother when she had the blood on so many children on her hands?

How?

  
**...**

 

Akane woke up to blurry eyes and darkness covering them. By the waves on the shore, she could guess that she was still by the sea. However, she was sitting down, and shivering. She was being embraced closely by a person she could only guess was Nekomaru, and she was warm, protected. Still, her face remained cold and damp, no matter how much she pushed against him. 

When she raised her head, it was not as dark as it was before. The night sky was still scattered with the most beautiful of stars, but a bright light was emerging over the horizon. It must have been the sun. The sand was still soft on her knees.

“Oh. You’re awake!” Nekomaru tapped her shoulder. “Man, you passed out big time.”

“Hm?” Akane realized she had sand in her mouth. She grimaced. “Oh, god. What happened?”

“Well, it was about an hour ago.” he yawned, hand over his mouth. “You kind of tired yourself out.”

“Doing what?”

“Well, crying.” Nekomaru saw Akane’s scrunched up brow, but carried on. “I mean, I was too! We were both pretty out of it.”

She must have not remembered then. Akane dragged a hand across her face. That too, was covered in sand. How frustrating. Her cheeks were still damp, now prickly with particles. How gross.

“I just woke up, really! About ten minutes ago.” he said.

“So we just like, fainted?”

“Pretty much…”

Akane turned away and put her head on top of her knees. “I’m sorry that I did that. I woke you up, which caused you to come here, and then I made an idiot out of myself.”

“Akane, don’t you ever apologize for that.” Nekomaru obviously saw something that Akane didn’t. She simply had forgotten what it had been like. “You were scared. It’s okay.”

  
“I know, but…” Akane’s own throat hurt. Her eyes hurt even more. What the hell had even happened?

“I’m scared, too. I’m not sure how we’re going to do this, if I’m being honest.” Nekomaru took a deep breath, straightening out his arms and looking out to the morning sea. He seemed complacent, if not overwhelmed by his meltdown an hour prior.

Akane shut her eyes closed. They were sticky. Her fists were curled and tightening by each minute she continued to stay quiet. “I don’t want to screw it up again.”

“Screw it up?”

“Y’know…” Akane glanced back at him. He seemed to get her. She could almost taste the metal on her tongue, the sharp crack of bones and childlike screams. It was still too familiar. Even after getting over it, could she really get over it?

“It won’t happen again. It’s different this time, anyhow. There’s no way that…” Nekomaru paused as he got up to his feet, brushing the sand away. “I know it’s hard, but you gotta trust with me this.”

“But...I…”

“This is truly our second chance.” Nekomaru said. He was now looking back at the sea, standing tall beside her. The dawn wind was coming in, lightly blowing his hair.

Akane puffed out some air. “Second chance? I guess we needed one of those.”

“This time, we’re truly starting over. Maybe...maybe this a sign of sorts.” Nekomaru had a hand to his face. He was thinking deeply.

“But it’s awful…” Akane grumbled. “I never wanted it to happen like this.”

“Me neither. A long time ago, I daydreamed of going to my kids’ soccer games. It was just...one of those stupid, little dreams, y’know?”

“And now it can’t happen.”

“That’s not necessarily true.” Nekomaru pondered. “We have sports balls around here, don’t we? It’s unconventional, but it’ll do.”

Maybe, when he put it that way, it could work. If she was going to be a mom, then she was going to be the best damn mom in the entire world. Nothing could stop her now.

Nekomaru looked down to her again. His arms were crossed. “When you were asleep, I was doing some thinking…”

Akane was too busy huddled around herself. She wasn’t cold anymore.

He continued, “I have to say that I’m so excited! It’s amazing, truly!”

Akane raised her head to sulk at him. “But you said earlier-”

“I don’t care what I said earlier. That was hypothetical, and this is actually happening.” Nekomaru said. “And despite the situation we’re stuck in, I honestly couldn’t be happier.”

Akane couldn’t take it any longer, and she pulled herself to ground level. Staring at him right in the eyes, she appeared confident. “Happier about what?”

He glanced down, unperturbed. “That I have a family, of course.” It seemed to be obvious to him and only him.

Akane felt something in her stop. She had to look down and catch her breath. “A family? With me?”

“Mhm. I’ve...never really had a complete family before.” Nekomaru smiled. “I think ‘you’ and ‘I’ is the perfect start, don’t you think?”

Ah, damn it all. Despite everything, Akane felt warmed. There was a special comfort in knowing it. She watched him through her windblown hair. “That...would be nice. I hadn’t really thought of that.”

Nekomaru began to place his arms around her sides, pulling her closer again. Akane placed her head against his chest. She couldn’t help but bite her lip as the sun rose above the sea. The water began to gradually turn orange against the glow of the morning.

Hearing the perpetual thump within his ribs, Akane wanted to keep talking. “What about your heart? What’s going to happen if you do go?”

“...That’s a simple question, and I’ll answer it right now!” Nekomaru took a deep breath. “I won’t.”

Akane pushed away from him. “But...you don’t know! That’s the point!”

“Yeah, that’s true. I don’t know.” Nekomaru sighed. “But where’s the good in worrying about things like that?”

Akane felt irritation building up. She clenched her fists and completely pushed herself away. “I-I can’t help but worry about it sometimes! Don’t be stupid!”

“Akane…” Nekomaru rubbed his forehead. “I swear on everything that is holy, I’m not going to leave you. I don’t care how bad it gets, I’m staying with you and…the baby.” He gestured to her belly.

”But you can’t just...change your mind like this!”

Nekomaru’s gaze intensified. In moments like these, she could see the fire in his eyes just like before. Still, there was compassion in his voice.

“One thing you should remember about me, Akane, is that I never give up.” Nekomaru’s confidence was beaming. It was a rather nice sight to see. “Not once was I planning on leaving someone I love so much.”

He began brush her arm with his thumb. All at once, Akane began to feel overwhelmed with every possible emotion. “...I don’t know...what I would do if y-you...”

”Akane, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I stay here with you.” Nekomaru seemed to be in better spirits, yet he was humbled. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Not listening to her conscience, Akane threw her arms forward to pull Nekomaru down to her level. There, she kissed him sweetly with her eyes screwed up in concentration. He jumped a bit, but quickly leaned down for her support. Her hand came to rest by his elbow, while his came to support her sides. That was when she realized she had been leaning on her tip-toes the entire time.

It wasn’t particularly intense. She hadn’t intended for it to be. But the more she kissed him, something in her began to fall away. Akane noticed that he too, was slipping. It wasn’t what she had meant it to be, but it was nice. She paused a moment to breathe and tightened her hold on him. “Love you, too...by the way.” Akane hadn’t meant it to sound the way it did; harsh and broken in all the wrong ways. It was quiet enough, but meant only for him. He heard her, and smiled against her lips. Years ago, she wouldn’t have known much about those words, let alone say them. It had been a weird couple of years, that was for sure. 

Finally, Akane broke away and hid her face away into his neck. Her breath had run too far for her to catch it on time. She stood there, barely cognizant.

“You better not die, or I’m gonna be real mad.” The funny thing was that Akane had prepared for it to be a joke, but that was the bitter truth. It was a thought too painful for her to even think of. No matter what, she had to think like him. Positive, persevering, strong. 

"Seriously, you better not die, or else I'm gonna be really pissed." Akane said.

Nekomaru nodded with a laugh warm from his chest. “I better be careful then!”

“Ugh, there’s that thing again-”

“Akane, it’s okay. Please, you gotta have faith in me!”

Faith? She could guess that mattered, although it hadn’t helped her before. Faith was just something people used to fix their problems...Again, that’s what she used to know. Now, there was an allurement in the word “faith.” It made her want to believe in something good, maybe for just once. It didn't matter that Nekomaru was inherently weaker than she was. It didn't mean he didn't have a chance. Did it?

Akane’s arms loosened, and she let go of him. She stumbled a bit on the beach, eventually getting her grip and standing strong once more. He grinned back at her, all the tragedy from before falling into the sea.

It was still dark outside, but the sun was mild on her arms. The clouds were pink, surrounding the ocean with an ethereal glow. Every morning was like this, and yet Akane had seen far too few. However, her legs were sore and her mouth was full of sand. She wanted something else.

“Why don’t we go home?” So far, Nekomaru had read her mind. “We’ve been out here for far too long.”

A simple, wooden cottage was the best home she had ever had. It didn’t have much, but it had enough. It had comfort and warmth and someone who loved her. Wasn’t that the nice thing about life? Wasn’t it enough?

Without another word, Akane grasped his hand as he began to walk away from the shore. Akane couldn’t help but feel as if this was the last time she would see the beach this way. Each grave appeared immaculate, perfectly there for their own reasons. Everything seemed almost too perfect, like something from a movie scene.

Akane was afraid she would never see such a sight ever again, and she was right. And she couldn’t help but hear, over the waves crashing loud and fierce, a small child’s voice above the sea...

She stopped, therefore pulling Nekomaru’s stroll to a close. He looked at her in question, listening too for anything unusual. Even with how much he tried, he still could not hear what she did. Strangely, he was almost afraid to ask.

Akane didn’t know this child’s name. All she knew was that it had said her name once and clearly enough to understand. This child wanted her back where she started.

“Akane, Akane.” they called again. They were becoming impatient. The voice was soft, as if it had come straight from a pleasant dream.

Akane almost wanted to stretch out her hand, and calm the waters she knew were far too calm already. There had to be something there, didn’t it? There absolutely had to have been. There was a feeling by the likes of which she had never felt, bubbling deep in her chest.

After all this time, she had heard a voice.

“Akane.”

The wind had a voice. The sand had a voice. The water had one, and so did the clouds. Everything in nature was one being, constantly watching over the fallen students that resided in its fortitude. Akane felt the voice as the wind blew her hair, and as her feet touched the ground. Something wanted to talk to her.

“Akane!”

Another voice joined in. This one was frantic. It distracted her.

“AKANE!”

Akane opened her eyes. Nekomaru was in front of her, heavily concerned. He was waving a hand in front of her face. She blinked a few times, and managed to smile at him.

“What’s wrong, Nekomaru?”

“What’s wrong? You just went into shock or something! I-I was so worried!” With ease, he dragged Akane away from the beach. He shuffled the jacket back onto her, and warmed her shoulders.

“Sorry, I just...thought I heard something.” she muttered.

“I noticed…” Nekomaru lifted his head, and hummed. “If something was bothering you, you can tell me!”

Akane couldn’t help the smile that escaped her. “Nekomaru, it’s okay! It wasn’t much.”

Nekomaru paused, looking at her with the utmost discreteness. Carefully, he grabbed her hand and held it. “If you say so...but…” He looked to the ocean himself, to hear exactly what she did. No voices came. “But we better go back. Since we didn’t even get good sleep, I’d suggest we sleep in..”

Akane cocked her head. “That doesn’t sound like something the Ultimate Team Manager would say!”

Nekomaru grinned, lightly swinging their arms. “I’m taking parental leave, didn’t you know?”

Akane frowned. “Parental what-now?” She ignored the voice that called again. It almost seemed to crawl at the edge so of her skull, never giving her a break.

Nekomaru let out a soft sigh. “Ah, nevermind.”

Akane tried not to glance at the beach. She needed something tangible to hold herself together. She needed confirmation. “So we’re really doing this?”

“Without a doubt!”

“And we’ll do it together?”

Nekomaru gave her an adamant look, and squeezed her hand. “Together!”

Akane smiled, her cheeks becoming warm. An almost sunny feeling blossomed in her chest, and she was almost content. Before she knew it, the two of them had walked almost completely away from the beach. She didn’t need to look back. Whatever that voice was, it could bother her later.

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder. Was she really going crazy, or was it something else?

Akane tried not to listen to such ideas, and instead focused on the read ahead, and how far she had come. Through everything, she had been led here. Perhaps in some weird way, it was worth it in the end. Sure, it wasn’t expected or even wanted, but it was here.

With the sun beginning to shine on the island below, Akane remembered why she was here. Despite her regrets and shame, there were some things she was glad had never changed. In its own strange way, this life had been worth it’s wait.

And such life on Jabberwock Island would continue, until the end of time. New life, older ones, promises that never died. The legends still continued. That much was obvious. The Remnants of Despair would continue to live their lives in exile, away from the shores of mankind. They were dangerous and evil and unkind. Children were asked to stay away, and that only misery was harvested there.

Nonetheless, life continued on for everyone. As strange as their new lives were, the Remnants of Despair were almost as normal as every other man. Of course, no sane person would think this. After the tragedy, who would? Who would want to listen to beasts such as them?

But it was a strange, little thing. Years later after everything, Akane Owari would still remember. She would stand against the stars and reminisce about home. Except this time, there was no bitterness, no hatred of herself.

Despite everything, she had found home, and the tiny hands that would grab her own. One day, of course she would tell them. Any mother would have to.

But that was far ahead. Now she had the comfort of the night sky and the people she loved by her side. Memories would always hurt. They wouldn’t ever leave her, but that was the good part. What good was a memory if it was forgotten?

At night, she’d tell them of stories of the mainland, and what it had been like. These children would never see the outside world, of mountains and rivers and snow. Jabberwock Island would be the only place they would know, the only ground they would step upon.

But they were happy, oblivious. They were just kids, weren’t they? They didn’t have to think of such intricate ideas such as life or death. All that mattered to them was comfort, food, and friends. Those were the only truths they were close to. Those were the only lies they would know.

A while ago, Akane had been the exact same way. It had been monstrous, difficult beyond belief to change. And she was glad she did. Now it was something to look back to, something to reminisce upon. In bed, she’d stay by the same person and wake by the same person. She'd eat dinner with the same people she went to high school with. It was boring, but it was a routine. She liked it.

In the grand span of everything, those old memories were now a sweet dream as she would ponder the world from far, far away. They were something she could never reach, but never expected to. It was a little game she would play, as she would drift off to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**The End**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO WOW. I got so much to say here and let me get it all out in the open. First off, I'm going to talk about the story...So uh...
> 
> ... :'' D...
> 
> Natsumi, ay fellas? Hopefully I wrote her good. I absolutely love child characters, and I thought that a little friendship between her and Akane would be kinda cathartic. On one hand, I wanted to introduce every single character again, but I was worried about the time. Turns out I didn't need to worry, because look how long this monster is OMG!!
> 
> Next off, I hope I ended this thing decently. There were too many ideas floating around in my head and I was so nervous to get this one posted. Again, I'm sorry for the long wait! I wanted it to be open ended but at the same time...not too strong.
> 
> And about the couple of the story...hopefully I did them justice. The concept of pregnancy is surprisingly difficult to get out into stories without it being poorly handled or corny af. I always thought that it would be good for them. Obviously having kids isn't a good thing for everyone, but for them? Yeah I think so. Also...btw...they had twins...just letting you guys know.................
> 
> I'm sorry if some lines are cringy or something. I swear if there are some cringy lines...I'll destroy them!
> 
> And finally, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you thank you thank you so much.., Honestly months ago when I first posted this story, I had no idea it was going to be as supported as it is. No just kudos, but your comments mean the most to me. It really warms my heart to know that people like my work. You guys are all amazing and I truly mean it. You have raised my confidence to new levels. I used to be extremely private about my work. Originally, I had written this story since like, January of 2019. Even if it was posted in May, I had too many chapters worth of material so I may have posted too fast!! I was a noob.
> 
> Anyway, just know that I love you all so much. You're all incredible people who have helped me, an amateur writer, become one step closer to achieving her dreams. It's been a beautiful journey full of laughter and key smashes, and I'm going to miss it so much. I'm going to miss you guys and your support, but don't worry because I'll be back hopefully very soon.
> 
> I've got two more projects on the way, and probably way more after that! These of course, aren't 120,000 something words and aren't 30 chapters long, but they'll be good. I promise that they'll be good!! : D
> 
> And finally finally, if any of you want to talk or anything, my tumblr is right here. It's a tumblr just for danganronpa that I made recently. My other tumblr is just for memes LOL so I'd doubt you'd want to follow that one.
> 
> jimblebird.tumblr.com 
> 
> Also my discord is on my profile if u wanna check that out. You are free to add me! It would be an honor!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
> 
> Once again, you all are amazing and I can't wait to post on here again. So for now I'll say goodbye. Thank you all so much for the comments, kudos, hits, and bookmarks. Every one of you are babies. Love you guys 」(￣▽￣」)


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